Title: Five Deaths Joshua Lyman Never Died
Author: Kerry
Rating: PG
Summary: Five short drabbles. Josh centric, no happy endings.
Author's note: With the end of the Bartlet reign drawing nearer, I
find myself rather melancholy. This is my first West Wing fic. Please
let me know what you think.
i. expectations
He doesn't even look at the paper. He doesn't have to. It doesn't
matter what it says. She's leaving.
"Josh-"
"Don't." He can hear the tears in his voice, but he can't feel them.
He knows they are falling.
"Please, this is a great opportunity, if you would just listen–"
"No." He doesn't want to listen. He doesn't want to feel.
She sighs and gathers her things before turning to leave. She stops
at the door, watching him a moment longer, but he does not look at
her. "Good-bye, Joshua. I'm sorry."
And then she is gone.
ii. red hot
The fire burns against his skin. He isn't supposed to be here. The
smoke is blinding, and his eyes burn, and he is now desperately
searching for a way out. But first he has to find his sister.
A beam falls and knocks him to the ground. He doesn't see the fire
begin to spread. All he sees is the golden haired angel slowly
walking towards him. Her blue eyes sparkle, and he reaches his hand
out to her.
He lets the angel guide him to the heavens, never looking back. His
mother cried for two days straight.
They buried him on a Wednesday.
iii. buried lead
He doesn't even notice it at first. There is a sharp pain in his
chest and then nothing. It is not until his back hits the stone that
he recognizes the pain. White-hot pain surging through his body.
Buried lead invading his lungs.
He can hear them screaming. He thinks he hears her voice, but he
knows she is not there. He remembers her smile and her laugh. He
remembers how much he loves her.
His last thought is that it isn't supposed to end this way. He isn't
supposed to leave his Donnatella behind.
They don't find him till morning.
iv. regret
He speeds all the way to the airport. The lights flash colors, but
he's not sure if he notices. He thinks he runs over a bird.
The airplane is cold. The flight attendant asks him if he wants a
drink, and he growls at her. She doesn't come back. The letters make
his eyes burn with pain. He thinks he cries, but he can't remember.
It is night when the airplane lands. He finds a taxi and rushes to
the hospital. The only thing he thinks about is how much he loves his
Donnatella.
She dies five minutes before he arrives.
v. i do
Her hair looks too bright in the sun. It's blinding. She walks down
the isle on her father's arm, to stubborn to look nervous. The music
is an old classical symphony, instead of the traditional wedding
march. She makes a beautiful bride.
Another man stands at the altar, smiling as if his dreams are coming
true. Her father lifts her veil and kisses her cheek. She hands her
bouquet to her bridesmaid. She smiles and takes her groom's hand.
"I, Jack Reese, promise to love, honor and cherish, Donnatella Moss…"
He leaves before he can hear her say it too.