Dorian could not believe he got through. He threw all the magic he had at the eluvian to get to his friend. He hated feeling sweat on his mustache and he was sure that he looked a wreck, but he knew his dearest friend was in trouble and worse yet, her heart was broken. He could see Solas entering the eluvian on the other side and his friend crumbled in a ball, clutching her limp anchor arm. Dorian did not like crying in front of people, his father drilled it into his head to carry himself with composure at all times. She looked broken, and in turn, it was breaking him. He ran to her fighting back the determined tears that threatened to prickle his lower lid. Her small elven body felt limp in his arms, but he hoisted her and carried her back through the eluvian.
Solas must have changed the pathways because on the other side was the Winter palace and then with a spark, the eluvian was nothing more than a golden mirror. Divine Victoria leaped up from her place on the floor where she awaited Dorian's return. The Iron Bull never looked worried but he was, both for Kadan and the Inquisitor. Dorian never let the Inquisitor on to how much she meant to him, but Bull knew. Though Ben-Hassrath was behind him, he could read Dorian like a splayed open book. Leliana was standing poised, hands clasped firmly behind her back until she saw Dorian carrying the wreck of what she believed to be the Inquisitor. She could see that the Inquisitor's brown arm, usually glowing and sparking, was now limp and blackened.
"What happened?" Cassandra's firm voice was softer and her accent made the words seem like a sad song rather than a pressing question.
"No time, she needs attention." Dorian rooted his voice in in the ground beneath him and it echoed in the mirror chamber. Bull approached and held out his own arms to take the limp broken body away from Dorian, but he pushed forward. Leliana rushed out ahead, leading the way to the nearest place they could lay the Inquisitor to rest. Cassandra was shortly at Leliana's heels, hoping that seeing the Divine would make people clear their path. The Inquisitor needed magic, healing, and a miracle. Dorian held his own breath at times, to listen for hers. He imagined she would be heavier especially because she was thicker than most of the elves he has seen. Her shape rivaled those of the shapeliest human women he had ever come across. He briefly wondered if this is what attracted Solas to her, but thinking of him made the magic of fire spark briefly at the end the staff on his back. It was no longer about Solas, it was about the mangled soul he left behind. He only hoped Serrine would fight to live on and not surrender to her obliterated heart.
In no time at all, they came to a lavishly decorated private sitting room on the outskirts of the palace. Dorian gently placed the Inquisitor on the gold embroidered cushions of the chaise lounge and quickly began with the healing magic. Bull stood at the doorway watching on and Leliana was getting all the parts of the story that she could from Cassandra. Cassandra tried to keep strong but seeing her dear friend this way put a quiver in her voice that she couldn't shake, though she tried clearing her throat several times. Without breaking his gaze from Serrine, Dorian shouted "Someone get Vivian. I need help." Cassandra and Leliana separated in opposite directions at his command, hoping that splitting up would help them locate her faster.
Healing magic swirled and glistened in the air above Serrine, shrouding her in dazzling light. Her beautiful rounded cheeks, large slightly puckered lips and straight nose were accentuated by the bright light and deep shadows caused by the light of the magic. Her silver-blue hair was braided and it was laid over her chest and stomach, the tied end resting on her hip bone. With his magic, Dorian could feel how bad she really was, and with his love for Dorian, Bull could sense how much he was hurting. Dorian's hands moved and swayed over her like he was conducting a symphony.
Soon, the rapid clacking of Madame de Fer's heels on the stone of the palace grounds could be heard approaching. Vivian did not agree with the Inquisitor on most of her views on magic and the circle, but she admired the small girl's strength. Vivian was unsure how she would feel seeing her, when according to Cassandra, Serrine didn't look good. She rounded the opening of the door and in no time was side by side with Dorian joining his magical ensemble. The two of them fell into a desperate harmony of motions trying to put together the pieces of the young woman that lay before them.
By the time they saw her eyelids flicker it felt like they had been at it for hours. Dorian and Vivian both dropped their arms in the small victory that at least she would live. Bull had gone to the tavern some time ago because he felt like no matter the outcome he would need a drink. Dorian knew where to find him and desperately needed him, but he felt guilty wanting to leave his friend. Vivienne touched his shoulder and tilted her head for them to depart, but Dorian shook his head.
"I'll stay if it's all the same to you."
"Dorian, darling, we've done all we can, she needs to rest." Vivienne's voice was strained, but there was a strange soft kindness behind it.
"What better way to rest than with a handsome man watching over you," Dorian said, turning away from the doorway. He did not know if he was trying to make himself smile, or Vivienne. Vivienne just nodded, took one more look at Serrine, and walked out.
Dorian slumped onto the floor and rested his back against the side of the lounge. He could hear Serrine's strained breath and that was good enough for him. It was then he wondered if she was dreaming. He turned for a moment to look at her face to see if he could get any signs of her dreaming, but she looked the same. If she was indeed dreaming, he wondered, was she searching for Solas in the fade?
Thinking of Solas made a rage rise in Dorian that he had only felt at his father's wrongdoings to him. He never expected to find such a friend in the inquisitor, but now that he had, he felt he had the duty of fiercely protecting that friendship, which also meant fiercely protecting his friend. It was then he realized that the one thing he could not protect her from, as much as he would like, was a broken heart. Her heart was hers to give, and his to protect as much as she would let him. Dorian shook his head as he realized that he would not be around to protect it much longer. He hated the idea of leaving her in the first place, but especially now. He hated that duty called him back home in such a way. He hated that the time of the Inquisition may be coming to an end. He desperately wished he could live in the moments where he got to know his dearest friend. Dorian let out a frustrated sigh and laid his head back, listening to the rhythmic crackle of his friends breathing until he drifted off to sleep.
Dorian did not like wandering the fade like other mages in his dreams, but he was looking for Serrine, hoping that he could find her and talk to her. The fade hissed and creaked and he could see the black city in the distance looking close enough to touch. He saw broken memories and random things scattered about. He could feel Serrine's sorrow hanging in the air, being absorbed by all the spirits around it. He needed to find her, for no other reason but to let her know she was not alone.
He walked beneath a tunnel and over jagged rocks until he found her. He had seen this place before when they were there physically during the mission at adamant. An ice-cold chill ran down his spine. She was in the graveyard of her companions, weeping in front of a headstone that read "Solas: Dying Alone." He spoke to her about this after they saw them the first time because his headstone and deepest fear was there too. Her sobs were long with periods of wailing in between. Dorian had never seen Serrine like this. He had seen her moments of doubt and indecision, and he had seen her cry, but not like this. This crying was her soul reaching out. He approached slowly as to not startle her, and he used his magic to appear not as himself, but as whoever she would accept. He had a grim idea of who that would be.
Serrine felt as though she could hardly breathe and, between her shrieking sobs, that was exactly how it felt. She looked at the words on his headstone and wondered if the words represented fears or fate. She needed him to come to her now. She needed this to end. She wanted all of this pain to go away, but she could not do that until he let her say her final piece. She hoped to embrace him for the last time and to let that embrace suck all of the love she had for him out, like a poison being stripped from her veins.
"Serrine." Dorian knew whose voice he was using and he struggled to keep his anger hidden. Why would she want to see him so soon, he wondered. Serrine's sobbing stopped, and he could see her shoulders become still and strong. She looked over her shoulder to see if she was not being deceived if Solas had come to her in this dream. With haste, she rushed at him and threw her arms around his neck. Dorian placed his hands on her waist and remained silent.
"Why did you leave me?" She was speaking elven, but something was allowing Dorian to understand it, as he was not particularly practiced in the language. "Why can't we be together? Why must you die alone?"
Dorian remained silent and let her head nestle into his chest. He could feel her relaxing at his touch, at Solas' touch. He remained still and waited for her to say something else. She remained silent pressed against him as though she wanted him to consume her. After a few moments, she lifted her head, her gray eyes wide and brimming with fresh tears.
"I know we can't be together. You told me why and I understand. You feel that you have to destroy the world to make it as it was." Dorian was puzzled by this. Is that what he told her? Serrine let go of him and took a few steps backward. With her head bowed, she continued. "If I could not help you see the good that there already is in this world, I doubt more time with you would change that. My heart wishes for something different, and that is what is truly tearing me apart" she whispered, her voice straining past the lump in her throat. Dorian placed his hands behind his back as he had seen Solas do many times. "You're not the savior of this world if you hope to destroy it, and if you can see me destroyed in the process, then your love for me means nothing," she continued, slowly lifting her head to meet his eyes. Though it pained him to see her so hurt, Dorian swelled with pride a little at the strength of his friend in this moment. "I cannot destroy my love for you, as much as I cannot let you destroy the world. My world," she said, her voice stronger now and her eyes fixed on his.
Dorian bowed his head and what he meant to say flowed from his lips in Solas' elven, "Mala suledin nadas." Now she must endure.
Serrine's eyes widened tears flowed freely onto her cheeks. She approached him once more, this time, studying his face carefully. She closed her eyes, and a half grin lifted the left side of her lips. In a hushed whisper, she uttered "Thank you, Dorian, I needed to say goodbye."
Dorian's eyes shot open, and he found himself laying on the cold stone floor of the room. He hushed his own breathing to hear Serrine's. She breathed easier now, the air no longer rattling through her lungs. Dorian raked a steady hand through his slick hair. He looked at Serrine's face and then lifted his hand to give her one more pass of his healing magic. She was not completely as strong she was before, but he could feel that she was on her way. His frame felt heavy as he picked himself up off the floor. He turned to leave, but not before looking back at her one last time. The light was shining through the doorway just so, and she looked like a goddess. Dorian smiled, smoothed his fingers over his mustache, and left his friend sleeping.