The Same Old Changes

Helga:

I used to wait for something to excite me. Despite what people probably think about me, I actually try to be optimistic. It takes an honest effort to be the way I am, to know that everything eventually turns to shit, but to try to look forward to something anyway. Someone taught me that.

But not even an avant guard cynic like me could see how absolutely horrid the summer turned out to be. Seriously, it just really sucked in the worst way. It would be something that would've broken me down if not for my ever so patient psychologist. I promised her I would take each day for what it was and not a million for what they could or couldn't be, so that's what I did this summer: I tried to stay sane.

I've been sleeping in a big house by myself two weeks now, but it doesn't matter, I'm still sane.

My best friend has been gone all summer so I've been alone basking in my sanity...

All I had to do was remain sane enough for one more year. For as soon as the final bell of my senior year rings, I will officially be out of this town and away from this life. Only those important to me will know where I end up.

I mean, I'm just tired, you know? I'm sorry to lay this on so thick so soon, but I promised myself I would make this year known that Helga G. Pataki is playing no games. It's the first day of my senior year today I've laid all my cards on the table. I signed up for all AP classes, I'm volunteering at the hospital this semester, and I just finished up a summer track meet. Do I want to dedicate all my free time to school? Hell no. But it's the only investment I have right now to guarantee that I won't end up like my parents…that I won't end up like the scared broken girl I was turning into a few years ago, that I won't end up dead before living the life that I truly desire.

So what's sparked this fire deep in my belly this go 'round, huh? Why am I so determined? Eventually you'll find out about the misadventures of me, but until then, there's something that I've got to handle before school starts.

Arnold:

I was always good at waiting. Patience was my signature, and everyone knew me for that. I need people to have patience with me so it's only right I do the same for them. But the problem with it being so easy to wait for something, is that you don't know what to do when you finally get it. No one taught me that.

So like, what am I supposed to do? Jump for joy? Cry a river of tears? Hug every random person I see? I'm mad I don't have an answer for this. I usually have an answer for everything. I squeeze onto her hand a little tighter as I sit at her bedside. Right now it seems to be the only logical thing to do.

I feel her shift under her sheets a little, and I look up. Her eyes start to open and she stares at the ceiling for a while before turning towards me.

"Arnold…" her morning voice calls my name, and I squeeze a little tighter in reflex.

"Hey, Mom…"

Helga:

Getting to school early was like a little gem in my day I didn't realize I'd enjoy so much. There's no little idiots running the hall and all the teachers are too busy still downing their mugs of coffee and energy drinks to pay you any attention. I mindlessly spin around in one of the chairs of the front office waiting for the senior counselor to unlock her door. There were things I needed to handle.

"Helga…?" I finally hear her calling to me as she comes walking up with keys in hand.

"G'morning!" I manage to sound all chipper and what not.

But she just gives a cautious smile. "And what exactly are you doing here so early?"

"What does it look like, Dr. B? I'm here to grace you with my presence, doi."

Dr. Bliss is, by the way, one of those important people that I'll make sure knows where I end up. Having her accept the senior school counselor job for Quincy High was bittersweet; I wouldn't have to walk as far for our sessions but those sessions were extremely limited and I had to share her with the rest of the seniors. But it was never school that I needed help with, so code of conduct or not, I'd always make my way to her office to discuss the important matters. Life.

She opens her door and welcomes me in.

"Alrighty, what can I do for you, Miss Pataki? Nervous about your first day back?"

"Actually…" I sigh, not feeling like bantering around anymore. "I'm sorta here on selfish reasons," and I sit back down on another swivel chair. My chair. I've claimed it.

"You're always here on selfish reasons," she laughs.

"Yeah, yeah, true," which it was, "But this time it's not completely selfish. There's this friend that I have that isn't starting school yet, but he might be soon and—

"Hold on a minute, I think I know where you're getting at," and she starts to dig around in her filing drawer before grabbing a big manila envelope. "The principal gave this to me yesterday. It's the transcript for one of your old friends that should be welcoming themselves back to Quincy in a few weeks. Is Arnold really who you want to talk about?"

…

And just like that, one of the topics of my many misadventures come crashing back into my head.

Arnold:

"Hey Mom…" I drag out a little more than anticipated. Man, I will never stop loving saying that.

She cocks a small smile while staring down at our hands. "Honey, I'm still here. Still breathing, you don't have to squeeze my hand off."

"Oh." Was I doing that? Did I hurt her? "Sorry," and I quickly pull my hand back. This was the one thing I always hated: visiting people in hospitals. How was I supposed to know what they needed? What would make them feel better? Have I been doing the wrong things for the past three years of being here? Do I look as awkward as I feel right now?

But she just starts laughing. "Don't worry, honey, I'm not poisonous," and she reaches for my hand to place back on her own. "There we go. That's better."

And she smiles at me.

Man…it was like looking in a mirror. Except she was way more beautiful. I almost want to squeeze my own face when I look at her: did I grow into my head like she did? What would I look like with her chestnut hair? How would it feel to tell my daughter one day, "You know, you look just like your grandma"? But then, I feel myself slipping back into the I-finally-have-my-mommy-back void, so I pull back and search for the usual morning questions.

"So," I start. "How are you feeling?"

She absently rubs her thumbs across my hand and stares up at the ceiling. "Not bad, actually. Still have the morning grogginess in me but I'm excited to finally get up out of this bed!" and the way she shuts her eyes and smile at that makes me wanna hug her again. Why was my mom so awesome?

She then looks back at me. "Where are your grandparents?

"Still sleeping," and I motion to the small couch to the corner. As if on cue, Grandpa lets out a big snore before readjusting himself. We share the same chuckle.

"Of course they are," and she turns back to me. "We're gonna have to get them up soon so we can get out of here!" And like she was twelve she sits up in her bed and crosses her legs. "So, tell me what to expect again when we go back to Hillwood! Do we have all of the same boarders? Does the park still look the same? Ooh, I wonder if that hospital job's still open I applied for… Man! I feel like I've been in a coma for ten years or something!" and she covers her mouth a little with her hand, trying not to laugh at her own joke.

I laugh a little, too, but still instantly get reminded of how long it's really been.

My mom's been in a coma for ten years…

Helga:

"So you really didn't email Arnold back over the summer?" Dr. Bliss repeats what it took me two minutes to practically say.

How, how did I end up having this conversation? Honestly, he wasn't even who I was talking about! But Dr. Bliss was one of the only people to have a true front seat to all that's happened to me in the past few years since he left, so once his name got dug back up, I couldn't help it… I got trapped back into his football headed little web.

"No…" I pull a bit on my hair. "But in my defense a lot of things happened. And every time I've gotten a chance to sit down and think of something…I don't know, I just mess up. My heart bleeds onto my psyche and cripples my ability to form sentences. It fucking sucks."

She laughs a little. "I will always love your ability to be so articulate and so crass at the same time."

I didn't like the piquing levels of emotion I was feeling talking about this, but still, for some reason I persisted. "I'm serious, Dr. B! Even if I could've replied back a hundred times, how was I supposed to respond to what…what he said?"

She seemed unfazed. "You mean when he said he missed you? You could've just been honest, Helga. You could've just said you missed him too."

She just didn't get it. I suck my teeth and rest my cheek on my fist. "No, no I couldn't. How do you know I wasn't being honest? What if I really don't miss him? He's the one that left for South America. Why do I need every little thing he does to affect me?"

"I get it Helga, I really do. And you shouldn't let every little thing anyone does affect you. But you can't deny, Helga, with Arnold it's different. You two have been through a lot. You're no longer the same 14 year old girl that ran away. I think that's what you wanted to show Arnold. With you guys writing these letters back and forth while he's been gone, I think it's been easier for you to open up to him, and show him that you've been okay after he left."

I lean back on the box, staring up at the sky again. "…for all he knows, anyway. But that's all he does need to know. I don't want to revert back to the same manic little girl I was when I was in love with him. Yeah my life isn't exactly sunshiny farts and rainbows right now, but his is. And he doesn't need all my crap tainting it."

"He has been living a grand life, I will say that."

"Yup," I nod, "dude got his parents back."

Arnold:

This is it. This is the moment I've been waiting for. In a few minutes my mom is gonna come out of that hospital room and never have to return. We're finally going to take her home after years of just dreaming for it. This is what I was talking about earlier: the dream becoming a reality.

And I'm freakin' terrified.

"What are we gonna do now?" I ask Grandpa.

"Whad'ya mean, Shortman?"

"I mean, there is a free room at the boarding house, right? Do you think she's gonna try to get that job at the hospital again? What about her passport? Has it expired? I mean, it's been over ten years, I'm sure it-"

"Calm down there, boy! I can barely follow ya!" and he squeezes my shoulder a bit. "Don't worry, Arnold. We got everything under control. I talked with Susie back home and she's got a nice suite all made up for your mom. We got a few new boarders, nothing much, and your Grandma faked a passport so we're golden!"

I quickly shrug away. "What!?"

"It wasn't that hard, actually. We just found some kid in an alley who was able to get his hands on one of those special copier machines and-"

"GRANDPA!"

But he just started laughing. "Cheese and crackers, Shortman! You're always so easy to rattle up! My favorite past time, I tell ya!"

I could never tell what did and what didn't constitute as a joke to my grandpa. He is both the easiest and the hardest person to talk to and God, does he drive me crazy. I just roll my eyes and stand up, needing to move around until something—

Three bodies suddenly walk out of the hospital room. Thank goodness.

"Well, Arnold, I'm a free woman," my mom smiles while coming up to me. Did I mention how much I love her smile? It's as if my mind goes on a tangent whenever that happens and I always have to comment on it in the back of my mind.

…Like I'm doing now. Okay, I'll stop. "Good!" I say. "Are we able to leave now?"

"I believe we are," but she looks toward the doctor just to be sure. He finally nods.

"I already have another box of medicine shipped to your primary care physician in the states," the doctor clarified, "along with the box I'm leaving your mother with. It's something that's not available in any normal pharmacy, so it's still up to us to give your parents the best of care."

My parents…

I try my best not to upset my mother when I speak next, but the subject just isn't as easy as all our other conversations have been. I knew what was going on. As naïve as some people claim me to be, I'm good at measuring the weight of situations, ya know? And this one…this was heavy.

"And my...father?"

I hate when doctors do this, carry on a life altering conversation without even blinking. This guy was the master at it, too. "Mr. Shortman's state," he continued, "hasn't physically improved enough for us to make the same call. The same medicine we've given to your mother seems to be helping his immune system, which is a step in the right direction. But his brain activity is still unresponsive. That plane impact caused some pretty severe damage and dire-"

"That's okay," my mom interrupts fast. "My husband is strong. When he wakes up, he'll wake up. Can't always think of every situation as dire, right, doctor?" and she smiles while crossing her arms.

Did I tell you another cool thing my mom can do? She can cry without anyone knowing. I feel like that's what she's doing right now. On the inside.

I wanted a matching set. Parents should always be like shoes: come in pairs of two. Yeah, you can only have one shoe, but how can you keep all your toes warm?

Simply put, I'm not giving up on anything. I forced my grandparents to buy an extra ticket to Hillwood just in case Dad woke up, and I still have it in my pocket. Just in case.

Yeah, I know. Naïve suits me well.

Helga:

"…He's not coming back empty handed, you know." I start it up again. "I got the mass text he sent everyone last night. Apparently his mom has been responding well to the treatments and she doesn't have to be in the hospital anymore. So they're in the middle of packing their things and…should be back to Hillwood within the next few weeks."

She leans forward a bit. "What about his dad?" How I hate thinking about my lack of an answer for this question.

I just scratch my head and try to put it the best way I could. "He didn't say. He didn't mention his dad really to any of his other friends. But he told me in the last letter he sent that he was still comatose. I wonder what they're gonna do."

She had to catch on to how exasperated this conversation was making me. She tucked his file back away and stood up to start opening her blinds, letting the day in. "Well, when you see him be sure to send him my good wishes. He's a very special boy, I'll say that. Not everyone gets the miracle of being reunited with long lost family like that."

"Yes…" I sigh, speaking more so to myself. "He's very special indeed."

Sometimes I really couldn't understand how Arnold dealt. He really is like a little boy wonder. If you can't already tell, he's been gone from Hillwood for almost three years now, whisked away to South America be with his parents.

The boy got his parents back.

How surreal is that?

But, it isn't the fairy tale ending any of us expected. Our fifth grade trip was practically a giant ruse for him to magically find them. But the answers he got three year later wasn't magical. It was more along the lines of…tragic.

His parents were alive, thank God. But "alive" was more on the imperative. His mom…she caught the sleeping sickness they spent so many years fighting, and his dad…? Got the brunt of a bad plane crash.

Bad bad.

Comatose for eleven years and counting.

When Arnoldo got a letter from a hospital in Lima, Peru, he was flipping off the walls. A mad hatter; All the greatest actors in the world couldn't muster up more emotion than him. No one really saw Arnold as happy as he was that day. And no one was as happy for him than me.

Really, no one.

I'm not trying to be selfish here. I'm not trying to one-up his best friend or make light of his grandparents, but they weren't there when the two of us were being chased down by lunatic river pirates. They weren't there when La Sombra fucked with his head and made up how he killed both his parents with his bare hands. They didn't see his face. See his tears. See his absolute desperation.

I did.

And no one wanted to cry with him as much as I did in that moment. So when he got that letter, you're damn right I gave him the biggest hug my arms could muster; you're damn right I threw our past out the window and let him get on that plane to see his mother; you're damn right I never told him…

That I was still in love with him.

Petty childhood crushes have no room for family miracles.

I needed little boy wonder to work his magic where it really counted and forget about me.

Doesn't mean I'd forget about him, though. Talking with Dr. B made me realize even more…little boy wonder still had his hold on me.

Son of a bitch.

A/N: It's been a long time since I've written a Hey Arnold story, but this first chapter has been half finished in my computer for years and it's always been a story I've wanted to tell. This time it's gotten tweaked for the better. Arnold is returning to Hillwood soon but with a whole new life, and Helga can't wait to do the same, but this time away from the town that's caused her so much grief. This is my take on what life is like after TJM, and why Arnold and Helga's friendship is so precious and has the capability to make us feel the way we do, and write these stories lol. Hope you all like it!