Lotor didn't know what to expect. He was tired, alone, and to be frank, his arms were quite sore after he dislocated his shoulders to get out of his bonds. Teaming up with the Paladins of Voltron, though it wasn't ideal, seemed to be his best option. After all, they had the Altean princess, and he was sure she'd be the key to finding more quintessence, thus ending this ridiculous war.
He'd been hailed by their leader and told which hangar to go to. As he flew in and the massive door shut behind him, he saw all of the Paladins waiting in a line, and for the first time in a while, he felt his heart twinge with nerves. He shook his head immediately, trying to get rid of the worrisome thoughts that immediately filled his head.
'The Paladins of Voltron are the representation of good,' he reminded himself. 'They are not like Zarkon.'
Lotor repeated this thought like a mantra in his head as he eased his ship down to rest on the metal surface. The Paladins hadn't moved an inch, and he noticed that the green one in particular had their arms crossed. Lotor allowed himself a small smile— it was rather amusing to see a small creature emanating such annoyance.
With his smile still intact, he pushed the button for the top of his ship to pop up. He rose from his chair elegantly, ignoring the pain in his arms as he did so. Stairs unfurled before him, and he heard the green paladin scoff. Lotor unwittingly raised an eyebrow as he walked down to meet the group. Why was his presence so particularly upsetting to the green paladin?
He reached the lineup of the Paladins and stood an appropriate distance away before he bowed his head. "Greetings, once again."
There was a shared look between them, and slowly but surely, the black paladin gave a nod before he took off his helmet. The group followed in sync: yellow, blue, pink (hmm, that wasn't right, what happened to the red paladin?), and finally-
Lotor's heart stopped.
It was like she took off her helmet in slow motion. The moment she did, her short bouncy hair came down in perfect little curls. She pulled a big pair of glasses out of her pocket and stuck them over large, honey colored eyes, sweeping her hair back out of her face as she did so.
He was awestruck, completely enthralled, and yet when her eyes met his, he saw indifference in them. Her posture still indicated that she wasn't thrilled upon his arrival, but she didn't hate him either. After all he'd done to antagonize them, this felt like an incredible victory.
"My name is Shiro," the black paladin said, and Lotor tried to snap himself back to attention as subtly as possible. "And this is our team. Hunk, Lance, Princess Allura, and Pidge."
Lotor acknowledged each one with a nod, but then offered a confused frown upon hearing the green paladin's name. "Do earthlings not bestow deference to their women?"
The black paladin— Shiro, he recalled— looked surprised. "I beg your pardon?"
"You referred to your teammate without her proper title," Lotor clarified. "If that is your custom, then I will make an exception, but it does lack a certain elegance, don't you think, Lady Pidge?"
She was raising an eyebrow at him now, her arms crossed once again. "Meh, doesn't make a difference to me," she said with a shrug, and Lotor suddenly felt like he was floating upon hearing her voice. "Just don't expect us to call you prince."
He chuckled, entirely charmed at her form of humor. "Fair enough."
Lotor supposed he should've expected this, but it was still quite irritating. From his glass cell, all he had to do was watch as each of the Paladins took shifts to guard him. Several times he was tempted to ask why they couldn't simply set up a camera to keep an eye on him, but he restrained himself for the sole reason that logic indicated that Lady Pidge should be on watch next.
After all, the other Paladins had each taken their turns, and it was only fitting that she, having been the only one not on watch duty yet, would soon come and relieve her fellow Paladin of their duties.
Thus, he waited patiently. He had no intentions of stirring up trouble or making a mockery of himself while she was around, if only to make a good impression on her.
He glanced up at the digital clock on the wall. Just a few more ticks…
Swish
And there she was, right on time.
The door closed behind her, and she made her way down the catwalk in perfect rhythm. When she arrived at his cell, she cast him a disinterested glance before she poked her colleague.
"C'mon, Lance, your shift is up," she said.
The blue paladin looked at her blearily before he slowly got up from his chair and stretched. "Thank quinzak, I hate sitting around forever."
She snickered. "I know how you feel, and that is why I brought this-!" and thus, she pulled out a device from the bag on her back.
Lance groaned. "Ugh, why didn't I think of that!"
"Beats me," she shrugged. "I'll see you later."
"See ya," the blue paladin called as he wandered away.
Lotor watched as she took her time to get settled in the chair, noting the fact that she was no longer wearing her paladin armor, but instead was in earthling clothes. She opened the device in her lap, and it cast a pale blue shadow over her. He thought the shade looked rather fetching, if he did say so himself.
He waited a few minutes in silence, wondering what would be the best course of action. Over the past several varga, he had decided to initiate the traditional Altean courting process with her— that much should've been obvious, given how enamored he was with her after only one meeting. He would take it slow, of course, and show nothing but respect for her and her wishes. And as charming as he was, surely it would not take long before she too wished to return the ideals of courtship, right?
Thus, Lotor cleared his throat lightly. "How are you doing on this fine day, Lady Pidge?"
Without looking up from her device, she mumbled, "Just fabulous."
Well, her tone certainly didn't indicate such a mood.
That's when he noticed that her cheerful demeanor when she walked in had faded into an annoyed little frown.
Lotor tilted his head at her. "What has soured your mood so? Not my presence, surely."
Lady Pidge raised an eyebrow at him. "No, surely not," she replied sarcastically. He gave her a curious look, and she sighed. "Just some new encryptions Shiro wants me to decode," she described vaguely. "It feels like they never stop coming in."
"I see," Lotor nodded.
Suddenly, she slapped her device shut. "Guess I should be paying attention to you, though," she said, scratching the back of her head guiltily. "Do you need anything? I think Hunk mentioned you denied food on the log, but I can't really remember."
He registered the fact that they were keeping a log on his wellbeing, but all he could focus on was her question toward him. "You should not be waiting on me," he scoffed. "That's entirely improper."
Lady Pidge rolled her eyes. "I'm not waiting on you— it's called being a decent human being. So do you want to eat or not?"
Lotor hesitated, flashbacks of Zarkon's abuse flitting through his head on an endless reel, but they stopped when he saw the concerned look in her eyes. She was being nice…and it was, well, nice.
"I admit, I would appreciate food very much," he finally nodded.
She hopped up from her seat and stretched. "Cool, I'll be back in a bit-"
"Wait!" he called out, then froze because he hadn't intended such a social gaffe, and he felt rather silly when she turned around to look at him.
"Yes?" she asked.
"I, ah-" he stumbled. "I think I would like to wait just a bit longer. Your company is…preferable to the silence."
Shrugging, she plopped back down in the chair. "Glad to be of service, your majesty," she drawled, her hand going up in a lazy faux salute.
He gave a semisweet laugh. "Please, none of that," he said as he sat down in his cell. He found that he liked being on the same level as her, rather than towering over. "I am sure my title of prince was stripped away the moment I sided with you lot. Please call me Lotor."
"If you want," she said noncommittally. "You don't have to do all the 'Lady Pidge' stuff, you know. We don't really have that on earth— well, unless you're British or something."
Lotor paused. He was unsure of how to respond. While he wanted to respect her culture, he couldn't find it in himself to betray his own. How could he not show complete deference to her, especially since he'd begun the rituals of courting?
She must have seen the conflict in his eyes, because she gave him a confused look. "Or you can keep calling me that if you really want to?" she said slowly.
He nodded seriously, and she gave a shrug. "Okay, that's cool."
He held back a sigh of relief. He didn't know what he'd done if he'd had to force himself to speak so candidly with her— he was sure his mother would be turning in her grave.
"-thus, I was trained by the best of the Galra empire-"
"Uhuh."
"Day and night, you never knew when they would strike-"
"Yup."
"It was the method that taught me to always be on my toes, to constantly be alert-"
"Sure."
"Though I'm not entirely sure if it was ethical to attack a teenage boy five to one-"
"Yeah."
"But regardless, I came out the victor, as always."
"Cool."
Lotor's story came to an end, and he finally turned to see the excitement that must surely be on his audience's face, but—
Nothing. She was staring down at her device, typing away as though his rousing tale of his training days was nothing worth her time. She must have realized that he was silent, because she blinked and looked up.
"Oh, you're done?" she questioned.
With as much strength as he could muster, he held in a sigh as he said, "Yes, I am." And to his utter despair, all she did was nod and return to her work.
He sank down to the floor of his cell, his heart feeling more bruised than any time he'd been beaten into submission. This had been a pattern for the last few sols, and he thought that surely this particular story would intrigue her.
What did he have to do to get her attention? Did she not want to know more about him? Did she not find his combat skills admirable? Was that not something she looked for in a potential mate?
Lotor felt completely stunted. He had plenty to offer: charm, eloquence, poise, strength, good looks, and intellect. How could none of that be attractive to her?
Perhaps earthlings looked for other qualities, he realized. But then, how was he supposed to know what she did and did not want? How could he find out? It seemed quite an impossible task unless he were to brazenly ask her, and that would be entirely improper.
Thus, he gazed at her longingly, wondering what on Altea he could do other than continue in the traditional methods and hoped she noticed.
It was his first time out of his cell, and he truly could not believe his luck. Seeing Lady Pidge walk toward him was exciting enough, but then to have the glass between them removed? Why, it was nothing short of a miracle.
He held in a delighted sigh as he trailed after her obediently. She'd mentioned something about a meeting on the bridge, but he frankly didn't care where they went— as long as she was the one guiding him, he would be compliant.
This little journey also afforded him the rare opportunity to admire her up close. He noticed the way her hair bounced when she walked, the fascination she held in her work, and how remarkable it was that she knew exactly when to take a turn in the castle's vast halls without once looking up.
In short, she was an incredible creature.
Finally, he decided to let his thoughts be known. "You look marvelous today, Lady Pidge."
She didn't look at him, her eyes staying focused on the screen in front of her. "Thanks, right back atcha."
He beamed, proud to have gained such a compliment from her even while she was absorbed in her tasks. And so, he decided to take one step further.
"The human form is quite fascinating, really," he stated. "Height varies so much from person to person, and yours is…unique."
She snorted. "We call it fun sized."
Lotor chuckled. "Fun, indeed. It is an admirable characteristic to be able to be jovial, such as yourself."
She looked up at his remark, a thoughtful frown on her face. "Mm, I don't know if people would call me 'jovial.' I'm just really sarcastic and like memes."
While he had no idea what these "memes" were, he nodded. "Regardless, it is evident that you bring a certain…lightheartedness to the team. It is obvious from your friends' reactions when you enter a room."
Now she was giving him a curious look. "You're chatty today," she observed.
"Well, it would be quite awkward to walk in silence," he replied, then glared down at the handcuffs on his wrists. "And besides, it gets my mind off these chains," he muttered.
Suddenly, there was a little nudge, and he registered the fact that she had brushed her shoulder against his arm. His jaw nearly dropped at such a familiar move, but all thoughts he had of impropriety melted away when he saw the sympathetic look in her eyes.
"I'm sorry about those," she told him. "I didn't think they were necessary, because you haven't done anything wrong so far and all that, but Shiro insisted." She was frowning, and her little hand reached forward to touch one of his. "Do they hurt?"
"N-No, not too much," he stuttered, gaping at her with wide eyes.
She nodded firmly, and sadly, her hand went back to her side. "Good. I won't make you wear them on the way back after the meeting— just don't tell anyone, okay?"
"I-," he started, then paused. This had to be worded delicately, he couldn't risk overstepping his boundaries— their courtship had so far to go. "It'll be our little secret," he said decidedly.
And he must have done something right, because Lady Pidge let out a laugh, and it was the most beautiful sound he ever heard.
It was the fourth meeting he'd had with the Paladins of Voltron, and already he was tired of them. Every time he would readily lend them information, they doubted his intentions. It was almost as though they didn't realize he had nothing to lose— he'd already lost everything.
Even worse, his beloved Lady Pidge— the one person who made these meetings bearable— was absent.
Lotor wanted to ask why, but given the defensive tone of every male in the room, he knew he'd have to find a much more subtle tactic. He glanced over at the maps the team was leaning over in discussion, suddenly noting how brash and brazen the entire operation seemed to be. And there was his in.
"This plan of yours seems to be lacking the feminine opinion, don't you think, Princess?" he inquired. The pink paladin gave him an unimpressed look, and he frowned. "Or perhaps Lady Pidge would be more vocal with her ideas, if only she were here."
Shiro gave him a wary glance. "Pidge is on Olkarion working to get their planet's defense systems ready. And the Princess can say what she wants when she wants— there are no rules against it here."
"I was not implying that there were," Lotor stated calmly, covering up his sadness at Lady Pidge's absence with ease. "I was merely suggesting she give her input— I'm sure she can see the flaws as easily as I can. Alteans were always known for being quite the strategists."
The team blinked at him, yet the Princess immediately followed his cue and studied the map. "…actually, he's right!" she gasped. "If we enter here, our position would be given away by the security drones!"
"And thus, you'd be facing an entire fleet within a few ticks," he pointed out.
Shiro's eyes shifted from cautious to embarrassed. "Whoops, wonder how I missed that," he laughed. Lotor narrowed his eyes at the black paladin, wondering exactly the same. But then Shiro was giving him a small smile. "Thank you, Lotor."
The former prince simply nodded and turned back to stare out at the stars. They would call upon him if he was needed, he knew that much. What he didn't know, or rather didn't understand, was why his courted was not with him. It was rather…discomfiting that she left without letting him know. And though she obviously did not need his permission to travel anywhere, it hurt that she had not considered to inform him of her activities.
Had he known, he could have wished her journey well with an Altean ritual. Then again, such an act would not have the same significance for her as it did for him.
Simply put, Lotor felt disheartened. He thought that they had made such progress— they now chatted regularly during her watch shift about a multitude of topics pertaining to his life, and did that not speak to her interest in him? Perhaps he was misreading it, though. Was she only being polite for his sake?
But no, how could that be when she had initiated contact with him over a week ago? She had indicated her permission to move to the next phase of their courtship, and that was a rite that only the female counterpart could give.
His heart and brain felt all scrambled together, and he began to wonder when he would ever truly understand his Lady Pidge.
There were approximately fifty ticks left until she arrived, and Lotor found that he was uncommonly nervous today. He knew that she was back— her quintessence was familiar enough for him to sense, especially since he had been feeling the lack of it for over a week now.
Thankfully for him, the yellow paladin did not seem to notice Lotor's distress. He sat there in silence, scrolling through a tablet and occasionally making comments to himself about different ingredients and chemical compounds.
Only ten ticks remained, and Lotor took in a steadying breath. He could not show weakness around his courted— he had to maintain his strength. He had to show that he was always worthy of her affections. No matter how long they were separated, he needed her to know that he would remain faithful to her and her alone.
Three, two, one-
She entered.
His heart swelled, and he struggled to keep down a gleeful smile.
She walked down the aisle with a skip in her step, and he allowed himself a small chuckle. He figured that she would be glad to see him, but he hadn't expected such a—
"Hey, Hunk!" she greeted cheerfully.
The yellow paladin jolted out of his chair. "Pidge! You're back!"
"Yeah, just got out of the cryopod," she laughed, coming forward and doing an intricate handshake with her team member. "My allergies did not agree with all those Olkarion trees."
Lotor felt shell shocked. Lady Pidge had yet to acknowledge him, deciding to hand over her full attention to her comrade rather than her courted. Lotor's heart began to wilt.
"How'd the nano-thermite tech hold up?" Hunk asked.
She shrugged. "Pretty okay, but I think I'm gonna work on it a bit more during my shift."
Her teammate gave her a wary look. "Are you sure? You just got back, Pidge. We can call someone else in-"
What happened next made Lotor's sadness turn to bright green envy.
She reached out and patted the yellow paladin on the arm. "I'll be fine, Hunk. See you at dinner, okay?"
Lotor hardly noticed that wretched man leave— he was too consumed with the raging storm of questions in his mind. Why did she ignore him? Why did she touch him? How did he manage to grasp her attention so easily?
The last question bothered him more than the previous. Lotor had to work so incredibly hard to get Lady Pidge's attention at any given time— so how did her teammate get it so effortlessly?
He cast his mind back to her entry, to their conversation— what tactic did the yellow paladin use? It wasn't charm, nor flattery. It wasn't a show of strength or elegance. No, he realized suddenly, earthlings must do things differently.
Then, it hit him— the yellow paladin had asked about her. He wanted to know about her trials, not regale tales of his own to make himself look impressive. He wanted to know about her well being, not cover up his own to make himself seem invincible. He wanted to acknowledge her work, not entail his own to make himself look worthy.
It all seemed to obvious now. Lotor's head practically shot up as he retreated from his musings and reentered reality. She was sitting in front of him, typing away at her device ceaselessly as usual.
How did he begin anew? Well…he supposed it should be simple.
Lotor cleared his throat lightly. "What are you working on, Lady Pidge?"
She gave him a dubious look. "…things?"
He hummed approvingly, fighting down a nervous stutter as he inquired, "What kind of things?"
"Computer things," she replied vaguely.
"I am afraid that was never my area of expertise," he chuckled. "Would you grant me the joy of an explanation?"
Her eyes showed surprise. "Oh yeah, sure if you want. Well, you see, it's this new tech I've been working on called nano-thermite—"
It was like a whole new world had been opened up before him. She rambled on for several vargas, and he found that with the eloquent yet simplistic way she explained things, he understood every word of it. Perhaps it was also easy to listen to because she was just exquisite to watch. Her honey eyes were brighter, her voice was animated, and a smile was constant on her face. It felt like he was truly seeing her for the first time.
He wanted it to last forever, but unfortunately, the door swished open, and he knew their time was up.
"Pidge, your shift is up," Shiro said as he walked up to the chair.
His courted blinked, and she looked at the clock for the first time in three vargas. "Wow, guess time flies when you're having fun," she laughed, and Lotor's heart gave a little skip. She'd been having fun with him!
Shiro chuckled, ruffling her hair in a brotherly manner. "I'm surprised our resident prince isn't asleep after listening to you explain quantum physics for so long."
Lotor raised his chin, feeling indignant at such an insinuation. "I was rather intrigued to learn about the Dirac wave equation, actually. I believe full understanding of the intricacies of our universe only enhance the beauty of it. Nothing could be further from boring."
Lady Pidge looked surprised at his detailed answer, but then she shot Shiro a smug look. "See? Someone gets it."
Lotor felt like he was floating on a cloud in Oriande.
After he unlocked the secret to Lady Pidge's heart, their courtship seemed to sail on smoother waters. Each day, she came for her usual shift, and each day, she would teach him something new. Those days were heaven for Lotor. He didn't care that he was in a cell. He didn't care that he was no longer a prince. He didn't care that he could be executed for high treason. He had his courted, and that was all he needed.
Then came the day he never expected.
She was trying to calm herself down after a laughing fit, and Lotor happily gave her all the time she needed. Apparently his lack of understanding in the realm of Earth geology was amusing to her.
"Quiznack, I haven't laughed like that in ages," she sighed, relaxing back into her chair. She tilted her head at him, and he recognized curiosity in her eyes. "You always listen to me talk forever, but you don't tell me much about your planet," she observed. "What kind of science do they have there?"
Lotor's eyes widened— she had never turned his inquiries back on him before. "Well, I suppose the question itself must first be examined. I don't consider Daibazal to be my true home— not after the crimes the Galra have committed. Altea is where I feel I would have belonged."
Lady Pidge gave him a sympathetic look. "Yeah, makes sense."
"As for science, our planet does not abide by the same rules yours does. Altea is much more-" he struggled to find the right word. "-magical in nature."
She gave a little snort. "I mean, I know you love your planet, but that sounds a bit biased."
Lotor chuckled. "It is indeed difficult to understand. All your forms of science could culminate to what we call alchemy."
"But I thought that alchemy was just voodoo nonsense?"
"Perhaps on Earth, but not on Altea," he corrected gently. "I'm sure you've seen the princess' use of it before."
Lady Pidge's eyes lifted in thought. "Yeah, I think so. I just didn't think it was actually magic. I thought she was connecting her quintessence to the energy of the crystal using the control pads as a medium to control it."
Lotor's eyes lit up. "You explained it beautifully," he told her truthfully, and she gave a shrug. "Not all Alteans have such abilities, but all of Altea abides— or rather, abided— by the full laws of alchemy. Magic and science were one, they could not be separated."
She tilted her head at him again. "It sounds like you miss Altea a lot."
"I remember visiting it often as a child," he reminisced. "There is nothing more beautiful. No other planet compares."
A new look of hesitation entered her eyes. "You…you really are on our side, aren't you?"
He couldn't deny the hurt in his heart, but he understood. Even if they were going through the process of courting, he was still their prisoner and former antagonizer. It would take decapheebs to build trust.
Lotor's eyes fell to the ground in humility. "I still fight for the salvation of my race, therefore I cannot say that I am on your side," he replied, then upon seeing the disappointed look in her eyes, continued, "But…whatever side you take, I will gladly follow."
Lady Pidge smiled brightly. "Good!" she said. Suddenly, she reached for her comm and pressed a button. "Shiro! He said it!"
The door swished open, and Lotor gasped. The entire crew was there, listening with approving expressions.
His courted nodded at them, then turned back and gave him an apologetic look. "Sorry, in order to get you out of the cell, they said I had to get you to say you were on our side. It was the only thing I could get them to agree on."
His heart felt like it would burst. She had petitioned for his release? How long had she been planning it?
Lotor watched in a daze as the Paladins walked forward. Shiro handed Lady Pidge a key card, and she stepped up to the glass with an excited grin. She swiped the key card, and suddenly, the glass between them slid away.
And all he could do was blink.
"You can move now," she teased.
He blinked again. "W-Wait, where- where will I stay? Where are the chains? Is there a meeting?"
Lady Pidge shook her head and took his hand. "Nope, I'm taking you to your room. Come on," she prodded, tugging lightly.
Suddenly, it all hit him at once, and her words sunk in. He attempted to take his hand from hers in protest. "That's hardly appropriate!" he exclaimed.
She rolled her eyes. "Do you want to be out of the cell or not?"
Lotor paused. "…yes."
His courted nodded. "Then I'm showing you to your room, got it?" All he could do was nod back.
He followed her silently, completely missing the wary looks of the Paladins as they passed. And if he was honest, he didn't register the fact that she held his hand the entire way to the room until a varga after.
Lotor found that living among the Paladins was…rather acceptable.
The blue paladin, Lance, held him at arm's length for some time. That is, until the night Lotor stumbled across him shouting at a screen and he asked why. Lance took it upon himself to acquaint Lotor with these "video games," and thus a bond was formed.
The black paladin, Shiro, too was distant. He would listen to Lotor's advice during meetings, and would nod civilly in the halls, but that was about it. Considering their relationship was a necessity more than a kinship, it would do.
The pink paladin, Princess Allura, was more receptive, but still cautious. She and Lotor would chat about their memories of Altea over meals, and it was a pleasant enough way to pass time that would have otherwise been silent. Her advisor was also keen on joining in on their conversations, but he was not subtle with his suspicious glances toward the former prince.
The yellow paladin, Hunk, was the most preferable (besides his courted, of course). The man always sought Lotor out, and his efforts to make him feel included were much appreciated. Hunk was similar to Lady Pidge in his pursuits of knowledge, though they were quite different.
"Uhhh, what did you call this again?" Hunk questioned, holding up the bottle of bright pink leaves.
Lotor took one look and chuckled. "Mlyir, native to the Zeta planets."
"Oh yeah, right," Hunk said. Lotor watched as the paladin took one of the leaves out and put it in his mouth, then grimaced. "Why is it so salty?!"
Lotor raised an eyebrow. "What is…salty?"
Hunk opened his mouth to answer, but the sound of footsteps outside the kitchen made them turn to see who it was. Lady Pidge rounded the corner, and Lotor's heart swelled at the feeling of his courted's quintessence so near to his again.
"Hey, you two," she greeted tiredly.
"Good evening, Lady Pidge," Lotor returned, inclining his head.
"Hey, Pidge!" Hunk called.
She looked around at the ingredients scattered about on the counter. "What are you guys doing?"
"Oh, just making dinner," Hunk said with a shrug.
It occurred to Lotor that this was the next step in their courtship— group activities. Thus, Lotor cleared his throat and made full eye contact with her. "Would you care to join us in our preparations?"
"I wish," she groaned. "Shiro and Allura just called me down to the bridge. It's like no one even knows how to work an iPhone around here."
Lotor nodded understandingly, even though he had no idea what this "eye-fone" could be. "Right, well, I hope your meeting with them is successful."
Pidge gave a little snort. "Thanks. I'll see you guys for supper."
"See ya!" Hunk called out as Lotor nodded regally. He turned back to his work, reaching out for her quintessence as she slowly but surely faded away.
Though his time with her had increased since he had been let out of his cell, it was still never enough. She was always busy, always working, always being called out on mission. Lotor longed for the day where it could be just the two of them. No war to fight, no others vying for her attention: just him and his beloved Lady Pidge.
He often dreamed of what that day would be like. He would treat her like the princess she would've been if he still had his title, and she would give him the love he so desperately needed. They could find a quiet planet to settle down on, and they would travel the galaxy as educators and peace keepers. She would be a shining light to all they encountered, and everyone would see the beauty in her that he saw.
Yes, it would be perfect…if only they could get there.
Lotor sighed, turning to cut up the ingredients Hunk had laid out for him. Sometimes it felt like they were so close, and then other times…they couldn't be farther apart if she was back on Earth and he was on Oriande.
He knew he had to do something. He knew he had to make a move. But did he dare to dishonor the traditional way for fear of losing her?
The thought haunted him for several sols, leading him to the very moment he faced now. His courted was sat at her science station in her hangar, and he was looking over her shoulder as she worked. And for once, they were completely alone.
Though he seemed calm from the outside, his heart was out of control, and his mind was spinning. An opportunity like this was rare, and he knew he needed to take advantage of it.
But there was genuine fear in his heart. What if she denied him? Worse, what if she accepted his offer? Where would they go from there?
Lotor forced himself to put aside his anxious thoughts. If he wanted her, then this was what he had to do. It was a small price to pay for a woman like her.
Thus, he stepped back a modest distance from her and cleared his throat. She glanced back at him, and upon seeing the serious look on his face, stood up from her chair.
"What's up?" she asked, worry etched into her frown.
He swallowed nervously. "I- well," he started. This was it, he realized. This was the moment that would decide their future. With that in mind, he pressed forward. "I was wondering if you might like to go on an…outing of sorts. We do rarely get time to enjoy the planets we visit."
She gave him what he had recently defined as "that look" — a mixture of sarcastic amusement and dubious confusion. "Yeah, let me know when a good time for a picnic would be in the middle of a war."
Lotor couldn't stand it any more. His affections for her grew stronger every day, and he thought he was showing them in an appropriate manner, yet all he received was her consistent refusal of his heart.
Now, as he looked at her still giving him "that look," he knew what he had to do. Forget the rules of Altean courting, forget the formalities— if they were going to get anywhere, he had to tell her the truth.
Lotor let out a deep sigh. "Lady Pidge, I must be honest with you," he stated firmly.
Pidge raised an eyebrow at him. "Go on?"
He nodded. "W-Well, ah," he stuttered. Her curious gaze was too much, and he had to look down at the ground in order to continue. "Your constant brushing aside of my attempts to court you have been bruising to my dignity, indeed. I am sure I have made my affections for you quite clear, yet you continue to avoid confiding in me your own. I cannot at all tell if you take the same interest in me that I do in you."
Pidge blinked at him. "Huh?"
"Am I not fit to be someone of your interest?" he asked desperately. "Because I strive to be, and I do believe I have given you every opportunity to evaluate my character. So what is it— what do you find fault in with me?"
She blinked again, then scrunched up her nose. "Well, for starters, you're too tall-"
"Wh-what?" he stammered.
"You're too tall," she stated factually. "You're like, two feet taller than me, and that'd never work out. Plus the fact that you're an alien, and I don't know how I feel about long distance relationships. Not to mention the fact that your hair is prettier and longer than mine, and that's not a problem, but it probably makes you out of my league."
He raised a delicate eyebrow at her. "Out of the league? I am not familiar with that phrase."
"Out of my league," she repeated, shrugging. "Just means you'd be better off dating someone more in your class or whatever— someone who can talk fancy and stuff like you do."
Lotor chuckled bashfully. "And here I believed you were out of my league entirely," he said, and he noticed her look of surprise. "Though I do think we often put those whom we admire on a pedestal of sorts."
Lady Pidge tilted her head a bit. "Yeah, I guess so." An alarm sounded from her pocket, and she turned to check what it was. She grimaced when she read the message, then gave him an apologetic look. "Attack's imminent. I gotta go."
He felt consumed with so many emotions all at once— anxiety, fear, embarrassment, concern, abandonment— that all he could do was settle for giving a simple nod.
She turned to leave, and before he realized what he was doing, he shouted, "Wait!"
Her eyes were wide when she looked back at him.
"I…" he trailed off. There were a million things he wanted to say, but what could he? His heart felt shattered, but his brain hadn't caught up to what had happened yet.
Lotor swallowed. "I will await your return. Be safe, Lady Pidge."
Now her eyes held a silent apology. What for exactly, he wasn't sure, and he half thought that she wasn't either.
What happened next, he never really knew. They just seemed to…drift apart slowly. Nothing in particular made this happen, it simply was.
Lotor liked to tell himself that he'd never been in love with her— that made the pain of their separation easier. No, he never loved her. He'd just been enamored, enthralled, enticed. She was the fairytale he'd created in his mind, and he'd learned long ago to never put your hope in day dreams.
But regardless of his broken heart, his respect for her remained constant. He watched from afar as she grew— in age, in height, in prominence. She grew to be the exact woman he always knew she was, and with time, everyone else saw it, too. Including one man in particular.
His fist clenched when he got the wedding invitation, but for her sake, he said yes. And he went, and he didn't cause a scene, and he gave her his congratulations. Don't ever ask him if he threatened her husband or not— he'll deny it in a heartbeat, even if he knows you know the truth.
Even worse, he'll never tell anyone why he never got married himself. There were plenty of options, especially after the Paladins made his contributions to ending the war known to the entire universe. But no, he could never settle for anyone less than her, so he never did.
They could never compare to his Lady Pidge anyways.