Author's Notes: I've read several great stories about what went on behind the scenes for Willow and Tara in Season Four, but I figured I'd try my own. It's good practice getting into Willow's head for the longer stories I plan to write. I hope you enjoy.

"Oh, I'm not – I don't have much in the way of power, really, I mean most of my potions come out… soup. Besides, spells going awry, friends in danger – I'm definitely nothing special."

"No, you are."

"Well, I thought we made a pretty good team – not getting killed and all… with the soda machine, boom! Pretty cool. Seems like you're kinda powerful."

"I'd like to be. I feel like I'm stuck. Like I'm at the door and it won't open."

"I know exactly what you mean."

And they did get unstuck. Over the next few weeks they met and practiced magicks neither of them had done on their own, feeling their abilities grow and shift. That and feeling each other's power… At first that was all Willow had wanted to put her new feelings down to. She had finally found another person to share this part of her life with, one who wasn't trapped as a rodent, and the sensation of casting together was exciting and fresh. Just a novel experience with a friend.

Friend. Of course, if she just thought of Tara as a friend, it didn't make much sense for her to keep lying to Buffy about things like floating a rose or wanting to invite Tara to the Bronze. Those were perfectly normal friend things to do. Was she embarrassed to be hanging out with someone gay? Willow wasn't sure how her friends felt about that sort of thing. She had always been fine with it as far she knew, at least in an abstract sense, and more concretely after Larry came out. Tara had only told her about her orientation after Willow spent far too long talking about her break-up with Oz. Tara was so sweet, she'd sensed right away the pain in Willow's voice as she mentioned Buffy's newly blossoming relationship with Riley. The shy blonde's insistence that she'd listen to anything the younger Wiccan wanted to say unleashed the babble floodgates and she must have gone on about the werewolf for at least an hour before realizing to her mortification what she was doing. She'd tried to make up for it by asking Tara if she was seeing anyone and gotten an answer that just made things more awkward. Awkward for about a few seconds before Willow insisted Tara must have plenty of girls after her, causing the blonde to laugh. She loved the sound of Tara's laughter, the look of her smile, her modesty, her warmth…

By the time she went to Tara's room after being ditched by Buffy she knew it was more than friendly feelings that kept her coming back. Somehow she had a crush on a girl. What was most surprising was how unsurprising it was. Liking Tara felt natural, right. She knew that the other girl felt something too, and by the end of the night she was comfortable enough with the idea to take the dolls-eye crystal she had rejected earlier.

Being the spaz she loathed, Willow started to panic over the next few days. Her first fear was that Tara was feeling taken advantage of. Sure they had met due to a mutual interest in spells, but she didn't want that to be all there was between them. Her nervousness poured out when she went to ask for help with the demon locator spell. Again, Tara was all giving and understanding. Sometimes it made Willow hate herself for a moment, knowing that she wasn't as benevolent a witch or even as good a person as Tara. No one would ever be turning that girl into a demon.

Willow's second fear was that her crush was returned, but not in any serious way. Tara might think she was cool and fun to hang out with, but not as a real romantic prospect. That fear was destroyed by one word.

"Yours."

That word changed everything. She didn't want to wait any longer to bring Tara to her circle of friends. Tara gave so much and asked for nothing but her company in return. She deserved all the affection in the world, and if Xander and Buffy met her she was sure they'd see that too.

Her third fear was killed the next night. As much as she cared for Tara, Willow had never actually been… physical… with a woman. She didn't know if feelings were enough. They could start smooching only to find that it didn't do anything for her. It wouldn't be fair to put Tara through that. Then they cast the spell to find Buffy and she could feel it. It was more intimate than any experience she'd ever had, even with only their hands touching. The sensations, the intensity, they were all undeniably Tara. At the final moment before her spirit left her body all she could feel was that gorgeous, loving girl, holding her soul to their plane.

After that it felt like they were together, even though they were too shy to do anything but hold hands and share sweet looks. Willow wanted more, and she'd been hoping to put that desire into words after the party at Lowell house. The night was going perfectly, so of course it all went to Hell.

"You should ride with me sometime. I guarantee safety and fun."

"Well," Willow said coyly as she reached over to caress Tara's knee. "If you promise you'll look after me…"

Tara pulled back as if from a snake bite.

"Don't touch me." She stood and backed further away. "That's d-disgusting."

It was devastating. Later it turned out to be the house's corrupt energy that had caused Tara's flinching, but it still stung. Tara obviously felt guilty and kept touching Willow's hands and shoulders at every opportunity. The redhead knew she shouldn't feel hurt, but somehow the attempt at reassurance just made it worse.

The day after the wild party Buffy amazingly still opted to go spend the night at Lowell house. Willow had given the rest of the Scoobies a heads up and they were all on standby in case the dorm started freaking out from the Slayer and Marine's sexcapades again. When she heard the knock on her door she was fully geared up to go rescue her best friend from another bout of reckless passion. She wasn't ready for a distraught Wicca.

"Tara. Hey." Willow stepped back from the door to motion her in. The blonde entered with her arms wrapped protectively around herself, a sign of stress the younger girl hated to see. "Buffy's out with Riley. Hopefully not summoning any more bad mojo, you know, but I think it went away."

Tara finally uncrossed her arms and let them fall to her sides, still twitching a bit anxiously. "Yeah, about last night…"

Willow didn't want to hear it. Having Tara apologize for something that wasn't her fault would just make her feel like an even bigger jerk for being hurt in the first place. "It's okay. You don't need to…"

The older girl was too wound up to stop. "But I want you to know that I didn't mean to p-pull away and say those things…"

"I get it. It was the magicks. None of that was your fault."

Tara gestured somewhat wildly with her hands. "I know. I j-just… I like it when you t-touch me, and…"

She never finished her sentence as Willow's mouth covered hers. Everything else melted away. They didn't need words. Having found each other's souls in silence, they never had.

All of Willow's fears had been overcome except one. How am I going to tell Buffy?