"You're nothing but a scared little boy who can't handle hoe extraordinarily ordinary you are!"
Then I did it…..
I kissed Kurt Hummel…..I kissed the boy whose life I'd made a living hell for being exactly what I was too afraid to admit, even to myself. It felt so good to release all the bottled-up tension I kept inside. He smelled like perfume, a sickeningly sweet perfume and he looked so soft even when pent up with rage. I grabbed him, pulling his face to mine in an angry kiss.
His hair was smooth to the touch and his lips were soft and warm. I could almost taste the hate he had for me at that moment, making me shiver from how ironically inviting and sweet it almost was. Kurt had seen through my façade of being a bully to the true person I was, just an ordinary guy with ordinary problems…..well ordinary as far as he'd known, up until this moment. Suddenly, I felt him tense up in my hands while I heard him gently gasp.
I pulled back from him with a small whimper. There was a mixture of pure fear, disbelief, and shock on his face. I then felt the urge to kiss him again. I wanted to,…..I needed to…I wanted to feel him close to me without harming him, without the usual source of contact, the slamming into lockers and slushies to the face kind. The kind Kurt was familiar with.
But this was different I wanted to be close to him by a different sense, a comfortable sense; a sense that wouldn't hurt..….
I leaned in again to kiss him again, to feel the release once more but Kurt pushed me away with a force that knocked me back into the reality that this was wrong…..what I was doing was so wrong. Kurt was shaking almost violently against the red lockers with his hand covering his mouth and his eyes fixated on my face with a look of fear. All of a sudden I hated myself for what I had done, I hated that I had wanted it so badly…
I gazed at him for second before slamming both my fists into the locker in a mix of anger and confusion…..almost like an unknown apology to him for what had just happened. Then I ran out…..it was all I could do.
What was I gonna do? I wasn't gay like him. I was a straight football player from McKinley High. No one was to ever find out. I'd deal with this myself….keep it from the whole world and it'll just go away…right?
I didn't see Kurt for the rest of the day, mainly because I avoided taking any route to my classes that even hinted that he'd ever be there. I wasn't ready to see his face, if I had people would probably have sensed that something was up by the way I would have stared…..it was too soon to make any contact with him.
But I did see him at the end of the day when we were all dismissed to our cars. I saw him climbing into his SUV, throw his things angrily into the next seat, and tear out of the parking lot; tires barking slightly. I sat and stared at my steering wheel, thoughts running wild within my head. I remained that way until I heard the loud pattering of rain on my windshield. The kiss flashed through me mind over and over and over again until I felt on the brink of tears
All I could think was what everyone would say if this ever got out…
What would my parents do?
My father would never accept this the way Kurt's father had. I would never have a life like that, that was so accepting and loving towards who I was if I was gay. Instantly, I was jealous of Kurt, angry at him for this. This was all his fault, he did this to me, he made me this way. I started my car and slammed on the gas, throwing little bits of loose gravel across the parking lot as I sped away.
As I made my way home I decided to act as if this thing had never happened and maybe Hummel would too
Later that night after dinner I felt it was time for me to go to sleep, I was tired and I guess sleep was the only thing I thought to relieve this stress.
The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes was the blank white ceiling, and I thought to myself that we had more in common than I realized….
Hey there it's Adiment lol I love Glee and this pairing is like my all time fav besides Finnchel lol
I worked really hard on this and its my first FanFic I've had in a while...Reviews plz plz plz
There will definitely be more to come…Enjoy