A/N - Hey, guys! So I finally got off my lazy butt and got this written, it took me until 7:00 this morning but it's done! Honestly, I'm not too happy with the way it turned out, but my muse was being difficult so my original idea didn't work out. :( I hope you guys will enjoy it regardless. Expect lots of smirking Morgana, gangsta!Gaius, diva!Elyan, some gansta!Gwaine and MC Leon. :D
It had been a year since Morgana had taken over Camelot, Arthur had spent nearly the entire time developing the kills necessary to defeat her. Though he knew his chances were of regaining his kingdom were slim, he had to try. The ex-king ventured through forests, over hills and over mountains to fight for the land that he loved. When he arrived he was greeted with the sound of thunderous applause that originated from the old sword fighting arena that had often been used for various tournaments. As he approached the stadium, Arthur noticed that it had been transformed into a giant stage with the words 'Albion Idol' scrawled across the top. This horrendous deed was no doubt of Morgana's doing and he was going to put a stop to it. The dethroned ruler pulled up his hood and took a seat in the stands, trying his best to blend in. Then he saw her, Morgana sauntered onto the stage, golden crown atop her smirking head.
"Welcome citizens of Camelot, to the first annual Albion Idol!" The crowd cheered vigorously, Morgana raised her hands to silence them,
"I, queen Morgana, will be your host and judge in today's competition. I will be assisted in my judging duties by our court physician, Gaius, and my maid, Gwen. The contestant who makes it through to the final round will get the pleasure of competing with myself for the crown." The crowd let out a soft 'Ooohhh' before once again being silenced by their queen. "Let the sing off begin!" She announced, then pulled a tiny scroll from her sleeve, "Our first contestant today is Sir Percival!" The crowd went wild, jumping and screaming as the knight made his way onto the stage. He took a quick bow before beginning his performance,
"I'm too sexy for my sleeves, too sexy for my sleeves, check out my buff arms!" The knight flexed his arm muscles as he sang, causing several random people in the crowd to explode from over exposure to buffness. "I'm a knight yeah, you know I mean, and I use my little sword to kill bandits." People cheered loudly as the song ended, throwing mounds of flowers at the towering knight. The three judges quickly discussed his performance amongst themselves before making their comments.
"Percival." Morgana finally spoke. "I'm going to be honest, that was absolutely dreadful." The knight looked a bit hurt at her harsh words but still managed a smile.
"I thought it was lovely!" Piped Gwen from beside the witch.
"Yeah, man." Agreed Gaius. "That was off the chain." Percival managed to make it to the next round with with two yeses from Gwen and Gaius and one no from Morgana. The next contestant was Sir Leon, he made his way to the front of the stage with a disturbing amount of confidence.
"Tell me, Sir Leon," Morgana asked with that ever-present smirk. "Do you think you have what it takes to win this competition?"
"Yeah." Leon replied, flipping back his magnificent curls. "I do actually." The queen raised an eyebrow and motioned for him to get on with his presenation.
"U can't kill me. U can't kill me. U can't kill me. U can't kill me. I-I-I-I'm the head knight, of Camelot. I wear chain mail and wield a sword. I am invincible. Fought immortals, survived the heat. I'm-
"Dude!" Gaius shouted, interrupting Leon's performance. "That was LEGIT! One yes from me, baby!"
"A yes from me." Gwen smiled.
"I'm not going to lie to you, Leon." Morgana sighed. "That was absolutely the worst audition I've ever seen. It's a no from me."
"What?" The knight scoffed. "You're joking."
"I wish I was." The queen sneered.
"You know what?" Leon snarled. "I think you're just jealous of my amazing talent!" Morgana stifled a laugh, was he being serious? "I think," He continued. "That you don't want me in the finals because you know that I'll beat you."
"Alright, that's enough." The witch barked. "Get him out of here!" Two guards dressed in alarmingly pink flamingo suits escorted the arrogant knight from the premises. Merlin was the next participant, he stood trembling before the judges, his hands fidgeting nervously.
"Get on with it." Morgana hissed. Merlin nodded and began his song.
"Well you can tell by the way I'm dressed right now, I'm a serving boy; gotta wash some socks. Polishing and mucking out, I've been kicked around by a dollophead. But it's alright, it's ok. He has gone, gone far away. We can try to understand, the pain inflicted on that man. Whether you've got magic or your life is something tragic, you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Though Camelot is broken not a single word is spoken, we're stayin' alive, stayin' alive." Then out of nowhere, a giant choir appeared behind the warlock singing "Ah, ha, ha, ha." Merlin seemed not to notice and kept right on with his song,
"Stayin' alive, stayin' alive."
The mysterious vocal ensemble added another series of "Ah, ha, ha, ha." Whilst failing about like barbarian pheasants in their neatly pressed choir robes. Merlin ended his performance with one final
"Stayin' aliiiiiiiii-hhhhiiiiiiiiiiii-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvvee!" and the inexplicable choir was no more.
"Wow, Merlin." Gwen gasped. "That was brilliant! Yes from me."
"It a yes here, dog!" Gaius grinned at his ward.
"Merlin." Morgana began. "Can I just say that you were... Incredible. It's a yes from me." The crowd went wild, applauding the warlock with all they had. They were still applauding as the next contestant made his way onto the platform.
"Elyan." Morgana smirked. "Tell us, do you think you have what it takes to win this competition?"
"Oh, I know I do!" Elyan smirked back. "You're looking at the next Albion Idol, baby!" Gwen facepalmed, her brother was such a diva.
"Off you go then."
"I am... Guinevere's brother, I'm a soldier, a knight!" Everyone in the audience began to boo at the knight's obnoxiously squeaky voice, but that didn't stop him. "Rising up to become Albion's Idol!"
"ENOUGH!" Morgana roared. "That was horrendous! Absolute rubbish!"
"Yeah, ditto man." Gaius agreed.
"I'm sorry, Elyan." Gwen grimaced.
"No!" The knight protested as a guard galled him away. "You can't do this to me! I'm the best singer this kingdom's ever seen! The best!"
"Thank god," Morgana sighed. "He was the last contestant."
"No." Came a voice from the audience. "There's one more." All heads turned to see a hooded figure making his way to the platform. Once on the stage he whipped off his hood to reveal his identity. The crowd gasped.
"Ar-Arthur!" Gwen faltered.
"So," Morgana hissed. "Come to take back your precious Camelot have you? We'll see about that!" The two stood on the stage as if it were a battlefield, microphones in hand.
"Morgana oooooh, tonight is your last night, I'm back and I'll be king again tomorrow. You'll be gone, you'll be gone, as if you never were." Morgana glared suspiciously at Arthur as he sang, where did he get such talent from? Was he using magic? No matter though, she could take him on any day.
"Brother you're a fool to confront me, better go away don'tcha dare go provoking me. You're a half wit case, you big disgrace! Swingin' your blade all over the place. Singin' I will, I will rock you! I will, I will rock you!" Arthur wanted to slap that satisfied-looking smirk right off her face, he needed help if he was to beat her and she knew it. Then, out of no where appeared Gwaine and Gaius, both decked out in bling and sporting aviators.
"Don't worry, Arthur." Gaius assured him. "We're here to help you."
"You would dare to defy me?" Morgana gasped.
"Surprise surprise, princess." Gwaine grinned cheekily. Soon the pair was joined by Gwen, Percival, Merlin, and Leon, all come to help Arthur regain his kingdom. Morgana backed away from the advancing ensemble as they sang the night's final ballad.
"Hey stupid witch don't ever come around here. Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear. The fire in your eyes is gone, your spell no longer clear so beat it, just beat it! Just admit you've been defeated! Just beat it!"
"I will be back, Arthur! Mark my words!" Morgana snarled as she disappeared into thin air. Everyone cheered, happy to have their king back and happy to no longer be doomed to the power of song.
The End!
A/N - Hope that was up to everyone's expectations! Leave a review and let me know how many of the songs you were able to guess! :)
I'm Too Sexy - Right Said Fred
U Can't Touch This - MC Hammer
Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees
Eye of the Tiger - Survivor
Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
We Will Rock You - Queen
Beat It - Michel Jackson