He was such an idiot.
Mom hadn't been gone two weeks before he and Lois had their first real argument, and it wasn't the sort of word play that they'd become accustomed to with each other. And his mother wasn't there to act as a good-natured referee.
No, this was the sort of argument where Clark knew he was wrong right out of the gate and no matter how much he tried to explain, it only seemed to make things worse. It only seemed to make her angrier, or was it more hurt? He couldn't really tell because she wouldn't talk to him.
And it was his fault.
They were still having dinner together, but he might as well have been eating by himself. When he would try and initiate a conversation, she would glance at him but not answer. She would help him with the dishes, but without her habit of flicking soapsuds at him or smacking him on the shoulder with a dish towel when he would say something to bait her.
He liked doing that, getting a rise out of her because she never disappointed him with her reaction. But now, nothing. For two days, absolutely nothing.
He hated that.
If he had just thought about what it was that he was saying and what it would mean to her, he would have thought better about bringing up the subject. But as had become their habit, they would take a walk around the farm after dinner or sit out on the swing and he would tell her more about his abilities or share what little knowledge he had about Krypton.
On one such walk, after Mom went back to Washington, Clark explained to Lois about the different types of Kryptonite that existed and how they affected him, but he chose to focus on the one that was most dangerous to him; green.
But he should have known that she would have focused on the one that directly involved her. And that was where he got himself into trouble, red Kryptonite.
Idiot!
It should have occurred to him that by talking about Kryptonite she would remember that particular Valentine's Day; and put two and two together. But he'd figured that it had been so long, she wouldn't. He really should have known better.
'Red Kryptonite.' She'd stopped suddenly and frowned. 'You said that it lowers your inhibitions.'
'Yeah.' Clark realized too late what it was that he'd said.
'The lipstick that gypsy sold me had crushed meteor rocks in it. For the color, she said.' Lois' frown had deepened. 'So when I kissed you, it would have affected you and made you less inhibited.'
'Uh-huh.' He'd closed his eyes and sighed.
'And because the aphrodisiac lowered my inhibitions, there's no telling what we might have done.'
'Lois, nothing happened; I promise.' He'd tried to reassure her and the look of shock on her face at his admission had made him wince.
'You told me that you didn't remember anything.'
'I never said that, you just assumed I didn't.' His answer had only gotten him into more trouble.
'You let me assume it, you big jerk!' She'd shoved at his chest and started to walk back to the house before stopping to face him, looking absolutely deflated. 'Clark, you lied to me.'
'Yes.' He'd reluctantly admitted with a nod. 'You were so uncomfortable with the whole thing because all you knew was what Chloe told you and I didn't want to add to that by telling you that I remembered.'
'So you lied to me.' She wasn't going to let him off the hook and he'd known it.
'Yes.' He'd repeated. 'But how would you have felt knowing that I took you to Oliver's penthouse and we ended up kissing on a couch?'
'And that's all?' She'd eyed him suspiciously, probably trying to gauge if she should believe him. 'It didn't go beyond that.'
'No.'
'Give me one good reason why I should believe you.' Lois had folded her arms across her chest and Clark knew that anything he told her at that point, she probably wouldn't have believed.
'Because it's the truth.'
'Yeah.' She'd nodded skeptically. "And seeing as how it was just the two of us, you expect me to believe that?"
"Yes." Clark could sense very clearly that he wasn't making any headway with her, but repeated it just the same. "Because it's the truth."
He should have foreseen that even though their relationship was different than it was then, that her reaction would be exactly what it should have been. He had lied to her and she'd rightly called him on it because red Kryptonite aside, it had boiled down to the trust she'd placed in him.
And right now, that trust was in thin supply.
With the evening dishes done, Lois hung the dishtowel up to dry and headed for the kitchen stairs, leaving Clark standing alone in the middle of the room. He really wanted to say something to her, but didn't have a chance when the front doorbell rang. "You better get that."
He walked out of the kitchen, through the living room and headed to the front hall and when he opened the door, Oliver was standing on the front porch.
"So Clark, how's life on the home front?" He asked as Clark let him into the house.
"Quiet." He glanced back toward the kitchen before he closed the door. "Lois isn't speaking to me at the moment."
"Why?"
"I lied to her." He sighed and looked into Oliver's startled face. "It's something that happened after you broke up with her and left Metropolis."
Clark really didn't want to have to explain it to his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend.
"Clark, why would you lie to her?"
"To save her a lot of embarrassment." He sighed again. "We were in a situation where we weren't ourselves and she doesn't remember it."
His friend's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "You didn't."
He couldn't seem to complete the thought and Clark frowned. "No. That's what Lois thought."
A realization seemed to hit Oliver and stunningly, he tried not to smile. "There was a report that my penthouse had been broken into somewhere around that Valentine's Day. It never occurred to me that it might be you, and Lois."
He turned away and Clark had the uncomfortable feeling that he was laughing before he turned back around, his composure regained. "Some Boy Scout you are."
"Oliver, this isn't funny. She's really mad at me."
"Can you blame her?" His look turned serious. "Nothing may have happened, but she doesn't know that."
"I keep trying to explain it to her, but every time I do I just make it worse." Clark ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he walked back into the living room and sat down on the couch.
"Well then stop trying to explain it and give her some time to think about it." Oliver advised. "There's so much about you that she didn't know until a month ago and I think she's been handling it really well. But to find out that she was in a situation with you that she wouldn't have been caught dead in at the time, is a lot to accept."
"Thanks."
"You know what I mean." Clark looked up to see an annoyingly knowing look on his face. "She always had a soft spot for you, even when we were together. I just didn't know how soft." And Oliver laughed as he sat down next to him. "It's obvious that even then she had feelings for you that she wouldn't admit to and it didn't have anything to do with me."
"It wasn't her; it was the aphrodisiac."
"Come on, Clark. You don't really believe that do you?" Oliver looked at him with an incredulous expression. "All that lipstick did was show that there were some strong feelings between the two of you, which I think you already knew."
"What are you talking about?" His heart started to hammer in his chest because Oliver Queen had the singular ability to force Clark to face things he'd rather not.
"AC told me about his first visit to Smallville and how you seemed to take exception to his interest in Lois." He grinned. "Now why would that be?"
"She was my friend and I didn't know anything about him." Clark tried to defend himself.
"It wasn't any of your business and yet you made a point of finding out." He pressed.
"Lois thought I was being overprotective."
Oliver's grin got wider and Clark knew what was coming. "You weren't being overprotective, you were jealous."
"How could I be jealous, I had a girlfriend." He couldn't have been, could he? He was supposed to have been in love with Lana.
"That may be. But it didn't seem to stop you, did it?"
"I just didn't want her to get hurt." Clark sighed and it was then that Oliver decided to let him off the hook.
"I know." He agreed and put a hand on Clark's shoulder. "How is it that the men who care about her the most are the ones who seem to hurt her the most?"
"She's thinking about moving back to the Talon." He ran a hand through his hair again. "She said that if she can't trust me not to lie to her, maybe she can't trust me sleeping down the hall."
"You know she doesn't mean that."
Clark looked over at him. "Yes she does. Even when she's mad, Lois doesn't say things she doesn't mean."
"That's true." He seemed reluctant to admit it and a puzzled look crossed his face. "Clark, have you ever told her about kissing Green Arrow?"
Where had that come from?
"Why would I want to do that?"
"It just occurred to me that since she's already mad at you, you really should tell her about that too." He shrugged. "You know, get it all out there."
"I can't." Clark shook his head.
"When you and Lois first started dating, you told me that you wanted to have a relationship with her without any secrets." Oliver reminded him. "And this will come out eventually, secrets like this always do. So don't you think it's better if it comes from you now and not when you're forced to tell her?"
"If I tell her about that, she'll never trust me again."
"If you don't tell her and she finds out, you're right. So why not just make it easier on yourself and give her the chance to accept this too."
Oliver was right, he usually was.
"Look, I'm going to leave and let you get upstairs." He stood up. "Lois needs to know about this."
"I know." Clark nodded reluctantly and sighed as he stood up and walked his friend to the door.
"Clark, there's one thing that you need to remember." Oliver put his hand on the knob and stopped.
"What's that?"
"For all of your worry about her not trusting you again, she is still here. That has to count for something." He opened the door and stepped out, closing it behind him.
But for how long? For all Clark knew, she was upstairs packing and the only way to know that for sure was to go talk to her.
He took the stairs up to the second floor and walked down the hall to her room. He knocked softly on the door, acknowledging to himself that he was doing the right thing. It was better for her and for them that he come clean with everything that he'd kept from her.
The future of their relationship depended on it.
He opened her door slowly and founding her sitting on the edge of the bed, facing the window. "What do you want?"
"I know you're not speaking to me right now and I understand why. But there's something else I need to tell you and you're not going to like it."
"I heard." She sighed.
A joke about super hearing would not be a good idea, he told himself.
"And you've got some explaining to do." He recognized that edge to her voice. She was either about to launch into him again or about to cry.
He'd prefer it if she yelled because that he could handle. But when she cried, he might as well have been standing in a field of Kryptonite, the sound of it made him feel so weak.
Especially when he was the cause of it.
"Spill it, Smallville." She was going to launch into him. "When were you going to tell me that you knew Ollie was Green Arrow?"
He stepped into the room and stopped again when he saw her back go ramrod straight; he was in so much trouble.
"And when were you going to tell me that it was you that I kissed in the alley that night?" She let out a frustrated sigh. "All this time, every time you kissed me I had no idea. How could I have been so stupid?"
"You weren't stupid Lois."
"You made a fool out of me. You and Ollie."
Clark shook his head even though he knew Lois couldn't see it. "Honey, we weren't trying to make a fool out of you." He started.
"Don't call me that." She growled.
It had become such a habit that he hadn't realized the endearment. "Lois, we weren't trying to make a fool out of you." He repeated. "He was worried that you were going to find out who he was and." Clark stopped.
It took his mind a moment to process the fact that Lois knew about Oliver's alter ego. "You know about Oliver being Green Arrow?"
Silence.
"Lois?"
He watched as she slowly nodded. "I've known for a long time."
The shattered glass in Oliver's penthouse, that's what it had to be.
"And you never said anything." Clark couldn't help but smile. She'd kept Oliver's identity so safe that he didn't have any indication she knew.
"It wasn't my place to tell." She told him and sighed again. "All right. You're off the hook for that, but you still have some explaining to do about Valentine's Day."
"What do you want to know?"
She glanced behind her shoulder at him and she was frowning. "What do you think?"
"What do you remember?" He stepped toward the bed and to his amazement, Lois moved over to make room for him, so he closed the distance and sat down next to her.
"I know that Jimmy Olsen set us up." She started.
"Hot fudge and halibut." Don't smile, Clark.
"Wrong thing to say Smallville." She shook her head sharply.
"Sorry." He apologized before he took a deep breath. "I was feeling sorry for myself because Lex and Lana were getting married and I knew that it was a mistake."
"But it was her mistake to make." Lois glanced at him as she pointed out the obvious.
"I know that now." Clark agreed. "But at the time I couldn't see that. Chloe was trying to cheer me up and she invited me to the Talon for coffee, not realizing that they were celebrating Valentine's Day in a really big way." He shook his head at the memory.
"And Jimmy invited me, without telling Chloe." She added. "She told me later that he did it because he thought we had chemistry."
We did. We do, he amended it to himself because he knew she wasn't in the mood to hear it.
"It obviously didn't take us long to figure out what he'd done and I left."
"And the gypsy lady found me." He'd bet that she was frowning and Clark glanced at her.
"Lois, what do you remember?"
"After I put that lipstick on, not much." She shook her head. "It's like a dream you have when you can only remember bits and pieces, but you can't put enough of it together to see the whole picture." She glanced at him again and her face was flushed. "But I'm guessing that you can do that for me."
"I can. So do you want the details or just a Cliff Notes version?" He wasn't trying to be evasive; he just didn't know how much she wanted to know.
"I don't know." Her voice was breathless because she probably wasn't sure what to expect if he told her everything. Clark had to admit to liking the sound of it because he was the only man who could do that to her.
"Cliff Notes version." He decided. "But if you ever want to know more, just ask."
"All right." Lois seemed to brace herself and he had to remind himself again not to smile.
"Lois, we kissed that night but nothing more." He felt the need to tell her that again.
"Why?" Did she sound hurt? He wasn't expecting that.
"Why?"
"If we were so into each other because of that love lipstick, then why didn't anything happen?"
Every time Clark thought he had Lois figured out, she threw him a hanging curve ball. "Are you mad that we didn't?"
With super speed he didn't know she had, Lois' fist shot out and she punched his arm. The question obviously angered her, but he wasn't sure why.
"Honey, talk to me." He reached over tentatively for her hand and surprisingly; she let him take it. "Are you mad about that?"
He was startled when she suddenly scoot close to him and put her cheek on his shoulder. "I'm mad because I can't remember any of it."
"I know you can't, but I want you to think about this. You do remember what happened between us when I kissed you at the charity ball and I didn't do it because of red Kryptonite and an aphrodisiac." And then he grinned because he couldn't help it. "Well, actually your perfume."
"Clark."
"Sorry." He dropped a kiss in her hair and she didn't object. "My point is, is that we were ourselves. And everything that's happened between us since then has been real.
"That night wasn't real because it wasn't us." He tried to explain and wasn't sure how much sense he was making. "We weren't in a place where we were ready for that. And as nice as it was, it just wasn't time yet."
"See, that's what I mean." Lois sat up, her hand still in his. "It may not have been time yet, but you still get to remember."
"But what you remember since that night at the Regent is what's important because that's been us; you and me, together." He squeezed her fingers. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about what happened that Valentine's Day. It's something you had a right to know, especially after you became my girlfriend."
"Have you ever lied to me since we've been together?" She caught his eye.
"No." He shook his head. "I have no reason to lie to you."
"So I know everything now?" Lois wasn't quite ready to bury the hatchet, he suspected.
"As far as I know." He told her honestly. "You knew pretty much everything anyway just from being my friend. It was just those two things that I hadn't told you."
"Three, actually." She reminded him and he smiled at her. Krypton.
"You're right, three."
"Clark?" She put her cheek back on his shoulder and sighed.
"What?" He rest his cheek on her hair.
"I don't like being mad at you." She admitted. "But you gave me good reason."
"I know I did." Clark agreed. "So is it safe for me to assume that you're not mad anymore?"
"I'm not mad anymore." Lois shook her head and they sat in the quiet of the room, not saying anything more because there wasn't a need. Their non-verbals were saying it all.
"So tell me Smallville, how far did you get?" He could hear the humor in her voice and tried not to sigh with relief; the storm really had passed.
"How far did I get?" What was she talk...oh!
"You know, first base, second." And she laughed softly. "I mean, you obviously didn't hit a home run."
"Lois." His face was burning with a blush and she probably knew it.
"Third?" She squeezed his hand.
"No!" His voice cracked in embarrassment and Lois leaned up to kiss his cheek.
"You really are cute when you blush." She told him. "So what happened, or, what didn't happen?"
"I saw the invitation to Lex and Lana's engagement dinner and I balked." He explained simply.
"And where were we in proximity to said invitation?" Lois asked him and he sighed.
"Too close."
"That's obvious." She was quiet for a moment and then added honestly. "Too bad."
"Not really." He shook his head gently. "When that time does come for us, I don't want there to be anything hazy or unclear about it."
"Me either." Lois rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. "But in the meantime, you need to get out of here."
"Are you all right?" He leaned away to look at her and she rolled her eyes at him.
"I'm giving you fair warning, that's all. So shoo!"
He took the hand he held and brought it to his lips and kissed her fingers. "I get the picture."
"I thought you would." She smiled at him as he let go of her hand and stood up. "Would you mind if I took the bathroom first? It's not that late, so I thought I'd stay up here and get some work done after I grab a shower."
"It's all yours." He agreed as he walked to the door and the sound of Lois' soft voice stopped him as he stepped out into the hallway.
"I love you."
"I love you too Lois."
"How could you not?" He heard her laugh again as he walked to the stairs and shook his head in amusement.
How could he not?