[The credits and mournful music play over various stock images of San Francisco: the Golden Gate Bridge, a streetcar, Fisherman's Wharf, Alcatraz, the Golden Gate Bridge again, a frozen yogurt shop, townhouses, the Golden Gate Bridge again, John Stamos playing a guitar.]

EXT. GOLDEN GATE NATIONAL CEMETERY. DAY.

FACT: In real life, this is a U.S. National Cemetery; mostly war veterans are buried there.

[LISA, MICHELLE, MIKE, DENNY and STEVEN stand around a freshly dug grave while a PRIEST recites a prayer.]

DENNY
Lisa, I'm so sorry your mom just died.

LISA
Yeah. I wish I'd paid more attention when she told me she had breast cancer.

MIKE
Don't worry about it.

[VIEW ON GRAVESTONE: "Claudette Minnott, Beloved Mother, 1938-2004."]

[The PRIEST finishes the prayer and everyone apathetically drops a clump of dirt on the coffin. As they walk away, we note that the grave is right next to that of "Johnny Wiseau, Cherished Future Husband, 1973-2003" and "Peter Vogt, Treasured Psychologist, 1969-2003."]

MICHELLE
What are you going to do now, Lisa?

LISA
I don't know. My mom left me $50,000. I'll probably do something with that.

DENNY
Can I borrow some?

LISA
Denny, you can't ask questions like that!

DENNY
I'm just kidding! I love you!

STEVEN
Lisa, you should use it to open a business. The computer industry is very competitive, and we don't want to see you sitting on the couch all day.

MIKE
That's me jobs.

LISA
Maybe you're right. I can name it after my mom. That would be a great way to honor her.

STEVEN
That's the idea!

MICHELLE
Hey, I hear that coffee shop went out of business. Nobody liked their cheesecake.

[They all murmur in agreement that the cheesecake sucked.]

LISA
OK, I'll open a business there. What should I sell?

DENNY
Drugs!

STEVEN
Atomic bombs!

MIKE
Underwears!

DENNY
First one to drop the football gets to choose what Lisa sells!

[In the next shot, he is holding a football. He, MIKE and STEVEN begin to toss it around.]

LISA
They're stupid jackasses. They want to control my life. I'm not going to put up with that. I'm going to do what I want to do, and that's it. What do you think I should do?

MICHELLE
Maybe you could use it to give back to the community. You've been so selfish lately that it's time for a change.

LISA
Hmmm. What does the community really need?