A day as Izzy
Usually my day starts out at about ten or eleven in the morning. Right now I'm in this band called Head Plate, this punk metal band, and I'm the lead singer. We've been together for about five or so years, and I haven't been kicked out…yet. We're kind of a hodge podge. We have a metal bassist, punk rock British guitarist, glam singer, and a grunge drummer. Even though we have all sorts of different styles of playing we somehow manage to rock (or at least I do!). Anyways at ten or eleven I get up, run my fingers through my awesome blonde hair, and go see what's in the fridge. Usually I like to start out with some coffee and cereal, and if I'm lucky I can get to the pop tarts before Axel eats them all. Well this morning I'm in the mood for some cereal so I head to the fridge to get some milk.
Usually I can just grab the milk and go but this morning our idiot guitarist Johnny Napalm is sleeping in front of the fridge! Now Johnny's a good guy, but he has this bad habit of sleeping in odd places (the dressing room floor, under the table, in the band practice room right next to the trap set, do I need to go on!). You see, Johnny spent about ten or so years living on the streets of London before Axel found him so he's kinda used to sleeping on the ground and stuff. Well I'm super hungry and I'm not about to wait for him to wake up so I give him a kick.
Well I kick him in the ribs, hoping he'll get the idea and go to his bunk like a normal person but then I realize that Johnny has a bit of a temper and he's not about to slink away like I hoped. Also I forgot that he's got another weird habit: he fights in his sleep. Just two weeks ago I woke up at around four in the morning in the bus on our way to Seattle when I heard this smashing coming from his bunk. At first I thought Johnny and Judy were having one of their moments so I immediately sprang out of my bunk for front row seats, but it turned out Johnny was having a street fight in his sleep and he was smashing the living hell out of the side of his bunk. Well without even opening his eyes he stands up and starts kicking me in the shins and punching me. When he's done he walks toward my bunk and lies down on the floor. Now if he was awake I'd probably have, like, four broken ribs cause that guys pretty tough! Well I'm not hurt so I just grab my cereal and milk like nothing's happened, and in the case of Head Plate nothings really happened. Trust me, Johnny beats on me all the time in his sleep so I'm used to it.
I eat my cereal and start up the coffee machine when Axel wakes up. He started the band, so technically he's the leader. We used to have a joke that our leader was 'whoever was the most sober' but now a days that would mean Johnny's the leader (he cleaned up a few years ago) and that thought scares the living crap out of me so Axel's in charge. Axel gives me a nod and a 'rock on' sign with his hand and pours him some coffee. He's a good guy. He hardly ever complains (except sometimes he whines about his bass not being loud enough), he doesn't smell too bad, and he's pretty fun to talk to. When we first started the band Axel and I were the 'party boys.' I mean, we were total ladies' men! But Axel got married a few months ago to Casey Lynch (another bassist) so he's settled down a little. We still enjoy an occasional beer backstage though.
Right in the middle of Axel and my conversation about whether Motley Crue is better than Poison Gunner wakes up. Gunner Jaxon is our drummer. He's super quiet, he hardly talks at all, and he looks like a brunette version of Kurt Kobain. Honestly, I don't know much about the guy, even though he's been with us for the past four years. I mean, I try to talk to him but he just ignores me and glues his eyes to his gameboy. Oh well, as long as he ain't complaining or messing with my hair, I could care less. Well Gunner grabs himself a cup of coffee and heads for the shower.
Well twenty minutes later Johnny wakes up. He walks toward the fridge swearing and cussing about this and that like a pissed off teenager…but that's pretty typical of Napalm. He sits down next to Axel and joins in our conversation. I try to search for any signs that he remembers assaulting me this morning, but he doesn't even remember. When I was approached by Axel about joining this new band, he already had picked up Johnny from some dirty alley in East London. I knew that he had a lot of baggage and drama attached to him but I joined anyways. Though I have to put up with his swearing and constant fighting, I don't really mind. Dude, that guy's the best guitarist I've ever met!
The rest of the day is pretty boring, so I'll go ahead and skip to the concert site. Tonight we're performing at this event center in Denver. I'm hanging out backstage, watching roadies set up amps. Axel and I are hanging out, he's drinking a cup of coffee and I'm relaxing with a bottle of water (I need to go easy on my vocal chords before a big gig!). Gunner is texting as usual. After about ten minutes of this I see Johnny walk in with his arm around Judy. Judy and Johnny's 'love child' Violet is tugging at his ankles.
A few years ago Napalm and Judy started a relationship during a tour. Johnny sobered up, Judy got pregnant, and they got married. Their kid is three now, and though I'm not much of a kid person I've gotta admit Violet's pretty cute. Well Violet runs toward me and starts calling me 'Auntie Izzy' which I bet Johnny taught her to say! She jumps in my lap and starts messing with my hair, which reminds me, I seriously need to re tease it! Well she gets board with me after about three minutes or playing with my hair and then she runs to Gunner and tries to sit on his head.
Have I mentioned this yet? Well, I'm a total ladies man, if I do say so myself. I haven't had a solid girlfriend in a month or so (I had to break up with this chick named Crystal because she told me that my hair looked 'gay') and I've been meaning to talk to Judy Nails. I know that she's married, and I have no intentions of stealing her away from Napalm, though I do admit that she's pretty good looking. I just want to ask her if Midori and Pandora are single, they're band members of Judy. I wait till Johnny sneaks away to get his hair spiked before the concert till I talk to Judy. I ask her about Pandora and Midori, she smiles and tells me that Midori is seeing some guy from Japan. But Pandora on the other hand is single, but she warned me that she's hard to get. I can take on a challenge, besides, Gothic girls are my guilty pleasure.
We performed a sound check, Axel is still complaining about how his bass sounds (I think he's just sore that he got stuck playing bass and not guitar), Gunner is rocking out on the drums, and Johnny is playing like a bad ass as usual. And my vocals are pretty damn awesome too, if I do say so myself. An hour later I can hear the fans start filing in. I love my fans. I peek behind the curtain and I hear some girlish screams when I give them a peek at my golden blonde hair. About ten minutes before we go on stage all of us line up. Axel is wearing his classic cut off denim vest with his Metallica shirt. Gunner is wearing the same flannel shirt that he wore to bed last night. Johnny is going shirtless (probably because Judy is watching), and I'm wearing this bad ass tiger print jumpsuit with some feathers and a few skulls for thrills.
When I run on stage the girls start screaming. Then I turn around and realize that Johnny is doing his 'flip-off-the-crowd-and-act-all-tough-act.' Gunner just plops down behind his drum set and Axel does some head banging when he opens the set with his bass solo on our number 1 hit single 'Brain Dead.' I gaze out into the crowd and see some hot girls, signs proclaiming are awesomeness, cigarette lighters and cell phones, oh and did I mention that there's a lot of hot girls out there. Then I start my ear piercing vocals and the girls start throwing their bras on the stage. I've been wanting to do this for some time and tonight I'll finally do it. After the song I pick up a bra and throw it at Napalm then I yell in the microphone 'ladies stop throwing those at me, throw them at Johnny. He likes boobs!' I turn around to see Johnny giving me the send off, and I know that he'll probably kill me for saying that when his wife is backstage but I don't care. I'm a life for the moment guy, and this moment I'm a rock star so I'm gonna rock. And that ladies and gents is how my average day goes.