Don't Let Go
Being soeurs with the famous Rosa Gigantea wasn't something that she had thought would happen to her. But ever since she had met that captivating blonde woman under the big sakura tree, she couldn't help but wondered if it was fate that brought her to the spot. Also, it was the same place that the older blonde had asked her to be her petite soeur. Well, it wasn't much of a request. It was more like...it just happened. She had never thought something as innocent as following her heart could turn into a beautiful sin.
Toudou Shimako, Rosa Gigantea en bouton, the next successor to Satou Sei, Rosa Gigantea. She was the most popular among the Lillian girls. She was kind, beautiful and looked absolutely like an angel. How would anyone not be able to fall in love with her at first sight? That wasn't why she was so difficult to approach. She just couldn't find the courage to make friends that were out of her comfort zone. The Yumayurikai had been her sanctuary ever since she had started coming there as an assistant. Even though Sei had given her a cold shoulder at that time, she just didn't mind. It was as if she knew what the older girl was talking about. It was as if that girl was the missing piece to her puzzle. Well, maybe that wasn't it. They were a lot alike so Sei couldn't be the missing piece to her heart. Yet, she couldn't get Sei out of her mind and out of her heart. So when she had accepted that rosary, she knew that their time together would be short. But that hand, the hand that had held her throughout her first year at the school, had been so gentle and understanding. She didn't want to let go of that hand. She didn't even want to let go of what they had shared, even they had never spoken about it.
Sei had graduated. She had succeeded her as Rosa Gigantea. She knew that she would have to take in a petite soeur soon to follow her footsteps. Sei wasn't there to help her when the older girl was busy with University, the campus from next door. She could always go over there and talk to her, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. She was afraid that if she went and see the older girl, she would break down and pour her feelings out to the older girl. She had never been the kind of girl to force her feelings onto the other. But with Sei, her feelings for the former Rosa Gigantea, were suffocating her. Even when she met Noriko, even when the first year had eased a little of her heartache, she just couldn't seem to let go. She had even begun to wonder if Sei had already let go off of her. Maybe she had. After all, they barely met up. Sei was busy with her studies, she was busy with the Yumayurikai work. The two of them were busy, who would be able to squeeze in a catch-up schedule?
That was what she thought when she was the last one to leave the Rose Mansion one day. She had assured Noriko that she was fine, and that the younger girl should go home before her. When she was nearing the school entrance, she didn't expect to see a familiar face. Sei was leaning against the gate in her casuals, and even when she had cut her hair, she still looked charming as ever. Shimako couldn't slow down her beating heart when it was beating frantically inside her chest. Despite her inner turmoil, she managed to put on a serene smile as she stopped before Sei. She couldn't let the older girl know how she was feeling. After all, they had never talked about each other to one another. They didn't need to though. They knew each other just by one glance, as if their hearts were already connected.
"Shimako," Sei greeted with a warm smile after pulling her back off of the gate.
"Gokigenyou, Onee-sama," Shimako returned the warm smile with one of her serene ones.
That was all that was said as Sei turned, walking toward where the bus stop was as Shimako easily fell into steps with the older blonde. They didn't speak to each other, but that didn't mean they weren't enjoying the comfortable silent. Then all of the sudden, Sei grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the opposite path. She had let out a gasp but didn't question where the older blonde was pulling her to. She trusted Sei. She trusted the girl more than she trusted herself, which was her biggest weakness. Since she couldn't trust herself, she couldn't bring up her feelings when she knew that she could possibly fail at her first try at confessing.
When Sei had stopped beside a yellow car, she was wondering what the girl would be thinking until she was ushered inside. She complied without a word, and soon enough she found herself to be staring at the moving scenery. However, the scenery didn't do much to distract her. Her warm blue eyes fell on the driver, and she found herself in a dreamy state as she gazed at the beautiful blonde beside her. She must have been gazing at her for quite a while because when the car skidded to a stop, she blinked out of her reverie and looked away. When she did, her eyes landed on the beautiful landscape before them. The sun was setting and she couldn't help but getting out of the car to enjoy the atmosphere of the setting sun.
Shimako was just standing there with her arms outstretched as if she was able to hug the sun. Her eyes were twinkling in happiness, and her composure relaxed. When the gentle wind blew past, she closed her eyes and succumbed herself into nature. She felt so at ease that she didn't hear the sound of the car door being opening and closing, and the sound of footsteps coming closer behind her. She was too relaxed that when she felt a pair of arms encircled her waist, she almost jumped with fright. Her surprise didn't last long when she let her body fall into the body of the older woman. She felt warm. She felt like she was at home. No, that wasn't it. Whenever she was with Sei, she was home. Sei was her home, there was no doubt about it. She could only wish that she was brave enough to tell the older blonde. She hated herself for being so weak.
"What are you thinking, Shimako?"
Shimako didn't expect to feel the other girl's breath so close to her ear. She didn't even expect that Sei had already rested her chin atop her shoulder, so if she was to just turn her head, their lips would meet. Just the thought of that sent her heart into another somersault. She could swear that the other girl could easily hear the sound of her beating her, or even feel it, since Sei was that close to her. Now, back to the question that Sei had asked her. She had to think of something other than blurting out things that would embarrass her, and possibly hurt her in the end. However, lying wasn't what she wanted to do. Yes, she had lied before just to get out of an unnecessary situation. However, she couldn't bring herself to lie to Sei. She could hide her feelings for Sei, but when the girl would ask her about them, she knew that she wouldn't be able to hold back. So after analyzing what she was going to answer, she concluded that it was the best time to let her feelings be known. After all, they weren't attending the same school anymore.
"You."
Silence engulfed them. Shimako couldn't make of what the other girl was thinking. She didn't even want to think herself when the possibility of the other girl's thoughts would turn out to be negative for her. At that moment she felt like crying. Her tears were already settling underneath her eyes, unwilling to fall from her face. She tried not to tremble when the other girl was holding her. She didn't want to show Sei that she was so weak after Sei had gone. She didn't want to show Sei that she was afraid of rejection, in which she was. Her heart was already slowly to break when Sei didn't quite answer after a few minutes. A few minutes felt like forever, and she knew that she had blurted out something that would jeopardize both of their relationships.
Sei tightened her arms around her, bringing her closer that resulted in a little gasp from the younger blonde. Little did Shimako know, the former Rosa Gigantea was smiling in joy and happiness. She had the intention of taking Shimako to this place, to share the sunset with her before confessing her feelings. She had never thought that the younger girl would beat her into it. She was happy that her soeur would feel the same way as her. But that answer that the younger blonde had given her wasn't enough. She wanted more. Oh Maria-sama, she knew that she was being greedy but she just had to have more. That little answer wasn't able to satisfy her craving.
"And why am I on your mind, Shimako?" She asked, teasingly as she let her nose nuzzled below the younger girl's ear. Shimako's scent was intoxicating and she couldn't get enough of it now that she was having her fill. The girl's warm body indicated that she was blushing at her bold gesture, and she didn't quite mind. After all, she had never acted like this with Shimako before. There was always a first to everything.
"Because..." Shimako responded lowly, not daring to move any muscle in her body. She didn't want this bliss to end. Even though that her heart was hurting from the sudden flare of heat that Sei had managed to get out of her from just a small gesture, she didn't know if being straightforward right now would help her ease the pleasant pain. "I love you, Onee-sama."
Sei chuckled. It was to be expected. She would never be able to hear Shimako calling her by her name without the honorific. Then again, she could always try. The girl was too composed for her own good, and she wanted to break that wall down. She wanted to see the real Shimako. She wanted to fall in love with the real Shimako too, not just the image of what Shimako had been playing. She had already fallen in love with that image, now she wanted to fall in love with the girl behind that mask. She was indeed too greedy.
"If you really do love me, Shimako, say my name," she whispered in a husky tone. She felt the girl shivered under her voice, and she knew that she was on her way to break that wall.
"I..." Shimako breathed, though her breathing came out a little heavier than it should be. Sei was having a huge affect on her, she knew that. But Sei was all too addictive. She was like a drug, and she had never been the one to go out of her way to want it so desperately. "I..love you, Sei..."
Sei grinned. Hearing Shimako said her name brought the kind of happiness that she never knew she had desperately wanted to reach for. The feeling was different when she was Shiori. Although it was differently, it brought more happiness into her ever than Shiori ever could. Maybe when your heart had been broken the first time, it would heal and would fall harder in love the second time. Maybe that was what happening to her at the moment. Her heart could burst at this moment with joy. A much stronger feeling than when she was with Shiori, that was for sure.
"You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say my name, Shimako," she whispered softly, letting a tear roll down her face and landed on the girl's uniform. When she felt Shimako try to turn around, she only tightened her grip a little more to stop the younger girl from doing so. "I want to hold you like this a little bit more. Please, just enjoy the sunset with me."
Shimako nodded her head. They watched the sunset in silent. And during that time, Shimako had brought her arms up to gently wrap them around Sei's. Bliss was what she was in. Bliss was what they were both in. She knew then that none of them had ever let go off of each other's hand. She knew then that both of them had held on even though the distance was drifting them apart. Through Sei's warm embrace, she knew that the older woman was suffering as much as she was. If she could be brave enough, then she would have prevented this from happening. Well, all of that didn't matter anymore. They had already found their happiness, and she was sure that it was just the beginning of their wonderful journey together.
"I won't ever let you go, Sei," Shimako whispered softly, a beautiful shade of red decorated her cheeks. Her cheeks could only reddened more after Sei had so lovingly whispered back to her.
"Good, don't let go because I am all yours, Shimako."