Title: Of Friendship, Desire, and Love
Summary: Snippets of the boy's life at Hogwarts. Eventual Remus/Sirius. Some parts fluffy, some angst, some awww...
Rating: M for later chapters
Warnings: Overall- language, sexual acts, slash, mentions of suicidal thoughts, gore. This chapter- nothing, really.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. No money is being made or offense is intended.
A/N: This is mostly written, so updates should be relatively frequent. One chapter per school year + a post graduation chapter. I would love reviews :)
Once Upon a Time
Orion Black stood stiffly on the platform of 9¾, his eldest son's shoulder clasped firmly underneath his punishing hand. Sirius was wiggling slightly, partially from the pain from the too-firm grasp, but mostly from excitement. He was getting away from his parents for the first time in… ever!
"Sirius, look at me." Reluctantly, the eleven year old did as he was told. Orion spoke softly, but the haughtiness in his voice was unmistakable. "I expect only excellence. You are the heir to our family, and should purport yourself accordingly. While it should go without saying, I will repeat myself once again: avoid mudbloods and blood traitors. Uphold the morals of the noble house of Black." His silver eyes fixed harshly on Sirius, who nodded slightly. "Now, come. There is your cousin Lucius. You should sit with him on the train."
He steered his son toward the Malfoys, where Sirius' older cousin was imperiously ordering younger students to load his bags for him. Sirius allowed himself to be dragged, but caught the eye of another boy who looked about his age, flashing a smile that said Parents. What can you do with them?
The messy-haired boy watched the kid who had smiled at him be dragged off by his father, and then turned his attention back to his parents, who were fussing with final goodbyes. His mother enveloped him in a suffocating hug, and pulled back, tears shining in her eyes.
"James, I am so proud. No matter what house you end up in… oh… my little baby is so grown up!" She sniffled, and hugged him tight again.
"M-om… c'mon, you're embarrassing…"
James was rescued by his father, who also pulled him in for a quick hug (not as stifling as his mother's) and a pat on the head.
"Don't get into too much trouble, now. Don't do anything I wouldn't do." James didn't miss the horrified look his mother shot his father, and he grinned.
"Bye, Mum. Dad. I'll write to tell you what house I get into." He spun round and quickly moved to pull his trunk onto the train, accidentally knocking into a pudgy boy who was trying to escape his mother's frantic scrubbing on his face.
"Sorry, mate," James grinned, and the other boy shot him a please save me look. James laughed and pulled his trunk behind him as the boy was again forced to look at his mother.
"Peter, now, do you have everything? Didn't forget clean underwear? You have all your books? Quills, spare parchment, extra—"
"Yes, Mum, I have everything. We checked fifty times, can I get on the train now?" Mrs. Pettigrew gave his nose a final swipe, and sighed, stepping back.
"No getting into trouble, Peter. Make some friends, darling."
"I will. Write you soon," Peter replied, turning and pulling his own trunk onto the train. He didn't notice the sandy-haired boy who was watching him nervously.
"Remus." The boy jerked, startled by his father's gentle hand on his shoulder. "Ready?"
"I-I guess." He was practically shaking, equal parts terrified and excited.
"Professor Dumbledore will talk to you more when you get to Hogwarts. He said he and the school's Healer have set all sorts of precautions up for you. You'll be fine, everything will be perfect."
"What if someone finds out?"
John Lupin looked closely at his son. "No one will find out. You're going to get a wonderful education, and everything will be fine." Remus looked back and forth at his mother and father, who were both smiling tight little smiles.
"Yea, fine. I'll be fine. I-I'll see you at Christmas, then."
"Write to us soon, Remus," his mother interjected as he turned to drag his trunk toward the train. Remus nodded, and didn't look back.
('')
As soon as his father and the platform disappeared from sight as the train pulled away, Sirius got up and left the compartment in which he'd been sitting.
"Where are you going, Sirius?" drawled Lucius, not looking up from his Quidditch magazine.
Sirius snorted. "Sod off, Lucius. Like I'd want to sit near your uptight arse the whole way to school." Lucius rolled his eyes, but made no further comment when the other boy left the compartment.
Sirius trailed his fingers down the row of compartment doors while he looked for one that was less crowded with unpleasant people. He stopped in front of one that held only two other boys, who looked to be close to his age. One was the boy he'd smiled at on the platform.
"Hey," he said, poking his head in. "Mind if I sit with you?" The black-haired boy, recognizing him, smiled and gestured him in.
"Hi. I'm James, and this is Peter. We're both first years." The other boy in the compartment gave Sirius a little wave and said hi, as well.
"Cool, me too. I'm Sirius." James and Sirius quickly settled into easy talk, but Peter seemed too nervous to contribute much to the conversation. A few minutes in, a quiet knock startled James out of a particularly extravagant imitation of the Chudley Cannon's Beater's ridiculous blunder from their latest match, and the three boys looked up to see a slightly pink-flushed boy standing in the compartment's door.
"Everywhere's full up… mind if I…"
Sirius stood up and grabbed the boy, pulling him into the seat next to him. "You're in. I'm Sirius." He unabashedly checked out the other boy, who blushed harder. "Oh, and this is James and that's Peter," he said gesturing to the other two, who each waved when their name was mentioned.
"I'm Remus," whispered the boy, who was entirely overwhelmed by this boisterous greeting. But as the ride progressed, Remus relaxed, and by the time they were almost to Hogwarts, he was laughing along with the rest of them.
With the end of their ride approaching, even Sirius fell silent to nerves. All four boys quickly changed into their robes, and when the train lurched to a halt, Peter let out a shaky breath, James and Sirius set their mouths in thin lines, and Remus paled.
"Right, lads," said Sirius, breaking the silence, and causing everyone to jump. "Onwards."
('')
The first years trooped into the great hall amidst much whispering and pointing, and Remus felt like he was going to be sick. He toyed with the hems of his robes, occasionally scratching at the itchy scar on his arm, a leftover from last month's transformation.
When was Dumbledore going to talk to him? It was three weeks until the next full, what had they done to make things safe for him to be here? He realized he was shaking, and glanced at the three boys he had met on the train. He wondered if the time they had spent on the train was what it felt like to have friends.
Peter was shaking worse than Remus. Already wishing he could be like James, full of quiet confidence. He hoped they would be placed in the same house—whatever house it was, it didn't matter.
He unconsciously moved closer to the other boys he'd met on the train. He'd liked all of them. Yea, Sirius was a little… loud, and Remus looked like he'd end up a bit of the bookish sort, but they were all nice. The train ride had been fun.
James shoved on Sirius' shoulder, wanting to wish him luck, and was mildly surprised when the previously cocky boy turned to him, his eyes wide. Sirius looked terrified—much more scared than he should be. James gave him a puzzled look, and Sirius shook his head.
All the first years looked on in shock when the Sorting Hat opened its mouth and began to sing.
When Professor McGonagall unrolled her parchment and began reading off names, Sirius' stomach threatened to evacuate his body. One, because his new friends would now hear his last name, and two, because… well, any house but Slytherin. Any. House. But. Please…
"Black, Sirius."
Sirius stepped forward shakily, and turned to glance at his friends, quickly looking away when he saw the shock the mention of his last name had etched onto James and Peter's faces. At least Remus hadn't reacted, but he may not have heard. He looked like he was going to throw up.
Sirius stepped up and picked up the hat, sliding it down over his eyes, so he wouldn't have to look at anyone.
A Black, eh? Sirius jumped when the Hat's voice spoke softly in his ear.
Yes, but I'm not like them. I don't want Slytherin. Please, please, please, please…
You'd do well there, you know. Your family would be proud…
I don't care about my bloody family, they're horrible… I just want to be myself, be someone worth something, a good sort of person…" Sirius' thoughts were babbling.
All right, then, don't get your panties in a twist… in that case, let's make it… "GRYFFINDOR!"
Sirius tore the hat off his head, panting in relief, and headed for a table covered in red and gold and filled with cheering, happy faces. He glanced across the hall at the green and silver table, and caught sight of Lucius, who was sporting a raised eyebrow and an incredulous look on his face.
Sirius sat down to watch the rest of the new students.
Remus was the next of the four boys up—the call of "Lupin, Remus," jolted him out of his almost-panic attack, and he stumbled to the Hat, pulling it over his head.
Hmmm… the Hat mused in his ear. Interesting. Intelligent, curious, and a werewolf. Remus gasped quietly.
Does that matter? He thought, terrified that the Hat would throw him out—he was unfit for Hogwarts, he'd be outed—
Not in the grand scheme of things. An education for all! And I see a deep swelling of bravery—one of the bravest children I've encountered. There's no other choice, you're in "GYRFFINDOR!"
Remus sagged off the seat, pulled off the hat, and walked to the table he had seen Sirius head towards a few minutes earlier. He was greeted by a clap on the back from an unknown sixth or seventh year that made him cough, and he slumped next to Sirius, who pulled him into a quick hug.
"Good on ya," Sirius grinned at him. Remus grinned back. Sirius mostly ignored the fluttering in his chest that Remus' grin wrung out of him.
Peter became the third of the boys to be placed in Gryffindor, and as he sank down next to the other two, his face red, he whispered, "It wanted to put me in Hufflepuff, but I begged…" Sirius nodded, understanding what would make someone beg to be placed in a particular house.
When James sat on the stool, the Hat wasn't even fully on his head before it belted out a roaring "GYRFFINDOR!" James stood up, beaming, and joined the other three. Peter scooted out of the way to make room, and soon after, the sorting was done, and food was appearing.
After the feast, everyone stood to go, stretching and full, and the four boys (the only four boys from their year sorted into Gryffindor) began to follow an important-looking seventh year toward where they had been told their dorm was. Remus, however, was stopped by Professor McGonagall, and Sirius curiously watched him being led away. Remus looked a bit dejected, and when he shot a glance over his shoulder, Sirius gave him a reassuring smile.
Then Remus was lost in the crush of students, and Sirius turned away so he wouldn't get lost. When he got to the portrait of the Fat Lady, he was told the password was 'beetlebubs,' and watched in amazement as the portrait swung out to admit him for the first time into the Gryffindor common room.
('')
"Mr. Lupin," said Professor McGonagall quietly. "Professor Dumbledore would like to speak to you before you proceed to your dorm. He assured me this wouldn't take long." She guided him gently toward where the white-haired man was waiting for them, at the edge of the great hall. "Congratulations on being placed in Gryffindor, by the way," she added before leaving him alone with Dumbledore.
Remus glanced around. The great hall was already almost empty. He looked nervously up at the Headmaster, who smiled benignly back at him.
"Remus, I'm thrilled your parents decided to allow your attendance. I simply wanted to personally assure you that the staff has set up several protective matters regarding your condition, and that you have no need for worry." Remus nodded.
"A week prior to your first transformation," Dumbledore continued, "we will have a practice run wherein we will show you the steps we have taken. Until then, lose yourself in your studies, and I shall speak to you later." He gave Remus a reassuring pat on the shoulder, and Professor McGonagall stepped forward again, leading Remus out of the Great Hall and toward the Gryffindor dorms.
When they arrived, she told him the password, and Remus awkwardly climbed through the portal. The common room was already deserted, and he looked around briefly before heading toward stairs marked 'boys.' He quickly found another door with a plaque that announced 'first years,' and when he swung that one open, he was greeted by a grinning Sirius.
"Remus! What was that about? Everything all right?"
"Uh, yea… just a note from my father. My mum's… uh… sick," he quickly lied, setting up the running story his parents had planned on him telling anyone who asked about his disappearances.
"Oh, hope she's all right. Now, c'mere, look at our view!"
Remus let himself be dragged to the window, and he looked out, smiling. Hogwarts was going to be amazing.