Worth It
- life can't suck forever-
Being pregnant has made Quinn moodier than ever. She snaps at everyone and everything, even him. He accidently bumps into her in the crowded hallway when he is heading to class, and she snarls at him, her eyes narrowing.
Being pregnant has made Quinn fatter, but he doesn't mind it. She fills out her tops nicely, but he knows that sometime in the future, she'll need new ones, and where are they going to come from? Where are they going to get the money? Her boobs have climbed a cup size up at least, and despite everything, he can't help but stare at them.
But that's what got them into this mess in the first place, so he just shakes his head and tries to think of non-sexy things, like Mr. Schue naked, or Finn in a cheerleading outfit.
They work, thank god.
Being pregnant has made Quinn glow, somehow. He doesn't quite know how, but whenever he sees her, she looks prettier, every single fucking day. He can't believe how pretty she actually is, even being pregnant. His mom tells him that pregnancy suits some women, and fuck it all, Quinn just has to be one of those statistics that look good carrying his baby.
Maybe that's it.
She's carrying his baby, his damned baby no matter what she wants to say.
That baby will coming out of her with 50% of his genes, no matter how much she wants to deny it.
She is so fat.
Her pants don't even fit her anymore, for god's sake.
A month ago, she would never have used the Lord's name in vain, but this fucking God has gotten her into this mess and hasn't presented any exits, so he can just go and get royally screwed, for all she cares.
She grits her teeth in the ladies toliets, trying to button her pants up. It doesn't work, no matter how hard she pulls and tugs, they just won't button up. And it hurts, the band cuts into her swollen stomach, and it fucking hurts. She can't afford to buy new ones, so she's stuck with these until she get money, from somewhere
Why does she have to be pregnant?
Why does she have to be pregnant with Noah fucking Puckerman's baby?
She lets the pants go, and pulls her loose green top down further. There's only one more period of the day left, hopefully no one will notice that her pants are unbuttoned.
Drying her tears, she unlocks the door and walks out of the bathroom, sniffling slightly.
Honestly, she would prefer absolutely anything over being pregnant right now.
He wants to be there for her and their baby, he really does, but she doesn't let him. Quinn doesn't let him do anything for her, she prefers to lie her ass off, and say that Finn, the dumb ass Finn is the father of his fucking baby. She's even living with Finn now, screw it all.
He might love her, he doesn't know.
Puck doesn't known what love is, he's never seen it before. He knows lust, for sure, but love? What is love? Is it what he's feeling when he looks at Quinn's stomach and knows that his baby girl is growing inside there?
He doesn't know.
He thinks he'll never know.
Glee is her sanctuary now, surprisingly. It is the one place where she can act pregnant, be pregnant without having looks thrown her way. It is the one place where she can hold Finn's hand and not feel guilty that she is lying to him, not feel guilty that she slept with his best friend, and is now pregnant to his best friend.
Quinn's always been the smarter Fabray, but right now, she feels so dumb.
Why the hell did she sleep with Puck?
Is she that stupid to fall for his smiles and his lures, so dumb to believe that he thinks she's beautiful, thinks she's gorgeous? He probably says that to all the women he sleeps with, and being compared to a forty-something-year-old that practically pays him to do her makes her shudder.
She sneaks a glance at Finn, smiling softly. He is the right one for her.
Not Puck.
And then it all blows up in their faces.
That stupid, stupid Rachel Berry goes and spoils it all. But she can't be mad with her, not really. She's done what she wasn't even strong enough to do, she's told Finn the truth. He didn't deserve to be trapped in a lie, the one stupid lie that kept her awake at night, her heart pounding in her chest. Finn didn't deserve to be trapped in a stupid little town, trapped by a woman and her baby, a baby who wasn't even his for god's sake!
But Quinn could never tell him. She didn't want to be alone, didn't want to be one of those women that everyone stares at, nodding at them pathetically. She needed a support, someone to lean on. And she thought that she choose the right person, the right man for the job so to speak, and she had.
But it wasn't fair to him.
Really, it wasn't fair.
Fuck, his nose hurts!
Glaring, he holds the ice package to his nose, sniffling softly. Stupid Finn for learning how to actually punch. Stupid Rachel Berry for telling on them, no matter how much of a hot Jew she was. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
He throws the ice package on the floor, gritting his teeth. Honestly, he is sick of this. Sick of everything, sick of this fucking pregnancy, sick of this life. Why can't everything be like it used to be, back in the days where Finn wouldn't even dare to punch him, they were on top of the school, and Quinn was just some annoying blonde hanging around Finn that he didn't have a single sexual thought towards?
Why does life have to change?
He rubs his eyes tiredly, wincing as his hands brush past his nose. Ouch, stupid Finn.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
She glares at him on the bus, shaking her head softly and returning to her magazine, Britney beside her.
Matt coughs beside him, grinning slyly. "Upset the Mrs there, have you?" he says, chuckling.
Puck glares at him, slapping his arm. "She's not anything to me," he mutters, pointing to his nose, which is still bruised and hurts like hell. "I got this, all because she couldn't face up to the truth. Far as I'm concerned, she's just some chick that I got pregnant by accident."
"That's a bit harsh," Mike says softly, taking his earphones out.
Puck shrugs. "Life's harsh."
And that's the truth.
They are royally screwed now.
She shifts in her chair, groaning softly, throwing the magazine over to Britney. A hand rubs her lower back softly, as she shakes her head. Stupid weight gain. How is she going to dance around that stage, if she can't even sit in this chair properly?
It is just another problem that she'll have to deal with in the coming months. Like the money problems, and the housing issue, and the fact she doesn't have a clue what she is doing. She'll have to find someone to take her spot in Glee when she will become so fat that even a crowbar couldn't lift her. And just like the Cheerios, soon enough she won't be a part of anything.
Life has never seemed so harsh.
Britney smiles at her over the top of the magazine and Santana bobs her head along in time to the music blasting out of her Ipod. Everyone else on the bus is occupied, Berry staring out the window as they get further and further away from Lima.
She misses Finn, misses the comfort, you know?
Sighing, Quinn shakes her head. She'll be fine. They'll be fine. They have to be.
She rests her head on the chair, closing her eyes.
She just wishes Puck hadn't said that. It was his charm and those stupid wine-coolers that got them into this mess in the first place.
But he got be a little bit more sensitive. After all she is the one that is getting fatter by the day and who hardly sleeps because her mind never quiets, the one who everyone stares at, the one who misses her home, misses her old life.
It will never be the same again, will it?
Those stupid freaks, those slimy no-good fucks.
How dare they steal their songs? Fine, yeah, sure, he would have done it if he was in their place, but that doesn't matter. They have nothing, abso-bloody-lutely nothing! The chances of them win are slim to none. They have no routine, no songs that have been practiced and practiced to perfection.
Nothing. Nada. A goose egg.
And really, that feeling of nothing, it blows.
But they get it together.
And everyone looks up and smiles, so happily, when Finn walks in the door. And yeah sure, because he's here, they might have a chance of actually winning this thing. But his nose kills and he looks over at Quinn and sees the puffyness around her eyes, and he knows, that the tension in the room, he's not imagining it.
But he tries to be the bigger man, tries to make up.
Because after all, they are best friends, and a relationship forged in the countless hours playing 'War', throwing mud at girls, running through the streets teorising everyone, well, it can't be forgotten.
At least, not by him.
But as sure as Quinn's pregnancy, Finn has forgotten the fact that they are best friends.
And that hurts, cuts him real deep inside.
But when he looks over at Quinn again, and he sees her smile softly, he knows that all the pain and all the suffering will be worth it. Because he's got something to live for, something to wake up for in the morning. He has to live. It will all work out. Life can't suck forever, you know?
So he steps away and takes a seat next to Quinn, offering her a tissue. She laughs sadly, shaking her head.
It has to work out.
Because I love Puck & Quinn and because I love Glee & because I love unfinished endings. Review? :) If you don't like the swearing, whatever. It's how I wrote them. Okay?