Title: Orochimaru's Got a Crush on Sasuke
Pairings: Sasunaru. Uh, onesided Orochimaru/Sasuke, I guess.
Warnings: Swearing. Yaoi. That's about it.
Disclaimer: I have no ownership over Naruto - the anime, manga or any of its characters or of any clothing stores mentioned in this fic. If I said please, would you agree not to sue me?
A/N: Please, please, please review. It would mean literally the world to me.
"We're here tonight with Orochimaru of the Sannin, leader of Otogakure. How are you today, Orochimaru?" The announcer said in a pleasant tone, when the applause (and booing) stopped.
Orochimaru grins, sticking out his weirdly long tongue, "I'm very well, thank you."
The announcer smiles that fake announcer smile, "Good, good. So, we wanna know all about you, Orochimaru. Everything from you childhood, to your favourite colour, to your favourite celebrity!"
"Well. I'm here to answer any questions you have for me."
"Let's start off with the basics, shall we?" the announcer says, "What's your favourite colour?"
Orochimaru takes in a deep breath, "Hmmm, good question, Announcer-san. My favourite colour would have to be… Sasuke!"
"You paedophilic freak! I'm not a colour!" Sasuke yelled with an offended look.
"Ah, Sasuke-kun, there you are," Orochimaru licks his lips.
"Fuck off!"
"But you're my favourite, Sasuke-kun…"
The announcer looked amused at their quarrel and did nothing to stop it.
"Not another word about me, you crazy fucker," Sasuke glares at Orochimaru.
"And back to the questions, Orochimaru," the announcer happily says, "What's your favourite fruit?"
"That would have to be tomatoes."
"May we ask why?" the announcer questions.
"Of course, they're my Sasuke-kun's favourite too!"
"God damnit! I'm not yours!" Sasuke was really getting aggravated now.
The announcer look away from Orochimaru with a questioning, "Yes, yes, I see. Okay, next question, Orochimaru - who's your favourite actor?"
"Oh, another easy one. My favourite actor is by far Yuri Lowenthal. His voice reminds me so much of someone else's…"
"You dickhead! I'm gonna kill you!" Sasuke yells at Orochimaru before turning to his boyfriend, "Let go of me Naruto! I'll rip his slimy head off!"
"Calm down, teme. His just trying to get a rise out of you. And it's apparently working," Naruto says patiently (who would've thought it?).
The interview followed the same pattern for the next half an hour before the crew signalled it was time for the show to end. The audience applauded the announcer and booed Orochimaru, but both of them just grinned.
As Orochimaru walked off the stage to join Kabuto, he blew Sasuke a kiss and sent him a wave.
Sasuke just tried to ignore him.
The announcer walked up to a fuming Sasuke and an amused Naruto, "Sasuke, Naruto, nice to see you!"
"Hn."
"He means nice to see you too, Announcer-san."
"Good, good. Sasuke, there's something I should warn you about," he says seriously.
Naruto and Sasuke immediately give him their undivided attention.
"This Orochimaru character. Sasuke, you should stay away from him. I think he has a crush on you," he says, completely seriously, "We wouldn't Naruto to get jealous, would we?"
Naruto had to drag Sasuke out of the studio and distract him with a couple of games (coughsexcough) to prevent him from clawing Announcer-san's eyes out…