A/N:

I don't really know how this story happened...

There was this picture of Jun Masuo having fun on a wedding.

/#!/junjazzmaso/media/slideshow?url= .com%2FX5NgtG3w

And I couldn't help thinking "Why weren't the Shitennou on Usagi's and Mamoru's wedding? Like, really celebrating with them, not just nodding from the shadows?"

There was also all the questions and discussions about the PGSM Shitennou and their human forms and why they weren't brought back after the world was reset (or were they?), and there was the wedding of Usagi and Mamoru, and the redemption theme of the Ficathon 2012 made me think of a discussion on tumblr about underage henchmen, and the chapter 14 of "Borrowed" that was still fresh on my mind, and somehow, it all became this story, written for the Shitennou Forum Ficathon 2012.

If you're not very familiar with PGSM or haven't seen the Special Act with the wedding, perhaps I should explain a bit.

The Shitennou: It's pretty uncertain what happens to the Shitennou in PGSM after they died. They can return if Mamoru needs them (they do so in the Special Act), and they tell him to live his life in the present for their sake. Their good-bye leaves enough loopholes for them to be reborn, but in this storyverse, that didn't happen.

Jadeite's human form: In act.1, he's first a pretty normal looking Japanese boy with brown hair and brown eyes who later transforms into a blue-eyed, blond Japanese boy with magical powers. At that time, only Naru sees him in both forms, but I'll assume for now that Usagi who has seen him in both forms makes the connection, and that Sailor V and Tuxedo Kamen who hang around suspiciously often when expensive jewels are involved, have seen him too.

So for this story, I take it as a given that Jadeite can take both forms at will, and chose to be human to mingle with humans.

Have fun with the story!

Rei held her wine glass idly in her hand and watched the wedding reception over the rim of the glass.

She sighed.

Here they were, prettier and happier than ever before.

Usagi and Mamoru's wonderful wedding, all friends united.

Rei knew she shouldn't be sitting here like this, sighing.

She had been looking forward to this wedding. Meeting all her friends, dressing up, having fun, drawing a deep breath in the knowledge that a long and cruel war had ended for good and unexpectedly and undeservedly, they were all living peaceful lives. She had been excited to have the whole weekend with Minako. She had been looking forward to spend time together, but things between them had turned awkward pretty quickly.

Oh, there had been a lot of talking about how important their friendship was. How glad they were to see each other again. There had been vows never to let their careers get between them. But the really important thing hadn't been spoken of. There had been no mention of love, and no kiss.

Once or twice, Rei had been close to saying it herself. I love you. Please stay. But she couldn't. And Minako should know her well enough to know how this kind of thing didn't come easy to her, and how little reason she had to believe anyone would ever stay with her. But Minako, the senshi of love, who received love letters and love declarations by her fans every day and was well versed in these matters, just smiled her lopsided knowing smile and said nothing. And Rei no longer knew where they were standing, and was afraid to put all her trust in that mocking smile.

And now Rei sat here alone and watched Makoto and Motoki, for whom the wedding had brought a common future. And Rei was so happy for Makoto. Because she knew what it was like to be without family. And at the same time she felt like shit, because she was jealous.

It was so childish. Why not me, too? And yes, it hurt, and no, it didn't help at all that Ami was single and Naru, too, and a lot of other people at this wedding.

And now she was supposed to smile at Minako, joke and laugh and dance so that Usagi's wedding was a happy one, and she knew she damn well would do exactly that, because oh, did they all deserve this wedding to be a happy ending to all the fear and pain.

And then, tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, Minako would take her phone and her busy schedule and walk out of the door and Rei would be back to longing for every single call.

She emptied her glass. Alcohol wouldn't help her one bit, if she thought of it sensibly. But today, she didn't want to be sensible at all.

She didn't know the guy who came late to the wedding, and only out of boredom watched him because Minako had gone out to do one of those oh-so-important phone calls. The guy hesitated when he entered, but then Mamoru saw him, jumped off his chair and greeted the newcomer like he was his best friend. And when he dragged him over to Usagi, she squealed and threw her arms around him, which seemed to give the guy quite the shock. Rei smirked. So he obviously knew Mamoru, but not Usagi. He was younger than Mamoru, suntanned, with brown hair and dark eyes, and he reminded her a bit of Shingo, because like Usagi's little brother, he didn't look too comfortable in his suit and kept fussing awkwardly with the sleeves or the collar of his shirt when the thought no one was looking.

And now Usagi had sunk her claws into the new guy and didn't even give Mamoru a chance to introduce this special friend to his foster parents and friends.

Oh well, they probably knew him already. It was nice that Mamoru, who couldn't round up a single blood relative and not many friends besides Motoki, had someone to show up for him, and Rei fully understood why Usagi was so happy about it.

Now Usagi started introducing him to her family, and it looked like she was going to shove him into the face of everyone in the room. Look, Mamoru's friend could make it, isn't this fantastic?

It was cute and made Rei feel a bit better.

Something weird happened though when Usagi introduced him to Naru.

She recognized him. She was shocked.

Her hands covered her mouth, her eyes went wide.

The stranger bowed deeply to her while Usagi seemed to do a lot of explaining.

With shaking hands, Naru took one of the white eye masks that were part of the table decoration - a Sailor V themed wedding, Usagi's idea of course - and held it testingly against the newcomer's face. She frowned. Then she turned and held the white mask in Mamoru's direction and peered through.

"Tuxedo Kamen!" she gasped loud enough that Rei heard her from across the room.

Rei froze. Mamoru froze, too. Since Tuxedo Kamen's public appearance on TV, everyone in the room probably knew the name. It wouldn't make for a happy wedding if someone called the police now.

But no one paid attention. Because Usagi said something, and both Naru and Usagi took off into a giggle fit that made it all sound like a joke. Then Usagi hugged the stranger again with her one arm, and Naru with her other arm, and they all laughed.

"... colleague of Mamoru... a jewel thief, too?..." was all that Rei could hear, and the embarrassed reaction of both the guy and Mamoru was priceless.

So Mamoru had invited a fellow criminal. Seemed like he had met interesting people crouching on rooftops. Sounded like many years worth of teasing. Rei grinned.

"What is Jadeite doing here?" asked Minako coldly when she dropped on the seat next to Rei.

Rei's grin faded.

"Jadeite? Where?"

"Over there next to Mamoru!"

"That's Jadeite? Doesn't look like him at all."

"His human form."

"I didn't know he has a human form."

"They all have. He used it for gaining people's trust before hunting them down with his youmas. What does he have to sneak in here for?"

Rei felt the hostility in Minako's tone was a bit too strong.

"I don't think he's going to be a problem," she said. "Usagi and Mamoru are ecstatic he turned up."

"I don't like this. How did he do this? How can he be here? I thought those guys can only come when Mamoru summons them. Wasn't there this big deal about not summoning them for something like family matters?"

"Minako, why are you so upset about him?"

"I don't like that he came alone. Where is the rest? And what does he want here? This guy is always bad news."

"He's just come for the party."

And he's not the one spreading a bad mood on the day that should be our victory party.

"Shitennou only come back for sorting out new enemies. Something might be out there to ruin the wedding!"

Rei rolled her eyes.

"And it must be incredibly threatening because the Shitennou sent us the Mighty Jadeite. In human form. Minako, calm down."

"Don't let him out of your eyes. I need to check this out with Artemis. And then I'll talk to Usagi."

And there she leaves me again, Rei thought. And thank you for turning the wedding into guardian duty. She didn't even ask me if I had foreseen any danger. I would have seen something if there was any.

She watched the newcomer.

Was he really Jadeite?

Now that Minako had mentioned it, she recognized his voice.

Or what his voice would sound like without the snarl she had come to associate with the boy from the Dark Kingdom.

Then Usagi, incredibly pretty and bubbling happy, came over with the boy, and yes, from up close, his quick nervous side glances were unmistakeable.

"Look who's there, Rei-chan!"

"Hi, Jadeite," said Rei.

"Oh, you recognized him?" squealed Usagi. "Did you know he used to work for Naru's mom? He looks so different in human form, doesn't he?"

"It's his eyes," said Rei, "They give him away."

With some amusement she saw that this made Jadeite even more nervous, and Usagi even more cheerful.

She dragged Jadeite on already.

Rei didn't follow them, but saw to it that she always sat somewhere where she had a friend to chat with and at the same time could see what Jadeite was doing.

One thing was clear. Jadeite was here to have fun.

He drank quickly, and wasn't used to it, actually, he was so horrible at it that the first glass got to his head instantly.

Although he spent most of his time around Mamoru, he seemed to have talked to everyone after a short time, grinning a huge grin that Rei didn't know he possessed.

He joked and laughed a lot. He was also horrible at joking, from what Rei could hear. It made Mamoru grin and joke back. Rei knew he could do so with deadly precision and she saw Jadeite fold up in humiliation and laughter more than once, and have Mamoru feign concern and patronize him which only made Jadeite try harder to come up with something that would then rebound on him even worse. For the first time that day, Mamoru looked like he was having fun.

Come on, Minako, thought Rei. That should make up for a lot, shouldn't it? It's not just us who have something to celebrate today.

Then Usagi's mother and Usagi's aunt decided the party was too lame for their taste and initiated some silly dancing games, and Jadeite didn't hesitate a second to join. He was horrible at the games, too, but that only made him laugh more.

Even Rei, who usually found these games a bit embarrassing, and Ami who had been a bit saddened by seeing the wrong Shitennou turn up at the celebrations, grinned.

"Where's Jadeite?" asked Minako, dropping next to Rei the moment Rei had wanted to sit all by herself for a moment.

It was late, the party crowd was beginning to thin out a bit.

"Don't know. He's been here a minute ago. Perhaps he just went out on the terrace."

"Could you please go check on him? I told you not to let him out of your eyes."

Why is she like that today? Rei didn't understand. Wearing that black sombre dress, being moody, arguing in the open, risking that Usagi would hear them and get the impression that her best friends were mad at each other which was the worst thing in Usagi's world.

"Minako, calm down already, will you? He hasn't done anything but celebrate so far."

"He danced with Naru. Did you see that?"

"Yes? She likes him."

"Who does he think he is? He hit her, and now he thinks he can come here and have a good time with her like nothing has happened? If I see him near her again, he'll be in trouble!"

"Minako!"

"What? When I said you should keep an eye on him, I meant you should make certain he behaves! And not give him doe-eyed looks all evening."

"Minako! He's Mamoru's special guest, and that is all there is to it. I'm here to have a good time, and not to be dragged into your old grudges. The war is over, Minako! I want to have fun!"

"Oh please, what's keeping you? Can't you have fun and guard the princess from Shitennou at the same time?"

"You know what, Minako? If you can't have fun and guard the princess at the same time, then why don't you keep it to yourself so I maybe have a chance to enjoy this wedding?" hissed Rei.

She turned around and left the room without looking back.

She found Jadeite outside on the terrace, sitting there on a wall, with his jacket off, his tie loosened, and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up. In his hand he held a glass of beer, and he was looking over the town.

When he heard her coming, he turned to her with a wide smile.

"This night is so beautiful. Look at this, the moon and the lights of the city, isn't it magnificient?"

"Yes."

So Minako wanted her to have fun? Very well. Jadeite looked like he knew how to have fun on a wedding. She only needed to join him. And enjoy the thought of Minako throwing a fit.

Rei sat herself on the wall, too, with a little difficulty from all the wine, and looked over the city.

It felt oddly comfortable to sit with this boy. Rei was used to deal with strangers at the shrine every day, but she didn't really feel at ease around them, and usually it took her a long time to get used to someone. But Jadeite wasn't a stranger. A former enemy, yes. But now that he wasn't hostile any more, all she could say about him was that she knew him, and that she wished she knew him better.

Rei smiled.

"Having a good time at the wedding so far?"

Jadeite beamed at her.

"Oh, yes. It's such a great wedding. They're so happy. I'm so happy. Everyone's so happy!"

Rei nodded. She wasn't quite prepared to contribute much to an actual conversation with her former enemy.

She had known him to be a rather silent guy. It had to be the beer that made him talk. The glassy eyed cheerfulness wouldn't have endeared any other guy to her, but she liked it a lot in Jadeite who she had never seen other than grumpy. She also had never seen him other than in guardian form. She could get over the brown hair - she had stopped paying attention to his hair a long time ago - but she couldn't get over his eyes. They had always been the colour and the temperature of ice. Now they were dark and warm.

She did like the smile. Today was a day of joy. And this was the happiest guy she had seen all day. She approved of that.

Still, she had to ask.

"Jadeite... why are you here?"

"For the wedding, of course." He drank from his glass and looked away, and his smile toned down several shades. "I know I shouldn't be here. I know no one wants the dead to rise from their ashes. Once it has been good bye, you need to have the decency to keep your head down and stay out of the way of the living. No one wants the ghosts of the past creeping up on them, especially if the past is as ugly as ours.

But you don't have to worry about me. I'm just dropping by for a visit. It's only a tiny bit of time I could steal from destiny. I know I'm dead. I died and I'll soon be gone again."

Rei was horrified by his unconcerned tone.

"How can this not bother you?" she asked.

"I don't have time for it," he answered lightly with a small apologetic smile. "Maybe I forgot how to be worried. When you're dead, everything is peaceful. You have no more worries, not much in the way of emotions, you don't feel the course of time, you forget how things are back there. And then when you come back it hits you like a hammer, all the colours, all the sounds and smells and how gorgeous everything is and how scary and deadly and short lived! And how fast everything happens! And how much you loved being alive back then!

And then you are back for an hour or so, and you start bargaining, one more hour please, one more day, just this one wedding... and the others say that this is wrong and undignified and once you start doing that, you'll never stop, and you end up fighting a fight you can't win and feel every second like the sting of a needle.

But it's not true. I enjoy it. Damn, I love it, every second.

It feels so good to see you all happy and celebrate. You have no idea how beautiful you are today, Mars."

He looked at her, and she wasn't certain if he saw more in her than the beauty he saw in the moon or the lights of the city.

He kept on talking, but Rei couldn't listen any more. These were the words she wanted to hear from someone else.

There was this boy who laughed, joked and danced and got drunk and made Usagi and Mamoru happy and there was Minako being mad at him for it, and him being aware of it and it was all so wrong.

And I didn't see it, didn't see you are human and were human back then in the Dark Kingdom and would have seen a wedding and heard the music and got drunk and laughed and danced if anyone had bothered to recognize you as a human being and invited you. And I forgot you because I never even saw you in the first place and for this, I fail as a priestess and as a human being. Because now you're gone and can't have the life you should have and you have to sneak in uninvited. And you took yourself the time to celebrate what you didn't have any more, while I sat here unhappy in the middle of it all, feeling sad, not having eyes for all the things that make our lives a miracle and a treasure. Things that you should have. By all means. But you don't. The war killed you back in the past, and the same war killed you in our time again. We got new lives, and all you got was a few moments where you could watch ours.

As if you had never existed, as if no one but you yourself cared if you had ever had hopes and joy and reasons to laugh.

I'm so sorry, Jadeite. I'm so sorry...

A few small tears escaped her eyelashes.

She wiped them off, but not quickly enough.

Jadeite flinched when he saw them.

"Oh no," he said, "it's true, I bring regret. I shouldn't have come. Don't be sad, Mars, please don't. Everything's okay. I'm happy. Everyone's happy. Look at them all."

"Yes," sighed Rei, fighting back the tears and losing. You're happy. You don't mind that everything's over. But I do. "You... you said it's over after the good-bye, but we never got to have a good-bye. We never even had a hello."

He just had a smile for that. A mischievous, knowing little smirk.

"You cartwheeled when we first met. I had a hello moment with your underwear. I say that counts. Counts even double perhaps."

Rei snorted a small laugh through her tears.

"Ah, that's better," said Jadeite. "I'm sorry you had to see me and become all sad. I've only been thinking of myself. I always have too much fun being in the human world. I didn't think of what it would do to others. I shouldn't have come."

"Don't talk like that, Jadeite," said Rei, softer than she usually would say such a sentence. "Usagi and Mamoru are so happy you could make it. And I..."

She hesitated, but now that she had started she couldn't not say it any more.

"I'm so glad you came back," she said, and she was painfully, painfully aware that it was someone else she wanted to say these words to, and at the same time she was happy she could finally say them out loud because they were so important to her and keeping quiet had hurt her all this time. These words warmed her from inside, and made her smile while she said them, because they were true for Jadeite, too. She was glad he had come. It was great to see him. She had never expected that out of all the people involved in senshi business in one way or another, it would be Jadeite who held the same views on the importance of living now vs. living the past that she had. Life sure was full of surprises.

She gave him a puzzled smile.

"I'm so glad you can be here with us today, Jadeite. It means a lot to me. It isn't about how long or short our time here is. We get the destiny thing without being asked, but the human things we have to fight for. They may be short lived, very much so, but they make us to who we truly are."

"Thank you," said Jadeite, and perhaps it wasn't just the alcohol that made his eyes glassy now. "I didn't think anyone would understand..."

And suddenly, it wasn't about getting back at Minako any more. Now it was all about this one day that she had had a chance to meet him, human to human, girl to boy, and how grateful she was that she had been given this chance, and how much she wanted to protect the short-lived bit of humanity he had had to steal for himself, and how much she wanted this day to contain all the things for Jadeite that could make him 'have fun in the human world'.

"No, Jadeite," she said and smiled through new tears. "Don't thank me. Yet."

And then she kissed him. He tasted of beer.

He nodded when she asked for one more kiss, and this one left them breathless and dizzy.

He nodded when she asked for one more hour, and they excused themselves from the wedding party to 'go for a walk', which led them into Rei's hotel bed with little detours. Had he been a man, the senshi of passion had overwhelmed him with the force of her desire to be on the safe side. But with a boy her age who was shy in bed she could afford to be gentle.

She couldn't tell if sex was new to him, but she could tell that kindness and tenderness certainly were. He had a moment where he stared at her until she thought she would drown in his eyes, and she had never wanted to hold someone like she wanted to hold him. And then he laughed it all away, and with a mischievous sparkle in his eye he kissed her and made a mess of opening her bra.

He nodded when she asked for another hour so they could do it again, in that sweet, caring, thorough and somewhat unbelieving way they had found between them. Then she just held him, and he let her for a long time.

He shook his head when she begged for one more sunset.

He smiled, but she had seen his eyes go glossy again, so she tried not to cry.

She had so many things she wanted to ask him, but they were so silly. Will someone hold you? Will someone listen to your breath? Will someone care for you? Will it be painful to go back? Will I see you again?

But all she could say was: "Will you be okay?"

And he only jerked his head to the side, smiled and said "Nothing can harm me where I go."

She knew it wasn't true. The realm of death hadn't been able to protect him before. But she wanted to believe it. So much.

She wrapped herself in his warm smile and his hug, and while she didn't find belief in it, she still found hope.

They went back for that part of the wedding that was made out of those who were still up and celebrating that late, or rather, that early.

Jadeite said good-bye to her before they entered, even though he stayed for a while longer afterwards once they were inside, never leaving Mamoru's side.

Rei didn't see him leave, but when she looked around at dawn, he was gone.

Of course, Minako was furious the next morning, and to Rei's surprise, she also was also beside herself with worry.

"Did he treat you well? Because if he has hurt you, I swear I'll go to the other world just to kick his dead butt!"

"No, you don't!" cut Rei in as quickly as she could, her voice almost squeaking. "You'll stay right here! You have no business in the other world! If you went there, you'd become like one of them, always calm, without worries and hopes, and even if you remembered me, after a while you wouldn't care about me any more. But I need you to be human, and I need you around! Here! Now!"

Minako's eyebrows rose up far and she gave Rei a faint smile.

"Oh. So that's how it is?"

Rei shot her a grim look back.

"Yes. That's how it is!"

Dear Jadeite,

I know this won't reach you, but lately, I so often saw something and thought how much you'd like it and how much I'd love to share it with you. So I thought I could at least write things down. You may come back or not. I do not know. But if you do, I hope you'll have a minute to read this.

Although you're not here, you're not forgotten. I often think about you.

I think I know you a bit better now. I did some research. That is, I asked Usagi to retrieve some memories of you in the Silver Millennium. I also asked Mamoru, who has tons of memories about you from all times. He told us you were a big Aino Minako fan. Loudly singing 'C'est la vie' in the Dark Kingdom, driving Mio (and Zoisite, too) up the walls. I swear I died laughing when I heard that and imagined her face.

And you should have seen Minako's face when I told her about it.

Because you liked her, I hope you would appreciate of how things turned out, that Minako has made a big commitment to me and the baby.

I wish you could see your daughter. Everything about her makes me happy. I treasure every second with her.

She's of course the cutest and prettiest baby I've ever seen, and we love her so much. Everyone thinks she's Minako's, because she loves music and is so social and emotional, and it's a family joke between us senshi about how I picked a guy who brings in the Minako qualities. But I swear I did not. Our baby has a happy personality because we love her so much.

Luna says she has magical talent because she likes to watch magical things that normal people can't see. Mamoru says you did the same thing when you were small. He also has some breathtaking stories about you when you were a kid, or a squirrel on caffeine as he calls it, they're quite funny, even if I know he's trying to scare me.

Sometimes I'm scared. But for different reasons.

When I look back on my life, whenever I loved someone, my time with them was short.

My time with you was the shortest. It's my fault. Boys are human beings, too, I could have known that earlier if I had tried, and seen you as something other than a crystal blade, or a voice that sends youmas.

At that time, I was mostly a frightened child and had a lot to learn.

Usagi and Minako say I shouldn't bother feeling like I failed you, or that I could have done better, but sometimes I can't help it.

All I saw was an enemy when I should have seen a boy under the curse of a demon. I of all people should recognize a curse when I see one. But I didn't, because I didn't want to, and I'm ashamed. Perhaps you were beyond help, as Mamoru says, but I was beyond trying to help, and there's no excuse for that.

I sometimes have to remember myself of my own words, that it doesn't matter how short love and joy are, that it only matters that we have them and treasure them.

I know it's true. But there are moments when it weighs me down, and I feel only guilty.

The moment you were human I could approach you as a human. But I should have done so earlier. It shouldn't have taken you several hours of laughing and having fun right in front of my eyes to get the message that your happiness is just as hard-won, sweet and precious as ours.

I was a bit slow. But I was lucky. I was luckier than I ever deserved. With our little girl, I can see your smile again, every day, and I can have all the fun and joy in the world. And you bet I will. For you, for me, for her.

Whenever I'm worried that my time with her might be short, and I do worry, and it scares me like nothing has ever scared me in my life, I remind myself that every day I have her is a gift already.

We'll meet again. Everyone says so. I hope so. I have a feeling it will be short again, some human time smuggled into duty, stolen from destiny. I hope I'll remember my smart words then that it doesn't matter how short love and joy are, as long as we make space for them in our lives. I hope you'll remember them too, if not, I'm quite determined to remind you of them.

Until then, I'll return to cuddling the cutest little girl in the world, to remind me that what counts is that we are human and after all the wars and fears and cruelty we've been through, we still can laugh and love.

Be safe, wherever you are.

Love, Rei