A/N: I never really intended to write fanfictions about the Mentalist, but now that I started it seems impossible to stop. This is a short one-shot. It is based on spoilers about 6x19. Lisbon has to make a difficult decision and she decides to ask her best friend for advice.
Lisbon was not surprised to see Jane when she entered the bullpen early in the morning. He sat on his couch, drinking a cup of tea.
"Morning Lisbon."
She put her bag on her desk and looked at him. For once she'd hoped to find him alone, there was something she needed to tell him. Should have done it days ago.
"Hi." She thought about sitting next to him on the sofa, but then decided instead to simply turn her chair around to face him.
"I need to talk to you. Do you have a minute?"
A completely pointless question, he clearly hadn't been busy, but Lisbon nevertheless felt the need to ask.
"Sure." He put his cup on the small table beside his couch. Lisbon played nervously with her hands. What was the best way to start this conversation? Jane just looked at her and Lisbon gained few more minutes by pointing out the obvious.
"You have been sleeping on the couch again." It was a statement, not a question. His jacket was crinkled and his hair even untidier than usual.
Jane just shrugged. "I'm anyway here most of the day, I don't really see the point of going to my airstream and back again. It's just a waste of time."
Lisbon suppressed a sigh. He was sleeping in the office more and more often. She was not sure whether Fischer and Abbot had any idea about this, but it clearly hadn't escaped her notice. He hadn't done this in the beginning, it only started a few weeks ago. Or more precisely 9 weeks and three days ago. She remembered it so well because it was the week she started seeing Marcus. Most of the time she tried to forget about it, tried to convince herself that this was not the reason; more or less successfully. At the moment clearly less successfully.
"You wanted to talk about my sleeping pattern?", Jane asked and snapped her out of her thoughts. She hadn't realised that she just stared at him without saying a word.
"No", she cleared her throat. There was no nice way of doing this, she just had to get it done.
"Marcus is going to DC, and they offered me a job there too."
Jane didn't seem surprised and the truth hit her like a blow.
"You knew." Again a statement, not a question.
"Fischer may have mentioned something last week." Jane didn't look at her instead he reached for his cup and took a sip.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
He stopped midway, the cup slightly trembling in his hands. "I didn't want to interfere. I figured you would tell me, when you thought I needed to know."
He still avoided her gaze and put the cup back on the table. He must felt hurt that it took her over a week to finally talk with him.
"And…are you going?" His voice sounded calm, but his eyes flickered just for an instant in her direction.
"I haven't decided yet." She took a deep breath, "Actually this is why I wanted to talk to you. I need the advice of a friend."
Jane flinched visible, for once unable to hide his emotions. One part of her regretted having asked the question, but then…she needed to know what he thought about it. She couldn't explain why, but she desperately needed to hear what he had to say about all of this.
"We are still friends, aren't we?" She tried to banish the nervousness from her voice, not particularly successful.
"Of course", Jane looked at her, for the first time since she mentioned the job offer.
"So, what do you think?"
Jane remained silence for a moment he seemed to contemplate about how to respond.
"I can think of two different answers, but I'm not sure which one you would like to hear."
He thought about this a lot, probably imagined this conversation in his head a hundred times. Lisbon didn't know where this certainty came from but she simply knew.
"How about you tell me all of them?"
Jane managed to give her a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes.
"Just remember I warned you, I don't think you will like both of them."
Now it was his turn to take a deep breath.
"It is a good job", he finally began, "You were great as Boss and I think you deserve to have your own team again. Don't you miss it sometimes, being the one in charge?"
Lisbon leaned back in her chair. "I don't know…maybe parts of it. But I'm not sure I want all this responsibility again and all this additional paperwork…"
Jane interrupted her. "You forget, I won't be there, this should reduce the amount of paperwork by tenfold."
Lisbon smiled. "You could be right."
He apparently was not finished yet. "So, it seems to be a good job. And from what I've heard DC is a nice city…", he looked at his hands, "and of course Pike will be there."
This time Lisbon flinched; she didn't expect him to bring up Marcus.
"He seems to be a nice guy and he's making you happy."
Several minutes of silence followed his last words, before Lisbon finally gathered her thoughts again.
"Which version was this now?", she asked, her words barely more than a whisper.
"That was the version I know you wanted to hear."
Was this true; was this the answer she hoped to get? Lisbon was suddenly not sure, not sure at all.
"Do you still want to hear the rest?"
She just nodded, not really trusting her voice any longer.
"I don't want you to go. I'm going to miss you terribly, Lisbon. We have a nice team her, we finally started working together as a unit", he spoke faster, less calm than before.
"You have a nice flat and it's warm. A lot warmer than in DC, you always hated the cold. " A short pause. "I'm here."
His arguments got more and more ridiculous, but Lisbon was no fool. He told her the only real reason in the beginning and repeated it at the end; the rest was just false pretence.
She immediately knew which version this was, but she nevertheless asked.
"That's the truth, that's what I'm feeling if I imagine you leaving."
He avoided looking at her. "I know it's selfish and arrogant of me to wish that you stay, but it is the truth and I'm done lying. You wanted to hear both versions, now you know."
Lisbon remained silent after this revelation. Her heartbeat was racing. Was this the answer she actually wanted to hear? She never expected him to be so honest with her and it came as a shock.
"I miss you, you know", he suddenly said out of nowhere. Lisbon looked at him, knowing exactly what he meant. They were still working together, but ever since she started seeing Pike, there was no more tea drinking after work, no more time just with him…she couldn't even remember when she had been in his airstream for the last time. It must have been weeks ago.
"I miss you too." Lisbon simply answered, and only afterwards realised what she'd just said. This didn't make it any less true, though.
She felt more confused now than ever.
"Thank you", she said nevertheless, "for listening to me. I will think about what you said."
The elevator at the other end of the room opened and Lisbon saw Cho entering the bullpen. He just looked at them and then walked straight into the break room. Cho always knew, when he had to disappear. Unfortunately he was the only one. Fischer arrived immediately after him and wished them a good morning.
"I need the files from yesterday", she said to Lisbon and did not appear as if she planned to go to her her office anytime soon.
"I'll bring them to you in a minute."
Lisbon focused her attention again on Jane.
"Will you tell me how you decided? I don't think I could stand it to hear this from Fischer or anyone else."
Lisbon just nodded and she felt horrible for withholding this so long from him.
"I will. You'll be the first…", she suddenly realised what she'd just said, "I mean…as soon as I talked about it with Marcus, I'll let you know."
She turned her chair around and looked at her black computer screen. Maybe this decision wouldn't be as difficult as she thought.
Lisbon closed the door behind Marcus and leaned her forehead against the dark wood. Relief. If she still had had any doubts about her decision, this definitely eliminated them. She felt relieved, now that she finally told Marcus that she would stay. She knew that she disappointed him, hurt him, but she couldn't even shed a tear for him. She felt sorry, not only for the break-up, but because she never could love him they way he would have deserved it. He was nice, but he wasn't for her. She knew that now.
She took her phone and dialed Jane's number.
"Lisbon", he answered immediately as if he'd expected her call.
"Hi", she sat down on her couch, "I just wanted you to know, that I made a decision." She could literally feel how he held his breath at the other end of the line.
"I'm not going. I'm staying in Austin."
Silence was the only response she got. Lisbon didn't know what she expected, but definitely not this.
"Are you still there, Jane?" - "Yeah."
Lisbon felt a hint of anger. "Is this all you're going to say."
"Yes, no… I mean", and in that moment she understood. He was wondering what she wanted to hear. He tried to find the right words, the right mixture between being happy for her and not making her feel as if he manipulated her into this decision.
"Jane", Lisbon said appreciatively, "stop thinking so much. I don't want to hear what you think I would like to hear." She stopped for a moment, did that even make sense?
"I just want to hear the truth, do you understand me?"
"I do." She heard the smile in his voice. "I'm glad you decided to stay. In fact, I think I haven't been this happy in months."
Lisbon couldn't hide a smile herself. "Neither was I."
A moment of silence.
"Lisbon, I promise you, from now on you'll get nothing but the truth from me." Lisbon suddenly felt very touched and more than ever convinced, that she made the right decision.
"Thank you, Jane. That means a lot to me. I see you tomorrow."
"Good night, Lisbon." – "Good night, Jane"