Ok, a quick one-shot, with probably my favourite couple in the series, Tifa and Vincent. Hope you like. A bit introspective... Tifa's POV

Thanks to my fabulous beta YummyTimelord. She's the best.

oh and usual disclaimers apply. Didn't invent, don't own, just love.

Damaged

My ear is pressed close to the left side of his chest, where I feel it's soft and steady rise and the rhythmic beating of his heart and all I can do is admire him. He's been asleep exactly 2 hours and 12 minutes. The bright LED of the clock tells me it's 01.37. I haven't tried to sleep yet, probably because I know that I won't sleep tonight. I never do when he stays with me during the night. I listen to him breathing, matching my own breathes with his. Its so low, I sometimes have to strain my hearing to be sure that he is still alive. The momentary panic subsides when I hear his steady breathing again.

I used to watch him sleep to see what he was like. I wondered did he ever have nightmares, like a person normally does. He doesn't. He doesn't remember his dreams he tells me and there is never any indication that he does dream. The REM has stopped and started again. I presume that is normal, but you just never know with him. His sleep patterns are strange. He told me once, he only sleeps when he is with me, it's kind of ironic. I don't mind giving up 2 nights sleep a week for him. I'd give up more if he needed me too.

My hand traces the various scars that mark his beautiful body. How many times have I touched them? How many of them have I treated? How many times have I cursed them? For they tell me the story of his life, of the torture he has endured just to be here today.

I like to think that maybe the torture was worth it for the few moments we have together, but I think I know better. We are too damaged to feel that anything we have suffered is worth it. But sometimes, just sometimes, I love those scars. They tell me who he is. He is a hero, he is a fighter and he survived. Sometimes I wonder if I knew him before the scars would we be able to be truly happy, but then I realise that he wouldn't be the person I fell for.

A rush of emotion erupts from my chest in that moment, a feeling I've felt for him before. And I wonder, does he know? I presume he does, even though neither of us has said it. Those words are too hard to say for people like us. People who have been burnt by love, people who have felt the harsh sting of rejection. People who have suffered. Do I know how he feels? I think I do. It is surely the actions that determine whether or not two people are in love? But is it love, or understanding? Those two emotions can, and have been mistaken for one another.

So I try to sort out what my feelings are, I try to imagine my life without him, and I can't. Surely a life without this man is hell? Life is short, especially for people in our line of work. We're lucky to make it through the next couple of hours, let alone the next day. As I think of what he means to me, the more I hate him, for he is my weakness. I was cold and strong and willing to lay down my life for the cause before I met him. But now I know. That although the damage may not be worth it, maybe the pain of our past will prevent us from being a real couple, maybe we will never be truly happy, I have something to live for. It may be broken, damaged beyond all repair but I will fight for it. I will fight with all that I am. All the shards of my broken heart and crushed spirit will fight for him. For what we are, or what we could have been.

So there it is. My first angsty FFVII fic. Hope you like and review if you like (or don't like) the story. Thanks! x