Title: What Might Have Been
Author: amy9352
Pairing: Bella/Jacob
Genre: Angst
Rating: T
Banner: Kraftychic
Summary: Still human, older and divorced, Bella stands alone in her New York apartment, daydreaming of a life that could have been hers. Idea came from kraftychic's banner.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
What Might Have Been
Bella worked her way through the crowded New York City sidewalks, carefully watching each step to avoid any slippery patches of snow or ice. Her wool coat and leather gloves barely enough protection from the harsh winters of the northeast – a place she'd called home for the past four years.
All around her, the spirit of Christmas was alive – children laughing, parents rushing out for last minute gifts, the smell of fresh cut trees and cinnamon. A time when people let their guards down and spent a little extra time remembering the important things.
It was this time of year that always brought with it thoughts of what might have been – if she could only go back and change one mindless decision.
Four years ago, she'd walked away from a family she loved, but one that could never evolve or mature and were forever frozen in a place that no longer held her interest. A family that in her childish years, she'd foolishly envisioned spending an eternity with.
But it wasn't the Cullen's she dreamed of a life with – never questioning if her decision to move on was right or wrong. Instead, her thoughts always drifted back to the boy with a smile that could light up the darkest of nights. The one that always gave the very best hugs, wrapping her in a warmth she hadn't felt since – a warmth she so desperately craved in frigid temperatures such as these.
The one who had healed her soul when it was believed to be beyond the bounds of possibility.
A boy she had let slip through her fingers when she should have held on so tight.
Jacob.
A choice she'd give just about anything to change, but one that could never be undone.
So, as she made her way to her high rise over on sixth street, she let herself remember the boy who loved her so much he came – pushing aside the hurt, but not quite able to fight off the tears in his eyes - to dance with her at her wedding. The same one who begged her to see what was right in front of her, but she was too caught up in Edward to notice.
She tried to imagine how things might have been different if only she had returned to Forks after leaving that life behind. Through Charlie, she'd learned it had taken Jacob nearly six years to move on, but he finally let her go. He was finally happy - her father told her - married, with an infant son. The pack had all worked together using lumber from their land to build their Alpha's family a nice home. A home just big enough to accommodate the large family Jacob had always wanted.
Selfishly, just for a moment, she wished it had been her.
Looking out over the heavily-trafficked, busy streets of the city in which she now lived, so different from the sleepy town of Forks, she missed home – her dad, the pack, and most of all, Jake. She missed the wind blowing through the trees, the rain she had once hated, and the lively, night sounds of the lush forests surrounding her childhood home – sounds that were never heard here in New York.
With rapid growth and expansion, buildings on top of buildings, and a high demand for more, she had to drive miles outside the city to catch a glimpse of nature's beauty. Pushing all that aside, though, she was content, had built herself a comfortable life and never had to fear an unexpected run-in with her past.
Not the Cullens, who could never exist in a world with so many humans around. And certainly not Jacob, who would never fit in a place like this. He belonged in La Push, living out his days running through the woodlands and protecting his tribe.
He belonged with his wife and son – the two people that gave him the happiness she never could.
As she reached her empty apartment, she shuffled down the short hallway to her bedroom, pushing aside the heavy silk curtains covering her window. Outside, the skyline was breathtaking, but it couldn't touch what she saw as she closed her eyes, imagining a life where different choices were made. The vision so lovely and real, it was almost as if he were right there beside her.
It was her in his wife's place as he stole a kiss beneath the mistletoe. Their son that Jake taught everything he needed to know about Santa and Rudolph. And it was her that fell asleep snuggled in peace and warmth only Jacob could bring.
A future that could have so easily belonged to her, if only she had accepted what Jacob so willingly offered.
What might have been – it was beautiful.