Okay, this is a very random and stupid fic where Artemis somehow ends up in Haven and chats with the fairies. Very weird. Quite stupid too. Oh yeah. Foaly sucks out half of Artemis intelligence too, so you can see how Artemis acts when his IQ is average... or below average! There's absolutely NO plot. This story might get some flames but, who cares!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own anything in this fic. Because there's not even a PLOT! But I put myself there, so... I own myself! Haha!
Kind of stupid. I did this to pass the time away... I'm having holidays at the moment and I'm BORED!!!
A Talk in Haven
Chapter One: Greetings
We start with Artemis saying hi. By this time Foaly has sucked out part of his intelligence.
Artemis: Hi.
Holly: ((stares)) Hey! What are we doing here! What are YOU doing here, you stupid mud boy?
Artemis: Saying hi.
Holly: ((groans)) Artemis suddenly turned stupid. Hey, can't anyone speak up?
Trouble: Oh yes. Hi, Fowl.
Artemis: Hi.
Root: Short! Kelp! What are you doing here? What am I doing here? What's - WHAT??? FOWL IS HERE???
Holly: ((sarcastically and dramatically)) Oh yes... Fowl is back!!!
Artemis: Shut up, you pretty elf.
Holly: ((scowls)) I am NOT pretty, mud boy. Shut up and get yourself mind wiped.
Artemis: ((sarcastically)) Oh yeah, I'm going to fly into Foaly's mind-wiping equipment and blank out.
Holly: Yes! You finally got THAT right, Fowl. That's absolutely RIGHT.
Trouble: Has Artemis gone stupid or something?
Holly: DUH. Are you thick, Trouble?
Trouble: Why are you being so mean to me? ((Puppy eyes))
Holly: ((stares pointedly at Artemis)) Because the sight of that mud boy makes me want to puke.
Trouble: ((feeling happier)) Oh. Okay.
Root: Artemis? STUPID??
Artemis: Did you say I was stupid, Commander? For your information, I have the highest tested IQ in Europe you know...
Grub: Really?
Holly: Not really.
Artemis: Hey! Grub! You didn't say hi!
Holly: ((bends down towards Grub)) Told you he's stupid.
Root: FOALY!!! DID YOU USE YOUR NEW SUCKING OUT INTELLIGENCE THINGIE TO SUCK OUT ARTEMIS'S BRAIN POWER?
Foaly: ((pouts)) Well, only half of it!
Artemis: Hey, that weird half-man, half-pony thing looks prreeeeeettttttyyyyyy! Me wanna ride it!
Holly: Foaly... Artemis is going mad...
Foaly: ((ignores Holly)) And now, I, Foaly the super super intelligent centaur, have the power to rule over all of you because I'm SMART!
Artemis: Hey! You didn't say hi!
Holly: ((sigh)) Must everyone greet you, Fowl? You're extremely unpopular you know.
Foaly: And since I have the power to control everyone, I will be Commander in place of Julius!
Artemis: Okay! That sounds like fun...
Holly: Erm, no way.
Trouble: ((meanly)) Look Arty, you're stupid!
Artemis: ((innocently)) But – but listening to the pony is fun!
Foaly: I won't control you, Holly. Since you're my best pal.
Holly: Thank God.
Root: FOALY!!! GO BACK TO THE OPS BOOTH NOW BEFORE YOU FIND MY FOOT CONNECTING WITH YOUR BEHIND!
Foaly: ((stiffly)) Actually, I sucked out three quarters of Artemis's intelligence. So I'm probably the smartest person below Earth! And on Earth.
Holly: ((gasps)) So Fowl is stupid?
Artemis: That sounds fun. So Fowl is stupid. Wait! None of you said hi to me! As you know, this is the Greetings chapter!
Holly: I have no idea why we're in So I guess neutralgal, the creator of this incredibly lame and stupid fanfic, is going to force us to say hi.
Neutralgal: Aw, poor Artemis. But too bad! I made this story! So everyone say hi to stupid Artemis!
All except Artemis:((grudgingly)) Hi Artemis.
Artemis: Now, neutralgal, make me ride on the pony.
Foaly: Nooooooooo... I'm too intelligent to be ridden on!
Artemis: Come on, neutralgal! I wanna ride on the pretty pony!
Neutralgal: Okay, now I know it's bad to make Artemis stupid.
Holly: Obviously it is you stupid!
Grub: Hey, you haven't made me talk for a while. Why are you leaving me out?
Artemis: ((tries to pull Foaly's tail)) neutralgal! Lemme ride on the pony!
Neutralgal: Hey! I didn't make this happen! Foaly, you stupid centaur! How much of Artemis's intelligence did you suck out?
Foaly: ((guiltily)) erm, 3 quarters?
Neutralgal: But – but I wrote that you were supposed to suck out only half!
Foaly: ((cackles evilly)) Too bad! Now Fowl will be stupid – FOREVER!!!
Neutralgal: This is bad...
Root: You stupid Mud Maid, get to work!
Neutralgal: I'm going to end this chapter. Greetings to all of you, by the way. Good luck dealing with Artemis. You never know, I may help...
Everyone except Foaly and Artemis: PUT THIS BACK RIGHT, MUD GIRL!!! WE CAN'T HANDLE A STUPID ARTEMIS!!!
Artemis: Pony!
Foaly: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!
Neutralgal: See you in the next chapter! Goodbye!
That was incredibly stupid. But I've passed the time away! After you read, review! Haha... This is a very very random fic so you can't blame me! Click the Go button! Go, Go, Go!!!