A/N: This is not my normal writing style, but I enjoyed writing it. Let me know what you think :)
Appreciation: To all writers everywhere and on this site. Thank you for making my day brighter, and keep writing everyone ^_^
Warning: Rated T for suggestive themes and alcohol references.
Disclaimer: Harvest Moon is not mine.
It was a night they would always remember-
Lillian took in a breath of air, allowing the scent of alcohol to flood her senses. His hands and face were warm against her, and she gasped as a kiss to her neck made blood rush to her head. She felt lightheaded, vaguely aware of the tight hold he had on her hair or the way he had her pinned against the ground. She couldn't understand the passion that ran through her, and she honestly didn't want to try.
She only wanted to feel.
Lillian didn't remember falling asleep, but when she got nudged back into the waking world her eyes squinted from the morning's light. She let a groan leave her lips as her arm fell over her eyes. Someone chuckled beside her.
Her head spun.
Lillian lifted her arm to sneak a glance at the boy who sat next to her, and saw Cam staring down at her with an indifferent look across his face. Her eyes adjusted to the sunlight as she watched him lift a lighter to the cigarette that hung low out of his mouth.
She tensed, but no words came to stop him. Not this time.
She watched him sit there, and her heart started to beat with a quickened speed. There could only be one reason why he would let her see him like this.
A silent question hung heavy in the air between them.
The events of the night before started to come back to her. Slowly, they trickled in before all of the information decided to hit her with a bang at full speed. She sat up quickly, making her aware of an ache that throbbed in her right temple.
"They aren't awake yet, don't worry I checked." Cam blew smoke into the air, locking his eyes onto her own.
Lillian's stomach tightened, and the guilt overpowered her. She averted her eyes from him.
It was true that she held feelings for the boy who sat across from her, but she had never thought she would act upon them. She was in an exclusive relationship with his best friend, and had been for the past two happy years.
His name was Ash, and he was sleeping in one of the tents about forty feet away from them.
Her breath became shallow and haggard as she tried not to puke.
She loved Ash, and there was nothing in her mind or heart that would lead her to believe otherwise. Ash was always there for her, did anything for her, and had a warmth about him that made her feel safe in his arms.
Lillian could feel the anxiety eat away at her stomach, and she began to accept the constant throb in her head as some sort of punishment for going behind her boyfriend's back. She was disgusted.
She was a cheater.
"You regret it." she looked up at Cam and saw him rubbing out his cigarette on the ground next to him. He looked up at her and she couldn't stop the wave of emotion that hit her. She felt like crying and passing out at the same time, and leaned forward hoping the feeling of faint would pass. He grabbed her as she started to fall and she collapsed on top of him. The familiar scent of grass and spring hit her tenfold.
Cam held her close, burying his face into her hair as she cried on him.
Lillian felt him tighten his hold, and she felt a spark from last night surface into her mind. She realized with certainty that this was definitely Cam who had his arms wrapped around her right now. Memories danced around her head, and her anxiety of what happened increased as she realized the danger of this situation possibly affecting their friendship.
She wouldn't know what to do with herself if she couldn't talk with Cam anymore, he could understand her in ways that Ash never could. She could be completely open with Cam, and knew that he would never think differently of her no matter what she had said. He was the guy that shared her same sick and demented humor that Ash never thought was funny.
This was the boy who kissed her and made her feel more alive then she had ever felt before.
They sat in silence for awhile, neither one of them loosening their grip on the other.
Lillian's heart was racing, a loss for what to do. She loved Ash, and nothing would ever make her want to leave him. The idea that she did something that could hurt him on so many different levels made her feel sick.
She took in a deep breath, in attempt to calm her nerves. Cam's faint spring scents were barely noticeable under the strong smell of old alcohol and cigarettes.
Lillian internally cringed; she could hardly even bear the thought of having to hurt Cam this way. He was easily her best friend, hands down. His friendship was the one thing that had kept her grounded these past years… and Ash had been there too, through everything good and bad.
Never before had Lillian ever felt such nerve racking fear, anything she did now was going to lead to hurt and heartbreak for someone.
How could she have let this happen?
Cam loosened his grip on her before he let go. She watched as he pulled out his pack again before shoving another cigarette to his mouth. He glanced at her, with a look on his face that she couldn't quite read. He then sighed, and took the cigarette out of his mouth before he threw it back into the box with the others.
"You know they're going to wake up soon." he said quietly to the ground, "I'll do whatever you want me to."
Lillian followed his lead and let her gaze bore into the ground, "Cam..." her voice sounded hollow, and foreign in her ears. "You're… my best friend." She didn't feel she had the strength to get through this conversation. "I don't want Ash to get hurt." she practically whispered as she fumbled over her words, but she knew he understood her. "I don't know what to do..."
His hand was fidgeting with a flower that was beginning to bloom, "I meant what I said last night."
Her mind raced to her foggy memories of last night, and whispered words of love and adoration surfaced to her memory. She closed her eyes as she tried to fight back tears.
"Lillian..." she felt his hands on her face, and they felt surprising more calloused then she had remembered. She could hardly even respond to what was happening. The smell of smoke twirled around her head. He leaned in and she let him.
He really was a great kisser.
Her anxiety and guilt left for a moment as he kissed her slow and soundly. His hands shook from nerves. It didn't last long, and when they parted he opened his eyes with uncertainty. They pleaded for an answer as his silent question still hung in the air around them.
Lillian's eyes started to sting at the corners, her mind raced. "He's your best friend Cam." she said softly, and he let his head fall before he turned away from her.
"Do you think I haven't thought about that?" he said quietly, "I don't know why... I…" he never did finish his sentence.
Lillian put her hands in her face, she wanted nothing more then to throw her arms around him and make him smile.
"We better get back to camp." she heard him say. She looked up to see him standing over her, a hand outstretched to her. She grabbed it and let him help her up off the ground. The contact of feeling his hand in hers sent an electric shock through her veins. She held back a sob as she stared up into his eyes.
"Are things going to change between us?" She whispered.
He looked away from her, "No."
"You promise to not avoid me?" she asked him honestly.
"I promise." He said.
Her heart banged in her ears making her headache scream. She looked at him, and all her mind and heart could think was that he was lying. He was lying. She knew that nothing would ever be the same with him. How could it?
Her long relationship with Ash somehow outweighed her feelings for the man standing in front of her in that moment. Be it for guilt, love, or fear of owning up to what she had done she didn't know. She loved Cam… but she couldn't picture her life in town without Ash as a constant by her side.
Conflicted emotions constricted her heart. She definitely loved them both, in two perfectly different ways. How could she choose between them? Was staying with Ash even right after what she had done with his best friend? Did she deserve him? Was she making a mistake with Cam? She was losing her best friend…
She grabbed his hand again slowly, and they both watched their fingers intertwine.
The silence between them never felt so intimate.
"I'm going to miss you." he said softly as he pulled his hand out of her loose grip. His head turned away from her, and he hid his face as he walked passed.
She wanted to move, to scream at him to turn around and talk this out with her. There had to be a solution, there had to be another way. She was losing him, losing him, losing him, and her breath hitched at the sight of him walking further and further away. Her body was frozen to the spot, and itched to run after him at the same time. All she could do was watch as he made his way back to camp, and the moment slipped through her fingers a little too fast.
He didn't look back as he walked. Just pulled out a cigarette, and lifted it to his lips.
-and it was a morning that could change the course of everything.