Belly
I like to think that all the series of events leads up to what's meant to happen, no matter what you choose, you will end up with what's meant to be. But now, that thought is wearing thin, and I'm starting to think otherwise.
Conrad
The summer house came to life every time I went there, as well as Belly. I refuse to remember her in that white dress ready to marry my brother, wrinkles just above her brow from worrying, and the tears I heard just as I closed the door. Belly was young and carefree yearning for our attention. The one who was teased for the simplest of reasons and secretly loved it despite always tattling on us. Summer was when she came back to life in my world. That's how I want to remember her.
But here they are. Both the summer house and Belly before my eyes, living, breathing, and beautiful just as my mom always said. She came back. I can't believe she came back for me. She looks at me with her hopeful gray eyes, and she doesn't have to say a word because I know. I know why she's here. As she's about to say the three words, she changes into her younger version of herself. She looks up at me and starts to cry. The more she cries, the more vulnerable she looks. Everything in me tells me to let it go, but I can't. I won't. I still love her and I don't want her this way.
"What's wrong, Bells?" I ask her nervously.
"You're always so far away," she choked out in sobs.
I woke up with tears on my face. She was so real, so beautiful and right in front of my grasp. How could it have possibly be a dream? I get up and go to the bathroom to wash my face, hoping to gain some sanity. What if that dream meant something? She's thousands and thousands of miles away from me, could it mean that she misses me too?
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and take that as a sign. I love her. I miss her. I won't let her go until I'm sure there's no hope in us. But how can I reach out and tell her I'm here and waiting?