First Snow

There was a stillness in winter that Shelley had always admired. The quiet mornings, the sight of a freshly fallen snow blanketing the hills of West Virginia, the bubbling anticipation of the holiday season to come, all made Shelley's mood brighten a little, a light dance in her step as she made her way around the house, humming Christmas carols to herself.

This year would have been as peaceful as it ever was, if they hadn't had a certain guest living with them.

The decision to keep Edgar had been an interesting one, and not one Shelley could admit was entirely consensual. The boy was nice enough, if not a little shy and awkward, but he had only been living with them for all but six weeks, and who knew how much interaction he had had with humans before, by the way he behaved. Meredith had taught him a few words and phrases, but he was unquestionably difficult to communicate with, always preferring to observe and listen then try to initiate speech himself. Shelley especially had difficulty understanding him. Still, he seemed to like her the best, after Meredith of course, and as long as he behaved himself, Shelley found his naivety and innocence endearing, if not occasionally entertaining.

"Shelley!"he had shouted a week before Christmas, appearing at her door wide-eyed and panicked, "Cloud! Fall!"

Shelley had needed a moment to adjust to the shock of seeing Edgar standing in her room before she could even begin to try and figure out what he was talking about.

"Uh….what?"she asked slowly.

"Sky! Cloud! Fall!"he said, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet as he pointed frantically in the opposite direction, toward the staircase. Shelley couldn't help but stare, completely lost.

"The clouds are…falling?"she asked quizzically, "Edgar, are you sure it's not just the wind you're talking about? Clouds can move, you know." He shook his head, pointing insistently again in the direction of the staircase.

"No – fall! Cloud! Fall!" This was not unusual for Edgar to overreact and panic over the small abnormalities of the human world. Nevertheless, he looked so frazzled, so needlessly terrified, Shelley felt obligated to follow him downstairs and let him show her what he was so upset about so that she could attempt to reassure him that the sky was not, in fact, falling. She had to stifle a laugh when she realized what it was that had frightened him.

"Edgar, these aren't clouds, this is snow. Can you say that? S-n-o-w. It's frozen water that falls from the sky when it's cold. When it lands, you can pick it up and play with it. The sky isn't falling. Snow is completely safe." Edgar didn't look completely convinced.

"Snow…hurt?"

"No, of course not, it – oh let me just show you." They were both still in their pajamas, but Shelley knew he wouldn't let her be until he was sure they were safe from the "falling sky." She found her parka easily enough in the closet and quickly stuffed her feet into the first snow boots she could find. Her legs would just have to be cold. Besides, she wasn't planning on staying out for very long.

"Here, put this on,"she instructed him, throwing him her father's oversized hunting jacket. He caught it clumsily, dropping it on instinct and scrambling to pick it up again. Shelley glanced over at him as she put on her own, watching him attempt to put it on by himself with great effort. Meredith had only recently got him to dress himself, and he still struggled with buttons and zippers, but strangely enough he didn't ask for help, determined to do it by himself.

"Dad already left for work, so you get my old ones,"she called, throwing a second pair of snow boots to him. They were pink with white pom poms dangling from the laces, but Shelley didn't think he would care. He'd look ridiculous, but at least he wouldn't freeze to death. Besides, she doubted Edgar grew up hearing his bat friends telling him that pink was only for girls.

"Come on,"she urged when he had finally, with great difficulty, gotten the boots on, "I'll show you." She opened the door and breathed in the crisp, cool air, burning pleasantly in her lungs. The snow was freshly fallen, only half a foot deep, but it covered everything. The driveway was the only indication that there had been any kind of human presence, and even then, the tire tracks where her father had pulled out of the driveway to go to work had nearly been covered over with a fresh layer.

"See? When the snow lands on my hand, it melts into water." She caught a snowflake in her hand and held it out for him to see. He looked curiously at the moisture in her hand, then looked suspiciously up at the sky.

"Look, just hold out your hand like – yeah, there you go, see? It's just cold water. You can even drink it if you want to. Just don't eat snow that isn't white!" Edgar tentatively – very tentatively - stepped out onto the porch as Shelley had done, his face turned warily upward toward the sky, watching the flakes float to the ground.

"The snow's late this year, it usually comes much earlier,"she remarked, then catching the perplexed look on his face, added, "It usually starts snowing before winter even starts, but this year it didn't start until mid-December. Better late than never, I guess." Edgar didn't quite look like he understood.

"Snow…always?"

"No, it's just a thing that happens when it's really cold,"she said, hoping she had understood his question, "The snow will melt when it gets warmer and then everything will be back to normal." The snow continued to fall, and Edgar seemed almost translucent in it, impossibly pale, sun-deprived skin camaflouged in the whiteness. Shelley watched him take it all in for a moment, breathe in the smell of winter for perhaps the first time in his life and know the peace of watching a first snowfall as it blanketed the world in fresh white. She wondered inwardly if he had ever associated winter with anything other than a brutal, biting cold to survive and wait out. Had he ever experienced Christmas? New Year's? Had he ever had a snowball fight or gone sledding or known the warmth of a fire or a family's love?

"Hey…Edgar?"she asked, feeling a little guilty breaking him away from such an awe-inspired moment, "What did you do? I mean…during this time of year. Did you know what holidays even were or did you just….not know? Did you ever play in the snow or anything like that?" Her cheeks flushed pink, hoping her questions weren't too invasive, or at least that they were understandable. But, as usual, Edgar seemed to understand more than he let on.

"Cold."

"Yeah. It would have been cold, especially in a cave that deep where there's no sunlight. Rick said he had to use all his slackline to make it down to the place they found you." He shook his head.

"Only cold,"he gently corrected her.

"…That's all winter was to you? Just cold? You just spent the whole winter trying to stay warm in your cave?" He nodded, and it took all of Shelley's self-control not to give him a pitying look.

"That's…kind of sad,"she couldn't help saying. He shrugged with a small, reassuring smile.

"Not sad." Shelley nodded to feign agreement, though she still looked unsure.

"What … 'playing in snow'?" Shelley blinked slowly.

"Um, it's when you, uh…Have you ever built a snowman or had a snowball fight with your friends, or…?" She realized as she was speaking how ridiculous she sounded. Of course Edgar hadn't played in the snow. What friends had he to play with? She didn't need to see his perplexed expression to know that for herself.

"Here,"she said, bending down to scoop a small amount of snow into her bare hands, fingers tingling with the cold as she quickly made a single snowball to place in his hand, "Throw this at me." Edgar looked aghast at her, eyes wide and confused as he immediately shook his head no.

"It's okay, it's called a snowball fight. You throw snowballs at each other and chase each other around. If you have enough people you can make forts and have teams. It's something that kids do all the time this time of year." Edgar shook his head indignantly.

"Hurt,"he insisted.

"It doesn't hurt, I promise. I used to do it all the time when I was a kid. Just throw it, I'll be fine." He shook his head once more.

"Shelley friend." It took Shelley a moment to recover from the shock of knowing that Edgar considered her his friend, and another to realize how immensely happy that made her, and then a third to wonder why that was. When she had finally come out of that train of thought, though, she had to laugh, flattered, if not amused.

"I'm glad we're friends, but you don't need to worry about hurting me. We don't throw them to hurt each other, we just throw them because it's funny. This is what kids do with their friends – they chase each other around throwing snowballs at each other to show them that they're their friends and they want to have fun with them. They wouldn't throw them if it was going to hurt. Look, snow is soft." Edgar looked unsurely at the snowball Shelley placed in his gloved hand, reconsidering it. Shelley was already making extra snowballs and laying them down between their feet.

"Heads up!"she shouted once before a well-aimed snowball exploded on the sleeve of his jacket. He jumped as it whizzed toward him, staring wonderingly at the dusty residue it had left on the sleeve.

"No hurt?"he said questioningly, looking up at her with a slow smile.

"No hurt!"she echoed with a grin, "See, you're fine! I told you it was okay! Come on, try it!" His throw was as awkward and uncoordinated as he was, but on the third try he finally made a snowball make contact with Shelley's left shoulder.

"Alright, you did it! Now, keep them coming. Remember the numbers to count to ten?" A beat of unsurety, then Edgar nodded.

"Kay, so every time you hit me is a point, so just keep adding by one every time you hit me, and that'll be your score. The first person to get to ten wins the snowball fight." Despite Edgar's nod of understanding, he looked unsure of himself, however unwilling he was to admit it in front of her that he didn't actually understand what "points" were. She called start though and Edgar was forced to figure it out on the way. He didn't really understand the concept of chasing, but halfway through he vaguely understood that this game expected a lot of running toward and away from people for no apparent reason. Shelley tried her best to go as easy on him as possible, but it wasn't long before she had hit her ten snowballs and Edgar had only three.

"That was ten! I win!"she called out, her cheeks pink as she shuffled through the snow back over to him, "Do you get it? It looked like you did anyway, you were really getting the hang of it there! Maybe some day we can invite everyone in the neighborhood over for a real snowball fight. Wouldn't that be fun?"

"What…'fun'?"

"Fun? Fun is like what we just did. It's being goofy and enjoying yourself for no reason. It's being happy." She stopped as she looked at him, at this boy who had no concept of "fun," of joy without purpose, of being a kid or of playing games. He had lived only to survive and adapt, and Shelley suddenly realized this may as well be the first time Edgar had ever had fun in his life.

"Happy…fun?" A blank stare was her only response. Edgar thought a moment of how to better word his question.

"Fun…same…as happy?"

"Oh. Um no, they're not necessarily the same. You're always happy when you're having fun, but you don't have to be having fun to be happy. You can be happy anytime, when you're doing something you like or when you're with people you really love, even if you're not necessarily doing anything particularly fun together. Does that make sense?" She was confusing him, she was sure of it, but she was surprised when she saw him nod after a moment of thought and gesture to himself.

"Happy,"he said simply, and Shelley couldn't help but stare at him, awed, if not touched by the gesture, wondering inwardly if he had read her mind, if he had somehow sensed her pity.

"I-I'm glad you're happy,"she said with a soft laugh to circumvent the slight color rising in her cheeks, "You are having fun too, though, right? I'm not boring you? Do you like playing in the snow?" At this, Edgar's face lit up, his enthusiastic nod making Shelley laugh in spite of herself.

"Fun!"he echoed with a big smile.

"Heh. Yeah, this was fun. Well, if nothing else, I'm glad I was able to teach you a new word. Why don't we head back inside where it's warm? Mom should probably be up by now." Edgar nodded, following her back to the porch where Shelley helped him disassemble his borrowed winter gear, looking a little dazed and distracted as she did so, though Edgar didn't have the words yet to ask her what was wrong. Luckily, he didn't have to wonder for very long.

"Hey, Edgar?"she asked as she placed the hunting jacket carefully back in the closet next to hers, white flakes of snow still clinging to the sleeves, "There's a lot of other fun things you can do this time of year other than snowball fights. Maybe…I can show you some time?"

"With Shelley?"he asked, and Shelley had to stop and wonder why her stomach flip-flopped when she saw his face light up with such hopeful excitement.

"Y-yeah, with me. We can have fun together." His smile only brightened at this, and Shelley had to steel herself at the thought of Edgar being this excited to spend time with her. But yet he was, and she realized in surprise that she was excited to spend more time with him, too, if not to see his face light up with wonder at the newness of the world as only he could see it. If nothing else, though, she genuinely wanted him to enjoy this holiday season. She wanted to share this part of the human world with him; let him see what it meant to be a child again.

"Okay, well, maybe I'll ask Mom if she can end your lesson early today before it gets dark so we can go back out in the snow for a while. I can, I don't know, teach you how to build a snowman or something." She was sure he didn't know what a snowman was, but he smiled and nodded none the less, and that smile seemed to fill Shelley with a yearning for the coming season she hadn't felt since she was little. It was going to be nice to spend the holidays through his eyes, she realized. She studied him for a moment perhaps longer than necessary, caught off guard by the realization that his innocence and naivety, only an hour ago so annoying, suddenly was charming and endearing.

"Hey,"she started, sheepishly moving toward the couch where the blanket she had left the night before was untidily folded on the arm of the chair, "Um. Look, I'm sure wherever you came from was great, but here there's a lot more to this time of year than just trying to not be cold, and I think you'd really enjoy yourself if you wanted to be a part of it. Until those moments come, though, just….say warm, okay? At the very least, you should at least have a winter where you're not freezing to death while you're here." She handed the blanket to him, feeling shy as he gingerly accepted it.

"I'm going to go get dressed,"she said before he could say anything to voice his thanks, "Don't freeze today, okay?" She waited for him to nod in understanding before turning and heading back toward the staircase. She paused halfway up the stairs to turn back, regarding him wonderingly for a moment, the fluffy pink blanket already wrapped snugly around his shoulders, his countenance unabashedly glowing as he stood there, reveling in its warmth after the cold he had just come from. He looked silly, but Shelley didn't think he cared. She had a feeling wearing Shelley's ill-fitting hand-me-downs was going to pale in comparison to all of Edgar's many "firsts" this holiday season.