Title: The Darkness and the Light
Author: The Fallen Sky
Rating: M
Pairing: Chlark
Summary: People change and not always for the better.
Warning: There be angst.
A/N: This is the first part to a Chlark story, and it's told in the third person from Clark's POV. It takes place in a future AU. In season 8, Clark took Davis to the Fortress and planned to send him to the Phantom Zone, but Chloe stopped him. In this verse, Clark grabbed Davis and carried him at superspeed into the portal, sending both of them to the Phantom Zone before Chloe could remove the crystal from the console. Over a decade later, Clark emerged from the Phantom Zone a very different man.
Feedback is welcome. And as always, enjoy.
Perched high atop a skyscraper, he watches her.
His eyes stay locked on her, following her every movement.
He's been doing this for months, shadowing her where ever she goes, watching over her from the shadows.
She hasn't a clue, though from time to time, he's caught her looking up as though she knows he's there, but she always shakes off the notion and goes on about her business, blissfully unaware of his presence.
He prefers it that way, to be unnoticed, a forgotten memory, a ghost from the past.
He died a long time ago, a victim of his own heroics or stupidity, he can't remember which. Maybe it's both.
Either way, the man he was is no more, and what's left of him is nothing more than an abomination, a faded echo of someone he used to know.
Still, he longs for those days gone by, days when he used to matter, when he walked in sunlight...with her.
He still remembers her smile and her laugh, remembers the way she looked at him with love and adoration as if he were the source of everything good in her world. He remembers the trust and faith she had in him, the belief she carried in her heart that he could and would accomplish great things, that he was a hero...that he was her hero.
Like so many things, it all turned to dust and blew away in an icy wind.
He'll never be the man she called friend, the man she lived for, the man she would die for, the man she loved.
He's a monster, a killer, a wild beast to be feared.
There's blood on his hands, so much blood. His soul is tainted by it.
He literally hates himself for what he's become, what he's lost, and what he'll never have again.
And yet, amidst all the darkness within him, there's still a small ray of light struggling to shine. He's not sure if it's his conscience, some glimmer of his former self, or if it's the love he has for her trying to remind him of who he was and who he may be yet again.
Is it possible to be who he was, to go back to being a hero, to be pure of spirit and innocent of mind?
Even if it were, he's not sure he'd want to. If there's anything he's learned from his ordeal, it's that he was too idealistic, too eager to see the good in people, too willing to risk everything for the belief that everyone deserves a second chance.
No, he doesn't want to be that naive again, not even if it means having her love him the way she used to.
She's better off without him, that much he knows.
Whether he's better off without her, that's an entirely different story.
He'd have to say no, he's not better off without her. She made him believe in himself, gave him the strength to carry on despite the many hardships that befell him. She made him feel loved and accepted, made him feel human.
Even in his darkest hour, when the man he was died from the atrocities he had to commit in order to survive Hell, she was with him, giving him hope and purpose, allowing him to carry on and endure.
If not for her, he'd still be rotting in that godforsaken hellhole. He escaped because of her, because of his longing to see her again, to touch her again, to be loved by her again.
But how could she love him now? How could she love a killer who lacks remorse for taking so many lives regardless of the circumstances?
She could never love him, and that's why he watches her from a distance, always close but still out of reach.
Perhaps there's still a remnant of his former self simmering underneath the surface, but he's too ashamed to approach her, too afraid that she'll see him for what he is, a monster, and not what he was or could be.
He's a coward, plain and simple.
He'd rather live with faded memories, what ifs and could've beens, than brave the reality of possible rejection and revulsion.
Still, he'll never stop watching over her, never stop protecting her.
She is his purpose, his reason for being, the only thing keeping him from succumbing to the darkness within. Without her, he is truly lost.
So, he will endure just as he always has, forever in shadow, watching, waiting.
Perhaps one day he will know what it is to walk in sunlight again, to have her smile at him, to be loved by her, but he dares not hope nor dream it for fear he will taint it as he has been tainted.
If he is to be redeemed, she is the one who will brave the darkness to rescue him, to save him from himself.
After all, she is a true hero...his hero.