Just to inform you, this takes place after Mocking Jay during the epilogue. This is about Katniss and Peeta struggling together. Katniss rebuilding herself, and realizing she does need help to continue on. I made her broken at the beginning but as the story does continue, I will promise you, it gets better. I based this story on Celine Dion's "Coming Back To Now", so expect the next chapter to begin the story of the song. I don't own The Hunger Games, although i do in my dreams. Don't forget to review, dont be afraid to be crucial. Enjoy.
Chapter One:
Empty Threats and Hollow Lies
Sweat drips down my face, my breathing is heavy. I feel a soft motion of fingers stroking my hair. My eyes, they won't open. I can't force them open. I can't move, I can't talk. A small groan escapes my lips, my body stiffens.
"Relax Katniss, please, just sleep." I hear Peeta whisper. I try my best to form a fist with my hands, but its easily covered by his, opening them and entwining his fingers with mine.
I rack my brain to recall the last events, but I can't remember anything. I use all my power to speak but it comes out broken, "Peeta, . . .wha-" . He understands my question and simply kisses my cheek.
"You slipped on ice in the woods, banged your head against a rock. It took hours to find you. Almost half the day, you caught a fever." I imagine my self sleeping under a blanket of snow, and the sun setting. "You've done a lot of damage to yourself. God, Katniss do you know how worried you've made me? You can't just wander off alone in a storm and not tell anyone!"
He's angry, you could hear it in his tone. I don't dare to ever make him feel sad or angry, Peeta doesn't deserve to have those emotions. I moan a "I'm sorry." before I let my body slowly go numb, drifting of to sleep.
I sit up but I've moved too soon. Feeling completely light headed I laid back down. I try to recall the last time I got out of bed. My hand automatically goes to my forehead and my eyes squint, 'Why cant I remember anything?'
Noises are coming out from the door. I'm in our bedroom, I'm pretty sure about that. Rubbing my temples, I inhale slowly. What pain did I endure to my body?
Looking down I realize I'm in a heavy sweater that Peeta uses daily on his way to the bakery in the winter. My legs are well tucked by two quilts. Yet, I still can't stop my shivering and chattering teeth.
I try my best to get out of bed. I make it passed the door till my legs became sore and weak. "Peeta?" I yell as loud as I could say, holding on to the doorframe.
His footsteps hurry towards the place of my call. He stops and stares at me whole-heartedly. "You should go back to bed, your fever might come back ." He reaches for my hand but I pull away before he has the chance.
"No, I feel as if I've slept for days." I spit angrily, but there's no reason for my anger. Maybe crankiness. His blue eyes dart down strait to floor, "You have. But its what you need."
"Why?" Its just a fever, I wouldn't need days sleep even if it was sever. He finally looks back up, his piercing blue eyes turn cold, his tone goes cold "You just lost a baby Katniss".
Impossible. This is absolutely impossible. Why would mother nature have the audacity to stab me in the back and get away with this.
We're sitting close but it seems as if we're so far away. We can't even look at each other. His eyes are on the wall, mines are scanning the floor. At least we're on this couch, its the only thing keeping us stable.
"You knew? Real or not real?" His question breaks the silence. He's fidgeting with his fingers, his arms against his knee, his body hunched over.
I shut my eyes and lay back against the couch. "Not real Peeta, if I had known I was pregnant, I would've told you right away." I whisper back. There's no necessary reason for the whispering but I cant help myself to speak any louder. Then suddenly his outburst surprises me.
"Would you Katniss? Honestly, would you have told me if you were?" His tone is shaky and strong. His body turns my direction, his eyes burning me.
My eyes quickly open, I can feel this firey conversation growing into a wildfire. "What are you trying to imply Peeta?", I'm not ready for this argument.
His jaw tightens and his left hand forms a fist. "You know damn well what I'm asking Katniss. I know you didn't want to have kids but I didn't expect you to be as horrendous as the capitol used to be." He shot back, instantly standing.
My throat becomes dry. My mind soaking in what he had meant. He thought I killed the baby. He thought I purposely killed OUR baby.
My forehead creates a crease as my eyes burrow towards each other. He's done it, he's pushed me to my edge. "How dare you Peeta! How dare you compare me to them, let alone accuse me of murdering a child." I yell furiously as my knee's develop its own strength and I'm standing on my own.
"I have a heart too. How could you think that low of me?" My head shakes as I back away from him. My hands searching the side table for something to throw.
His face creates an expression I had never seen before. His eyes are glazed with water but doesn't fall. His face is filled with hurt, anger, and something I can't describe. His body stiffens as his eyes land on my hands.
"Don't bother Katniss." He turns and walks out the living room and out the back door. It's too cold outside for him to be in just pants and a shirt.
I follow him, my breathing becoming shallow. My eyes just keep blinking rapidly. As I reach the door, I spot his fist pounding the bark of the dead tree. The fair skin of his fist slowly becoming pink mixed with red liquid. Blood.
"Peeta! Stop!" it's not much of a yell, my voice isn't strong enough. But the adrenaline got me to run by his side in an instant. My hand reaching up to his broad left shoulder, pulling it back.
"Let go Katniss!" he pulls away and faces me. "Just go back inside. Now!" he yells close to my face that I breathe in the fog his mouth created, his fingers pointing towards the house.
"I didn't do-" I start but his arms automatically cut me off, pushing me, "GO! I don't need any explanation, especially from you." I find my hand slapping his face. I didn't mean to, I didn't plan on it, but it happened.
His lips form a smirk, he turns back to the tree, but with all my force I pull him back facing me. "How could you have the audacity to treat me like this?", this side, I've never seen his sweet innocence turn dark and cold. Its disappointing and hurtful.
His hands grab both my wrist and he moves his face close to mine, the tip of our noses slightly touching. " I hate you Katniss. Don't you understand? I. Hate. You." He hisses.
The beating of my heart stops, all emotions in my body are frozen. My stomach ties in knots and my jaw clenched. It sinks in, the wall I took so long to build just crumbled in seconds.
My head shakes, he can't mean it. He just can't. I pull my arms away to my side, I don't know what to say. I just assumed this was the hi-jacking part of him coming back, but its not. His blue eyes are pure, not black. I suck in my breath, I can't let him see my defeat. "Fine." As shaky as it comes out, I slowly walk backwards, turn, and go into our house.
I feel the heated water slowly developing, not now. I blink it all back, snatching most of my clothing fast as possible, shoving it in a bag. He hates me? Fine. He won't have to deal with me anymore. I look out the window, Peeta's making his way inside the house.
I quickly hurried my pace, as I open the front the door I hear him close the back door, "Katniss wait!". Before he gets a chance to continue, I slam it running to the only place that I know so well, the woods.
Sweat builds on my forehead but I'm so cold. Goosebumps crawl up my arm and the hairs on the back of my neck stand. I feel my cheeks burn red from the bitter cold but my chest is soaked wet of sweat. It began to snow again, great.
Finally I came across the burned cabin. The cabin where Gale had kissed me, where I had left two important followers before the official rebellion began. It was black, burned, a bit stable, but it will do.
I stare at the fire, adoring the warmth it gives, my eyes swimming with it's odd colors. The blue dancing with a dark orange. Its movements comfort me in a way. My clothes were in a pile in the corner with my bag. I lean my body closer to the fire, my bare feet and hands stretch for it's reach.
Why was I so stupid? So careless, to get myself in harms way. I didn't mean to... I didn't know I was... It wasn't my intentions to hurt Peeta.
I lay back, the coldness from the ground instantly shooting up my spine. It hurts, the cold burns but it helps distract the other pain, the pain I didn't know I had. The pain that he had caused.
He hate's me? Fine. I can survive without him, I've done it before. I've depended on my self many times. I'll be perfectly fine without him, without anyone. I look up at the ashed ceiling, my eyes darting to the corner watching water drip down. Its too cold for any animals to be out, how can I forget to snatch something to eat?
Think Katniss, winter, there's white rabbits. If I'm lucky, I could find some crowberries. Putting my dry socks and shoes, and extra clothing on. I'm ready to hunt.
Every step I take, the fresh snow makes a crunching sound. The sky is slowly becoming dark. I have to be fast, my only weapons are my hands. I stay still, my eye's only making movements. After a few minutes I see something move in the corner of my eye. A fat body with a grey long tail. Squirrel.
They shouldn't be out, they should be hibernating. I stop questioning it and begin to follow. Its small arms and legs underestimated me, it runs almost too fast for me to catch up. It's body crawls up a very tall and large tree, into a hole. I have a plan, a pretty stupid one, but I don't like it.
I get close to the tree, my hands are already frozen. Starring at the branches, I've already created a pattern of where to step. Blowing hot air against my hands, I carefully begin to climb. I sit firmly on the branch closest to the hole. I spot the small grey monster.
I slowly breathe, my hands slowly shaking as it nears the hole. I bit the corner of my lip, not sure of what can happen once I place my plan into action. Five, four, three, two, one! I jerk my hand inside the hole, once my fingers grip its body, a sharp pain electrocuted up my arm all over my body. At this point, the only noise I hear is my own scream.
Tell me your honest opinion, what do you expect to happen next? What would you like to happen. R & R.