When I'm Gone
Harry Potter
MalikOfDarkness
I did it, damn it. I did it.
He's gone. He didn't die a noble death at the hands of the Dark Lord. He was killed.
By me.
I'm on my knees, scratching at the wall, creating a bloody line. The pain is nothing compared to my broken heart.
()()()()()()()()()()
Flashback
"Severus, it's for the best."
"I don't see how, Headmaster. You'll just cause pain to everyone."
"If Lily asked you to kill me, you would do it, wouldn't you?"
"Lily would never ask me to do that; she worshiped you."
"So you would?"
"Of course. I loved her. I would do anything for her. I would kill you just to be in a better position in her eyes."
"Then think of it that way."
"It doesn't work that way anymore."
"Why not?"
"It just doesn't."
End Flashback
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Because I have grown to care for you. Because you're a father to me. Because I love you.
I love you.
If only I told you that before I killed you.
But my stubborn self ruined everything for me again.
Damn it.
I crawled over to the liquor cabinet and picked a bottle at random. I smashed the bottle against the wall. Red wine dripped onto my hands and tiny pieces of glass latched onto my pale skin, producing thin lines of blood. I searched through the pieces of glass for one that was perfect for slitting my wrists.
The will to live left me when you died, Dumbledore.
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Flashback
"I don't understand why I can't die before you."
"They'll need you, Severus. They won't know it, but they'll need you."
End Flashback
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But what about me? Don't I need someone? Why didn't you leave someone for me? Someone I could trust and confine in.
But that someone left this world a few minutes ago.
I left the glass on the floor. I had to find a faster way to kill myself before these memories overwhelm me. I walked up the stairs, hoping that peace would overcome me soon. I opened the door at the top of the stairs and a breeze brushed past me. The cold air numbed the pain in my hands. My robes billowed behind me as I walked slowly to the edge of the tower.
It seemed like a perfect end.
After all, I would see him again.
Joy swelled inside of me as I prepared to jump.
()()()()()()()()()()
Flashback
"Severus, you need to be ready."
"I am always ready."
"I mean, for my death."
"I assure you that I'm ready for your tremendously long reign on this earth to end."
"I meant emotionally."
"Are you doubting whether or not I can keep my emotions in check?"
"Just remember that when I'm gone, I'm always looking over you."
"Damn, the old man makes a comeback after death."
"When I'm gone, just carry on, Severus. Remember that."
End Flashback
()()()()()()()()()()()
Carry on? How can I do that?
By being alive.
It was as if a voice from heaven itself came down and said that.
I took a step back.
They need you, Severus.
Another step. The cold air stung against my face.
I'm looking over you.
I ran to the door and sped down the stairs. I put on new robes and cleaned my wounds.
Just carry on.
Carry on.
Carry on.
Severus, when I'm gone...
I put on my Death Eater mask and smirked. It was time to celebrate.
Strange ending, eh?