AN: Written for a prompt on comment_fic at livejournal. Prompt was: Supernatural, they find a magical object they can't resist using

The hearing trumpet - a long funnel-like thing that you put to the ear to hear better - was enchanted, according to Bobby. Put it up to your ear, and you will only hear people say what you want them to say.

"Should we be worried about using it?" Sam asked over the phone.

"You idjits pretty much hear whatever you want to hear anyway," Bobby grumbled.

As soon as they hung up, Dean tried it out. He held it up to Sammy who said, "Dean, that doesn't seem like a good idea."

Dean heard, "Dean, I'm going to listen to everything you say because you are so fucking cool, now let's go get some hot dogs and cheese fries and you're the best big brother ever."

Dean looked at the hearing trumpet and said, "You dick! That's not what I needed to hear, I'm not like that!"

Sam rolled his eyes. "I don't want to know. Look, let's call Cas and ask him to put it in some mountain or on the moon with that robot head, or wherever it is he puts stuff when we need to get rid of it."

Dean dialed Cas on his cell and soon Cas was standing there. But before Sam could object, Dean put the hearing funnel up to Cas' ear and said, "You know, Cas, you still act like a dick sometimes but I think you'll loosen up if we go to a strip club, maybe try again at getting you laid."

Cas frowned and said, "Dean, I feel the same way sometimes, but I do not think it would be wise for you and I to have sex with each other. Even though I am grateful that you would give up drinking for me. And that you dream about what I taste like." He then left, as quickly as he arrived, leaving Sam to stare at Dean and Dean to avoid looking at Sam.

"Dude, that's what Cas secretly wants to hear from you?" Sam said.

"Shut up. You're such a little bitch."

Sam sighed and took the hearing trumpet away and listened through it. "Say that again, Dean."

"I said, you're right, Sam, about a lot of things. I'm going to stop acting like a man-boy jackass now."

The phone rang then and Sam answered it.

"Sam?" the caller said, "Bobby again. Just called because I forgot to remind you boys that I love you like sons. And it turns out drinking demon's blood is good for you after all."

Sam removed the hearing funnel quickly so he could hear what Bobby was really saying: " - and don't forget when you destroy the thing, to burn its parts when you're done!"

"Oh, we should destroy it?" Sam said.

"Of course!" Bobby said.

"But you said we just hear what we want to hear anyway," Sam said.

"And you IDJITS TOOK THAT TO MEAN USE THE FRICKING ENCHANTED OBJECT! I'M USED TO BEING RIGHT, BUT DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME THAT RIGHT?"

"Sorry, Bobby," Sam said, thought briefly of putting the hearing trumpet to the mouthpiece of the phone so Bobby could hear whatever he wanted, and thought better of it. Bobby would yell no matter what he heard.

"So... Bobby says destroy it?" Dean guessed.

"Yeah," Sam said, "He says smash it and light the parts on fire."

"Hack and burn," Dean said with a grin, "Now that's what I like to hear."