This fic was inspired by the song 'Caught in the Crowd' by Kate Miller-Hiedke
I did not write Harry Potter, obviously. All props go to J.K Rowling.
I also do not own the Sex Pistols.
This is unedited so sorry for any mistakes, let me know and I'll fix them.
Rose sighed as she walked into detention. How was it even possible for Head Girl to be punished, this was ridiculous. She made her way over to her seat, making it apparent that she didn't want to be there. As she sat down she surveyed the room and was pleased, there was no one else there. Good, she didn't have to spend her time dodging questions about what 'reckless act' had got her into this mess. She contemplated the many different ways she could punish Albus as she tried to make herself comfortable. This was his fault and there was no way she was letting him get away with it easily, just because the Headmistress had a soft spot for him and his friends. Rose glared at the professor at the front, directing all her anger at Albus to him for the time being. This was, until, the door opened and Rose sighed. Great, probably one of the usuals, who would no doubt give her hell.
Rose's mild annoyance turned to sheer panic when she spotted the almost white hair of the tall boy. "No," she thought "anyone but him. Please Merlin, not Scorpius Malfoy." Rose looked away as Scorpius sat in the seat next to her, avoiding any possible gaze. She couldn't be in the same room as him, she tried very very hard to avoid him. She couldn't bare it. Not after what she'd done.
It was Christmas break of Rose's fourth year at Hogwarts and she was heading to her secret reading place. Rose had found the secluded spot in the Astronomy Tower in first year, when she had been exploring the Castle one night she couldn't sleep. It was the perfect spot to read without being disturbed by her cousins, who she loved to death, but annoyed the hell out of her.
Having made the long journey up the many twists and turns, she was looking forward to enjoying her new book when she rounded the final corner and stopped in her tracks. There was someone in her spot.
Confused, she turned on the light, taking in the tall boy with white blonde hair, hugging his knees to his chest, sitting in the far corner. At the change in light, he looked up, his grey eyes showing nothing but fear. Scorpius Malfoy. She had seen him around school, he was always alone.
Rose stood there for a moment, before offering him a kind smile and sitting down on the closest pile of pillows, making herself comfortable before she started reading. After a while she couldn't shake the feeling of Scorpius' gaze, so she looked over to see him staring at her, a mix of confusion and apprehension written on his face. Rose gave him another small smile, doing her best to reassure him that it was okay that he was here, that she wasn't going to yell at him. She did all this without speaking, because she felt that the right now, Scorpius needed silence.
Scorpius seemed reassured enough, as he relaxed slightly, closing his eyes, but still hugging his body like he was trying to protect himself from something that wasn't there. Rose went back to reading her book and they sat in somewhat comfortable silence for what felt like hours.
Eventually, Scorpius stood up and headed for the stairs, but just before he descended, he turned around, drawing Rose's attention. "I'm Scorpius" he said, trying to muster up a small smile.
"Rose" she replied, smiling warmly.
The Professor at the front of the classroom droned on about how he was trusting them to behave and how he would be back at the end of the detention, but he was putting a charm on the door so he would know if they decided to leave. Rose knew she should've been paying attention, but all she could focus on was the boy sitting next to her.
It became a regular thing for Scorpius to hang out in Rose's, or now Rose's and Scorpius's hidden place. They hardly ever talked, usually sitting in comfortable silence while they both read, or Rose read and Scorpius slept.
Rose noticed that Scorpius spent his break times walking around the grounds of the school. She had originally thought he enjoyed the view, but then she noticed how people always yelled names at him in the halls, calling him a loser, telling him he was weird, a disgrace to his family's name. He never responded to any of their remarks, never tried to deny them or stick up for himself. Rose understood that Scorpius walked around the grounds to get away from the bullies, but she thought he might like some company, so one day she joined him.
They'd been walking for a few minutes when Scorpius asked her "Why were you at school over Christmas break? Don't you have a huge family to spend it with?"
"I prefer to spend the time alone"
Scorpius looked like he thought she was lying.
Rose sighed, contemplating the question for a moment, before deciding that Scorpius was okay to confide in, he wouldn't tell anyone.
"My family is really tense at the moment, Mum, Dad and Uncle Harry are battling quite a lot of lawsuits from people who fought in the war. I don't really know what they're about, just that they're trying their hardest to keep them out of the news. It's putting a lot of strain on our relationships though. My parents and I have never been close, I feel like I can never please them, but now, we hardly speak, because they just don't have time for me. They still talk to Hugo though. He's always had a better relationship with them. But yeah, I decided to stay here for Christmas instead of going home with everyone else, because I just couldn't handle the tension."
It was silent for a few moments before Scorpius spoke. "My father and I have never been close either. He is disappointed by me, the people here are right. I am a disappointment, a disgrace to my family. My father and I, we always fight when we're together. My mother tries to intervene but it always gets out of hand. I've learnt it's better to just stay here for the holidays and when I do have to go home, to spend as much time as possible avoiding my father."
Rose wasn't sure how to respond, so she took Scorpius' hand and squeezed it gently, before releasing it again. They walked in silence for a while longer until Rose started talking about music. Scorpius talked about all his favourite bands and even laughed along with Rose when she mentioned a muggle band called the Sex Pistols. They both agreed that it was a silly name.
The bell rang, putting an end to their discussion, but Scorpius looked happier as he walked back up to the Castle.
The Professor left the room, muttering to himself. Rose chanced a glance over at Scorpius, only to see him staring at her. Looking at his face for the first time in years, she couldn't help but see the hurt there.
It was a normal afternoon at Hogwarts. Rose was in fifth year, a prefect, thank you very much. As she was exiting her last class of the day, she heard a noise up ahead and pushed through the crowd to see what was going on.
Scorpius was crowded by three Slytherin guys and they were pushing him around. As Rose watched, they shoved him to the ground.
"You aren't even worthy of your name Malfoy"
"A Malfoy, in Ravenclaw, what a joke"
"No one wants you Malfoy. No one likes you"
Scorpius struggled to get up but they pushed him back down. No one was stepping in to help. Rose was paralysed.
"You don't have any friends Malfoy." One boy sneered as he punched Scorpius in the face.
"No one loves you Malfoy, you could die and no one would notice." Another boy laughed, kicking Scorpius in the ribs.
"We could kill you right now and no one would care." The last boy said with a wicked smile, kicking Scorpius in the head and kneeing him in the stomach.
Scorpius looked around desperately, trying to ignore the boys as they continued to taunt and beat him. As he looked through the crowd his eyes landed on Rose, whose face was displaying absolute fear.
"ROSE!" Scorpius called out as loud as he could.
This shout was loud enough to knock Rose out of her paralysed state, she looked into Scorpius' eyes, when she noticed that everyone had turned to look at her. She could tell what they were thinking, all looking to see if she would go help the weird boy that nobody liked. People already thought she was weird, what would happen if they saw her help Scorpius, she would be a social outcast and just when she was starting to fit in.
Rose tore her eyes away from Scorpius' and backed away slowly, before turning and walking away.
As she walked down the corridor, she heard a teacher come out and stop the boys, obviously having heard Scorpius' shout. But she couldn't focus on that. All she could see was the look of hurt and betrayal evident in Scorpius eyes and the way the tears were running down her face and she broke into a sprint and headed for her room, vowing never to go back to her secret place again.
Rose couldn't take her eyes away from Scorpius', all the memories that she had tried to bury flooding back to her. She was immediately hit with the sudden urge to cry, to sob her heart out, but she knew that wasn't fair. No matter how much she had hurt herself, it would never compare to how much she had hurt Scorpius.
Rose opened her mouth, to say what, she didn't know, but she found that she couldn't get any words out. She just sat there with her mouth open, trying to find a way to say something, anything.
"I never went back there." Scorpius' words startle Rose. She'd expected him to never talk to her again. It took her a moment to figure out what he was talking about, then another moment to will her voice to work.
"Neither" is all she managed.
Scorpius nods then turns back to the front. Rose continues to stare at him until she can't take it. The words just come tumbling out.
"Scorpius" her voice sounds wrecked, which is understandable, she's on the verge of tears. "I'm so sorry. I was young and stupid and caught in the crowd. I didn't understand what I was doing. What it would do to you. What it would do to me. I didn't think straight. I thought only about myself, about how people would see me. I didn't understand why it hurt me so much to see you… to see you so broken. I didn't understand why you were so important to me. I didn't understand that you needed me. I certainly didn't understand that I needed you. I was too concerned for my own pride that I didn't even take into account how you would feel. I always knew they bullied you, I never knew it was so brutal. I just, I couldn't handle it, I didn't know how to fix it, so I ran. I ran and I didn't stop running. I knew you would never want to see me again, I knew what I had done as soon as I left. I knew I had made the worst choice of my life and I can never express to you how sorry I am. I can never express how much I regret the choice I made. If I could go back and do it again, I would change everything. I would help you. I would never let you down. I even looked into trying to get a time turner. But it would never be okay. I would never feel the same. I know you will never believe me. I know you could never accept my apology, because if I was you, I wouldn't, but I just, I need you to know that I am so so sorry and I would do anything to have not done what I did. To have not destroyed the only good thing in my life. To not have ruined your trust. To not have hurt you so much. I just, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"
Rose had dissolved into a mess of tears, her 'I'm sorry's' were hardly audible over her sobs. She brought her knees up to her chest, hugging them tight. She knew that if this was any other situation, she'd be mortified, but she needed Scorpius to know how much she regretted her decision, how sorry she was.
There was a pause, before she felt arms around her, pulling her close. Scorpius had pulled her into his lap and was holding her and she sobbed, rubbing her back. Rose wrapped her arms around Scorpius' neck, holding him tight.
Eventually Rose came to her senses, having calmed down enough to think. She was in Scorpius' arms. Scorpius was holding her and comforting her. After she had just admitted to doing the worst thing she had ever done. This was wrong.
"What are you doing? You can't do this, I hurt you! You shouldn't be comforting me! You should be hating me!" Rose exclaimed, trying to pull away.
"Shh, shh, Rose, it's okay" Scorpius said, pulling Rose close.
"No! It is not okay! Why don't you hate me"
Scorpius sighed and pulled back, looking Rose in the eyes.
"I did hate you, for a long time. I would imagine your face as you turned away every night before I went to sleep. You were the only person I had and you left me. But when the anger died down, I finally saw the look in your eyes. You were afraid. I know you, I knew that fear wasn't for yourself. It was for me. You didn't know how to stop the situation and that scared you. You didn't know how to protect me, how to save me from those people. You didn't know what to do. Sure, there may have been a little worry for yourself, that's probably how your brain convinced you to leave. But really, you just couldn't watch me get hurt when you knew you couldn't help. You were 15 and confused and you didn't understand that while you didn't know what to do, not doing anything was worse than trying and failing. So no, I don't hate you, I couldn't hate you, because even though it still hurts, I know that if it were now, you would make the right choice. You've grown as a person, I can see that, you're an even better person than you were when we first met. When I was the scared little boy, hiding in a dark corner and you smiled at me, you helped me out into the light. Sometimes I think I owe my life to you, because even though you've made mistakes, you saved me."
Rose searched Scorpius' eyes, obviously finding what she was looking for, throwing her arms around Scorpius, pulling him close and burying her face into his neck.
"I'm sorry"
"Rose, I know, I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago, now I just need to wait for you to forgive yourself."
"I promise I will never leave you again" came the muffled response, tickling Scorpius' neck.
Scorpius laughed, "Don't make promises you can't keep, little one."
Rose pulled back and looked into Scorpius' eyes, holding his gaze. "I promise I will never leave you again" she said again.
"I don't think I could let you leave again." Scorpius said, smiling.
"You're smiling a lot more than you used to."
"Why don't you like it?"
"No, I like your smile, but I was just wondering why."
"You, Rose Weasley. You make me smile."