Chapter 1: Soda Should Be Cold

After a long day of learning nothing at Skool, Dib had finally reached home. No more getting shoved into trashcans, no more being teased or ignored and no more of that god awful lunch… at least until tomorrow.

First thing Dib went for was the fridge, because damn, he was thirsty. There wasn't much to drink in there. The milk hadn't been touched in more than a week, and Dib wasn't going to start touching it now. He scanned the fridge some more, adjusting his glasses every so often so they wouldn't fall off of his nose. Finally, near the back of the last shelf, Dib spotted a delicious looking can of Poop Cola. He grabbed it, popped it open and went upstairs to his room, so he could get some research done.

A while later, Dib heard the front door slam shut. It was Gaz, obviously, because who else could it be? Couldn't be his dad. Besides, no one else slammed the door with as much fury and venom as his sister did. It might need to be repaired again soon, but that wasn't something to focus on at the moment.

There was some quiet for a few minutes, and Dib went back to checking on the progress of what he was downloading. It certainly was taking a long time to download this file of Bigfoot photos, but Dib was sure it would be worth it. The person who had sent it to him, Tentacletherapist, was someone who he chatted with regularly. Nice girl, for the most part, but she was really strange too. Whatever. He couldn't wait for the download to finish.

"Dib! Where's my soda!?" Shit. Dib knew that soda was too damn good to be true. Of course it would be Gaz's. Now he had to face her wrathful… wrathfulness. Jumping out of his seat, Dib started thinking of an excuse. Nearly all of them ended with him being attacked. There was no way he'd be able to lie and avoid a beat down.

"Uh… Well you see, I was thirsty so I uh, you know. I drank it." There was silence. Dib gulped, and quickly followed up with something he hoped would keep her at bay. "But I'm about to uh, uh… go to the store and get some more! Yeah."

Suddenly, the door swung open and Dib fell against his bed, screeching like a monkey. There Gaz stood, one fist curled, the other tightly gripping her Game Slave. It was quite amazing how she managed not to break it.

"Oh yeah? Well you better hurry up or I'll shove my foot up your—"

"Okay, okay! I'm going, I'm going!" Dib scooted off of his bed and toward the window. There was no way in hell he was going to try and shimmy past Gaz and out his door. He casted a nervous glance at the window, and then looked back at his sister. Gaz stared at him expectantly. Yeah, he knew there was no way he'd be able to get away without a scratch. So Dib did what any boy with a dangerous little sister would do—he hurled himself out of his window.

"Ow! Ooh—augh…" Dib pushed himself out of the bushes he had fallen into. Hey, at least he didn't crack his neck on the ground or anything. Surely Gaz would have ended him right then and there if he was on his deathbed, being useless and what not. Dib stood to his feet shakily, but he was doing it. Good thing too, because Gaz had started throwing stuff through his window at him. The black haired boy took off, not wanting to stick around any longer. Who knows what would—Yeah, no. Gaz would certainly kill him, no if's, and's or but's about it.

Even though it pained him, Dib ran for quite some time. Once he was a couple of blocks away, he slowed down to catch his breath and looked over his shoulder. Ok good, Gaz wasn't hot on his tail. Good, good, good.

Out of the corner of his eye, Dib was sure he saw a figure dart into what looked like the alleyway of the abandoned building across the street. Either that or he was hallucinating, which is what most people would tell him he's doing. Ah, but this is Dib you see. He was most certainly not hallucinating. Or maybe he was. Either way, Dib decided to go over and investigate, because as a paranormal investigator, he had to give everything the benefit of the doubt. And who knows, he might even discover something big.

Of course, upon reaching the opening of the alleyway, there was no one there. Dib glanced around. Not much but a couple of smelly, overflowing garbage bags, miscellaneous pieces of trash scattered around and a hobo just chilling there in the corner. You know, just your regular, run of the mill shady alleyway. There was, however, also a big red door that most likely led inside the building. Dib went over and gave it a good once over. It looked normal for the most part. Well… as normal as a rusty, neglected door could look anyway. What was important was that it seemed to be undisturbed. This was unfortunate, because where could the shadow go then?

Oh right. Maybe Dib had seen a literal shadow, which could just phase right through the damn door. No, no. That was nonsensical. Perhaps, whoever he had spotted had hid themselves somewhere in the alley… But there was really no place to hide, especially since it was light outside and everything within the alley was perfectly visible. It also couldn't be the hobo. Hobos can't move as fast as that shadow had been moving. This was a scientific fact, and Dib should know, having a renowned scientist for a father and all.

Hesitantly, Dib reached out and turned the doorknob. Much to his surprise and delight, the door opened up for him. What he saw before him was a medium sized room with damp boxes piled high to the ceiling on both sides of it, and another door directly across from him that was opened just an inch. Ah! So someone had been here! How exciting.

Fueled by the prospect of a big, and hopefully very real, discovery, Dib rushed through the next door to find himself standing in the middle of a poorly lit hallway. He could hear a voice, or perhaps voices, but he wasn't sure which end it was coming from. Haha, maybe it was coming from inside his head? No, of course not. Strangely enough, Dib could almost feel the breath of the whisperer's on his neck. Or could it be that that was just a bad draft?

Dib stood there for a few more seconds before turning to his left and heading down towards the door at the end. He pulled on it with all the strength he could muster, but it wouldn't budge. Now would have been a good time to have his Object Annihilator on hand, but oh well. He'd just have to come back later. Turning on his heel, Dib went down the other way, a bit of hopefulness stirring in his chest. This time, he opened up the door with ease.

He could barely see inside the room, since the light was off and the hallway light was too weak to really highlight anything in the room. Dib took a cautious step inside, and searched through his pockets. He knew there just had to be a flashlight in there somewhere. Very rarely did he leave home without one.

Suddenly, Dib yelped, before clutching his stomach and doubling over in pain. It felt like someone had just nailed them in the gut. The shadow guy, perhaps? There was another blow, then a kick to the head. Okay, "perhaps" wasn't the best word to use. More like, definitely.

Dib felt himself being lifted up by his hair, and suddenly he wished he was as heavy as Torque Smacky, who probably wouldn't even feel the assailant's attacks. Oh god, so much pain. He was dropped none too gently into a familiar feeling chair. A chair that felt like cold, hard doom, much like the ones in Skool… Yes, this was definitely a Skool chair.

"H-hey! What's going on here? Why—"Dib gasped, feeling the air violently escaping his lungs, clawing its way through his throat and forcefully exiting his mouth. The attacker had tied him up tightly—he could feel the ropes digging into his skin, making it burn.

The light blinked on, and Dib squinted, looking away. In front of him stood a tall, lanky man dressed in all black. Black combat boots, black skinny jeans, black turtleneck… Head to toe. Even his hair was black, and his eye colour seemed to be black too.

"Dib," the young man said sharply, narrowing his eyes at the shorter boy. Dib squirmed in his seat, but stopped almost immediately. His arms were throbbing from the pain.

"Uh… Yeah? How do you know my name…?" Dib didn't recall seeing this person in his class, or even in Skool. In fact, the person seemed a little bit too old to be in his class. Then again, there was Old Kid… But Dib would have noticed a tall, pale guy who looked like he was 20-something in his class. Especially one who seemed so fond of the colour black.

"Hm. Figures you wouldn't know who I am. No one knows. But it really fucking hurts to know I'm not missed." The guy paced back and forth, eyes trained on the ground. Dib watched, an eyebrow raised.

"Uh… Maybe I would miss you if I knew who you were?" Of course you wouldn't. Honestly, the only person you'd ever miss would be Zim… and technically, he's not even a person. Naturally, you'd only miss the little green bastard because he was real and gave your life a real meaning. All these years and the chases between you guys were still pretty exciting, at least on your end. And one day, in the end, it would all pay off… Earth would be safe, and you'd be hailed as a hero. Maybe you'd even get your own TV show! That would be neat. And maybe—

SLAP! The sound echoed throughout the nearly empty room. Dib was snapped out of his fantasy, staring into the enraged eyes of the guy who looked like he might chuck a knife into his neck at any moment. Dib felt a strong need to rub his throat, and get the hell out of there.

"You weren't listening, were you asshole? I asked you a question! Do you remember a girl who went missing about a year ago?" The guy barked, moving closer. Dib leaned back in his seat as best as he could.

"Sorry, I just uh… zoned out for a moment but to answer your question… No?" Dib flinched, expecting to be hit again. Instead, the older guy straightened up and started walking away from him chuckling, though Dib could hear it was full of malice and anger.

"Oh, that's just fucking swell! Not even the class outcast remembers! Isn't that something, huh?" The guy turned around, stringy black hair flying. "Does the name Nika ring a bell? Nika Hurzt?"

Dib blinked slowly, staring at the ground. Nika… Hurzt… There was a pang of familiarity there. He could feel it in the deep recesses of his brain. "Yeah, yeah, it does…" Dib found himself nodding. "What was she, your sister or something? She was in my class?"

Dib had barely known that girl. He remembered her having short black hair resembling that of a flapper, with dark eyes. She was tall, and she always looked scared. Other than that, her features were hazy. Nothing else about her stood out to him, but she wasn't a stand out girl, so it made sense. The only thing that didn't make sense, was the fact that this guy thought he was supposed to know him or something. Maybe, he was the twin brother no one noticed to the point where he had to use his sister's name to get some recognition? That was pretty sad, and Dib definitely knew what sad was like.

"Yes, but also no. She wasn't my sister," the guy's voice was quiet. "She was me."

Hello, hi. Author here. And so, thus begins my story. I hope you find it the least bit worth your time to read. I spent only an hour writing this, so critiques and comments are very much welcomed. Even flames are welcome, if only for a good laugh.