AN: This takes place after the end of Season 19.

Matt in his office

Matt Dillon leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. The church bell tolled once, twice, 10 more times. It was noon. He was sitting perfectly still, but his mind traveled back one year.

He'd ridden into Dodge in good spirits balancing a box in front of him. His trip to Hays had gone smoothly and before heading home he'd gone into the General Shop. To his delight a shipment of Kitty's favorite chocolates had just arrived, and he purchased the largest box. As a special touch he had a bright red ribbon tied around it. He and Kitty had been arguing a lot, unusual for them, and the imported chocolates would make the perfect peace offering.

When he hit Dodge he dropped his horse off at the stable and hurried to his office to dump his gear. He reached for the doorknob and heard the church bell; there was something ominous about the sound. He shrugged off the feeling and went inside. To his surprise Doc was waiting for him. One look at his old friend told him something was wrong.

"Doc, what is it?"

"Matt, Kitty – well…"

"Kitty's hurt? Where is she? How bad?"

"Slow down and listen." Doc rubbed his mustache, "Matt there is no easy way to say it. Kitty left Dodge shortly after you took off for Hays, and she isn't coming back."

"What do you mean? Where is she?"

Doc took a breath to steady his shaky voice. "She said she had to find a different life. Matt, I couldn't talk her out of it, and don't ask where she went. She intentionally kept that from me. She doesn't want – I hate to have to say this Matt - she doesn't want you going after her."

That was exactly one year ago today and for Matt, it had been a year of deep despair and dark loneliness. He reached down and opened the bottom drawer of his desk.

"Kitty, I tried to find you in every place you'd ever mentioned – New Orleans, St. Louis, San Francisco and everywhere in between."

He set a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass on his desk. "It's taken me a full year to start to accept what Doc's been saying. You're not coming back and you don't want to be found, at least not by me."

He filled the glass with the golden brown liquid and lifted it in the air, "Kitty, I wish you happiness. Know that if you ever need me, just say the word."

With a quick motion he tossed back the whiskey and returned the bottle and glass to the drawer. After a few seconds, he pushed himself to his feet. There was nothing to do but get back to work. He was already late for a meeting with the Ranchers Association, a stubborn bunch of men who loved the law when it was on their side.

Doc

Doc Adams looked out his window and saw Matt head down Front Street. The lawman's limp wasn't at its worst today, but the sense of gloom he'd carried all year was more palpable than ever. Doc shook his head, he'd never forget Kitty's final visit to his office.

A light tap called him to the door. He opened it he saw Kitty holding herself stiffly in a yellow travel suit and dark brown hat. She stepped inside and spoke softly but with finality.

"Doc, I've come to say goodbye. I'm leaving Dodge for good."

"Kitty, what – what are saying? You can't – you can't up and leave."

"That's what I'm doing Doc. I've arranged for the sale of the Long Branch and some of my possessions."

"But Kitty you – I – I – listen, I don't know what this is about, but at least wait until Matt gets back."

"I can't. Doc, please - I think you know how I feel about Matt."

"I sure do, and I know how he feels about you. That's why you should wait until he gets back, so you two can talk about whatever is going on."

"Doc, Matt and I used to talk. For years and years we talked about anything and everything, but we don't talk anymore. We argue. Doc, remember 6 months ago when Matt's gun arm was shot up? You and I both thought his marshaling days were likely over."

Doc nodded, "But that arm improved faster and more than I thought possible." His face filled with pride, "Matt worked hard on that, real hard and continues to."

"I'm proud of him too Doc, but the arm still isn't totally what it was." She sighed, "Doc, Matt isn't getting younger, and he's had years of bullet wounds, knife wounds, and pushing himself beyond reason. His leg and back give him pain every day. Some days worse than others, but it isn't going to get better. I can't watch him push through that pain any more. And Doc, even with the gun arm improving, I wake up every morning sick with worry, that it will be the day that proves he's worn that badge one day too long." She shook her head and held back tears. "I ask Matt about the badge. I know I bring it up too much, but I can't help myself. He says he'll know when to take it off. I get angry, he gets defensive and we argue. Doc, we argue every damn day we are together, our relationship is crumbling before my eyes. I have to go. It's the best thing for me and for Matt too. I have to move on with my life."

"Where will you go?"

She bit her lower lip. "I can't tell you Doc. I know how much you love me, but I know you love Matt just as much. You'd tell him where I was, maybe not right away but at some point." She kissed him on the cheek, "I'm glad you'll be here for Matt. He doesn't hold many people close. He'll need you more than ever."

With a quick nod she turned and hurried away.

Now, a year later he watched Matt through the window making his way down Front Street to do his job. Doc pulled the curtain shut. Matt would need company at dinner tonight. He'd make sure to be there for him.

TBC