A/N What's really sad is it's Valentine's Day,I have the day off,and the best thing I can think of is writing Fanfiction. But it inspired lots of great fanfics!(Well,hopefully great) :)
" KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK!BANG!"
"Jade, you didn't have to knock the door down."
"But you didn't come fast enough!"
"Babe,I screamed 'COMING!',what part of that did you not understand."
"Whatever, say Happy Valentine's Day."
"Thought you didn't like Valentine's Day."
"I don't,but you got me a present anyways,right?"
" me for thinking 'Pretend it never happens' means 'Pretend it never happens'!"
"You were still supposed to get me a present!"
"You know, there's only so many places I could hide this present that doesn't exist."
"You got me something. I know it."
"Checking under the bed twenty times isn't getting you anywhere,now is it."
"Bitch."
"Oh,thanks. Which reminds me,you're so obsessed with getting a present, did you get me one?"
"..."
"See!"
"Well,maybe I'm your present."
"There are so many things I could say to that,but will refrain from because I personally would like to have all my body parts intact."
"Good, you're smart."
"Hey,Babe, I don't think the fish have the present."
"So you admit there IS a present."
"No. And why do you care?"
"Maybe I just wanted a present."
"You look sad."
"I'm-sniff-not."
"Are you-crying?"
"No. I have allergies."
"Jade.."
"I'm not crying."
"Yes, so the drops on your face is my roof leaking."
"You should get that fixed."
"Aww, look I made you smile."
"Idiot."
"You know you love it-OOF,you're heavy."
"Then put me down dumbass."
"Words hurt,Babe."
"Not as much as guns."
"Guns don't kill people. People do."
"I don't really think a bunch or people running around screaming 'BANG' there'd be much harm."
"..."
"It wasn't that funny."
"It's mixed in with the pain of carrying you."
"As previously stated, put me down,dumbass."
"Fine."
"Ow!Shithead! I didn't mean drop me on the floor."
"Maybe you should be more specific."
"Maybe I should cut you with a knife!"
"Down,girl."
"Not a dog."
"Are you sure?"
"..."
"Kidding!"
"You better be."
"You know,as much as I love this side of you, I highly doubt you're gonna find much under the should just give up."
"Haha,no."
"Jade-gosh, you're still heavy."
"Oh,gee,thanks"
"Happy Valentine's Day."
"It's red."
"Open the box and maybe it won't be."
"It's silver..and black."
"I know."
"So what is it."
"A ring."
"Thanks, Sherlock."
"It's a promise ring. I have one,too."
"So..you want me to promise myself to you?"
"Erm, yes?"
"Aww, I was planning an affair with Andre. He got buff over the holidays."
"Your hilarious jokes are ruining the moment."
"..."
"It looks gorgeous with the black nail polish."
"It does."
"You're gorgeous."
"Asshole."
"Love you too,Jade."