This story has many inspirations, but mostly from feelings.
As it was said once: "It's hard not being jaded by the time you're my age." ~Love Hina
Please Read and Review.
Thanks beta XD
The whistle of passing cars and murmuring crowds faded on the deaf ears of the HiME as she shifted through the ashy streets. Dusk was approaching quickly, yet she paid no heed to the oncoming darkness. With each step she took, her mind wheeled in her thoughts.
Nothing was making sense. Her emotions ran in circles between hate, fear, loneliness, and possessiveness. Her heart was ripping apart with the weight of guilt and shame.
Her expression was stoic; her posture was slumped.
She was becoming dull.
Accompanying the darkness was the clouding sky. The forecast called for rain, yet again, but the HiME continued her destination-less walk. Thunder rolled in the distance, signs of the approaching storm. Her weary mind still fought itself, or was it just her imagination?
This way of life wore her out, always having to debate whether or not she could make the right choice. Regardless of the outcome, she knew she would feel alone.
Her eyes hazed over, her body quivering.
She was broken inside.
Like a wall sliding down the dim streets, rain poured over the unconcerned maiden. Her pace was unyielding as she stared off into the distance of her lurid imagination. Everything that she remembered – her past, present, her goals – were they all just a dream?
Like escaping into a tunnel, her mind blackened. Her thoughts became incapacitated, her heart, devitalized. Nothing was there.
Her body trembled, collapsing to the ground.
Was she jaded?
--
Years passed; nothing was like it was. Her fellow HiME all faced their demons, even the ones closest to her, but why was it that she could not leave the past behind? Many times she told herself not to live in the past, but the present.
Her mind never stopped its debate between wrong and right. Nor did her heart yield to love. She felt closed off from the world – alone and lonely.
Yes, the past made her who she was, but was it really her?
Her mind was deluded.
She looked out over the city from her balcony, it was as colorless as it had always been to her. The wind blew, lifting her hair into the air. She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath of the stagnant, musty air of the city.
Still, she felt indifferent.
These long years of hunting for a loving relationship had failed her. Her mind played tricks on her. She thought she was loved, yet she was used instead.
She tried to push forward, knowing life is too short to dwell over anything at all.
She was disenchanted.
The noises that surrounded the city faded on deaf ears; her eyes hazed over once again. The sky was murky and everything became achromatic. Her senses were numb, her aged body stood still. She was no longer nostalgic.
Her mind and emotions became a lacuna of nothingness. She had feelings, but they too, were worthless to her.
She was falling into darkness, never to return. In the end, she would simply not exist anymore.
She was finally jaded; finally set free.
I had no set character in mind when I wrote this. I figured that everyone in Mai-HiME went through enough to make them a void of emotion.
Hope you enjoyed, or not. :/