Hello! This is my first Vampire Diaries story. It will focus on Elena, but Damon's presence/absence will have a colossal impact on her development, though. It will probably be a 3-4 chapters one, depending on my inspiration and your reviews, which are very much appreciated. English is not my mother tongue, so please excuse the eventual mistakes I made. I really hope you like it. Like I said, your reviews will make me extremely happy. Let me know what you thought about it.

I want to thank my best friend, Sabi aka I am unwritten-I am undefined, for reading this and telling me her honest opinion, even if she's not the biggest fan of TVD:)

Disclaimer:I don't own The Vampire Diaries.

Despite everything, I'm still human

Chapter one: Say goodbye

It's Mystic Falls, nothing bad ever happens here. If only she knew back then how wrong she were. And now, when she's lost everything and everyone, is there a chance she'd want to live again? Is there a chance to find herself in the dark? Is there a chance for her to believe in happy endings again?

...

After a long drive, Elena, Damon and Stefan arrived in Mystic Falls. No one said a word during the trip. There were way to many things to process and a lot of guilt felt by the Salvatore brothers. Elena slept for the entire time. When it wasn't their lead to drive, they were both looking at the beautiful woman on the backseat. Damon was mesmerized by her. With her eyes closed and strands of brown and pink hair covering her face, she looked innocent as she once used to be. On the other hand, Stefan looked at her with resignation that she'll never be his anymore. But unlike Damon, he could consider himself a lucky man. At least he had the chance to be with her more than a few days, which from Damon's perspective felt like seconds. And now, the sleeping woman belonged to neither of them. Just like Katherine. It felt like the most painful déjà vu, yet the most precious one.

As soon as they arrived to the boarding house, Damon, from the driver's seat, whispered quietly to Elena: "Wake up, sleeping beauty! We've arrived", he tried to wake her up in his specific tone.

Elena immediately woke up by the sound of his attractive voice and opened the door. Both Stefan and Damon knew she wasn't rushing to get inside of the house. They knew her too well after all this time.

"Where are you going? It's 5 am. Even if you want to feed, there's no one outside at this hour. Think about it, Elena", Damon told her annoyed. He knew he shouldn't bother to take care of her. He knew she wouldn't listen. He knew what she was capable of. She showed them very clearly.

"I don't need your advice, Damon. Just leave me alone", she told him irritated. After all, why does he care so much about me? I'm a monster, Elena admitted for herself. She got off of Stefan's car and almost instantly she disappeared.

"Don't tell me you're going after her. You have to let her go", Stefan advised his brother. And Damon knew he was right. That was one of the rare occasions when he could agree with his youngest brother. But Stefan knew he wasn't going to listen to his words.

"I'm going. Good night, little brother", Damon answered, full of sadness. Full of sadness because he knew that there was no point in arguing with Elena. But he still felt the urge to see her and to stop her from doing something she'll regret later. But will that day ever come? When she'll switch on her humanity. When she'll want to take the cure. When she'll fight for it like it was normal. He knew that he'll do everything to make sure his Elena will be human again. Human and happy.

...

She was running. She didn't know why or where, though. But when she was running, she could escape the avalanche of thoughts in her head. She didn't have feelings anymore, but she could still think like she did before. It almost scared her sometimes. They were not rational thoughts, but they were a part of her long lost humanity. And she wasn't very happy with that.

At one point, she stopped. She didn't want to, but something more powerful than her made her do it. And then she understood. She was right in front of the place she once used to live. In front of her eyes, there was no sight of the old white Victorian house. It was nothing but ashes, pieces of black wooden sticks and fragments of glass. She started walking through the burned remains, blindly, like in a nightmare. She raised a piece of dusty glass from the ground. She started scratching her finger unrecklessly, until a few drops of blood appeared on the surface of her skin. For the first time in weeks she wished she could feel the pain. But she couldn't.

She closed her eyes for a moment. She couldn't stand the view in front of her. She didn't feel depressed or hopeless, but disgusted. Disgusted for what she had done because of her emotions. She should've not burned it down. Where will she go now? I'm a vampire. I can take care of myself. A little compulsion, and everyone will be more than pleased to welcome me in their house, Elena tried to convince herself. And she was right, she should've not been afraid about finding a house to live, but finding a home, that was one thing she couldn't achieve.

Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps not far from where she was standing. Unfortunately, it wasn't a human being as she firstly hoped with dismay. It was in fact a vampire. But what vampire?

"Here you are. I knew you'd be here", Damon told her and got a few steps closer to her.

"I thought you understood that I needed to be alone", she told him rudely.

"Why do you hate me so much, by the way?", Damon asked her, irritated with her repetitive behaviour.

"I don't hate you. I just want to be left alone. God! Why is it so hard for you to understand?", she almost cried of anger. In that moment, her brown eyes became darker, like the sky above them.

Damon came even closer to her and took her hand protectively in his own one. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, holding back a few tears. It hurt like hell to see her like that. Then he took a deep breath and looked at her straight in the eyes.

"Because I promised to never leave you alone, because I love you, Elena! And it breaks my damned dead heart to see you like that", he yelled full of both anger and compassion for the woman in front of him.

She cringed her hand from the squeeze and turned her back at him.

"Look, I'm sorry you still feel like that for me, but you need to stop. I'm no longer sired to you, so I don't love you anymore. I don't even know if I ever did. Live your life, Damon. Elena you knew is gone", she told him without even blinking, with no emotion, with no expression on her pale face. She knew her words would hit him like a knife, but she had to make herself clear that he should move on. She did.

"Then I guess this is goodbye, Elena. If you ever want to live in our house, it's all yours. Stefan and I will be gone until the sun rises", he told her with an unreadable mask. And then he left her in the dark. He promised to take care of her, but in that moment he couldn't. In that moment all he wanted to do was drink some bourbon and leave everything behind. But he knew that alcohol wasn't going to help him. Nothing could help him. So he decided to leave Mystic Falls. Forever.

Left alone, as she wished for, she collapsed on the ground. All she could see were his ocean blue eyes, full of pain. The only part of him that could always be readable, even through his impenetrable mask. Soon, she felt teardrops forming in the corners of her eyes. Why in the world was she crying? She didn't feel anything. But the tears started falling heavy on her burning cheeks. She laid on the ground, overwhelmed by everything. She closed her eyes, thinking that the nonsense crying will stop. Soon, she felt a cold hand clearing the tears from her face. Did Damon come back?, she wondered with hope. But that wasn't Damon's palm and as soon as she opened her eyes all she could do was stare shocked at the person in front of her.

So, who do you think it was? Let me know in your reviews.

Thank you for reading!

Kisses,

-C.