It's been a year since I'm with you. I still remember the first day we first met. It was a sunny day, a very good weather that everyone enjoys. It was an accident, I bumped to you and your things fell. It was like drama in the television, it was all like fantasy. I picked your things and gave them to you then you thanked me. But your bracelet fell on the ground and we both tried to catch it. I, unintentionally, held your hand, we both smiled. Do you remember it?
"Thank you and sorry for being clumsy"
"Oh, it alright, I must be the one to ask for forgiveness for bumping you" we both smiled
"I'm Mikan, you are?"
"Natsume, nice meeting you" we held each other's hand
It was like by fate that we know each other. We became friends and then one of my best friends. I can't believe everything happened so fast.
"Hotaru, this is Mikan, Mikan, she's Hotaru my first best friend."
"Hi! Nice meeting you, Mikan."
"Me too."
Our friendship never last and we both have a good bonding that even others thought that we are couples. I don't know when or how but I started liking you. I want you to know my feelings for you but I'm afraid to be dump. I'm afraid to lose the relationship between us, our friendship. I told Hotaru everything and ask her to help me. Do you know that?
"Hotaru, help me"
"About what?"
"I'm in love, no I mean I like someone"
"so?"
"I don't know how to tell her. I'm afraid"
"Why are you afraid? Don't be coward, just tell her."
"I can't. I'm afraid to lose her and our friendship"
"It's Mikan, right?"
"Yes, please help me."
"You better tell this to her before someone steals her."
"What? How?"
"Just tell her you love her"
I tried to but I'm afraid to. In the end, I haven't told you. Until the boy came and ruined our lives, you acted strange since the day we met him. When I asked you, you spilled it out, didn't you?
"Hey tell me the truth, why are you acting weird, is there something wrong?"
"Nothing, and if there's I won't even mind telling you"
"What's happening to you? Am I the reason? is there a problem about me or it was Ruka?"
"You don't need to know!"
"I need to! I'm your best friend so don't keep secrets from me!"
"Fine. It wasn't you it was that boy."
"Ruka? Why?"
"Yes, he is. He's my," you paused and signed "he is my ex-boyfriend and my ex-fiancé"
My heart broke into pieces, knowing that the suitor of my best friend Hotaru is your ex-fiancé and ex-boy friend. But I didn't show you, I asked you to tell me the whole story of your life with him. You even said that you love him. That even hurts; you are in love with your ex.
I told Hotaru about it, and it was a shock that she even knew about you and your past. After hearing everything from Hotaru I remember what you told me that day too, Natsume please help me, I know he left me there at the altar dumbfounded but I still love him, what should I do?. I don't know what to do; you're in love that I fear to confess to you.
I did my best just to forget the things that you told me and to move on and stop my feelings for you. As much as possible, I must avoid you. One day, I went to the school gym, I don't know why but my feet lead me there. I saw you, there standing and talking to Ruka. I was about to leave when I overheard your conversation.
"How are you?"
"I'm fine, doing fine. How about you? I wish you have forgiven me for what I did a year ago. you know I'm afraid of responsibilities" you smiled though your eyes are filled with tears.
"I'm not doing fine. I know you're afraid and I have forgiven you ever since."
"I'm really sorry"
"Ruka, please let's start this again, let's begin. I still love you and I know you have feelings for me too. Please go back to me"
"You know, I LOVED you and I'm glad that I met you but look I don't have feelings for you, It's all for Hotaru. She's the right one for me, I'm sorry but we can't be together again"
"But" a tear fell from your eyes. I could hear your sobs.
"Look, there are lots of guys in the world that will love you more than what you thought. Just like Natsume. I know there is someone that is destined for you. Maybe, he's just there moving round and looking for you, sorry but I can't"
He left you there crying. I wanted to go near to you and comfort you but I just can't. I don't want you to know that I heard it; you might get angry to me and stay away from me. I was about to go out of that place when I heard your voice.
"Ruka! I LOVE YOU! AND THERE IS NO ONE MEANT FOR ME BUT YOU! YOU ALONE! NO OTHER GUY NOT EVEN NATSUME BUT YOU!"
I can't believe of what I saw and heard. I feel so down. Now, I don't even need to say it to her my feelings for her. I went home and locked myself in my room. I was doing my assignment when your mom called and said that you fainted and brought to the hospital. I immediately went to you.
"Oh thank you for coming. I was so afraid when I saw her lying on the floor"
"How is she, aunt?" I entered your room
"She's alright said the doctor. She was just stress that caused her to be unconscious"
"Thank goodness" I went near to your bed
"sorry did I make you worry?"
"Of course! What the heck are doing to yourself!"
"I'm sorry, promise I won't do it again." you smiled beautifully
"Forgiven"
"Thank you for coming here, though"
"It's alright"
"I'm so glad that my daughter has you, she's so blessed. I wished that both of you will be together"
"MOM! Stop that. Will you just leave first?"
"Sure, I'll give you privacy" we, your mom and I laughed. Then she left.
"Natsume, I need your help"
You told me everything and requested to be your boy friend for one month. I agreed, of course (who wouldn't?). We are officially couples when you were released from the white building. The time moved fast. But my feelings for you never fade. I decided to confess on our graduation ball.
That night, you look so beautiful. I feel I'm in heaven and you're my angel. At the end of the program, outside the hotel, we both waited for your service because you wouldn't want me to bring you home. It was an awkward night, no one wants to talk. I breathe and was about to talked when you started.
"I'm glad that we've been a good couple for a month. Thank you for helping me, too, to forget him."
"Yeah you're right, I had fun too"
"But..." you stopped that made me look to you
"But?"
"But tomorrow, this is over. I wish, this never end but it needs to. Everything will end but we're still best of friends, right?"
"Yeah, tomorrow is the end, of course we're still best of friend, but you know, Winter, we could still continue and extend this relationship we have right now." I smiled and cocked to the other side of the road.
"No, this is enough. I had enough." you smiled and looked to me.
"Then I should at least give you that thing." I pointed the vendor that sells red roses.
"Red rose is your favourite flower, right" I continued
I looked at the other side of the rode then smiled. I saw you nodded then faced me.
"You remembered?"
"Of course, you're my girl friend right now so I should know your favourites. Wait, I'll buy one for you"
"Thanks but you don't need to" but I didn't listen instead I ran to the road going to the other side without looking at the signal
I heard your voice shouting. I looked back and saw your worried face. You are saying something but I can't understand then I was blinded at the light at my side. A CAR IS APPROACHING!
"NATSUME GET OUT OF THERE!" now I understand the thing you utter.
I felt someone pushed me and everything went black. But before I lost my consciousness I heard a loud sound. BANG! then I heard nothing. When I opened my eyes, I saw the white ceiling and the lady in white and a boy wearing a white gown. Where am I? I asked myself, where is Mikan?
I closed my eyes. The second trial, I saw Tulip, crying, and then my mom, they looked so worried.
"Where...am...I? W...where...is...Mi...kan" it was hard for me to talk.
"Sheees, don't force yourself." my mom said.
"I'm alright, what happened? Where is Mikan?" I said
"Look Natsume, we either don't know what happened. Someone just called us and said you're here and you both had an accident." Hotaru paused then signed thinking if she will continue her statement.
"Where is Mikan? Is she alright?"
"Mikan is...Mikan is in the ICU and her condition is not good. The doctor said she had a brain damage because of the impact. Natsume, Mikan was bumped by a car!" Tulip said
I can't remember anything. And I can't think about that right now. Mikan is in the ICU because of me! I got off my bed and force myself to walk. I went to you and saw you there unconscious. I could see a lot of needles in your body. It's all my fault, I should've listen to you.
I saw your mom coming; I came near to her and ask her your condition she told me you're in danger. I can't believe this.
"Natsume I need to tell you something" I got out of my illusion and looked to her confused. Her face is serious.
"I know Mikan never told you this but, she has HCM, it's a sickness of a heart. This illness is dangerous, anytime her heart might stop beating and she`ll die
"and right now, she's in the critical condition. The doctor warned me that if she won`t have a transplant of heart within 24 hrs. she will die"
"Then why doesn't she have the operation now?"
"Natsume, there is no heart available here and it's hard to find a donor"
I was lost. I felt tears are flowing on my cheeks, I`m crying. My love of my life has only twenty-four hours to live or else her heart will give up. I needed to do something. I needed to save her, she needs to live.
I went to your doctor then talked to him. This is my decision, after all. I had so many check-ups and examination. The results are good. "I love you so much, Mikan, that even my life, I can offer it to you". I told myself.
I go home and do the things I need to do. I must tell them the reason why I will do that thing. It's not you after all, it's my fault. So, I need to do everything to thank you and bring the things that I stole that was meant for you, your LIFE. I did this letter to for you, just to tell you the things that I wasn't able to tell you.
I love you Mikan, I love you more than myself. I will do everything just to show my love for you. But I'm sorry to say that I need to leave you, don't worry I won't leave that easily. I promise that I will always be there in your side even if you won't see me. Mikan, after all of these things, I have my one last wish. My only wish. Please live with happiness and love in your heart as you bring my heart. Live for me.
I love you! Mikan, I'll miss you.
Your best friend,
Natsume =)
Normal POV
9 hours to go...
After Natsume wrote his letter for everyone, especially for Mikan, he went to the hospital and went to Mikan's room. He saw Hotaru and Mikan's mother on the couch and Ruka, talking to the girl in the white bed.
"Mikan please wake up; see everyone is worried about you. You don't want anyone to be worried about you, right? So please wake up now, if this is your revenge for me, please stop this. Let's forgive and forget." He held her hand tightly.
The raven haired boy went near to the silver haired boy and tapped him. The boy looked at the guy, worriedly.
"She'll be fine. I'm sure; she will wake up and have her heart transplant."
"I wish that will happen sooner before the end" Natsume nodded.
Ruka went out for a while, Hotaru stands beside Natsume, who's looking at the sleeping lady.
"What do you mean by that, Natsume?"
"You know, all my life, I never experience falling in love so deeply and pure. She gave me the light; she showed me how to love." He looked to the auburn haired lady beside him, "Hotaru, I'll do everything just to let her live. Even offering my own heart will do."
"Natsume"
"I'm in love with her." he gazed back to the ebony black haired lady and held her hand. "Did you hear that? I said I love you! So please wake up, not for me but for yourself. I promise once you wake up, I will always obey you. I won't ever run to the road without looking at the signal light. I promise that"
"Natsume, I know how much you love her but please don't ever do the thing that I'm thinking you can do, just for her"
"Mikan, I will always love you, forever. Even in the other life, I'll love." He looked at Hotaru, sternly. "I need to talk to you, let's go outside."
Hotaru nodded and followed Natsume. They went to the open area of the sanatorium.
"What do we need to talk about?" she started
"This," he gave a long envelope, "it's for everyone. The tape is for you and Mikan. Please give that to them, especially for Mikan, give that to her after her recovery."
"Natsume, what these things mean? Don't tell me you're going to do that."
"Yes, Hotaru, I will. After all, it's my fault. If I didn't run going to the other side of the road, nothing will happen to her. If only I listened of what she's saying."
"But that's not the reason for you to die!"
"Stop now, I have decided this and I will do this!"
"Natsume please..."
"Sorry, but I have to go; I'll miss you and thank you for being my best friend. Love lots!"
March 21
After 2 hours, there had an accident near the hospital. A car accident and the driver was 40/60. The driver was known as Natsume Huuga. Then, his heart was donated to Mikan. She had her operation for 3 hours, and it was successful.
The next day, Mikan heard the news about Natsume and she cried so hard. Hotaru did what Natsume had told her, she gave the letters and the tape to Mikan. Mikan stayed at the hospital for a month for observation and was released exactly the date when Natsume died, 21. Mikan went immediately to the memorial park where Natsume was buried.
There she saw Hotaru, she went near and said her greetings.
"Hi, how are you?"
"Not fine. Up to now, I can't accept that he died. I heard that you are now alright and was released from the hospital"
"Yeah you're right" Mikan put the bouquet of flowers near the tombstone. "I too can't believe"
"You know, Hotaru, I was blessed when I met you and Natsume. You became my inspiration but Natsume became my light and strength. At first, I'm in denial. I don't want to accept the fact that I like him, especially when I saw Dawn again. But the more I deny the more my feelings grow."
"Mikan"
"The time I asked him to be my boy friend, that's the time that I gave in and let my feelings go. I love him. That's the reason I didn't tell my illness to you. I hide it from the both of you."
"But why? Why did you not tell him you love him?"
"Because I'm afraid, afraid to be hurt again." A tear fell from Mikan's eye. She's still glaring at the tombstone
"Did you hear me? I said I love you! Sorry if I cried again. I just can't hold it any more. You know, Natsume, I cried when I watch that tape, I cried because of your message and the poem that you made for me. WHENEVER I DIE NOONE MUST CRY FOR THE BEST, I TRIED TO YOU, BE INSPIRED. Do you remember this? You said this. I'm sorry if I didn't listen to you. Sorry if I still cry. It's because I love you!"
"Hotaru, please don't cry, he never left you. He's in your heart, remember? You own his heart because you are the only girl that is meant for him"
"You are right, I must not cry because he's alive always, in here" she pointed her heart
"Come, you should go home now and have your rest" Mikan nodded.
I love you too Mikan, Always and forever
-End-