Chris: Welcome to TOTAL DRAMA: FAME GAMES! Today we're using this large train, courtesy of our conductor Chef-
Chef: You do know I don't have a license to be doing this kinda stuff?
Chris: And we're gonna be travelling across this great North American continent! We'll stop at some of the hottest cities on the map and exploit our celebrities in grueling challenges. But first we have to pick all of our celebrities up. Here's the fun part. They don't know they got on yet and they will be joining our show completely caught off guard!
Elsa: Chris! Aren't you forgetting something? We're on the train too.
Chris: Oh yea… these washed up hasbeens have already made themselves comfortable and are enjoying lunch. Let's give a slightly warmer welcome to our veteran competitors from last season's, Total Drama: Class is in Session! Let's introduce each loser properly. He was the first to get the boot last season due to a Saved by the Bell Award twist! The fans saw a lot of potential in his daredevil skills and decided to bring him back on board. He's a professional wrestler now and his voicebox from last season is no more. He's "The New Underdog," AJ!
AJ: I came to play hard and grind harder!
Chris: Then we have the hard working girl who used to work in a prison and finished fourteenth. She cut off her hair and ate plain salt to win for her team but none of that was enough when she got out-schemed and booted waaaay too early. But the fans saw all of the all-star potential in "The Challenge Beast," JENNA!
Jenna: Focus, strength, discipline. Words I'm living by this season.
Chris: This feisty vocalist was the leader of the hit band THE STORMTROOPERS before she ever even auditioned for our show. Her rockstar name is Kayla Storm. She has a fiery personality and has an even more fiery rivalry with longtime nemesis Steven who she now judges on the Voice with. Let's welcome "The Huge Threat's Biggest Threat," ELSA!
Elsa: Dillon I hope you're watching because I'm bringing home the gold for you!
Rayna: Who is Dillon?
Chris: Now we welcome the gun toting, book loving, sarcasm spewing, little cheater that got disqualified after her rival revealed that she joined a secret alliance with Chef. She's deathly afraid of deer for whatever reason and keeps her head in a book simply because she doesn't like people. She's "The Potential Villain," Marie!
Marie: [Peeking up from book] Whatever…
Chris: This guy skipped several grades and is attending Harvard on an academic scholarship. He's the son of a famous basketball player that disowned him for being gay and he found love on our show. He created the algebraic formula for a basketball shot, he wants to be an astronaut, and most of all he loves Oliver for reasons none of us can explain since Oliver is the reason he only got 8th place last season, please welcome "The Loverboy," DRE!
Dre: Wassup y'all! I'm back!
Chris: This Youtube sensation and boy band-esque pretty boy loved by middle school girls and gays everywhere could have won last season had it not been for his intense rivalry with Elsa that got him booted in the final four. He can't write a good song, or a creative one, but I guess they sell a lot. He's a sub par leader, with sub par skills, and above par good looks, please welcome, "The Huge Threat," STEVEN!
Steven: Hello to all my adoring fans.
Chris: This undisputed fan favorite fell in love with a gigantic poetic lug and tried her best to make friends with everyone. She's a black belt in taekwondo and loves riding mechanical bulls. She's naïve, energetic, understanding, funny, and loves her some Eli, please welcome last season's third place finisher and "The Most Likable," RAYNA!
Rayna: Hey everyone!
Chris: Finally we have last season's winner. He flew under the radar and made no enemies. He made a big move when he decided to eliminate Rayna and won a total of three challenges! That's not even including the final two challenge or any of the team challenges. He's shy, he realized he was gay on the show and is really good at painting, please welcome "The Floater," OLIVER!
Oliver: Hi…
Chris: And these are your veterans. But they will be joined incrementally by other celebs as the train takes off. These celebs will be the other team and face off against our veterans on TOTAL DRAMA: FAME GAMES!
Oliver: So Chris, who we picking up first?
Chris: Oh you'll see… They don't know Chef is coming to get them so this should be good. And it looks like Chef is dragging in our first newbie now.
Derek: [Being dragged into railroad cart by Chef] You're gonna get stains all over me! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
Chef: Fucking spaz… [Goes back to conductor's room]
Chris: Everyone please welcome Derek, "The Spritz Prince!"
Rayna: Oh I remember you! From those sanitizing agent commercials! You were the little kid that played the King's son and was so afraid of germs that you had all your royal subjects spray down like everything with Spritz! DO THE JINGLE! DO THE JINGLE!
Derek: Ummm, sure okay… Wherever the Prince sits, first spray it Spritz!
Rayna: That's so awesome!
Marie: [Peeking up from book] You're a fucking hasbeen.
Derek: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear… why would you say that?
Steven: Don't mind her, she's just a little crabby at all times. Hi I'm, Steven. [Extends hand for Derek to shake]
Derek: Hold on just a moment. [Pulls out Spritz and sprays Steve's hand before shaking it]
Steven: Okay….
Chris: Guys look out the window, it looks like Chef is picking up our next victim!
Derek: VICTIM! Don't you mean our next contestant?
AJ: No, he means victim.
Des: [Being dragged in by Chef] HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD THE FUCK UP! What makes you think that you could just come up in my crib and snatch me out my muthafucking silk linens! I will go apeshit all over yo ass bro, DON'T TEST ME!
Chef: Whatever… [Walks off]
Des: Yea dude, you better run, son!
Chris: And this is Des, "The Renegade Rapper!"
AJ: Des! I'M A HUGE FAN! YOUR LAST ALBUM WAS SO AWESOME!
Des: That's mad dope. I appreciate the love little bro. Aye, what y'all got in here to eat? Ya girl is starving!
Jenna: We got crap, crap, and more crap.
Des: Well pass me some of that crap and let's get this stomach full. We ain't got no music in here or nothing. I'm bored as fuck.
Elsa: Well I am a singer.
Des: I ain't never heard of ya!
Steven: HA! Well I'm sure you've heard of me.
Des: I ain't never heard of yo punkass either. Who is these clowns?
Oliver: Didn't you watch the last season?
Des: Why would I do that? My publicist made me sign up for this shit. He said it's free advertising for my new album coming up.
Marie: [Peeking up rom book] Typical…
Des: Little bitch, you got a problem?
Chris: Here comes Chef, dragging in our next participants.
Elsa: Wait did you say…participants? As in plural?
Chef: [Holding two people by their neck then dropping them in the train cart] Here's the twins.
Ty: He's quite the rough little gentleman.
Tay: Real rough.
Des: Wow, one of y'all really got the short end of the stick. One's in a full suit while the other one doesn't have a shirt or shoes on.
Ty: Oh, haha. This is how I dress all the time. And that's how Tay dresses all the time. He likes to keep a natural look.
Tay: Yea, natural!
Chris: Everyone this is Ty, "The Elegant Twin," and Tay, "The Wild Twin."
Rayna: Ooooh you guys are so adorable.
Dre: You can say that again…
Oliver: What?
Dre: Nothing… I feel like I know y'all from somewhere.
Derek: Me too but I can't quite figure what it is. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
Dre: Wait… you guys were from that cool show! ABOUT THE TWINS THAT KEPT GETTING IN TROUBLE!
Oliver: Ummm Dre… that was Zack and Cody and those characters were white. Ty and Tay are black.
Ty: Blasian actually. Black and Asian.
Tay: Yea!
Dre: No, there was another show. It was a cheap rip off but I loved it. I was so mad when it got cancelled. After only four episodes too…
Rayna: Aww, I'm sorry to hear that.
Ty: Yes, it is true. We are failed child actors. I'm taking up theater in college but I don't think it's going well. I'll have to dropout soon because I can't afford it all if I don't win. Such a shame.
Marie: [Peeking up from book] Damn that sucks. I'll still vote you off first chance I get. But that really does suck.
AJ: What about Tay? Does he have to dropout too?
Ty: Oh no. Tay is doing fine. He has a full scholarship in this engineering program. He just thought the show would be fun.
Tay: Fun!
Ty: My brother's so good he can make any piece of technology out of virtually nothing. Isn't that right?
Tay: Left.
Chris: Chef is stopping the train for our next contestant.
Jenna: Please no more model types… If I have to deal with someone else like Trinity-
Des: Who is Trinity?
Steven: You really need to watch last season.
Shirley: [Being guided in politely by Chef] Why thank ya honey!
Chef: Anything for you Shirley Anne Titter. I don't want to hassle you but do you think I could have an autograph?
Shirley: [Signing an autograph] It wouldn't be a hassle at all, sugar.
Chris: Everyone meet Shirley, "The Country Bumpkin."
Chef: And one of the best country singers any of you half-brains will ever see!
Shirley: Pleasure's all mine.
Steven: Shirley? You auditioned for the show.
Elsa: Seriously?
Shirley: Well yalls talked about it so much I just couldn't help myself.
Jenna: You both know her?
Elsa: All three of us are judges for The Voice Canada.
Shirley: And don't get me started on all that bickering these two fools be doing. All season long I put up with that nonsense. Just two stubborn people that don't know what to do with theyselves.
Jenna: You can say that again.
Ty: Did the train just stop again. That was quick. How fast do you think this train is going?
Tay: 338 meters per second.
Oliver: How do you even know that?
Tay: Know what?
Oliver: Nevermind.
Chef: [Getting tossed into the train cart] AAAAAAH!
AJ: Who roughed you up?
Chef: Two words… El Cobra.
Jenna: We're competing with EL COBRA! YES!
Elsa: I've never seen you this excited.
Jenna: El Cobra is only the youngest and greatest MMA fighter in the league. He is sexy, strong, fierce, talented, sexy again-
Oliver: And standing right there.
Jenna: Huh?
Ryker: Hey chica.
Jenna: [Shaking nervously] Hey El Co-
Ryker: No, no, no, me chica. Call me, Ryker. We leave El Cobra in the ring.
Chris: This is indeed Ryker, "The Fists of Furry."
Jenna: Well Mr. Ryker, don't you get any ideas. You may be… cute. But you're definitely not lose a million dollars cute. [Grabbing Ryker by his collar] You got that!
Ryker: Ay dios mio! Comprendes chica. Comprendes!
Chef: [Walking into train cart] Ummm Chris, I think we have a problem with the engine. The train stopped.
Chris: What? Trains don't just stop.
Chef: Well they do when you're trying to go the speed of sound!
Tay: Me fix…. [Walks into conductor's room where many obnoxious noises can be heard]
Des: Do y'all really think he can fix this shit?
Ty: Just you wait…
Derek: [Trains starts speeding off and everyone falls back] I think I'm gonna be sick.
Shirley: Yee doggie! He turned this into quite a ride!
Tay: [Walking back into cart] Done.
Chris: [Looking out window] CHEF! This is our stop. Go stop the train!
Chef: I'm on it… I'm on it… [Exiting]
Ryker: Is there anything to eat on this train?
Des: Just don't even ask.
Ryker: It can't be that bad.
Marie: [Peeking up from book] I say give him some to try.
Rayna: [Passing Ryker a plate] If you hold your nose while you eat it doesn't seem that bad.
Ryker: Trust me chica, I've been-
Rayna: [Stuffing food down Ryker's face] Daddy always told me that it's better to just peel the bandage off.
Ryker: [Trying to prevent himself from barfing] Ay dios mio! That was all kinds of nasty!
Des: Told you.
Chef: [Dragging in a young teenage girl] Now we've only got one more left. Buckle up.
Laurie: Well that was rude.
Marie: [Peeking up from book] What's up with all the D-List celebrities that no one can identify, Chris?
Laurie: If you must know, I'm a songwriter for many musicians in the industry.
Steven: I also write my own music.
Laurie: I know. Your manager constantly begs me to write music for you. But I don't work for cheap.
Elsa: HAHAHAHAHA!
Laurie: You too.
Elsa: Grrr!
Chris: Laurie here is "The Soulful Poet."
Steven: Well recite something for us… beautiful young wise woman.
Laurie: Roses are ready, violets are blue… just give it up Steven, I'm not that into you.
AJ: How to crush a man's ego in less than ten seconds…
Dre: Dang, ma. That's cold.
Des: Oooh shit y'all. The train just stopped. We bout to pickup the last one.
Chris: You are correct Des. The next contestant that enters the door into this train cart will round out the number of competitors for this season to sixteen. And that contestant is…
Chef: [Dropping girl in cart] Here's the last of the filth.
Rayna: [Jaw drops] Oh my God!
Derek; Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…
Marie: [Putting book down] You have my undivided attention.
Ryker: Ay dios mio!
Dre: Dang, ma…
Tay: Poptarts.
Berry: What is everyone staring at?
Chris: This is Berry, "The Tabloid Phenomenon."
Berry: Is anyone gonna greet me or is everyone going to just keep staring.
Des: I'mma keep staring.
Berry: Fine, let's lay it all out on the table then. Yes I did sleep with the Prime Minister. Yes I did abort his child. Yes, I model men's clothes. No, I am not a lesbian. Any more stupid questions that I have to answer before you ask them?
Des: How flexible are you on the whole not being a lesbian thing?
Berry: Look, I came here to compete just like the rest of you. You can judge me all you want. That's your choice. But I'd appreciate it if you all at least gave me a chance instead of voting me off the first day.
AJ: Happens to the best of us.
Chris: And with that we have our sixteen competitors. This train is going to take us across North America where each contestant will be pitted against each other in challenges that test their celebrity. The teams will be the Veterans versus our Celebs. The veterans will stay on the East Train Cart and the celebs will sleep in the West Train Cart. Each day all of the contestants will meet here for breakfast where we will discuss the challenge, I'll send you off to explore various cities, and… this is where you will be booted off. Elimination ceremonies will be held while the train is in motion so I hope you're ready to fly because each seat in this room comes with an eject button. If you are voted off, you will be ejected into the night sky where you will land… hopefully somewhere safe. But if I give to you one of these coveted Chris McLean autographs then you are safe from Rejection Ejection.
Marie: [Peeking up from book] Is that it? Can we go to our rooms now?
Chris: Oh and one more thing. You all will have to sing every episode from now on so I can milk your celebrity status for all it's worth.
Marie: WHAT?!
Chris: In fact… I think I want you to sing now. Tune in next time to see the kind of song our contestants whip up on TOTAL DRAMA: FAME GAMES!
-Thank you all for reading. This is sure to be a great season just like the last one. Tell me what you guys think of the new characters so far. I love to hear your thoughts, predictions, and opinions. And congrats to all the applicants that got in and I'm sorry to all the applicants that did not. There were a lot of great characters so I had to try my best to choose the ones that would stand out the most when compared to all the characters from last season. See you guys again soon.-
The Veterans
AJ "The New Underdog" by Zorbo678
Jenna "The Challenge Beast" by Mostawesomefanoftvshows
Elsa "The Huge Threat's Biggest Threat" by Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart
Marie "The Potential Villain" by Adro02
Dre "The Loverboy" by Gayy4Animee
Steven "The Huge Threat" by Elizabeth Fire Ice Heart
Rayna "The Most Likable" by TheDaffodilQueen
Oliver "The Floater" by Pokerox27
The Celebs
Derek "The Spritz Prince" by Totsalu
Des "The Renegade Rapper" by GenuineHarajukuDoll
Ty "The Elegant Twin" by LiquidJollyRancherz
Tay "The Wild Twin" by LiquidJollyRancherz
Shirley "The Country Bumpkin" by Commander Liv
Ryker "The Fists of Furry" by Falcon56
Laurie "The Soulful Poet" by J.530
Berry "The Tabloid Phenomenon" by GwendolynD