Growing Up Slickis
an Aaaah! Real Monsters Fanfic
by Save Fearow
Author's Notes: While mostly a fluff piece, I'm warning you right now, this fic gets a little dark towards the end. But I felt I put forth my best effort to convey how great monsters are shaped by the events, and that even the smallest of moments can make the biggest differences.
He was really going to make a name for himself at the Academy. Okay, he'd already started but it wasn't a very good name. He still didn't understand why humans even built fountains anyway, if they were thirsty they could just drink out of the toilet. At least they'd quit calling him "Splishis" which had to be one of the dumbest nicknames ever. Only a moron like Mimbo could find it humorous. If he really wanted to hear something nasty, he could just ask Brickis for another story about "the war". Veteran or no, there were times he thought his Dad had some serious rage issues. He wasn't going to be like that, he didn't want to force the other monsters to respect him, he wanted to earn it. And this was just the way to do it.
He shimmied his way up the traffic light, and hung upside down. He'd count backwards from twenty, and then begin the loom.
"Just our luck to be behind a red light, Mertle." one driver complained. "I just don't see how it could get any worse."
"ERARRGARR!" Slickis roared as he inflated to gigantic proportions. The driver screamed and immeditely reversed direction. He didn't slow down until he crossed the bay to Hoboken.
The Viewfinder reel completed its loop and Slickis' classmates let out a collective cheer.
"That. was. amazing." a small purple monster whispered.
"It wasn't that great, Squelia." her twin brother hissed back.
"Oh yes it was Yaggoroth." Squelia insisted. "He's masterful."
"SLICKIS! SLICKIS! SLICKIS!" they all chanted. Oh yes, he could definitely get used to this.
"Why don't you talk to him? You've bent my horns long enough with the 'Mr. Slickis' this, and the 'Mr. Slickis' that." snapped Yaggoroth.
Squelia let out a yelp of fright. "Yaggy, no! I can't do that, he's Mr. Slickis! The most stupedous scarer in class, the greatest Gorblat roller that ever lived, and did you see him competing in the Sewer Slaloms? He set a new speed record. For the entire continent!" She could feel her heart hammering. "What have I done? I only jump out from behind buildings and under bridges."
"The bridge was my idea." Yaggoroth claimed. "We're a great pair scarer, isn't that something?"
She sighed. "Everyone expects that from twins."
"What about becoming a great conversationalist? I bet Slickis would never expect that, since you just keep staring at him from across the hall!" Yaggoroth huffed.
Squelia looked sheepish. "I'm just getting up my nerve." she insisted.
"Well, you're already getting on mine. Tell you what, -I- will talk to him, find out if he's squishing on anyone. Maybe he's got a girl back in L'awleens or whatever the heck he called it." Yaggoroth suggested.
Squelia wrung her paws in desperation. "Oh please no, don't let him say that, what if he says that, I don't want him to say that..." she moaned.
Yaggoroth scowled. If he did, he'd be wearing a new ear style, double knots.
"Hey there, Slick. Pretty good moves today, not as good as mine, but still pretty good." Yaggoroth commented.
"Thanks. I thought about just going for terrifying, but then I said 'what the hey!' and went for spine-tingling. It gives better playback on the Viewfinder." Slickis told him.
"Yeah, sure. Anyway I know this is kinda sudden, but you don't s'pose you could go for a furry, purple monster with biiiig ol' horns, I am talking knockers..." Yaggoroth began.
Slickis grimaced slightly, but he made an effort to be polite. "I'm flattered, really, but like I told Grungy I'm only squishing on girls."
Belatedly, Yaggoroth realized another drawback of being a fraternal twin. "No, no, it's not me! I have this sister, you must've seen her around. Shy, kinda flighty but not a total spazz once you get to know her." he clarified.
Slickis placed her immediately. "The other pouncer. Good distance jumper, bends her claws a little on the landing. Is her name Squelia? Yeah, she is rather wretching." he admitted.
"Great, I told her you'd notice her. It's not like you're that stuck on yourself." Yaggoroth breathed a sigh of relief.
"Excuse me? Are you trying to set me up on a date, or are you just tossing insults around?" Slickis wanted to know.
"Can't it be both?" asked Yaggoroth.
"I don't know how you do it." Squelia confessed.
"Roll the Gorblats? It's all in the top-spin." Slickis told her.
"No! Scare the humans. I get so nervous because they're sooo much bigger than I am. What if one stepped on me, and my back snapped, and I spent the rest of my life lying down on a rolling cart?" she asked. "It could happen!"
"I'd never let it." Slickis vowed. "I would carry you to class instead."
"Whut is wrong wi' you maggots, I said I wanna -GUD- seat. Ya'll betta be givin' me a place o' honor or I will whup your butts. I scared fiddy humans durin' the war, an' I am still the most menacin' monster north of N'awlins!" boomed Brickis.
"I could have sworn it was L'awleens." Yaggoroth observed.
Squelia quavered. "Is your father always like that?" she whispered.
"No, Mom must've gotten him to tone it down." Slickis replied.
"It's such a skanky affair, I think I must be at the wrong wedding, that ghoulish young thing can't be my little sister!" teased Yaggoroth.
"Oh Yaggy, I can't take you anywhere. Aren't you ever going to settle down, for just one instant?" she wondered.
"That depends. How many single ladies did you invite to this reception?" asked Yaggoroth.
She swatted him playfully. "If you're not careful, I'll introduce you to the Gromble's sister." she threatened.
"I'll pass." Yaggoroth decided. He turned to Slickis. "Guess we're in-laws now, huh? I gotta say, I didn't care much for you at first, Mr. Big Loomer On Campus. But you're good to my sister. Squelia stands up for herself more now. Even to me." Yaggoroth frowned. "Wait, why was I in favor of this again?"
Slickis laughed. "You're alright, too Yaggy. Not too bright, but alright." Slickis informed him. Yaggoroth considered launching a comeback, but decided it could wait until after the lice cake was served.
"It's simply grotesque down here. How many people do you think were on that riverboat?" Squelia chirped.
"After we got through with 'em? None." Slickis boasted.
She clapped her paws in delight. "We could stay here always. Oh, but my family is in New York and I would miss them. I know they say it's only a storm drain away, but it isn't the same. Although we could get used to it, couldn't we? Plenty of monsters commute and the water's so much clearer here, I can see the night stars reflected in it!" she squeaked.
"Then we'll stay here." announced Slickis.
"But I like the pollution in the Hudson Bay more. They have just the right blend of diesel." recalled Squelia.
"Then we'll go back." Slickis decided.
"Then I couldn't get you any cajun crickets, they never serve it up north!" Squelia wailed morosely.
"Then we-" began Slickis.
"Do you think we could get your parents' recipe? They were happier after they moved, weren't they?" she asked.
Slickis shrugged. "Mom was. I can't always tell with Dad." he admitted. "Everythang is a command, soulja, do you unnerstand me? Ain't no monster never 'mounted to nuthin' whut din't do his duty! I scared fiddy humans a'fore you was even hatched!" he declared with an over-accented drawl.
Squelia giggled."It's fifty humans in the war, dear. Monsters losin' their gumption and focus was what happened before you were hatched."
"Of course. Musta dozed off during that speech, all four hours of it." Slickis confessed.
"I told him you were practicing deep-throated growls that day." she stated brightly.
"My days are always filled with joy
when I'm with my bitty bonsty boy
he is fearsome and he's brave
and the day he's gonna save
'cause he's mommy's little bonsty boy!" Squelia crooned.
Slickis' ears fell. "Doesn't daddy get any credit?" he wondered.
"You're in the second verse." she insisted.
Slickis nodded approval. "I can live without top billing."
"He's going to hatch really soon, I just know it." predicted Squelia.
"Terrific! Have you picked out any more bonsty names?" Slickis asked her.
"I can't decide. It needs to be perfect, so I thought of calling him Slickis, but that would get confusing, having two of you." she admitted.
Slickis laughed. "How 'bout something similar, then."
"Kickis? He's been kicking the shell more, everyday." she suggested.
"After my Granpa? I don't know, I heard he got in all sorts of scrapes when he was young." Slickis told her.
"Maybe a name that sounds less active, but not lazy, our son would never be THAT!" declared Squelia. "What if we called him Ick-"
A deep rumble shook the ground. Squelia's eyes went wide. "I don't like the sound of that!" she wailed.
"Must be havin' an earthquake. Feels like a really big one, though. Take the bonsty egg to shelter, I'm gonna check on our neighbors." instructed Slickis.
"D-don't be gone too long." she advised.
"I'll be back in no time." he promised.
The city was in shambles. His ear was bleeding, after being struck from some debris. He didn't care. Somebody had said something about him being heroic, the way he loomed to keep a building from crashing on some elderly monsters, and he should get a medal for it. He wasn't going to attend any ceremony, not until after he found what he was looking for. Maybe not even then.
Squelia's body had been one of the first to be recovered. Then his mom's, and then his dad's, and finally the in-laws. He'd barely even recognized Yaggoroth's remains, what with the crumpled horns. He didn't like to think how heavy the impact must've been.
"Slickis, good to see you. My mother is very grateful for what you did back there." the Gromble called out. Slickis didn't even acknowledge him. As far as he was considered, the Gromble's mother could take a flying leap. "That's quite a pile of rubble you're going through. But I'm pretty sure I heard Horvak say they went through it earlier and..." he began.
"They weren't looking hard enough." Slickis muttered. "There's still time, I heard a bonsty once survived 36 hours without his egg being kept warm."
The Gromble looked very uncomfortable. "You mean Hawlin, the boy who lived only 127 years, never once talking or walking by himself?" he inquired.
"Yes, that's the one!" replied Slickis, his face alight with a manic gleam.
"Slickis, you don't want THAT for your child." the Gromble told him.
"Don't tell me what I want!" Slickis snapped, with his fangs extended. "When you've lost EVERYTHING then you can come crying to me with your stupid opinions!"
The Gromble started to back off. "Slickis, you're scaring me. And not in a good way." he qualified.
"That's what matters to you? I was the BEST scarer in school, and what a fat load'a good it did me! You can't BUILD a family out of trophys! Do they give an award for FAILING to keep them alive, if they do, it makes me the Champ-een! HOORAY FOR SLICKIS!" he howled.
"I've a better idea. Let's pretend you never said that." suggested the Gromble nervously.
Sublima looked disgusted. "I can't believe we have to slum around here, just because the western estate wing had the audacity to collapse!" she complained bitterly.
"At least the servants weren't badly injured." Skeech pointed out. "And I think Oblina's enjoying a 'holiday', aren't you Bliny?"
"Holiday!" Oblina proclaimed. She was very proud of being able to talk a bit. Lugo the butler said he'd never heard of a bonsty who spoke so quickly, she must be a genius. That was rapidly becoming her favorite word.
"It's so pedestrian." Sublima dismissed. "I don't know much longer I can bear to be in such dismal surroundings."
"Dismal." Oblina repeated. No, that word wasn't nearly as satisfying. She ducked her head under a loose pipe. It was terribly exciting to be outside the mansion. She just wished she had someone to be excited about it with. All of the monsters she'd seen had looked very distracted, and many seemed to be upset. She tried calling "Hallo!" a few times and didn't even get any response, which was infuriating. You would think that someone would have an appreciation for a talking bonsty, it wasn't every day that you saw- a small, ovular object full of cracks. Oblina perked up immediately. "Bonsty!" she cried. "Come out bonsty, you are late, late bonsty, you are lazy, come out!" she encouraged.
There was a little moan, and a piece of shell tore free. A little red, floppy-eared, yellow-eyed creature emerged slowly and stared at her. "Lazy bonsty!" she exclaimed as it began to cry.
A short distance away, Slickis' ear twitched. He let go of the rock he was holding and turned to face the Gromble. "Did you hear that?" he asked excitedly.
"What, the crazy anguished rantings? I've been trying to let them slide but it's not getting any easier." the Gromble remarked.
"IT WAS A BONSTY!" Slickis roared. "M'boy, I'd know his voice anywhere! Daddy's coming!" He took off at a fast sprint.
"Daddy's going off the deep end." muttered the Gromble as he followed Slickis' frantic footsteps. Why were the insane monsters always the fastest runners?
Slickis tore across the field, where he saw Sublima's daughter playing with something small and long-eared. "That's m'boy, he's a wonderful bonsty boy. Thankyou-thankyou-thankyou, you're a brilliant little girl, Miz Sublima did you know your girl is brilliant, thank you for finding him!" Slickis blurted out.
"Bwilliant." Oblina declared happily.
"Terrific. First my most favorite summer estate is ruined, now we get accosted by the lunatic fringe." grumbled Sublima.
Slicked hugged his bonsty close. "Shh-hh. Don't cry, Ickis. Daddy's got you. Daddy's here, and everythin's going to be jus' fine." Slickis vowed. Looking at the two of them huddled together, the Gromble thought he might be right.
~~~ The End.
Author's Note: The quake I first had in mind occurred in 1884 and the driver Slickis scared had a very early model carriage/buggy (the terminology still being debated); although there were some other minor quakes in NYC/along the Ramapo Fault prior to 1940 and canon-wise it probly makes more sense to consider it one of those. It is difficult to determine how quickly monsters age. My original logic was 10 monster years is equivalent to 1 for a human. Thus Ickis would be 110 at the start of the series, with about the physical and emotional maturity of an 11-yr old boy. If this does not mesh with your idea on aging, please adjust the timeline accordingly. Earthquakes are sadly not too uncommon a disaster worldwide, and one which very few individuals are prepared to cope with. Oddly, I've seen children behave more intuitively in them than adults although it isn't a fate I'd wish on anyone. Reviews are greatly encouraged.