Disclaimer: Characters belong to ABC and I'm not getting any monetary gain from borrowing them.

It's one of those absurd thoughts that occur to you in times like this. Everything was moving so slow. It took him a few seconds to register what that cracking sound was and then he realized it must be his own skull. Who would have thought you could actually hear your skull cracking? He really had expected it to hurt a whole lot more.

And all he could think as he fell to the ground was that he'd take a bullet to the head any day over losing her…

"Natalie?" It took her a moment to pull her way out of sleep far enough that she could figure out who she was talking to.

"Uncle Bo?" she asked. She looked at the clock. 3:45. Weren't you supposed to make a wish when the numbers were all in order like that? AM or PM? It was dark. Had to be AM. Why was Bo calling before four in the morning? Something had to be wrong. "What's wrong?" she asked as soon as the thought came into her mind.

"I'm at the hospital," Bo sounded wide awake. And very serious. Of course he was serious, it was four in the morning and he was calling from the hospital. She shook her head as if it would make her thoughts less sluggish. "I think you need to come down here."

"Who is it?" she asked jumping out of bed and searching for clothes in the darkness. "Is it Mom?" No, it couldn't be her mother; her mother was in the house with her. If something had happened she would have heard the ambulance. She would have known before Bo.

Bo wasn't saying anything. "Who is it, Bo?" she demanded stepping into the pair of jeans she'd worn the day before. "Is it Jess? Dad? Rex? Who is it?"

He was silent for a moment longer. She thought at first he might have lost the connection and then he said softly. "I'll explain everything when you get here."

She hung up the phone wordlessly. And she knew. It wasn't anyone in the family. Her family at least was safe. But if it wasn't anyone in her family and Bo was calling her in the middle of the night it could only be one person. She closed her eyes and whispered a desperate prayer.

When she arrived at the hospital the first familiar face she saw was Michael's. One look at him erased any lingering doubts she might have had. It was definitely John. "Natalie!" he said rushing towards her and throwing his arms around her. She could hear the tears catching in his breath. He clung to her, crushing her so tightly it hurt, but she let him. Clearly he needed this.

It was bad, she thought to herself. Michael didn't act like this; Michael was always there with a sly smile and sarcastic grin. She couldn't recall ever seeing him this broken up. If Michael was near tears that meant it was serious.

"Where is he?" she asked softly when she finally managed to pull back.

"He's still in surgery," Michael explained. So at least he was alive. She was relieved enough to draw in a deep breath—how long had she been holding her breath? Bo was standing beside her all of a sudden though she had no idea when he'd approached.

"What happened?" she asked looking between the two men.

Michael seemed to make an attempt to answer her but couldn't manage. Bo spoke up. "John was found down by the docks about an hour ago. GSW to the head."

To the head. She didn't have to have any medical knowledge to know how bad that was. "But he's alive?"

Bo nodded. "The bullet didn't actually penetrate the skull. He got lucky. But his skull is fractured and there's a lot of bleeding and swelling. They're in there now to try and relieve some of the pressure-"

"Is he going to make it?" she asked feeling a lump start to build in her throat.

"It's too soon to tell," Michael replied looking at the ceiling, the floor, anywhere but at her. He was trying desperately not to let the tears out.

"Do they know who did it?" she asked not sure why it mattered right now, but for some reason it seemed important.

And uneasy look passed between Michael and Bo. "What?" she asked.

Bo put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly. Clearly he was worried about her reaction to whatever he had to tell her. "Honey," he said, "it appears to be self-inflicted."

For a moment she swayed as though she were going to faint, both Bo and Michael reached to catch her. "Natalie?" Bo called, "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said more sharply than she meant to, "let's just worry about John, okay?"

Bo guided her over to a chair in the waiting area and Michael sat down beside her. "I have to make some phone calls. They'll let us know as soon as they know anything."

Natalie nodded mutely. After Bo walked away Michael said softly, "I didn't know whether to call you. I didn't know whether you'd come."

Natalie put an arm around his shoulder, "Michael of course I came. I would have been furious if they didn't call me."

"I just…" he struggled to speak without crying, "it sounds crazy with everything he's been through, but he always seemed so invincible somehow. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to lose him…"

She stroked his hair gently, letting his head rest on her shoulder. It was the only comfort she could provide. She wanted to badly to tell him he wouldn't lose his brother, that John was going to be okay, but she couldn't. Michael knew the medical details better than she did, if he was this worried there was reason to be. Finally she asked, "Michael, where's Marcie?"

"Out town for a book signing," he said, "I haven't called her. I didn't want to wake her up, I…" He took a deep breath trying to maintain some semblance of composure.

"She'd want you to wake her up," Natalie said moving them both so they could look at each other, "she'd want to be here for you."

"I know," he said squeezing his eyes shut, "but to call her I have to say it and I just don't think I can."

"I'll call her," Natalie said. She didn't ask; she just informed that she was going to do it and he didn't protest. "Does your mother know?" she asked.

He shook his head, "I wanted to wait until we knew something. Until he was out of surgery… I don't know how to tell her this."

"Do you want me to call her?" Natalie offered surprised at how calm she was able to keep her voice.

"No," he sighed, "she should hear it from me."

"If it's okay with you," Natalie said, "I'd like to call and see if I can get my grandfather's plane to go pick her up in AC. I know she'll want to get here as soon as she can and she shouldn't have to wait on the train."

"Thank you," Michael said with a slight smile, "I'm sure she'll be grateful. But you don't have to do that."

"Yes I do," she said grimly, "this is all my fault."