A bright
flash of light awakened Frodo.
He opened his eyes into the darkness of his room and wondered if he had dreamt
the light. He looked at the window but saw only the pale square of his
curtains. Shifting onto his side, Frodo sighed, hoping that he would be able to
get back to sleep. For three days, an unseasonable heat wave had lain over the
Shire, and the air inside Bag End had grown heavy and wet. Even with the
windows and doors open, the smial was stifling. It was uncommon, but not rare,
to have weather like this in early October, but after three days, it had
certainly worn out its welcome.
A faint sound, like boulders tumbling down a far away hill, came to Frodo's
ears, and he understood then that lightning had awakened him. A storm was coming,
and with luck, the cool air of October would come behind it.
He sat up and plumped his pillows and lay down, but could not find a
comfortable position. He was over-warm, and sticky, and his left shoulder and
arm ached. All that day, he had tried to ignore the pain, but now, in the
night's silence and darkness, he could not tell himself that maybe he had just
slept the wrong way on that arm, or perhaps he had only lifted something too
heavy. It was the old wound, the same as had troubled him the year before, and
in March. Frodo remembered little of his March illness, and the Cottons had
dismissed it with such forced gaiety that Frodo had not pressed them. But he
knew it had started like this, with an ache in his shoulder and arm. Soon the
cold would come, and then his arm would go numb and stiff and then…Frodo did
not know what happened after that. In March, he recalled, he had been sitting
in his room in the morning, trying to overlook the worsening pain and chill in
his side. He had closed his eyes for a moment, and when he had opened them
again, night had fallen, and he had found himself in bed with hot water bottles
arranged around his left side, and no knowledge of how he had gotten there.
When he had tried to sit up, he had felt exhausted and dizzy, as if he had been
ill with fever for days.
Another flash of lightning filled the room and Frodo involuntarily jumped, then
hissed against the twinge of pain in his shoulder. But it's better than last
year. he assured himself. It's getting better. He put his hand into
the collar of his nightshirt and his body was warm and damp from the heat but
when he touched two fingertips to the wound he thought he could feel a slight
chill there, as if a splinter of ice was buried just under the skin. He pressed
a little harder, although it pained him, and now he was certain that the scar
was indeed cold to his touch. And what if it is? he thought. It will
take time to heal. A little better every year. Slow and steady.
The rumble of thunder came again, and now it seemed a bit closer. Frodo
could tell that the storm was moving in from the East. When he was a lad, Bilbo
had told him that if he counted the seconds between lightning and thunder, he
would know how far away the storm was. Frodo had not remembered to count after
the last lightning stroke, but the storm still sounded far in the East. Far as
Buckland, perhaps. Was the cool air already passing over Brandy Hall? Was rain
swelling the currents of the Brandywine?
No, a few minutes, not seconds, had passed between lightning and thunder. The
storm was farther away than Buckland. The lightning flashed, and for a brief
moment, Frodo saw everything in his room lit by its spectral blue light. Frodo
wondered why everyone always said of lightning, "It was bright as day!" Lightning
was nothing like daylight; it had none of the warmth and wholesomeness of
sunshine. It was an eerie, unearthly light, the sort only evil things could
favor.
Suddenly Frodo realized he had forgotten to count. He estimated the number of
seconds he had missed …ten…and started counting from there. But a flare of pain
as sudden as lightning interrupted him, and he clutched at his shoulder and dug
his fingernails into his skin until it passed. Oh, but that one had hurt…he
could not pretend that it had not. It had felt as it some icy spiked thing had
turned itself over deep within the flesh of his shoulder, tearing as it went.
He patted himself on the arm and smiled faintly. Well, it's over now. It was
bad, but it's over now. Maybe that will be all this year.
Now the thunder came and Frodo did not think it was as close as Buckland.
No, it was much farther East than that. Far as the Barrow-downs. The walls of
the Barrow-wight's tomb had fallen in about it, but surely it must still be
there, imprisoned in the earth. Was it lying at this moment in its black tomb
listening to rain pelt the downs, even as Frodo listened to the distant
thunder? Frodo shuddered, and pain whispered in his shoulder.
Or was the storm even farther than that? Far as Weathertop. Strider had called
it Amon Sûl, and somehow that ancient name had seemed more fitting. How dark it
had been in the dell! How dark it would be there now, with the rain falling on
it, running through its cracks and gullies, collecting between the broken
stones. Was his blood still on those stones, Frodo wondered, or had enough rain
fallen in two years to wash it away? If only the rain could so easily wash away
other things! The lightning struck again and as clearly as if he looked upon it
with his own eyes, Frodo saw the ring of stones atop Amon Sûl, lit by that
devilish light. He whimpered low in his throat, without knowing that he did so,
and a trickle of ice seemed to seep from his wound.
Thunder again, and this time it was loud and close, closer than Frodo would
have liked. How did the storm come so close, so quickly? Frodo pictured it
rolling in from the East, a great black shadow, darker than the night itself.
Where had it come from, this storm? From the sea, from the fair shores of
Belfalas? From mountains, far inland, whose name Frodo did not know? Lightning,
and Frodo saw it even though his eyes were tightly shut. A volley of thunder
followed on its heels. He curled his knees up to his chest and his left side
throbbed in protest at being shifted.
Had the storm come from Mordor? That, too, was in the East. Now suddenly, Frodo
was certain that it had. He had never asked what had become of the Black Land,
and no one had ever told him. The host of Lórien had taken Dol Guldur and
cleansed the forest, but what could ever cleanse the ashy plains and slag heaps
of Mordor's poisoned country? Frodo imagined the rain falling upon Mordor and
boiling away into bitter steam even as it struck. Only the sea could purify
such a place, and even then it would have to cover the land for a thousand
years ere the blight was removed.
The thunder boomed again, now seeming directly over Frodo's head, and he
shrieked and put his hands over his ears. His heart was racing. Frodo put his
right hand over it and as he did so his thumb touched the smooth surface of the
white gem that Queen Arwen had given him, and he reached up and seized it in
his hand.
The pain and cold in his side lessened and his mind seemed instantly to clear.
Suddenly he felt terribly foolish to have been frightened by something as
harmless as a thunderstorm, nothing but bright light and loud noise, a simple
phenomenon of weather. How silly! In the morning, when the storm had passed and
a bright blue October sky covered the land, he would tell Sam and Rosie about it,
and they would all have a good laugh. Frodo smiled and would have laughed now,
but something distracted him, some small sound near the window. He looked at
the window just as lightning struck again, and he saw that the white curtains
that had hung so listlessly during the three days of heat were now flapping in
the storm-driven wind. What a nuisance of a sound, why the devil had he left
that window open? Frodo decided he would get up and close the window but
suddenly the room seemed very dark and the window seemed very far away and
altogether it seemed that his bed was a better place to be. It was just a
curtain flapping, after all, but the sound reminded Frodo of things. It
reminded him of how the pale king's white shroud had twisted about him just before
Frodo had felt the blade sink into his shoulder like poisoned ice. It reminded
him of the sound of Gollum's feet and hands slapping on the stones of Emyn Muil
and through the wet earth of the marshes and over the old crossroads and up the
straight stair, the straight stair and the hidden passage, the hidden passage
and the winding stair, the winding stair and the tunnel, the tunnel and into
Mordor. Mordor.
Frodo closed his eyes and the white gem fell from his hand and he ground his
teeth against the reawakened pain in his shoulder, and a new blaze of pain at
the back of his neck. Mordor, ever-defiled, which only the sea could cleanse.
But no sea covered the land of Mordor. It was still there, in the East, as he
and Sam had left it, and Frodo could see it now beneath a mantle of cloud,
smoldering under the rain, its towers and turrets standing dark and empty
against the sky. But the land was not wholly empty, for evil things still
walked there, lost and bewailing the downfall of their master, and the lightning
revealed them creeping across the waste, and when the thunder roared they
howled with it into the darkness. She was still there too, older than
Sauron she had been and so his fall had not meant her own but now she was
buried forever beneath the groaning dirt of Mordor and she consumed herself
with hatred and rage. The tower still stood, the tower where they had stripped
him and questioned him and beaten him. To Frodo, it seemed that he now stood in
the center of the room where he had been imprisoned. All was dark, the red
light was gone, but when the lightning came, it lit the room even to the
darkest corners and in them he could see the rags where he had lain and the
remains of his things, the shredded bits of cloak and pack that he had carried
with him from the Shire, still there after all these years, and there they
would remain until the sea finally did cover this awful place. From the window
of his prison he could see the mountain, silhouetted against the storm-wracked
sky each time the lightning flashed. It no longer smoked or belched fire, it
was cold and dark, but still it stood, a blackened canker on the surface of the
earth. And there It was, there had he lost It, and so It was destroyed, It had
gone into the fire of Its forging and was destroyed but was It? Was It truly,
or was there, could there be, perhaps, some tiny bit, just a sliver, a flake of
It, a little thing, too small to burn, even now, somewhere, somehow, sitting,
and waiting, under the dead bulk of that mountain?
The rain came at last, drumming hard upon the roof of the smial. Frodo's window
blew wide open and snapped against its hinges. The sharp sound brought Frodo
back to himself, but only a little, and, he knew, not for long. He felt for the
white gem but could not find it, and so he laid his hand over his frozen
shoulder instead. "Wounded," he said to the darkness of his room. "It will
never really heal." A cold gust of wind blew through the window, smelling of
the East. The wind howled about the eaves and over Bag End as if it would tear
the very roof off the place. With his last conscious thought, Frodo wished that
it would, and that it would find him here, and bear him away, and that this
would be over, at last.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Note: The other day I heard someone's car radio playing Bob Seger's
"Night Move." Not the world's greatest song, but there's always been one line
in it that I love, and that always strikes me as not only sad, but vaguely
fearful:
I woke last night to the sound of thunder
How far off? I sat and wondered.
So the line got stuck in my head, as such things will, and was running through
my head all weekend. Last night, just before bed, I started plotting out this
little story in my head, and when I finally went to bed, it kept me awake. "The
hell with this!" I said to myself, and then, just before I fell asleep, weirdly
enough, I was awakened by one bright flash of lightning, and one rumble of
thunder…just one of each…followed by a pounding rain that lasted the night. Now
it was rainy here all day yesterday, but thunderstorms are pretty darn
unusual in the Northeast US in February, so I thought that was just enough of
an odd coincidence to compel me to write the story. Thanks for reading.
