Have you ever had a moment when you knew you were making a mistake? I have. I felt it as soon as Daniele looked at me. Even through the tears in my eyes and hers I could see the pain. I could tell that inside she was screaming horrible things at me begging me to stay and not to leave her to survive this hell on her own. I couldnt take it and I had to snap my head away. Knowing how much I was hurting her killed me. I couldnt bare to hurt her more than I already have. She was my blood and the only person who knew me better than I did. This is the worst part, I lied to myself, walking away from them is the worst part.
" Flight 189 to Montgomery Alabama is now boarding for departcher." It was like a death sentence belted over the intercome of the Los Angeles Airport. I loved it in California, the sun, beaches, tans and all the people I was leaving behind. I was going to miss it all to move to the rainiest place in the United States, Mobile, Alabama. Mobile was right on the bottom of Alabama and was the dump that I would live in but never call home. I colsed my eyes took a deep breath and got ready to say goodbye to the only people in the world that I ever wanted to call family. My mom finally grabbed me and had me in a tight hug before I could relize what she was doing. Despite my reasons for leaving I didnt want her to let go. When she hugged me it felt like things were like they used to be.A year ago when things weren't so complicated.When we were happy.
" Please, baby girl. You dont have to do this." she manged to say through the constant sobs. " Please." That last word cut me deep. I wanted so bad to look at her and tell her how I wanted to go home. But I knew that it was my turn to sacrifice and I was ready. I couldnt speak, or breathe. I was sobbing like a small child. She let go and I gasped for air. But it wasnt a second later that Jessica, my older sister, had me locked into a hug.
"I love you, I wish I knew what to say to make you stay." she wishpered as if it were a secret.
" I wish I knew myself, I love you more than you know." I tryed to keep the low tone but failed. She let go of me and kissed my forehead, with warm tears gently falling down her face. Jess has always had a soft face with soft blonde hair, but today she was no longer soft she looked miserable. I looked away quickly, this isn't how I want to remember her. My younger brother, Nick, grabbed me next. He said nothing but the grip he had on me said so much. I felt the warm tears from his eyes soak into my t-shirt. When he let go I knew I had to prepare myself for the worst hurt. Daniele, my younger sister by exactly 11 months grabbed me.
" What am I going to do without you?" She said camly, but something in her voice told me that wouldnt last.
" Live, be happy." I sniffled knowing I was ready to burst.
" Yeah, I dont see that happening, I miss you so much already and your right here. Aubrey please stay," her grip tightened." Please, your my best friend."
" I can't, I wish I could, but I cant. I have to keep you safe, even if that means leaving." I spoke softly. She shook her head.
" I love you." and with that she let go. I felt my heart rip out when her grip left my body. I looked at them all, all sobbing and all broken. It was all my fault.
" Emily." a voice muttered, one I despised." We got to get to the house and let my parnets in. So could you..."
" Oh, Okay Phillip, just a second." my mom finally said. I rolled my eyes. He couldn't even let them say goodbye. Phillip was my mom's new husband and one of my reasons for leaving.Finally they each took turns kissing me and then I watched as the only people in the world I wanted to call family walked away. It felt like I stood there forever, soaking in my misery and pain. Lane and I were the only ones left.
Lane was my boyfriend of two years. To my surprise he stood silent with me. Usually he wanted to talk about everything, never a dull moment. He wrapped his arms around me. I loved him. I loved how he made me felt. Everything about him was gorgous, his brown hair, blue eyes, chizzled face and body, and his heart. He was caring and understanding, always there when I need to talk or cry. Latley I did more crying than talking and he seemed okay with that.
" Eveything is going to be okay, I promise." he broke the silence.
" I want to believe that. " I said no longer crying.
" But..."
" But, I dont. I dont trust any of this." He just smiled. He was a firm believer in things getting better, I wasn't.
" Last call for flight 189." I sighed, this was it. He kissed me, hard, like it was the last time we would ever kiss, like he didnt believe himself.
" See you soon." he said.
" Bye."
" Never." I smiled and we let go of each other. He walked in the same direction as my family had.This time the pain was milder but still there. I picked up my carry-on and walked to the plane.
" Hello miss." I handed my flight ticket to a large kind looking women. " Is this trip business or pleasure?" She asked handing it back.
" Neither," she looked curious." More like persicution." I walked onto the plane not looking to see her expression.
" Aubery!" yelled a fimilar voice as I steped off the plane. It was my father, Jon. He was walling his arms around as if I wasnt going to recognize him. Jon and I have only known each other since I was ten. Now I was sixteen and sentencing myself to live with him. He and I have always got along but were never close. I figured living with him was better than being on the streets, but I could see how happy he was so I pushed out a smile when I saw him and even managed a hug.
" Hey dad." I said when he released me.
" You look exahusted. Lets get you home."
As much as I hated it this would be were I was to live but it would never be my home as it was his. I knew I would never tell him the way I really felt, I hurt enough people this lifetime and didnt want to add him to the list. He took my carry-on bag and we walked to the bag retrival area. I only had one bag containing the little "wet weather" clothes my mom and I could scrap together, and my essentials. He grabbed it and we silently walked to his car. It was a two hour drive from Montgomery to Mobile. We talked about the weather and his new job promotion. Jon was a police officer of the small town and now he was sherriff, which was a good for me because that meant his schedule was changing. Now he would be working most weekends.
" Oh, I almost forgot, I got you a little welcoming present." He said casually when we were a few minutes from the house. I have only been here a few times but I knew how close I was to a room alone where I could collect my thoughts.
" Really you shouldn't have done that."
" I wanted to and its something that will help us both out especially with your school schedule and my work schedule."
" What do you mean?"
Just then we pulled up to the house and there parked in the driveway was a decent looking older black Mustang with a bright red bow.
" Welcome home." he said pulling next to it. I wasn't sure what to say.
" Thank you so much dad. But I told you on the phone last week I would get a car, well nothing like this but a car none the less."
" Well dont thank me yet, its kind of old. It used to be mine. But I grew out of it and now I have the crusier. But Ive been working on it all week and it runs, not well but enough to get you around. I figured you could buy new parts and fix it up when you got your job." With that he rolled his eyes. Jon didnt exactly like the fact that I wanted a job. He said that I didnt have to work until I was done with college if thats what I wanted.
" Thanks dad."
He got my bags out of the trunk of his crusier and we walked to the front door. He unlocked it and gestured for me to go first. The house was big enough for two people to have there space. It was a two story house with a small kitchen, attached dinning room, living room and small powder room downstairs. Upstairs was two bedrooms and one bathroom. I didnt like that I had to share a bathroom with my dad but I was going to make the best of it. You could tell he lived here alone because the house was poorly decorated. The last girlfriend Jon had didnt last long enough to move in and for now he was single. I walked to my bedroom, Jon following with my bags.
When I entered my room I flopped onto the bed. In my room there was a fairly new computer, desk and chair, a dresser, bed, two night stands and a window seat. It was the only "decorated" room in the house. Last time I was visiting Jon took me to Montgomery and we bought tons of stuff for my room so I could be comfortable when I visited. Little did we know the next "visit" would be permenant. He looked at me closely after setting the bag in the floor.
"Do you want to talk?" he said looking uncomfortable. Jon, like me, wasnt a openly emotional person. Thankfully he wasnt pushy and liked his space so I knew he really didnt want to talk. Honestly neither did I.
" No dad Im fine. Its just hard leaving everyone behind. But Im so happy to be here." I lied.
" Okay, I leave you to get settled. Im going to order pizza. Veggie delight, right?" I shook my head. I loved that he accepted my vegetarianism so easily. My mom had always made comments mostly fueled by Phillip.
" Yeah, thanks dad. For everything. I mean... I know you didnt have to take me in. So... thanks. I love you." And that wasnt a lie.
" Im your dad. I did have to, it was nothing. I couldnt be happier, kid. I love you so much." He hugged me and disappeared down the stairs. When I was sure he was all the way down I shut the door. As soon as I let go of the knob I felt a hole. A hole in my heart, deep, dark and painful. I felt like it was ripping me apart. I threw my arms around my body to stay together. All I saw was my family's faces, crying and depressed, it was all my fault and the guilt was going to slowly kill me. I knew it would. I collapsed to the floor, still holding myself together. Tears poured out of my eyes. I couldn't breathe. Gasping, I heard a knock at the door.
" Aubrey, baby are you okay? Do you need me?" Jon sounded concered.
" NO, go away." I yelled not caring about his feelings. I heard his footsteps trot down the stairs. Finally I got a hold of myself and I unpacked putting everything I owned including pictures that Daniele approved me displaying. She wasnt photogenic in her eyes but it was the complete opposite in everyone else's she looked like a model 99.9 of the time. Suddenly I heard the door bell ring. I knew it was the pizza guy so hurried to the bathroom cleaned up and headed down the stairs. I was suprisingly starving.
We ate in silence and it was nice. Usually dinner was family discusion time at home or what I called it listen-to-phillip-brag time. When we were finished I took up the plates and put them in the sink.
" Aubrey?"
" Yeah, dad?"I could hear in his voice he wanted to talk.
" Are you excited for your first day of school tomorrow?" he said changing his mind on topics.Yuck dont remind me, school was the last place I wanted to go.
" I guess, I mean its school. Nothing to really be pumped for, right?"
" I suppose. Well everything is ready for you. All you have to do is go to the front office and ask Mrs.Rawlings, the front office attendent for your schedule, and maybe a map. Its not a big school I mean what three hundred and ninety-two now ninety-three students, but when they gave me the tour I was so lost."
I snorted. Three hundred and ninety-three students? It was terrible in my old school there was almost four thosand.
" Okay." I said taking my seat back at the table. " Sounds easy enough."
" Aub, can I ask you something without you getting mad?" I hesitated.
" Um... Sure."
" Are you going out for the soccer team? They could really use someone with talent on the team."
" I wasn't planning on it." Last season I promised the girls on my team that I wouldnt play for this school. Mostly because it was a better excuse than the real reason. I would hate to admitt to Brandon that I wanted as little to do with the people and school here as I could.
" Well everyone knows how good you are. Little town, news travels fast."
Great. Thats all I need. Everyone expecting me to do something that envolved being a part of these people.
" Oh, well Im not sure maybe when the season starts Ill reconsider."
" Great." He said with a smile and he rose from the table. It was now nine o'clock and Jon has to get up a five AM so I knew where he was going.
" Night sweetie. See you tomorrow, I want to hear all about your first day."
" Okay dad. Love ya."
" Love you too."
He climbed up the stairs and I sat at the table. Finally I got up and cleaned the kitchen. When I was done around nine-thirty I went up stairs and finished putting everything away trying to be a quite as possible. I was done around ten-forty and retired to bed. It was raining outside and hard for me to fall asleep, but when I did fall asleep I slept the whole night through until my alarm went off at six AM.
Looking out my window it looked like it was around two in the morning if that because of the fog and rain mixture. I opened my door and saw from across the hall that Jon was already gone. I went to the bathroom took a quick shower, brushed my teeth, blow dryed and straightened my hair, put on deodrant and make-up and finally went to my room to get dressed. I threw on a pair of ripped holey jeans a DC SHOES t-shirt, my gray Famous hooded jacket and than my puma black and white running shoes. I grabbed my bag, iPOD and phone and headed down stairs. On the fridge was a note from Jon.
Good luck sweetie hope it all goes well. Dont forget to eat before you go.
Love, Dad.
I stuck the note into my bag snatched a banana from the fruit bowl on the counter, threw the slash strapped bag on and headed for the door. I grabbed the keys from my bag and locked the door. When I got to the car I roared it life it was loud but it was nice inside and had working radio and air, more than I expected. I flicked the radio to a rock station and turned it up. School started at seven-thirty and I wanted to be early so I could find my classes so I headed therea little early. On the way I ate, obeying my note.
The school was easy to find. It had a big sign right off the town's main road that said Mobile High School: Home of the Bears. I turned into the lot marked student parking and cut the engine. There were a few cars in the parking lot in as beat up shape as mine so I felt better. I got out grabbed all my stuff and headed to the first builiding in my view. It was marked Front Office: 112. The school before me didnt look much of a school but more like a neighborhood of tons of little buildings. I almost regretted laughing when Jon told me
he had gotten lost.
I walked into the front office and was greeted by the heater across my chilly face. It felt so good. The office was nice and homely. It had degrees and pictures scattered on the walls with plants and chairs lined up across the wall. There was a long counter with tons of wire baskets filled with papers and flyers adjacent to the chairs. On the otherside of the counter there were two desks with women sitting at them. Quietly you could hear the sound of Mozart playing from a boom box on one of the desks. Behind the desks were two doors, one labeled Nurse and the other was marked Bathroom. I stood still and examined the room. Suddenly I heard a quite mouse like voice.
" Hello, can I help you today?" said one of the women behind the counter. She was a large redheaded women. She was wearing a very loud purple sweater set and black slacks. Her voice defintley did not match her apperance, but none the less she seemed kind and timid.
" Yes," I finally belted out louder than I wanted or expected to. " Im looking for Mrs. Rawlings. Im new here and..." Just than she cut me off.
" Ah, you must be Aubrey. Im Mrs.Rawlings. Welcome to our school."
" Thank you. Not many new students, huh?"
" Oh no. Your the only one so far this year." I think she expected my sour expression. " But don't worry your pretty little head off. Im sure your fit right in." She continued without missing a beat. Giving me instructions to give my schedule to all my teachers make sure they sign it and bring it back to her at the end of the day.
" Great, thank you. See you this afternoon."
" Good luck, honey." she said smiling the sweetest smile.
I only had four classes this semester and four next. I was so happy when I saw I had English both semesters. I loved English, it was the conforting. This semster I had English 3A with Mr. Homesly, Chem. lab with Mrs. Jenkins, Art 1 with Mrs. Benard and finally Gym 3 with Coach Dellinger. It wasnt a bad schedule, but I was sad to know that each class was nintey minutes long and lunch, during third block ,which was at the same time as everyone in the entire school, was one hour. I liked also that we could leave campus for lunch but if not back in time for forth with out a excuse could be after school detention. English class was easy to find. It was room 202 and in the front of the 200 wing. I was super early for class which was good for me. I had no embarrassing entrence this class.
" Hi." a unfamiliar voice said. " You must be Aubrey Parke, Im Mr. Homesly." When I turned around I felt my face turn hot red. He was gorgeous. Dark shaggy hair, chin scruff and lose-yourself-in-me eyes. He held his hand out and I stubbled making my way to shake it.
" Hi, yeah I am but you can just call me Aubrey."
" Okay... You know class doesnt start for 10 minutes, right?"
" Yeah I just didnt want to get lost, first day and all."
" I see. Well I hope you enjoy my class. Its not bad if you like English." he smiled with a perfect set of pearly whites. I smiled back, sure that mine wasnt as amazing.
" Actually I do love English. I want to be a novel writer."
" Really? Thats great have you wrote anything yet?"
" Yeah some short stories. But nothing to brag about, mostly amature."
" Well I look forward to your reading the stories you can come up with in here." I smiled and pulled out my schedule for him to sign. He signed it and looked down at his seating chart.
" Huh, all I have avaible is the last seat in the third row. Sorry."
" It fine." I grabbed my schedule and took my seat. The bell finally rang and the student came rushing in. First mostly girls who seemed to noticed how cute Mr.Homesly was as much as I did. When the final bell rang Mr. Homesly started with role call. I kept my head down knowing I would be counted as here even if I missed my name. "...Aubrey Parke is here...Mr..." he said. When my name was said I felt at least twnety eyes on me. When I looked up I only caught the eyes of one. He was a handsome boy my age, dark hair almost black, fair perfect skin, strong bone structure and unusal curious eyes. He turned his glare so quickly I couldnt make out the color. With his back turned I examined his body, slim yet muscular. He looked like a model. All eyes were on me looking at him. Role call was now over.
" As you all know," Mr. Homesly started and I turned my attnetion to him." We have a new addition to our school." Oh no, no, no, no, no. " Miss Aubrey. Why dont you come up here and tell us something about yourslef." I could feel my face burning again. I stood from my feet and walked to the top of the class room. Now instead of twnety eyes I could feel about thirty. I took a deep breathe looked around the room again catching the eye of the mysterious boy but this time I looked away quickly.
" Okay, Im Aubrey. I lived in Los Angeles, California and now I live here with my dad the sherriff Jon Parke. Um... Im sixteen and I want to be a writer after I leave school."
"Awesome, class do you have any questions for Miss Parke?" Good lord man. Questions? These people dont really need to know me. Geez. I guess I looked angry because only three hands went up. One was a tall skinny quite geeky looking boy, the other was a athletic girl that resembled a small boy and finally was the mystrious one.Now I could tell his eyes were black. He pointed to the she-boy first.
" Yes, Ms. Mabel."
" Yeah I wanted to know if your planning on going out for the soccor team?" Her voice was loud and country accented.
" Umm...," I wasnt sure what to say. I didnt want to be on the team, but I didnt want to say no since they all seemed to know about my "talents" as Jon called them." I was planning on taking this season off and focus on getting used to my new life. So Im not sure yet."
" Okay," Mr. Homesly said and with that he pointed to the geeky looking boy." Mr. Keen."
" Oh, thanks Mr.Homesly," nailed it. He must be the geek of the class his voice matched his look almost too perfectly. " I wanted to know what your favorite a TV show is." And his question matched too. The class giggled and I tried to as well through the embarrassed stale expression I was holding.
" Right now? I would have to say It always sunny in Phildephia. It so funny."
" Cool" Mr. Keen answered.
" Alright last we have Mr. Schaffer," finally."Than we can let Aubrey sit down."
" Okay," his voice was hard as stone and yet soft and musical. I didnt think a voice like that existed, which made it all the more perfect. he contiuned, " I wanted to know why you came here?" Great. Why was this question so hard. Why did you come here, lie. I told myself.
" Its complicated." Why didnt I lie and say I wanted to. Why?
" Really? Whats so complicated about a move." he said harshly. What is his issue?
" Its personal.", I glared at him and then to Mr. Homesly. " Can I sit down now?"
" Yes." he said. He looked as curious as everyone else in the room as I took my seat. He started with the lesson and I began to doodle never looking up to see who was looking at me. Please let this day get easier. I said over and over but I knew for some reason that the worst hadnt happended yet. Five minutes before first block ended Mr.Homesly gave us time to perpare for our next class and to talk quietly to our neighbors. I felt akward. Everyone knew everyone, except me. AS everyone chatted I stared down at my schedule. Suddenly I heard Mr.Keen's voice call my name. When I looked to answer I noticed he was standing right in front of me.
" Hi, Im James." he said with a huge smile. I smiled back.
" Hi."
" What class do you have next."
" Umm...," I looked down, but I knew very well my next class." Chem. lab with Mrs. Jenkins room 156."
" Oh, cool me too. Do you want me to show you how to get there."
I hesitated, the bell rang and I nodded my head yes. I knew James probley wasnt the best looking guy in the school or the most popular but he was nice and I was in no possision to pass up a nice guy walking me to class. The walk was as I expected. He talked about the people here and how "lame" it was to leave here. He asked me a few questions about living California, mostly about some nude beach he read about on the internet. He entered the class and he took his seat. I walked to the lab counter in front of the room. Mrs. Jenkins was writing some qoute on the board. When she was finished she grabbed my schudule and said to seat a the back lab table. It was empty when I got there and I figured it would remain empty. I was so wrong. Just as I was setteling in Mr.Schaffer walked in. When he saw where I was sitting he was as still as I was. Perfecet. Jackass. I thought and wished I could say it outloud.
The bell rang and class began. He took his seat next to me and scotted as close to the edge of the lab desk as he could. I felt his eyes on me and I turned my head. If looks could kill I would be dead. I glared back and he looked away. As did I. We ignored each other for the rest of the block. During this class I had no embarrassing introduction, Mrs.Jenkins didnt seem to care that I exsited. That was good for me because I was horrible at sience and math "...which is all chemistry is..." she said. Great this is going to be my favorite class.I thought sacastically . When class ended James was loalty showed because he was right next to me again.
" Next, Art 1 with Mrs. Bernard." I said before he could even ask. " Room 173."
" Oh I have 231. Well Ill point it out and then Ill see you at lunch." he looked disaponted that we didnt have all classes together. He showed me the class room and walked to his. When I walked into the class room I was greeted with a warm smile. Mrs.Bernard looked like a art hippie to the tee. She had long frizzing brown hair, colorful glasses, and long draped clothing that didnt match at all including her "god sandels".
" You must be Aubrey, Welcome." her voice was nice. Girly but serious. I had a feeling I was going to like her. All around the classroom was student done art and most of it was amazing. The tiles on the celing were painted into a collage of pictures each signatured and dated.
" Yeah. This classroom is amazing, so colorful." she smiled, as did I.
" Thank you. We have only one rule in addition to the school rules." she paused." Make what you want. Anything can be art. Let yourself go."
"Cool."
" Very cool. So are you interested in art. Do you paint, draw, sketch."
" Umm... for a while I did photography and from the pictures I tried to paint but I wasnt any Picaso."
" Well you can do anything you want in here. We actually have a darkroom in the back and school issued camera's."
" I have my own thank you."
" Okay well you can sit in the middle table with our star student Jason." she said pointing to an artisy looking boy who was already in his seat drawing away. He had skinny jeans on a Led Zepplin shirt and a curly mess of hair that was shaved to a weird yet flattering mohawk. He looked up and smiled. He was an attractive guy and seemed to be open to me being here unlike my table partner in second block.
" Hi, Im Jason. But you can call me Jay." he said as I walked over to the open seat next to him.
" Hi, Im Aubrey." I looked down at what he was drawing. It was a marvelous drawing of a broken and battered women. She was flawless and delicate, perfection in pencil.
" Who is she?" I said without curtisoy of his privacy.
" Umm.. I dont know, just someone I visioned." Right then the bell rang and I stood still mesermised by the drawing. I looked up and noticed that the classroom was full and everyone was looking at me. My face went to fire. I quickley sat and stared forward.
" Dont worry," Jason said." They'll stop acting weird by tomorrow."
" Thanks. It just seems like I can't stop embarrasing myself." He laughed and closed his setch book. Mrs. Bernard started instruction and everyone began on their project idea list. Mine was full of things within minutes. Me and Jason talked while working on our lists. I liked talking to him. He was sarcastic and funny, it wasnt a conversation I had to force like it was with James. He never once asked why I was here or if I liked it. I didnt have to lie to him, I could be myself which felt good. I hadn't been me in a while. When class was ending Jason invited me to eat lunch with him and his friends. I agreed not thinking about James. We walked to the lunch room and threw our stuff in a coner. He explained that him and his friends had occupied that coner since they were freshman. We got in the line for food. He bought tons of fries and two slices of pizza. I bought a soda and a bag of sun chips.
When we got back to the coner his friends were sitting on the floor talking. There were two girls and two boys. The girls were "punk" girls, both pale with dark hair. One was a little chubbier than the other with longer hair and harder features. The other was a small girl with short hair and a nose ring. The boy were not as attractive as Jason but still nice looking. One was super tall and skinny with long shaggy hair and the other was skinny and short hair swooped to one side. They all greeted me with warm smiles and made room for us to sit.
" Hi Im Angela and this is Nadia." the chubby one said pointing to the other girl. She had a warm inviting voice that made me smile.
" And I am Sam," the shaggy one said." And this is Tray." pointing to the other boy who was shoveling food in mouth like he had never eaten in his life.
" Im Aubrey." We talked about the school and they told me who to avoid and how to deal with the teachers. I was relaxed around them. Suddenly I saw him, Mr. Schaffer. He was staring at me again. This time he was with a group. They all looked like models. There were two girls and two boys not including him. The girls were flawless. One was pixie like with short Victoria Beckham hair and light eyes, the other had a old fashion bueaty, soft and descret with long blonde hair. The boys were tall. One looked like a body builder, huge but looked like a goof. The other was shy looking, he sat to himself and looked at the food before him. None of them spoke to each other and none ate. Jason noticed my stare and kindly smiled.
" There the Schaffer's. The richest people in this dump."
" Who is the dark haired boy with the black eyes."
" That's Aiden. Their all really nice. They don't socilaize unless its to each other but they are always nice if you need something, there who everyone wants to hang out with. The popular's."
" Really? Well, Aiden wasnt so nice to me today. I have first and second with him."
" Thats weird. Maybe he's shy around girls that arent from this crap hole." he laughed at himself. Just then James walked up.
" Hi James." Tray said.
" Hey. Hi Aubrey."
" Hi."
" Well I was just wondering if Aubrey needed help finding her last class?"
" Nope," I said." I think I got it, thanks." James looked disappointed.
" Okay, well then I guess I'll see you tomarrow. Bye."
" Bye. " we all said at once.
" I think someone has a crush on Ms.Aub over there." Sam finally said. They all laughed and I just smiled. Lunch was over and we all departed. I walked to the gym alone. It was easy to find mostly because I had passed it tons of times today. It was in the middle of the school and the biggest of all the buildings. I walked in and was greeted to the smell of socks and a hint of pee. It wasnt pleasent. I found Coach Delinger and had him sign my schedule. He gave me a locker, lock and a uniform I was to keep for the rest of my time at this school. He let me sit out of the games today. I sat on a bleacher and watched as the other students played various sports. The class went by quickly and the end bell rang. When it did I jumped up and made my way to the office. When I walked into the front office I gave my schedule to Mrs. Rawlings.
" How was your first day, dear."
" Fine." I lied.
She gave me my schedule back after she made a copy and I was free to go. When I got to the parking lot it was packed. I huffed knowing I wasnt leaving anytime soon. I got into my car and skweezed my way into line to leave. As I sat there I saw Aiden. He passed right by my car laughing with the rest of the Schaffers. That was the last straw. Now they were laughing at me. What did I do to deserve this treatment. I put my car in park and got out.
" Hey," I yelled. He turned and looked at me." Yes you." He smiled and walk toward me.
" Yes?" he said as if he had no clue why I was yelling at him.
" What the hell is your issue with me? You don't even know me." I was still yelling but he was only feet from me.
" What are you talking about."
" Seriously you have no idea why Im mad? Are you some kind of retarded person?"
" No, but I havent done anything to you."
" No just embarressed me in front of the entire English class, acted like I was diesease in Chemistry and decied to stare at me like you wanted to kill me everytime I was around. BUT I MUST BE THE CRAZY ONE!" his look changed to hard and cold. Right then I noticed everyone was staring at us. I turned red.
" YES YOU MUST BE CRAZY," now he was yelling." Damn."
" Whatever, you might be there god," I said pointing to the staring pedestrians." But your not mine, I know what you did and I think its quite childish. Grow up. Im new so you have to give me a hard time. Asshole." and before he could defend himself again I was in my car. The line finally was moving. He stood there with a blank look on his face as I drove away. I wanted to cry. Why was everything so hard, why couldnt I be left alone. Thats all I wanted, to be left alone. On my to the house I cried, with last year running through my head up to this moment.
When I got to the house it was still empty. I had stopped crying and walked in the house. I went to my bedroom. I checked my e-mail first. I had one new message, it was from Daniele. I took a deep breathe and opened it.
Hey girly,
I miss you so much. The new house is big and empty. I hate it. It sucks but the guy across the street is super hot. He helped us get our stuff in the house. His name is Justin and he's really nice. Hope things there are going good. You started school today right? Hope you meet a hot guy.lol. Well got to go finish unpacking.
Love,
Dani.
When I read the e-mail I felt better knowing that she was back to her boy-crazy self. I wrote her back telling her baout school leaving out Aiden completely. I didnt want her to worry or to know I was miserable. After I sent the message I did homework. Around seven o'clock Jon came home with take-out. We ate our dinner and he grilled me with questions about school. I left out the Aiden part again to him. I didnt want him to know that I was back to my old behavior. He seemed pleased with my answers and finally went to bed. I cleaned up the kitchen and went to bed praying tomarrow would be better.
I woke up before my alarm went off the next morning. I turned it off and quickly got ready. Today I looked out the window to a crazy storm so I dressed to the occasion. I wore a long sleeve shirt, jeans, the same shoes and jacket as yesterday. I ate breakfast today at the house and left when I was finished. I drove to school and parked in the same spot. I sat with my eyes closed and listening to my iPOD for a few minutes until I noticed a knock on my window. I opened my eyes and saw Aiden standing at my window. Great.
I rolled down my window and waited for him to talk. He looked like he was searching for the words and I just sat there. I was trying to look as irittated as I could. He looked at me and began to speak.
" I wanted to apoligize for my behavior yesterday, it was..." he searched for the words so I helped him.
" Childish, unnessecary, annoying, rude, unexceptable..." he cut me off.
" Yes," he said with a smile. One great crooked smile. I wanted so bad to smile to but I didnt. I didn't want him to know that I was easily pushed over for cute boys." All those and more. I hope you'll except my apology and let me make it up to you."
" Make it up to me?"
" Yes, Im not sure how but Ill think of something." with that he smiled that perfect smile again and walked toward the school. I waited until he was around the coner and then I got out and followed. I entered the English class and was suprisgly not stared at. Jason was right, people got over their weird behavior over night. The only one who looked at me was Aiden. Something was different with him. I wasnt sure what, yet. I walked to my seat and opened my bag. English was over in no time. It wasnt bad today, no embarrassing questions or introductions today. When the bell rang I walked to chemistry with James again today. When we arrived Aiden was already seated amd looking pleasent. Instead of James following me to my seat I followed him to his and we continued our conversation until the bell rang. I took my seat and sitting in front of me was a folded peice of paper. I looked up and noticed Aiden was smiling looking down at the note also. I opened it and read it quickley in my head.
So I figured out how to make it up to you. Would you like to know how?
Not really., I wrote back and handed it to him.
Im trying here. Dont you think you should too.
Nope.
You'll turn around. They all do. I didnt answer. He was a jerk, cute but a jerk. I shoved the note in my pocket and tryed to pay attention to Mrs. Jenkins. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time. The bell rang, and before I could leave Aiden had his hand clug to my wrist.
" Let go of me."
" What is your problem," he said camly. " I was trying to be nice, trying to make amends."
" Well. Don't" I wanted to breakdown, " Maybe I don't want to be nice and make amends, maybe I want you and everyone else to leave me alone." He looked shocked. I pulled my arm away. " I want everyone to leave me alone." I repeated slower and calmer. Turing to walk out the classroom I noticed everyone watching. I just kept walking trying not to look at the scornful eyes.