AN: Disclaimer: Don't own any characters or titles of the show so please don't sue me, I'm just trying to have fun.
This is like an alternate ending to "Apprentice Part Two". I wanted to write a darker version of what could have been going through Robin's mind when the titans rescued him, so here you go. Hope you enjoy.
COMING DOWN
(Robin's POV)
The human mind is a funny thing. It can work in both conscious and unconscious states. It's the ultimate computer, holding tons of information from good and bad memories. It can even channel different kinds of emotions throughout the body at one time. This was something I had to keep under control the last two days when I had unwillingly joined Slade to protect my team. My friends. My family? I can't help, but cringe every time I think of his hand on that trigger, knowing that one small mistake from me and the Teen Titans would be no more. They could of died because of him. Because of me. They think that I saved them, but really they saved me. If I hadn't been so damn obsessive, so stubborn, none of this would have happened. But it did, and I can't let it ever happen again. I rebuilt many walls in the last few days, walls that had been coming down thanks to them. It was what I had to do though. I couldn't feel anything and I had to rely on instinct alone, to keep us all alive. I know I should feel better, sitting in the T-car again with the people I care about. Who care about me? I don't though, in fact, I'm tenser than when I worked for Slade. I didn't have to feel anything when I constantly busy stealing or fighting, but now those emotions are rushing back and everything that madman put me through was all coming back. It was like I was going through it all again, but this time was a hundred times worse. Now I had to let these emotions out, but I can't. I can't be vulnerable. I tried to control my shaking body. I could feel four pairs of concerned eyes on me. Two green pairs, one pair of violet, and one single brown eye that kept glancing at me then back to the road.
"Dude, are you okay?"
I hear Beast Boy ask as he touches my arm. His voice sounds so far away though and I don't answer. I feel numb to his touch and to the tan arm wrapped around my shoulders. I close my eyes behind my mask.
"Robin? Please, Robin, speak to us." Starfire begged, whispering in my ear.
Or maybe I just thought she was whispering. No, I couldn't speak to them right now, because then it would all come pouring out. The emotions. The pain. The cruelty of it all. No! I wouldn't tell them what all actually happened when I was with Slade. I wouldn't tell them how he beat me. Whipped me. Mocked me. Nearly broke me. They already had pity in their eyes. I couldn't handle more. Anger I could hand, but pity was much worse.
My breathing came out in shallow rasps. I was getting claustrophobic. Everything was too close! Their questioning eyes and sympathetic expressions were making my skin crawl. I felt disgusted with myself, still sitting next to them in this traitors uniform. I wanted to rip it off right there and now! It was filthy. I was filthy. Dirty. Used. Violated. You name it. But if I did rip the clothing off it would just make for a very awkward scene.
"We're here." Cyborg announced.
Starfire unfolded her arm from around me and we all stepped out. I looked up at the giant T that is our home. I was going to have to walk through it in this suit. I inwardly groaned as my stomach turned. Call me crazy, but I felt as if the tower knew what I had done and it wasn't exactly welcoming me back home like my friends. It was as if the building was staring down at me, daring me to taint it. I didn't want to, but I didn't have a choice. Ha! Got to love the irony of that!
I felt someone place their hand on my shoulder and I looked over to see deep purple eyes staring at me. Anyone that didn't really know her would think that, because her face wasn't showing any emotion that she didn't care about the boy standing beside her, but I knew better. I could see that she was just as concerned as the rest, she just wasn't trying to show it. She was losing the battle.
"Come on, you could use a warm shower and a good nights rest." She said, in a-what passes for her-motherly tone.
I would have been protested if her offering didn't sound so good. She was right though I could use a shower. I was very dirty and I needed to at least try to rid away the evil that covered my body. I nodded in agreement then forced my numb legs to move forward. We walked down the halls. Me in front and little ahead of them, they were giving me my space and I appreciated that, because now I could breathe better.
In the quietness of the tower I could still hear Slade's cruel voice,
'Get up!' 'Fight, Robin!' 'Fight with everything you've got!' 'We're not finished yet!'
My head started to pound. 'Oh god, make it stop! Stop!' I froze. The command was that loud.
The others halted behind me before I shook it off and continued on. The four looked at each in concern, thinking that I didn't notice. I did though. When I opened my eyes I could see their shadows turn. Finally reaching my room I some what glared at the engraving of my name on the door. I wasn't upset I was just thinking. I opened the door without a word and let it slide close behind me. I didn't even bother turning on my light as I made my way to the bathroom. Working for so long in the dark can adjust your eyes nicely. I walked inside and shut the door before leaning against the door. My entire body was in pain and sitting on the floor wasn't helping. Groaning, I stood up and took off my mask. I froze staring into my bathroom mirror. I nearly let out a scream at what I saw looking back at me. My heart rate sped up again. No! The person looking back at me wasn't me! It couldn't be! But mirrors don't lie, no matter how much you wanted it to.
(3rd Person)
"We should get some rest." Cyborg said.
Starfire didn't move as the others obeyed. Cyborg turned back around to his little sister.
"Star?"
"I cannot leave, friend Cyborg. I am too worried for Robin. I had thought that when he returned home everything would be the all right, but it is not."
Cyborg turned the girl around to talk to her face to face. "We don't know what happened in the last two weeks, and as troubling as this may sound there's no telling what Slade could of done to him. Robin just needs some time and plenty of rest. He's back where he belongs. He's home where we can watch over him. He'll be okay, Star, I promise." Cyborg assured with a smile.
Starfire smiled back weakly, "I just wish he would speak to us."
Cyborg sighed, "Come to my room. I want to show you something."
The hybrid led the girl to his room.
"What is it, Cyborg?" Starfire asked, curiously.
Cyborg sat behind a computer screen and started typing on a keyboard after offering the red head a chair next to him.
"Okay, sweetie, let me hook this up and I'll show you what's up." He smiled.
Starfire nodded. Cyborg fiddled with something then the screen came to life.
"I didn't tell you guys about this, because of how everyone prefers their privacy. I've never turned these on until now and I use these for strict emergency use only." Cyborg started.
"What is these?" Star asked, confused.
"Small cameras. When the tower was built Robin and I agreed to put them in every room in case something was to happen and we may need to review the scene, understand?" Cyborg explained.
Star nodded again.
"Okay now just let me…Ahha! There it is, Robin's bedroom. Now, Star, look at me." Cyborg ordered, putting his hand on the screen. "You can't tell Robin I let you see this okay? No matter what happens."
"But if he needs our help?" Starfire asked.
"If that's the case then we will help him, but other than that nothing. Promise?"
"Very well." Cyborg removed his hand and the two sat in silence waiting for something to happen.
"Okay he's been in his bathroom for about ten minutes now, so he could be taking a shower. If so then everything's probably alright." Cyborg said, breaking the silence.
"I wish to wait for him to come out." Starfire pleaded.
Cyborg nodded.
(Robin's POV)
I finally managed to control my breathing and began taking off the uniform, throwing it in the trash with disgust. Completely naked now, I turned on my shower and turned it to heat to the point where it almost burned my skin, which is actually pretty damn hot. I didn't dare look into the mirror again, afraid of another panic attack. The water wrapped around me like the warmest safety blanket and I could feel my muscles relax.
(To my readers: I'm sorry to leave it like this, but I'm having a case of writer's block and I promise to update soon! Please review what's here and thanks for reading.)