A/N: Mine and my (probably soon to be) ex-girfriend's 4 month mark is tomorrow, so I decided to write some sadstuck. Enjoy the artistic juices of my misery *bows*

John couldn't take it anymore. His Dad had died because of his choice to play that stupid game. And now that the game was over, he felt so alone. Sure he went out with his troll and human friends a lot, but more and more lately he seemed to linger in the back of the group, his shoulders sagging and a frown on his face as he stared blankly at the carpet.

He walked through the empty house, glancing around at the mess of smuppets and troll romcom posters. The place was decent enough. It was one story, and had 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. John walked by Karkat's door and a ghost of a smile came on his face at the giant piece of paper that read:

KARKAT'S ROOM
KEEP THE FUCK OUT STRIDER

John walked past it into the kitchen. He didn't exactly know what he was looking for but he would know it when he saw it. He pulled open the fridge, and shut it almost instantly. He was never hungry anymore. He walked around the kitchen, opening and closing every cabinet and drawer until he came upon the one that held the scissors.

He slowly pulled them out, his gaze transfixed on the silver as the light shone off it. He laces his fingers through the handle and separates the two blades, a slight shiver going down his spine as a light shhhhink sounds. These must be a new pair, perfect.

He holds them for a minute, debating his decision. Dave's working shorter hours this week, so if he doesn't want Dave asking questions, he'll have to hide his...aha! John runs to his room and shuts the door, sitting on the bed with an umph.

Slowly, he pulled up his shorts to reveal pale thighs in the dim light. He had never done this before, but he heard somewhere that it makes you feel good. Nervously he opened the scissors again and dragged one of the blades across his thigh. He lets out a very faint hiss and pulls the scissors away, surveying his leg. Crimson blood begins to pool over the cut and suddenly John feels a little of the black clouds over him begin to move away. He smiles for the first time in months and brings the blade back down to his leg, cutting again and again, each time feeling a little lighter as the unseen force is lifted from his shoulders.

After both of his thighs are cut up and he's stopped the bleeding, he hears the door open and close as Dave comes home from work.

"Hey John, I'm back...You awake?" He calls through the house. John quickly shoves the blood stained towel under his bed and Dave opens the door. John smiles up at him, hoping Dave can't somehow read his mind. Dave takes a few steps in and looks around the neat room. They usually don't go into each other's rooms, so this was rare for Dave to see it up close. He shook his head and turned to John.

"So how was your day? Or did you just wake up?" John rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

"I actually got up not too long ago... Say, what's for dinner?" Dave let out a small sigh and sat on John's bed, shifting it and making John's thighs burn as he tensed up.

"Ask Karkat when he gets back, it's his turn to make dinner today." John smiles at him cheerfully, nodding his head.

"Okay!"

~Raeeeeeeeee

Karkat slams the door behind him and leaves behind a trail of curses as he makes his way to his room. John gets up and heads for Karkat's door, knocking lightly.

"The FUCK do you want?" John cringes before replying.

"I just- can I come in?" Karkat sighs at the other side of the door before muttering, "Fine, come in." John opens the door slowly and enters Karkat's room. All along the walls are romcom posters, just like outside. His sickles are in one corner, looking like he just threw them there, and his- what did he call it? A recuperacoon?- was along the far wall. "Well?" John turns to Karkat. "What the fuck do you want Egbert?" John takes a few more steps into the room so he is in front of the troll. "I just...uhm... What's for dinner?"

Karkat lets out an exasperated sigh, rubbing his temples. "Whatever I decide to fucking cook. It's not even time for dinner so why the fuck does it matter?" John looks at the ground, "Uhm... I guess it doesn't, sorry." He leaves the room, careful to shut the door behind him.

Today was John's birthday, but it seemed no one remembered. He didn't care though, he was used to it. He numbly walked back to his room, shutting the door almost inaudibly. He sat heavily on his bed and took the scissors he hid under his covers to examine them. The blade had a little blood on it, and he just stared unseeing at the red-on-silver until he heard a knock at the door. He put the scissors back under his blanket quickly.

"Come in." He said flatly. Dave walked in looking a little embarrassed. He sat next to John and looked at him, John giving him a nervous glance. He was sitting right on the scissors, but Dave didn't seem to notice. "I just looked at my calendar and saw it's your birthday..." He rubbed the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at John. "Yeah, and...?" John inquired. He stared at his palms in his lap.

"If you want to go out to dinner, I can talk to Karkat for you..." He looked at John questioningly. John made eye contact with him, giving him a fake smile that hurt his chest. "Sure, that'd be fun." Dave got up and started for the door. "Cool, and I'll call the others to come over too." John just nodded as Dave closed the door, leaving to talk to Karkat. Within minutes he heard arguing coming from Karkat's room. He got up and headed for his door, putting an ear to the wall. He only caught parts of the conversation.

"We don't have the fucking money for anything special right now you ass."

"Come on, it's the guys birthday."

"No Dave, we don't have the fucking money."

"But what if I-"

"No, you already have two jobs, you don't need a third." It was true. Dave had two jobs. In the day he worked at a coffee shop, and at night he was a DJ at a club. Karkat worked at a library all day, which was ironic considering how loud he could be. John was the only one without a job. Dave was being overprotective of him, saying that he could take as much time as he want and he didn't need a job. He was convinced that John's dad's death was still affecting him, which was true.

John knocked on the door and the shouting stopped. He opened the door and looked at the ground as he said quietly, "We don't have to go out, I'm fine doing nothing." Dave turned to him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "No bro, we're celebrating your birthday." He turned to Karkat, "Is that clear?" Karkat just huffed and turned back to his laptop. "Sure, whatever. Just don't come complaining to me when the bills come and we can't fucking pay for the place."

John looked from Karkat to Dave, and then fixed his glance at the ground. "I can get a job too..." Dave just hugged him, saying into his ear, "No you don't. You don't need a job. We're okay. Okay?" John just nodded and Dave let him go. Karkat was grimacing at them when John looked. John turned to leave the room but was stopped when Dave caught his wrist. He turned around to see Dave glancing at him over his shades, worry in his ruby eyes.

"Hey Egbert, are you okay?" John faked a smile and replied, "Yeah, I'm fine, just a little tired." Karkat got out of his seat and walked over to them. "Are you sure dumbass? You don't look okay to me." John just nodded and released his arm from Dave's grip, heading back to his room and shutting the door softly. Dave and Karkat shared a worried look and glanced back at John's door. He definitely wasn't okay.