I was glad when she ended up on the streets, then she could feel the shame and loss of material possessions I felt every day. She was dressed it rags and her hair was a mess. Finally we didn't look so different, she wasn't so desirable anymore. And every day the decay got more and more pronounced until I looked more attractive than she did. That was something I'd hoped for for a long time and I'd got it, so, to me, things were looking up.
I was glad when she drank that poison. Yes, so I might have embellished a little when I told Mr Todd that I tried to stop her, all I did was tell her how much of a fool she was being and what would happen if her plan backfired. I possibly told her to go ahead if she was really that intent on it. I didn't see her for days, and when I did, she barely knew who she was. She remembered me, though, and maybe that poison got past her inhibitions and see me in what could be called a true light, as the monster I'd be said to be.
I was glad when I heard her crying. Now she knew how it felt to long for someone who wasn't with you, who you couldn't have, who you wanted more than anything in the world. Sometimes, we'd cry together, at the same time but in different rooms, it was like some mournful song that was sure to collide and end in screaming, again, at the same time but in different rooms for we both wanted the same thing.
I was glad when judge Turpin had her way with her. To me, she deserved it. She'd taken happiness from me, so why should she be allowed to feel it? It was stolen anyway.
So that's why I was glad when they took him away, because I'd known for a long time that if they took him, they'd take her. What I didn't know was they'd take me too. And in the years he was gone I became as twisted and bitter as the man who had once been Benjamin Barker himself - but damage was done to me in a different way, and when he returned, whilst he would be incapable of showing love, it was all I'd crave. So once again I'd cry but this time I was alone, there was no Lucy to cry with me. My screams went unanswered. I was alone.