I couldn't believe I'm back here again. The walls were a chalky gray, not like the nice and comforting hospital walls you see in movies. And walking through those double doors just made me remember all those painful memories I tried to leave behind. Hospitals were never good to me; it was where I found out I was positive, and this is the place where I watched my best friend slowly pass away.

I sit on the bed by her feet, watching her breathe in and out. It looks as if every gasping breath she takes would be her last.

"Hey Ange, do you want something to drink?" I finally ask, breaking the silence.

"That would be great chica. Thanks." She smiled her sweet angelic smile at me.

Standing up, I made my way to the little fridge Benny bought for us. He's been so great the past couple of weeks; paying for the hospital and giving us some money for some food, and I haven't even gotten the chance to thank him yet. Roger doesn't like me talking to him, no matter how well Benny's been treating us. Things are changing between him and me, and neither one of us are saying anything about it. But I guess we were never really good with words, so silence is usually the only option.

"So how are you and Roger doing?" she asks me.

"Umm..." she knows something's wrong, Angel knows everything, and sometimes I hate it, "We haven't…really said much to each other since Joanne and Maureen's party." I say casually as I start pouring water in a cup.

"Oh…" she says quietly. I haven't heard the end of it yet.

"Mm-hmm…" I drop a straw in the cup of water and handed it to her. "But I should be leaving soon. It's getting late."

"You know, Mark and Roger are gunna be visiting soon." She points out, "You should stay."

"Umm, I've got some stuff to do at home and I gotta stop by at work to get a couple of things." I said quietly as I get up.

"You can do that tomorrow, can't you? I don't wanna be alone…" she says to me softly, she knows I'm lying. She knows me too well.

Silence from my end, "At least stay until they get here…" she finally says. "Please?" I look at her with a sigh and I nod my head as I sat back down on the bed. "So…what are you thinking?" she asks me.

"That I really want some huevos rancheros right now." I reply jokingly. She laughs a little bit and starts coughing into her palm.

"You're thinking about Roger." She finally says after her coughing spell.

"Is it that obvious?" I laugh.

"Just a little bit…" she says with a slight smirk.

Again with the silence.

"He loves you, you know…" she says softly.

"Well he sure has a funny way of showing it." I laugh sarcastically as I look down at my feet.

"He's just scared, he doesn't want what happened to April, happening to you. He doesn't want to lose you, that's all." I don't say anything. "Just talk to him Mimi…you know you want to."

"Can I help you?"

I snap back to reality. "Oh, umm yea, I'm looking for the room Roger Davis is in."

"What relation do you have with Mr. Davis?" the nurse asked me, as she looked at the computer.

"Oh, umm, I'm Mimi Marquez… I'm uhh…" I paused…what exactly was I to Roger these days? The nurse looked at me, waiting to finish my sentence. "…I'm a friend of Roger's…" I said.

She looked at me doubtfully and went back to look at the screen, "Umm… he's in room 702, just go straight ahead, it's the last room on the right."

"Thanks." I said, as I start walking away.

The walk to the room seemed like an eternity. Why am I just getting here? I ask myself. Roger's been in the hospital for almost 2 weeks and I was at home not even bothering to answer the phone when Mark called to tell me to go visit with him. Or when he would stop by before he went to the hospital. I know I should've gone with him but I didn't want to… I couldn't…

"You know, he's waiting for you..." he says, "He doesn't want to go yet because he's waiting for you."

"I know Mark..." I whispered, as I felt my eyes start to tear up.

"He loves you Mimi…he wants to see you." He says softly. I clasp my hand over my mouth trying to stifle the sobs.

He puts his arms around me and kisses my forehead. "I know this hurts, and I wish I could make you feel better about this, but I can't. This is all up to you Meems, and I know you want to see him."

"I'm scared Mark…" I manage to say. "He's not suppose to go yet…I don't wanna see him like that."

I got to the room, and all I could do was stand there and stare at the door. It's now or never Mimi… you're wasting time.

A nurse comes out from the room. "Oh! I'm sorry."

"It's alright." I laugh, "I shouldn't have just been standing there."

She smiles at me. "Are you a friend of Mr. Davis?"

"Yeah…" looking down at my feet. "How is he?"

The smile she had on faded away and she looked at me with a sorry look on her face. "He's not doing too well, he doesn't have much time left."

"Oh…I see." I whisper.

"I'm sorry." She says softly. "He's sleeping right now, but he should be waking up soon, he told me earlier he's waiting for some company." Mark must be at work today, I thought.

"Ok, thanks." I smiled.

"No problem." She said as she walks off. I gave a sigh and finally opened the door.

He looked so tired and weak. I tried to hold back the tears as I sat down on the chair beside his bed. I took his hand in mine and put my head down. Why was this happening? I'm supposed to be the one on this bed right now. He's not supposed to be in any pain…at least not yet.

"Mimi?"

I look up to see his gorgeous face staring down at me, making me want to kiss him right then and there.

"Hey…" I whispered, wiping tears off my face.

"I've been waiting for you." He says gently as he tries to sit up.

"I know baby, I'm sorry it took me so long to get here." I said, "I've just been –

"I know…" he whispers as he closes his eyes. I looked at him and thought about how much he means to me. I don't want to let him go, there was still so much I wanna say. But somehow, I couldn't say it.

"Meems?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you…" he barely manages to say, "did you know that?"

I nod as I wipe away more tears. "I love you too…"

He smiles in his characteristically gorgeous smile and kisses my hand. He seemed so calm, and I sat there terrified of what's going to happen not too long after this visit.

"Are you scared?" I ask him. He looks away. I knew he was fighting back tears. Typical Roger trying to act all macho even when he knows it would be okay to show his emotions right now. "'Cause you know, I'm terrified." I said. I wanted to just cry out and tell him everything; I wanted to tell him exactly why it took me so long to visit, and how I don't want to lose him, because ever since that Christmas eve we met, I have never felt so loved…and for the first time, I knew I finally gained something, I finally had something to lose, and at one point, I was completely petrified…but I liked it.

"I'm scared of not being with you…" he said, as he finally looks at me with sad eyes. He turned his head to the side as he starts to cough. My heart was crushed into a pulp as I watched him. He was dying, and I couldn't do anything about it. I turn my head away. I can't stand seeing him like this. But I don't want to leave him, I don't want to let him go.

"I'm tired…" he finally says after his coughing spell.

"Go to sleep." I said, "You need rest."

"If I go to sleep, I won't wake up…and I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

I got up to lay on the bed with him and I took his hand into mine. I lean closer, tight-lipped and silent. And he says, "I'm glad you're here."

"So am I." I tell him, truthfully.

I knew it was time to say goodbye, he's exhausted, and he's not getting any better. So what was keeping me from saying goodbye? And what was keeping him from leaving?

"Mimi?"

"Hmm?" I manage to say, barely a sound at all.

"Promise me that you'll get through this." He whispers. I look at him, not knowing what to say.

"Promise me you won't leave ok? I need you here."

"I'm not going anywhere Roger, I'm staying here until you fall asleep." At that point, I was willing to agree with anything.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it…just promise me please?"

I kissed his lips softly. "I promise…"

He smiles and nods weakly, "Now go to sleep ok? You need to get some rest." I say softly.

"Will you be back tomorrow?" he asks sounding hopeful.

I look at his eyes and nodded. "Of course I will." He nods one more time and falls asleep.

"Adiós mi amor," I whisper in his ear, "consiga por favor mejor."