So i have horrible writer's block and decided to write this oneshot. I didn't forget about my other stories, please read if you get the chance. I heard a speech today about ADD and the speaker said he could run headfirst into a tree but not focus on the pain, so the idea spawned from that. I apologize if I offend anyone with this story it's merely for fun.

ooooooooooooooooooo

It was supposed to be a simple hunt, but really, was anything in their lives simple? Sam had insisted on going in careful, while Dean said he wanted to go in guns blazing. He hadn't actually said it, he just did it, leaving Sam to scramble behind him.

"Fuck." he growled, running after his brother. "DEAN!!!"

Brother first and hunter second, Dean halted his steps. "What?"

Sam meant to tell him it was a bad idea. He meant to tell him to slow down, that just because he was taller, didn't mean he could run like his older brother. But as Dean slowed down, the spirit caught up with him. So now Sam meant to tell Dean..."Watch out!" Too little, too late, for as soon as the words escaped his lips, Dean went flying head first into a tree. "DEAN! DEAN!" Sam called, rushing to his side. The spirit shrieked violently, blocking his path.

"YOU aren't going anyyywhere." it said, voice dripping with evil.

"Really bitch? because I'm thinking I am. I'm getting my brother and getting the fuck outta dodge. Who gives a shit what you think? You're dead." Sam stated coldly, somewhat surprised at the harshness of his words. But Dean was hurt and no one could tell Sam it wasn't his fault. He had called Dean, distracted him from what he did best. Going in guns blazing was something Dean was Notorious for, so what made tonight different? Shaking his head loose of guilty thoughts, Sam picked up the shotgun that had been lost in the mix. Shooting the ghost in the face, he hastily made his way to her grave. It was beatiful gravesite, pictures and Flowers covering the headstone. No time to take in scenery. He and Dean had dug earlier, but the groundskeeper had gotten wise so they had to come back later.

"There's always tomorrow Sammy." Dean had said, upon seeing the frustrated look on his face.

"There's always today too Dean." Sam sighed, wishing that for once Dean could see his true self-worth. Striking a match, he set the bones aflame.

Burn baby burn...

The screams of the spirit were enough to assure Sam the hunt was finished, so he rushed over to Dean.

"Dean...Dean..." he prodded, praying for a miracle. He had a pulse, but he didn't move. Dean was out cold.

"Guess I have to carry you huh?" Sam asked, knowing he would get no answer. Mindful of the car, he laid Dean carefully in the back seat. The ride was eerily silent, the engine his only source of noise. Absently reaching for the radio, Sam made a note not to turn it up so loud.

"Man, sometimes I wish I had ADD." Stunned more than he had ever been in his entire life, Sam turned to face his brother.

"What?" he asked incredously, relieved but concerned at his brother's obvious ramblings.

Grimacing, Dean sat up a little in the backseat. Realizing that laying down was more comfortable, he leaned back a little.

"I said, I wish I had ADD. God for a college boy, you sure are slow." he groused, surprisingly sounding completely lucid.

Curiosty won out over concern. For now anyway.

"Why?"

Dean smiled, though Sam couldn't see it.

"Because dumb ass. People with ADD can run head first into a tree and not feel a thing. I wish I didn't feel pain. I'm tired of hurting all the time." Dean confessed openly, thoughtfully.

"If you don't feel pain, you can't appreciate the good things in life." Sam said softly, unaware that he was speaking aloud.

"What's good about my life?" The question was accusatory, daring Sam to elaborate, tell him he was wrong.

If Dean didn't have a head injury, Sam was sure he had one now. Dean didn't do chick flick moments, he didn't open up about anything. But head injury or not, the question was asked. So he had to give an answer. Smiling, he did what he did best. Go for the juglar.

"You have me." he said, meeting Dean's eyes in the rearview mirror. For awhile Dean said nothing, and Sam became scared that maybe he had said too much. Or maybe, Dean just didn't consider him important.

"Don't you dare think that. I may have a concussion, but I can still read you like a book." Dean always seemed to know just when to pull him back before he went over the edge. Breathing an inward sigh of relief, Sam turned his attention back to the road. Dean had other ideas. "Am I that closed off? Do you really think that I don't care about you?" he asked, almost tearfully.

"NO! No of course not. Especially after all you've done for me...It's just..." Sam stuttered, trying to reassure Dean that he had faith in him. Dean yawned.

"You're always a reason Sammy. The only good thing in my life." he said sleepily, closing his eyes.

"Same here." Sam confessed, grinning like an idiot. Who'd think that the almighty Dean Winchester could have such a soft sappy side? Dean was now asleep, oblivious to his little brother's thoughts. Making a mental note to wake him up every 15 minutes, Sam pushed the pedal to the metal. Dean seemed to be ok, but this caring and sharing routine he'd picked up was a little unsettling. What if Dean started getting deeper with his statements, like when he was possessed by Meg, or when he shot him full of rocksalt?

"You left me Sam. You're a selfish bastard. Stanford was that much more important than me?" Or the Stanford incident. Great.

"Dude we are so done with chick flick moments after this." Sam sighed. "I didn't mean to hurt you Dean. It was never about you-"

"Obviously." Sam rolled his eyes.

"I just didn't want to live the life we lived. I wanted rest, something real. Like a future." He wanted, needed Dean to understand.

"Ok. Fuck the rest of the family right? Like I never wanted to go to college." Dean muttered.

"You wanted to go to school?" Sam asked. Dean smiled.

"Yale." He said dreamily. Sam shook his head and laughed. "I'm sorry your life was-is so fucked up." he apologized.

"I used to think it was, but people go through a lot worse you know. I'm lucky, I have you. If everybody had a brother like you, they'd walk down the street without a care in the world." Sam said proudly. Dean smirked.

"They would wouldn't they? I'm the shit no doubt." he boasted, allowing a little of his regualar cockiness shine through.

"God forget I said anything." Sam joked. Well half joked. Dean fell silent again.

"I love you Sam." The statement was said so innocently, like he'd asked for someone's name.

"Huh?" Sam asked, dumbfounded.

"No homo. I love you man." Dean repeated himself, completely honest.

"I love you too Dean. No homo." Sam said, laughing at the last part. The road became a little blurry, so Sam wiped his eyes a little.

"Don't cry Sammy. When you hurt, I hurt too." Dean said worriedly.

"I know. I know." Sam said quietly. " I hurt when you do too. Besides you jerk, I'm not sad I'm happy."

"Dude you're Emo."

"Am not!" Sam protested.

"Are too...bitch."

Sam laughed. Dean chuckled.

"Dude did you just giggle?"

"Sam," Dean began like a wise man passing on very important advice, "Like that hot chick Rihanna said, just shut up and drive." Sam did as he was told.

ooooooooooooooo

The hospital wasn't as dramatic as all their other visits were, and within minutes Sam was allowed into Dean's room. Pulling up a chair, he hoped that Dean woke up, not anyone else. Seeing him stir, Sam was about to get his answer.

"Dude what the hell." Dean complained, running a hand across his face.

"You sort of got thrown into a tree. You were really out of it." Sam explained, wondering if he was relieved or saddened at Dean's lack of memory of their um, discussion.

"I got the tree part. Man that bitch is gonna be charcoal when I'm through with her." Dean vowed angirly.

"I got her dean. The job's done." Sam said quietly. Upon hearing his lowered voice, Dean looked at him in concern.

"Are you ok? You're not hurt are you?" he asked anxiously.

"Always looking out for me aren't you?" Sam asked.

"Forever and always." Dean stated firmly. Both boys fell silent, each lost in their own thoughts and struggles.

"Dude. I wish I had ADD." Dean said suddenly. Looking up quickly, Sam opened his mouth but closed it. Now wasn't the time. Ever observant, Dean noticed his hesitation.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing. It's nothing." Sam lied, and Dean saw right through it. "I'll go check you out." Without a word, he was gone. Disturbed, Dean decided not to push. He had a feeling he was forgetting something important, but couldn't figure out what. There would be time, and he planned to use it wisely.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

I guess I'm done. Unless you guys liked it so much that you want it to be a two-shot? I can definitely do that if requested. thanks for reading!