i worked hard on this, and i would appreciate reviews, comments, critique, anything!
linoleum secrets
- i'm not through the night . . .
and she's so confused
why their eyes question what their mouths never say
or their brains connect-
that she can be so tiny, so thin, so skinny
for the amount of food she hoards.
and she thinks they just don't get it.
nobody fucking gets it,
because they're just too blind, too distracted, too selfish
to care that
she eats
and binges
and neurotically eats out every one's fridge
and then steadies herself above the bowl and braces herself
(because she knows it's fucking wrong and
she's just destroying what's left of her former shell)
and pukes until she can feel her bones pressing against her skin
trying to shred through and show the world and
show the world how truly fucking ugly she is.
and she lies down on the cold linoleum,
with bile tangling her hair,
and she thinks she's a little more beautiful,
until she remembers that she's not her
(whom has this sort of flawless beauty
with bouncing brunette curls that just destroys
every nerve, every fibre, every heart string she has
because all she needs to do is look at some one to wrap them around
her slender, little, fucking finger)
and he's looking at her, and wanting her, and lusting for her.
because it's all about her, and her anxiety attacks
because she needs her life to be fucking perfect,
while she's rocking back and forth, crying and
sh-sh-sh-shaking and she thinks she's going to die,
but she never gets what she wants,
and so she just feels empty . . .
she's a master at lies (but fast metabolism
and after school fights can only go so far)
and so she knows no one ever sees through her deception.
but she thinks for once that she craves for some one to notice.
and then she realizes that she's samantha puckett.
and samantha puckett never shows her weaknesses.
so she takes them to the grave.