A/N: I kind of wrote this in the spur of the moment. Took me two days. I was in a really depressive, bad mood anyways so this actually kind of helped me get over it. I will work on the other fan fictions now though I promise. Well, I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji.
I Love You, I Left You
-Dagger's POV-
I sat there staring into the almost empty, dark room. A tear drop fell from my eye and rolled slowly down my cheek as I shut them quickly. No-one had ever seen me cry before. In fact no-one had ever seen me with any expression apart from a smile. Thing was no-one was ever going to see me cry. The only person who even had a chance was Joker and he was asleep. His arms around me protectively. I glanced at them before glancing at the bag I packed under the chair. I wanted to leave. I couldn't stand this place any longer. I closed my eyes again before gently pulling Joker's arm's off and got up pulling on a top, coat and some shoes. I picked up the bag, looking back at the redhead who I thought was asleep. The table light turned on and there he was; resting on his elbow, propping himself up with not a very pleased look on his face. "Where you going, Dagg?"
I stared at him for a second, my face plastered with no smile just sadness, confusion and shock. I shook my head and quickly headed for the door. I couldn't face him like this. Not him. Anyone but him. I had never seen him move so quickly when he got up and walked to me grabbing my hand which was resting on the door knob. "I said, where are you going, Dagg?" He said it a little more sternly, there had been times when he'd been like this before but not very often. I stared at the skeleton hand covering mind with a tight grip and a tear fell down. I shut my eyes just wishing it would all go away, it didn't. My lover grabbed my shoulders and turned me around forcefully, slamming me into the door. "Dagger please, where were you going?" He said again, his grip on my shoulders tightening. I shook my head. I would not tell him. No matter what he did to me I wouldn't. No matter how hard he tries to make me stay, I'm leaving.
I could feel his burning gaze on me but I couldn't look him in the eye. I saw his hand move then disappear before it struck me on the cheek then grabbed my chin and made me look at him. My eyes widened and I stared into his angry eyes but there was another hint of emotion in them. Sadness. I closed my eyes quickly, not wanting to be pulled in by them like many times before. I pulled my head from his grip and shoved him away from me. He had done quite enough. I turned and opened the door, shutting it behind me and leaving him there, alone in the room. I continued down the hallway, dragging my bag behind me. Tears were streaming down my face however I did not make a sound. A red hand mark was beginning to show up where Joker had slapped me. It was just like all the other cuts and bruises I had off him, some worse than others. This was just a minor.
I slowly walked past Beast's room. I stopped and turned my head to look at it. Gently I put my hand on it, feeling the indentations and scratches from different things. I gazed at them, memorizing them. Each one of them having their own story. Pictures and Memories played in my head like a movie theatre that had filmed them at the time. A slight smile came on my face. Beast was a woman I had loved for a long time. Until I fell for Joker and we shared a relationship. Then my eyes filled with anger and jealousy, my smile disappeared and more tears fell. I remember the day when I came back from my throwing practise to find Joker and Beast fucking on my bed. Joker had broke my heart, betrayed my friendship and trust and Beast, Beast was a beast. I was never able to look her in the eye ever again.
I turned and started walking, both my fists clenched until I saw Snake by the door, like usual. My fists relaxed and I put on a smile. A fake smile. Inside I felt like I was being eaten up, like someone had thrown a dagger at me and hit me in the heart. Like I was bleeding crimson blood, but I wasn't. Soon after Joker and Beast were a couple under the circus' nose Joker started abusing me. I still kept my smile. I'm sick of it. I don't think he knew I knew of him cheating but I did. It made everyday beside him unbearable to think about. I didn't want to be a circus act anymore. I didn't want to perform and act with this fake happiness. I wanted to be free to go where ever and feel whatever. I walked straight past Snake. He didn't look up from his pet or ask me where I was going. He was a smart guy. He properly knew. Everyone had properly notice my strange behaviour apart from Joker and Beast but I didn't care.
I kept going walking far, far away from the others and the circus. I wanted to find a new way of life. I wandered through the empty streets of the town we were visiting. There was no-one to see, hear or smell for a good long time until I was started to feel I was being followed. I stopped and my head turned gently to look but there was no one. I turned back and began to walk again bumping into a figure in front of me. As I jumped from shock I noticed who it was. Joker had been following me. Was it so hard to leave me alone? The tears that had stopped began to fall again. "L-leave me alone!" I managed to croak it out before running as fast as I could. Down roads, turning endlessly like a maze. I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know where I was buy any place is better than near him. I stopped running as I saw two dark figures in the distance. Who?
One was quite tall the other was shorter. I slowly walked closer, freezing when they walked out of the shadows. Smile and Black? I heard Smile say something but I couldn't quite pick out what it was. Then the was a gunshot and suddenly a sharp pain in my chest. I rested my hand where it hurt, only to feel dampness. I tried to say something but no words came out. It was like a silent cry for help. I gasped as I looked at my hand. It was covered in blood. I guess I really am dying. I smiled, for the first time in months. I was being moved to somewhere else away from this cruel world. Heaven or Hell? I wonder. I fell to the ground my breathing was becoming shorter, more desprate pants. The pain was unbearable but felt better than what Beast and Joker had put me through. I heard the shout of my name from someone. Sounded like Joker.
"Dagger! What the hell did you two do?" he said it with a furious tone, then turned to me and knelt beside me. I didn't want him here when I died. I guess on my final wish, I failed. I never got away from Joker, I died beside him. His hand lay on my chest getting his glove all dirtied with blood. My vision was fading as I whispered something into the air. Whether my ex-lover heard it or not meant nothing. I just felt better that I said it. My vision went dark and my heart stopped beating for the man I had once loved.
-Joker's POV-
I lay my other hand on his cheek. The bones caressed his white, cold skin. Dagger was dead and it was all my fault. His last words replayed in my head like they were stuck on repeat. 'I knew.' Why didn't he say something about me and Beast sooner? I couldn't help it, it just happened. It was all my fault. Guilt seized my heart as I picked up on of his daggers and plunged it through my chest. I would never have been able to live with him. Maybe I could apologize in the afterlife. My heart went through a sort of panic and then completely stopped. My body fell over my beloved ones. Even if he hadn't wanted this, it was the least I could do. We loved one another once and now we will die together and maybe love again.
A/N: R&R. Thank you for reading. If more people want me to continue this, it will be done from the spur of the moment but otherwise properly won't be continued. :)