A/N: Dearest Readers, I wrote this on Saturday night out of boredom. It's probably dreadful in some parts because I can't write while watching TV at the same time. I hope you enjoy this awfulness.
Summary: When Edward and Bella are alone in the house during Bella's pregnancy, she has an awful dream. BxE, One-Shot.
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Twilight.
IMPORTANT: This is set after Bella begins drinking blood and things start to turn up. I know it isn't said in Breaking Dawn that (almost) all of the Cullen's leave the house at some point, so I made this up.
The Nightmare
I opened my eyes to see a blurry bright light shining above me. I blinked rapidly to clear my vision.
"Carlisle, she's awake." Edward's velvety voice was fuzzy in my ears. I looked around to see where I was. I looked to be in Carlisle's office on his operating table.
"It's much too late now to administer a sedative. She'll have to be awake for this." Carlisle was speaking in a very low voice, as if he thought I couldn't hear him. But if he really didn't want me to hear, why wouldn't he have just thought the words? And what were they talking about?
Edward was silent for a moment. I attempted to lift my head to see what they were discussing. I caught a glimpse of them before my head weakly fell back against the table. They were both standing at my sides, but they were dressed in medical scrubs. Why were they dressed like that? Was something wrong with the baby?
"Edw—"I began to speak.
"Shh...Everything's fine Bella. I'm so sorry." He moved into my line of vision and grabbed my right hand, squeezing it gently. I stared our intertwined hands for a moment before looking back up at Edward in confusion.
"What are you talking about?" I whispered, my voice barely making any sound at all. My throat was so dry...
Edward opened his mouth to speak, but Carlisle's voice cut him off. "It has become much too dangerous for you to carry what is inside you. We've decided to remove it."
I felt the tears well up in my eyes at his words. What? They were going to...take my baby out of me? No. No. They wouldn't do this to me. Edward knew how much I loved our baby. Carlisle knew as well. But they were going to...
I knew from the very beginning that Edward wished for me to abort our baby. He had his reasons, but Carlisle...he wasn't so blunt. This wasn't Carlisle. Carlisle was kind and would always ask for my permission. He wouldn't have said it so coldly. He would have called him a baby.
"What? No...," My sobs cut off my words. My upper body shook with the force of them. I tried to lift my arms to protect my large stomach, but Edward's hand held mine down with extreme force and the other felt as if it were made of lead. "You can't..." I had to stop them...I needed to save him!
Where was Rosalie? Why wasn't she stopping this? Esme? Alice? Emmett? Somebody had to help me! Somebody had to help him!
"I'm so sorry, love," Edward whispered. I squeezed my eyes shut to try to stop the tears, but they continued flowing. I tried to raise my arms again, but they stayed right where they were.
"Please...stop. I'll get better. I'll eat more. Please just stop!" I cried once I opened my eyes. I flinched when I heard the sound of metal clinking together. How were they actually going through with this? Without my permission? My trust in Edward was vanishing rapidly.
"Bella, please," Edward's voice sounded sad, but cold at the same time. Where was my Edward? The one who was sweet and loving? "Don't try to blame this on yourself. It simply has to be taken out of you. I can't lose you," Edward said from beside me. His voice got colder and colder as he spoke.
I tried to open my mouth to speak, but no words came. I wanted to yell, You'll lose me if you do this!
Edward obviously did not get the message and looked over to the other side of the room. My stomach blocked the view. I assumed Carlisle was over there.
"Are you ready?"
No, no, no!
"Of course," Carlisle's voice sounded muffled again. Edward responded, and I couldn't understand a word he said. I tried to move my arms again, but I felt nothing. What was going on? Why couldn't I move?! They said I wasn't sedated. I needed to move! I tried to move my legs, but I felt nothing there as well.
I tried to speak again, but now my mouth wouldn't move. I gasped for air as I sobbed and I thankfully felt my lungs expanding. But that wasn't important. I needed to save my baby!
Suddenly, Carlisle was in my line of vision. There was something shiny in his hands. I blinked away the tears and squinted at the object. My heart dropped when I saw what it was.
A scalpel.
For the first time in a while, my sobs stopped and a new sound came out. It was a choking sound that I wasn't aware I could make. I was fairly sure it was a cry of pain and sadness.
I gasped for air again and attempted to speak. Thankfully, my voice made it through this time. "Please..." Don't kill my baby, please.
"I'm sorry, Bella," Edward whispered. I shook my head at him. Nothing he could say or do would ever make up for this. Ever.
Nobody said a word and I closed my eyes. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. It slid all the way across it. I began to sobbing again in complete helplessness. They were really taking my baby out of me. They were killing him. I'm so sorry, EJ. I tried so hard to save you. I'm so sorry. I attempted to wiggle to slide off of the table, but I was completely still.
The scent of blood wafted up towards my nose and I became dizzy. My heard whirled as I heard Edward's voice. How could he do this to me?! If he loved me so much, why was me betraying me like this?! Why was he killing our baby?!
I sobbed even harder when I felt the cool sensation of Edward's hand leave mine and move to my stomach. I briefly hoped that he was trying to feel our baby, but I knew instantly that he was not. I opened my eyes and looked through the tears to see his head at the bottom of my stomach, near the cut. I could feel the blood pouring out. I weakly tried to lift my hand to push him away, but when I actually felt it rise up from the table, a cooler one pushed it back done.
I had overheard Jasper and Emmett talking to Edward about how the legends had said that the child would get out with it's teeth when it was ready to come out. Our baby was not ready! He was not ready to leave the womb! He was not ready to die!
A pain greater than anything I'd ever felt spread across my stomach. It was much, much more painful than the burning in my hand in the ballet studio. If I thought that was torture, than this pure hell. It was much more than physical. I could feel my baby being taken away from me. They were going to kill him as soon as he was out, if he wasn't already dead. I could feel myself shutting off as Edward lifted his head from my womb and Carlisle reached towards it. Something deep inside me ripped and I cried out as they pulled my baby out of me. I knew he was dead already. He hadn't even had chance to look around and see the world.
He didn't have a chance to do anything.
I'm sorry, EJ. I'm so, so sorry. I loved you so much, but they took you from me. I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I'm sorry.
I heard the sound of them whispering, but it was much too low for me to understand. I really didn't care anymore. I felt empty. I wished I could look up and see my baby, but I physically couldn't. It was over. Without my baby, I was nothing. Edward had betrayed me in the worst way possible. I would never be able to forgive him for this.
I heard the sound of a door opening and I knew that Edward and Carlisle had left the room, leaving me alone and bleeding. Were they not even going to let me see him? Were they just going to throw him away as if he were nothing?
"Bella," Edward's voice said as if he were next to my head. Didn't he just leave the room? Did he actually expect me to respond, let alone look, at him after this?! I knew I was still sobbing. The pain in my abdomen was enough to keep me going. I wished I could be quiet and torture Edward as he had done to me. He had killed our baby...my sweet, sweet baby. He'd done nothing wrong. He couldn't help that he was strong!
"Bella!" Edward yelled again, right in my ear.
Suddenly, my eyes shot open. I was in the living room on the couch. When had they moved me from the office? Had I passed out?
Edward's face hovered above mine, his hands on my shoulders. I quickly squeezed my eyes shut. I couldn't even look at him. I felt the familiar tears spring up behind my lids and quickly sneak through. I began to sob uncontrollably.
Edward was immediately behind me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his lap. I began to squirm as a sign for him to let me go, but he only held me tighter. I slapped at his hands but he didn't budge.
"Shh...are you in pain?" He whispered.
Am I in pain?! I began to sob louder at his question and continued to try and pull away from him. He didn't let me move an inch.
He was quiet as I sobbed in his arms reluctantly. I cried for the loss of my child. My child that I had fought so hard for. My child that I had loved with all my heart. My child that I wanted to raise with Edward, who'd betrayed me in the worst way imaginable. How dare he hold me when he had just killed our child?! I wasn't even sure how I was bearing it. I pushed against his chest, but I was much too weak. All of the movement had exhausted me. My body gave in and just began to sob against him, my tears staining his shirt. He was silent for a long time. When he spoke again, it was minutes later. "Shh...it was only a dream."
He whispered it very quietly, but it definitely caught my attention. What on Earth was he talking about?
I looked down to see if his words were true, and I gasped as I saw that my stomach was still as large as ever. Happiness overtook me as I discreetly moved my hand from against his torso to my stomach. I could feel my baby moving around, lightly at that, inside.
My tears now were filled with joy at my revelation. My baby wasn't dead! They hadn't killed him! He was alive! It was only a dream! My arms moved up to Edward's neck as I held myself as close as possible, with my belly thankfully in between us. He sat still for a moment before tightening his arms around me even more, being especially fragile with me.
"Oh my God," I whispered for the first time since I woke up. I cried in relief in the crook of Edward's neck.
Edward's hand began to run up and down my back in a soothing manor. I pulled back to look at him. I immediately felt guilty for thinking that he would actually do that to me. I trusted him with...everything. How could I actually believe that he would do that?
"Are you okay, love?" He said in a loving tone, the opposite of that in the dream—no, nightmare.
"I...had a bad dream," I whispered.
He nodded. "I assumed. Do you want to tell me what it was about?"
I opened my mouth to speak, but just like in my dream, no sound came out. But now, I had no idea what to say. I looked down to my stomach, feeling overwhelmingly happy that my baby was safe and sound in my womb. When I looked back up, Edward was staring at it in confusion.
"In my dream...," I whispered, feeling the guilt take over me. Would he be angry at me for thinking that he would actually do that to me? I thought back to the nightmare, flinching as I recalled the intense pain of losing our baby. The tears welled up in my eyes at the memory. "You...killed him."
I looked down at my lap, avoiding Edward's eyes. I didn't bother wiping the tears that fell onto my stomach and legs. It was no use.
Edward was silent for several seconds before reaching out and grabbing my hands that lay in my lap. I looked up to see his eyes burning with an emotion I couldn't quite distinguish. "Oh, Bella...Do you really think I would do that to you?"
I squeezed my eyes shut. "No...but I guess I'm just worried that maybe you...could. I know you don't want him and..." I trailed off, unsure how to finish my sentence.
"Bella, I need to be brutally honest with you. In the beginning, before we found what...he needs, before I could think straight, I actually...contemplated it."
I quietly gasped, but before I could begin to speak, Edward already started talking. "Now that I can think clearly, I know how that would destroy you. You would never forgive me for that. How could I do that to you? How could I do that to us? You would never speak to me again. And so now, I'm very, very thankful that everybody was against it. Who knows what would have happened to us..."
I stared in him in silence. I honestly had no idea how to react. Should I hug him? Scream at him for even thinking about it? I knew that yelling at him would be the absolute worst and most irrational thing to do. I knew exactly why he felt that why about the situation then. After taking a very long to time to except that he loved me, I knew that Edward would do anything to save me. He thought that our baby was a monster that would kill me, and for a while, he did. But as we found his and my source of nourishment, it became clear that he was only doing what he had to do to survive. As a little baby, he had no idea that he was hurting me.
I opened my mouth to speak, but a sharp pain in my side cut me off. "Ow!" I cried out unconsciously.
Edward flinched at the sound. "Are you alright? How badly did it hurt?"
I shook my head. "I'm fine. It was just a small kick."
"Are you sure?"
I nodded, but didn't say anything else on the subject.
"Do you mind telling me what happened...in your nightmare?"
I hesitated for a moment. This was Edward. He wouldn't be angry at me.
"Well, I woke up in Carlisle's office. You and him were there, and nobody else. I didn't know what was going on. I tried to ask you, but you just said that everything was okay and that you were sorry. I asked you to explain what you meant and Carlisle said 'We've decided to remove it'. It wasn't Carlisle really, since I know Carlisle wouldn't be so cold and would have asked for my permission. I began crying and I tried to tell you guys to stop. You didn't. I tried again, and I think I said 'I'll get better, I swear' and you told me to stop blaming myself and that you 'Couldn't lose me'. You sounded so cold." I looked over to Edward to see him staring at me intently, urging me to continue. "And then you took him out of me."
My eyes filled with tears and I blinked them away. "I'm not exactly sure what you did with him, but I never got to see him. You didn't apologize anymore after that. It was quite possibly the worst pain I'd ever experienced at that moment. I knew the very second that he was gone. I felt so...empty, yet angry at the same time. That's why when I woke up I kept pushing away from you. I thought I had passed out upstairs and you had brought me down here and wanted to pretend that nothing happened.
"I know that if for some reason this were ever to really happen, that you would've been very upset the whole time and you would have tried to apologize afterward, so I should've realized it was a dream. But it felt so...real. We already know that vivid dreams are a part of pregnancy..."
"Oh, Bella," Edward whispered. In a millisecond he had wrapped his arms around me again and pulled me into his lap. He held me close to him and began to rock me back and forth. "I'm so sorry."
I wanted to roll my eyes at him, a very sudden mood change. "What are you apologizing for? It was only a dream."
He shook his head. "Yes, but it felt very, very real to you, so I'm going to apologize. Also, I'm apologizing for not waking you up earlier. You began mumbling, something you haven't done in a long time. I should have known something was wrong."
"Really?" I asked in surprise. According to Edward, I hadn't talked in my sleep since before the honeymoon.
He nodded. He opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it. "Everyone will be back in a minute or so."
I looked around and then came to realization that we'd been alone the whole time. "Where did they go? And how did they get Rosalie to go with them?"
"I'm not exactly sure. I know they stayed in the perimeter. I think Rosalie's been just outside my hearing range. I caught her thoughts a few times."
"Should we tell her about...?" I asked.
"I wouldn't. She'd overreact."
I nodded.
In seconds, the front door opened and Rosalie was standing in front of me. Even after all this time, I jumped at her sudden appearance. "Did anything happen while we were gone?" Her eyes flashed to Edward.
I rolled my eyes. "No, Rose, everything's fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
Okay, that's the end! Told you it was awful. Review please!
