Back in March I wrote this one shot that during the summer from June to September turned into the full length fic There's Something Beautiful and Tragic in the Fallout which I have already cross-posted here so I thought that I would also transfer this! Hope you enjoy this one!
"Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded, watching as her eyes took him in. She blinked a number of times. "Please," he said, his voice turning soft as she shifted uncomfortably in the bed. She bowed her head, obviously trying to avoid looking at him.
"I didn't want to hurt you," she whispered, her brown eye soft and terrified. "Again."
He almost didn't hear that last word but he did, and it caused him so much pain. "Talk to me Jems," he murmured, taking her hand in his, rubbing her knuckles. He didn't miss the flinch that she gave when he took it, but her shoulders did seem to release some of the stress leave her.
"It was a month ago," she said, taking a breath that shuddered. "The mission with the bioweapon."
"Jems," he said, realised what was happening now. "Why didn't you say anything?"
She shrugged, closing her eyes to help fight back the tears but it wasn't working, and they started to make their way down her cheek. "I didn't want to hurt you."
He shook his head, wondering why she hadn't wanted to hurt him. "Is that why you were working late in the lab? Trying to find a cure?"
She nodded, opening her eyes again and finally meeting his vivid blue ones. "I didn't want to be a burden, there was so much more to worry about with Malick, the Inhumans…" she stop, not needing to continue as Fitz knew what she meant. "There was so much more than me to worry about."
"No." Fitz's voice was sharp. "You are important; to the team, to your family, to me."
She shook her head. "The weapon was destroyed, yes but everyone thought that that was it, that there was nothing to worry about because it was gone but they were all wrong." Her breathing was laboured, and she was now trying to hold back sobs. "But I was exposed. I didn't have the correct protection and it was…"
She didn't finish, couldn't finish as he knew what he was going to say, he always knew what she was going to say. "Poisoning you," he finished for her and she nodded. He let go of her hand, and a small whimper escaped from her as the contact was lost. But his hand went up to her face and he brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear and she leaned into his hand. She was still hot, far too hot but Fitz let her cheek stay on his hand, using his thumb to rub away the tears making tracks along her face. "I could have helped."
"You were busy, helping Coulson," she replied. "I was trying so hard at nights, trying to stop it but I couldn't. Nothing was working. I was dying." The way that she said it was as if she were admitting to herself for the first time. "I was dying and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't tell you, Leo." The way that she said his name pained her, she rarely used it and when she did he knew that something was wrong. "I didn't want to hurt you again."
"You wouldn't have hurt me," he replied. "Nothing you could do could hurt me. You know that Jems."
She nodded, squeezing her eyes tight and allowing the tears and sobs to escape her. "I'm sorry," she said and he nodded, understanding why she had did what she had done. "What happened?" she asked, not knowing how long it had been since she had blacked out, since that night in the lab working desperately for an answer that would even help her for a few days longer but there was nothing that was working. Her temperature had been climbing and her heart rate slowing, making everything tiring, her breathing laboured. How she had kept this up for a month, she had been unsure. She remembered, vaguely, clouds of black at the edges of her vision before it had consumed her.
"We found you," he began, "on the ground in the lab…"
It had been early in the morning and when Fitz awoke he realised that Jemma hadn't come to bed the previous night. She wasn't there when he awoke, prompting him to check the time. 4:12 Am. Still very early. Too early for her to be in the lab but there was something in his mind that told him something was wrong. Very wrong. Stretching, he left his room and made his way through the base, knowing that if she were anywhere she would be in the lab.
"Jems," he whispered softly as he entered the lab, "are you okay?" No reply and his anxiety only increasing tenfold.
Turning around the work bench, he found her on the ground, a small cut on her forehead from where it was that she had hit her head, the trickle now having stopped. "Jems," he said again, louder this time but there was no reply. He knelt down beside her, feeling for her pulse. It was there, thankfully, but it was weak, far too weak. He cursed under his breath and he rolled her over, worrying that it was going to be too late. "Jemma," he called again, louder this time but there was no response. Looking at her, Fitz knew what he had to do. He left her side momentarily and reached for a tablet, unlocking it and hitting the panic button, sending alarms blaring through the base. It took moments for someone to find him, already starting to attempt to resuscitate her but soon Bobbi took over, rushing her to the Med Bay. She was rushed for surgery, and then she remained in critical condition for the next nine days before spending the previous five in and out of consciousness, unable to process much due to the high levels of morphine that she was on.
"They managed to off-set the chemical poisoning, though no one was sure where it came from, what caused it. But the solutions not permanent, only slowed."
"How long?" she asked, almost fearing the answer.
"Three months at most."
Jemma smiled at that. Three months was plenty of time with Fitz at her side. "I was looking at the work," he said, knowing what she was thinking. "We can do this," he reassured, whether for him or for her, she didn't know but it made her feel safe, helped her to ignore just how warm she felt. "Like we do everything…"
"Together," she finished. He nodded and he removed his hand from under her cheek. She pouted at this, and he started to stroke her hair.
"I was going to propose," he told her after a moment of silence between the two of them. "That night. I was going to take you to that restaurant on Main Street."
She looked at him, a flood of emotions rushing through her. "You were?"
He nodded. "It's been three months since I met you," he said but she laughed, interrupting him. "It was you that wanted to start over."
It was true, she had said that she wanted to start over. "How were you going to do it?" she asked, now wanting to know just how he was going to ask her to start their forever.
He got up of the chair and she readjusted herself so that she had a better view of him. Down on one knee, he raised the ring box that must have been with him all of these days as all he had to do was to get it was to reach into his back pocket. "Jemma Simmons" he began, his voice close to breaking. "There are many things that I could say about you, so many things that I love about you that I wouldn't know where to begin and I wouldn't be able to end. You have taught me so much about myself, taught me to love myself and embrace the person that I have become. You taught me everything that I know about myself and the world at large, helped me find my place in it. Without you I wouldn't be who I am, wouldn't know as much as I would and there's no one I would rather spend the rest of time with, and anything that follows with besides you. You are the one that I love and the one I love and…" he couldn't finish his voice now having broken and Jemma had tears marching his.
She nodded. "Yes." She had no words herself but it was always going to be yes. Always.
Together, it took them a month to find the cure, but there were still after effects. The chemical had taken its effect on her heart, making it much weaker than what it should be, leaving her on fit for field work. As soon as she was pulled from the field, Fitz also quit, refusing to leave her side in the long period of recovery that was following. Bobbi was right, rehab was a bitch.
It was later on night and Jemma had her head on his shoulder, thinking about the future. Now that the issue of the poisoning had been resolved, their focus had soon turned to their wedding, something that both of them wanted more than anything. There had been discussion during the night they would run off, and elope. But that idea had been dismissed as quickly as it had come. They both had family who wanted nothing more than to see the ceremony and Fitz was not prepared to face Daisy had she missed the ceremony.
Jemma had drifted asleep, her head still there when he placed a kiss to her temple. He had something to do, but he supposed that could wait until the morning, Jemma was exhausted (she had every right to be exhausted) and he was fighting sleep himself. With an I love you on his lips, he allowed himself to give into sleep.
It was during their preparation that Fitz started to notice changes in Jemma, and he couldn't help but worry. He was scared that it was an after effect of the poisoning. But she didn't seem to notice herself. The week that she spent over the toilet she had alluded to food poisoning and the fact that she had started to eat more she simply put down to simply recovering and gaining her appetite back.
It wasn't until the night of their wedding when the two of them stood under the stars together, having a moment alone together after the hustle and bustle of the day. She stood there, his hands wrapped around her waist and she had hers draped around his neck. Their lips danced against each other, his lips ever so slightly nibbling hers. "I almost didn't get into my dress this morning," she whispered when they broke apart for a moment.
He raised an eyebrow, a habit that he had picked up from her after so long spent together. "What are you saying?"
"I'm also four months late," she said, hoping that he would guess what she was trying to say.
"Are you?" he asked, hoping that she was.
She nodded. "I am."
He closed his eyes, placing a kiss to her forehead as she allowed a hand to caress the side of his face. "We're going to be parents," he whispered into her hair and she nodded. They were going to be parents. He couldn't believe it.
And with another embrace, they enjoyed their first night of forever.
Way back when I wrote this, I had only read issue 1 of the Agents Of Shield comics, now I've read issue 10 and like really really need to scream/fangirl at someone about what has happened. Like its just wow. Thanks so much for reading this and hope you enjoyed!