Yes, I've been M.I.A. I know... Sorry :(
I know if you put me on author alert, you got an email with my penname and were probably excited to see that it could be something for A Gleeful Reality. Unfortunately, I have to disappoint but I hope after reading this I'll have somewhat made up for the lack of updates for that story. This idea came into my head after I listened to one of my favorite songs called 'Nothing' by The Script. I was surprised I didn't write a one-shot about this sooner. It's a great song by the way so if for some insane reason you haven't heard it, you should listen to it before reading this fic.
High T rating for swears mostly.
Enjoy :)
"What would I do without you?" Her silky voice asked as she softly combed back his hair with her fingertips while they laid in the grass at their spot.
"I think you'd still be a smart, funny, sexy woman," He wiggled his brows. "And the only thing different would be that you didn't have me. You've always been absolutely perfect, Quinn… I think the real question is, what would I be?"
She chuckled through a charming smile, which quickly shifted to a playful smirk.
"A twenty-three year old guy that woke up at noon, played marathon video games with his little cousin all day and let his mom do his laundry while living at her house still?" She replied teasingly, her smirk as wide as ever.
Finn placed his hands roughly over his heart as he let out a dramatic huff.
"Ooh, that was bad, Quinn," He feigned hurt as he clutched at his chest but ultimately chuckled. "But that's probably true."
They laughed and when they calmed down, Quinn looked sweetly at Finn.
"No, I think you're pretty perfect too."
'Am I better off dead?
Am I better off a quitter?
They say I'm better off now
Then I ever was with her
As they take me to my local down the street
I'm smiling but I'm dying trying not to drag my feet'
"Finn, come on, man, you gotta get up."
The tall, brunette reluctantly opened his eyes from his dream and stared up at the faces of his two best friends, Sam and Puck.
Finn sighed heavily. "What do you want? And how'd you get into my room?"
"Your mom let us in." Sam responded with a nonchalant shrug.
Finn rolled his eyes and made a mental note to tell him mom to ignore the door when it was Puck or Sam knocking. He didn't want to be bothered since… what happened.
"That shouldn't matter," Puck interjected. "What does is that you've been holed up in your room for the past four days. Bro, you need to get out of here and try some different scenery other than your..." He looked around cringing. "...cowboy wallpaper."
"No, I don't," The miffed brunette scoffed from his bed. "My mom is happy that I'm back home and so am I."
The two men standing above him shared sympathetic looks. Yeah, they felt really bad that their best friend was keeping himself in his childhood bedroom after his fallout with his now ex because hey, they seemed like the couple that was really going to make it, but now he looked like hell, his room smelled of a mixture between moldy egg salad sandwich and dirty socks, and wait a minute, did his bed even have sheets on it right now? It sucked that she had him move out of their shared apartment, which was hers first, but he needed to move on.
"No you're not," The mohawked man disagreed. "You loved being able to support yourself instead of your mom doing it and you were happy at the apartment."
"Dude, are those Cheetos all in your bed?" Sam questioned, a confused and disgusted look prominent on his face.
Finn glanced down to the orange snacks on his mattress. Oh, would you look at that? They were. The really sad part was he didn't know how long those had been joining him in bed.
He just shrugged and threw his face into his pillow.
Okay, so maybe he had been a little careless and let himself go in the last week. He was honestly starting not to care. He didn't care for anything anymore since he lost the love of his life. Sometimes he'd think he was just better off dead without her.
"And when was the last time you shaved?" Puck added, pointing to the very dark five o'clock shadow that the pillow couldn't hide.
Finn's shoulders flew up again and he flopped back over to address them. "She always liked it when I had a little scruff."
Oh god, it was worse than they thought! They really needed to get him out of there.
"We're going to Shapiro's so you need to get up."
"No." Finn simply answered.
"Uh, yes we are." Puck countered sternly, ready to just pull Finn out of his bed by his ankles.
Finn sighed from below. "I don't think drinking is the best idea for me."
"Nonsense," Puck waved him off with his hand. "Drinking with your bros will help a ton. So come on, get your ass out of bed, get ready and let's go!"
Finn shut his eyes and shook his head in the pillow. He didn't want to drink because he knew it'd bring out his emotions that he was attempting to hide away from the world right now, but he didn't think he'd be able to get out of this so he begrudgingly left his bed to get ready.
"Yeah, that's right, Hudson!" Sam cheered as the taller man pulled himself up and walked towards the bathroom.
"Trust us," Puck called to his retreating figure. "Some good liquor will help fade her memory away."
'They say a few drinks will help me to forget her
But after one too many I know that I'll never
Only they can't see where this is gonna end
They all think I'm crazy but to me it's perfect sense'
"Wooh!" Puck hollered after he downed his shot. "Bartender! Another round of Jack, por favor!"
Sam laughed at Puck who was already beginning to get drunk. They had only been out for about twenty-ish minutes and he was kind of a lightweight contrary to what the badass thought. He also thought it was hilarious that Puck would start to speak some Spanish when he got up there.
The blonde continued to laugh until he turned his attention to his other friend.
"Finn, you still have two shots to take," He said, pointing to the two small glasses filled with a dark amber liquid. "What's up? Get on those. You can't have just me and Puck drink."
Finn shifted in his stool to sit up more to give himself the appearance he wasn't that sad but in all reality, he was really hurting. He knew if he took shots at the pace of his best friends he would get really drunk and fall apart. He wouldn't be in the right state of mind for good decision-making and he knew he'd try and talk to her. For some reason, the two guys just didn't see that.
But to appease them, he put on a happy face and forced the two shots down. They burned the back of his throat as they made their way south. He knew it'd be a long night.
"More!" Puck cheered. "We need más alcohol, Bartender. We're trying to get our boy to forget his lady troubles."
The grey haired, aged man behind the bar nodded and chuckled along with Puck but it was mostly for show. He had seen many a men and their friends come in for the same reason and judging by the look on the guy they were trying to cheer up, he figured tonight would end like the many others.
'They just don't get it,' Finn thought solemnly to himself. 'I know how this will end. It's why I didn't want to come.'
Finn shook his head to ignore his musings and threw back another shot and cringed on its way down.
'And my mates are all there trying to calm me down
Cause I'm shouting your name all over town
I'm swearing if I go there now
I can change her mind turn it all around'
Somewhere between round six and nine got a bit fuzzy for the guys and to Puck and Sam's obliviousness, Finn had disappeared.
"Wait a second, wasn't Finn sitting right there?" Puck asked, very inebriated.
Sam narrowed his eyes and thought. "I um, I think so…"
"You talking about your friend from earlier?" The bartender who relieved the last one asked. He had only started his shift about a half an hour ago.
"Yeah!" Sam exclaimed, a little out of it himself. "You saw him? Tall, goofy kind of guy?"
"Sure, he walked out about fifteen minutes or so ago."
The two friends shared worried looks.
"Shit."
Ten minutes later they found themselves scouring the streets for Finn with no luck.
"Fucking fuck!" Puck cursed, annoyed that they lost Finn and worried for his state of mind never mind his emotional state.
"We'll find him, dude," Sam tried to calm the mohawked man down. "He couldn't have gotten that far. We walked here so it's not like he had a car to get himself somewhere faster or worse, killed. He has to be-"
Just as Sam was about to finish his sentence, the pair heard a voice that unmistakably belonged to their best friend. They listened close.
"Quinn!" They heard him scream and they took off running in that direction, their sobriety building with each stride.
About a couple minutes later, they found him pacing around in the small park nearby.
"Finn, there you are! We've been out here searching for you for like, the last fifteen minutes!" Sam informed a drunk Finn in a scolding manner.
"We didn't even see you leave. Why didn't you say something?" Puck asked.
Ignoring the question, Finn kept pacing and shouted her name again.
"Quinn! Quinn, why?"
"Finn, stop!" Puck demanded and grabbed onto the screaming man's shoulder. "Get a hold of yourself!"
"Puck… Puck, bro," Finn began. "I- I could go to her right now. I could go and she- she'll see how torn up I am and take me back. I can fix this!"
Puck sighed and he'll admit, even if it may be girly, his heart ached for his best friend. What was he supposed to tell him? He had to be honest and realistic. Should he say no you can't? It's over? Don't make a fool of yourself?
"Shit, we should have known this would happen." Sam chimed quietly from behind and Puck had to agree.
They should've known but they figured drinking could help ease the pain away. Not harm him more.
"I could do it, man," Finn started to sob. "I c-could get her back and we could be h-happy again."
Puck patted him on the back.
"Come on, man, let's get you home. Sleep off some of that booze."
The trek back to the Hudson home was a long one of Finn crying and his drunk what ifs. Sam and Puck, being almost sober now from the panic they had previously, listened and told him it'd be all right. He just needed to go to bed.
'And I know that I'm drunk but I'd say the words
And she'll listen this time even though they're slurred
So I dialed her number and confessed to her
I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing'
Finn waited until Puck and Sam left to pull out his cell phone. He had almost gotten it taken away by them but he told them it was broken and being in the slightly inebriated state they were still in, they believed him.
So there he was, sitting at his desk as he stared at his cell phone clasped in his palms. It was so easy to type in the number he had memorized by heart and unfortunately would never forget. Even deleting her out of his contacts wouldn't hold him back.
Silently, he placed the phone against his ear and listened to it ring.
The tone was the loudest thing he had ever heard in that moment but it was probably because his breath was held, just wondering if and hoping she'd pick up.
When the fifth ring went by unanswered, he figured she wasn't going to pick up but to his surprise, as he was pulling the receiver away from his ear, the ringing ceased and silence from the other end enveloped him.
He listened for a few seconds waiting for the voicemail recording that never came. That was unusual. Wasn't that supposed to happen? He was aware he was drunk and a little out of it but he knew a recording was supposed to play so you could leave a message… unless… she picked up?
"H-Hello?" His voice was shaky and uneasy probably from the booze but also because he was very nervous.
When no response came, he looked down to the screen and saw the call was still in progress so he put it back to his head and tried again.
"Quinn? Quinn, are you there?" Still with no answer, he began to explain himself, just having a feeling she was listening.
"I- I'm um, sorry bout the time cause uh, I know it's late but um, I just needed to call to tell you I miss you and um, I love you. I'm… I'm still in love with you… Maybe we could talk more? And um, s-see if we could work on us. What d'ya say?"
He tried hard not to slur too much. She had to know he was serious. She was the love of his life after all and he needed her.
When no other sound but deafening silence came through, he felt tears sting the corners of his eyes.
"Quinn?" He began to softly cry and across the town, Quinn shut her eyes in fear they would betray her and begin to tear too.
She did love Finn, she did, but she just couldn't do it anymore. Their relationship turned into a job. They'd work so hard just to get together between their busy day schedules and her budding career as an attorney at Wormer and Croix. It was a routine. They'd wake up, she'd go to work, he'd go give a hand at the Hummel's garage and later in the night, they'd return to their apartment and would order take out because they were too tired to cook and then would watch the same god damn movies all the god damn time! She wanted excitement! She wanted more variety in her life, more spontaneity and he just wasn't giving that to her, never mind the sex had turned meaningless.
She didn't know when it changed from making love to just fucking but it did and she couldn't do any of it anymore.
Their epic romance they had in high school and that everyone saw had lost its flame a while back and she knew it was over. They had to be.
So she ended it.
Hearing him whimper through his tears broke her heart. She needed it to stop because she knew if she kept listening, she would take him back and they'd ultimately go back to how they were before, no matter if he said he'd fix it and try to make more time and variety. He'd be better! He would be more adventurous in bed and make love like a Greek god! He'd take cooking lessons to make homemade meals instead of the casual takeout! He'd do whatever so they could be together.
But she couldn't go back and it really sucked.
So instead of giving in, she turned her emotions off and pressed the blearing bright red 'end' button on the screen. It was the end to their relationship.
Back in the Hudson residence, he tried once more.
"Quinn? Quinn?"
When he looked to the screen he saw the call had been disconnected.
She didn't respond. She didn't say anything.
He couldn't let it end like just like that.
'So I stumble there, along the railings and the fences
I know if we're face to face then she'll come to her senses
Every drunk step I take leads me to her door
If she sees how much I'm hurting, she'll take me back for sure'
With his judgment heavily impaired, he made the quick decision to leave his house and make his way down the streets of Lima to their apartment they no longer shared.
Using anything he could to keep him stable, he shuffled down the roads to her door, but just as he passed the gazillionth fire hydrant he had seen, he stumbled on his own feet and fell to the ground, landing on his knees half on the side walk and grass with his phone slipping out of his hand.
Finn hissed out in pain for his knee that hit the cement and held onto it tightly, nursing the not yet existent bruise that knew would result.
As he gripped roughly to his knee, he looked around at all his surrounding and noticed his phone splayed on the ground. It must have fell in a way that made his most recent calls display and he saw at the top of this list, Quinn's number. The call where she didn't say a word.
The call where she said nothing... absolutely nothing. She didn't speak. Not a word. Not one. She didn't care enough to say anything to him…
As he continued to stare at his phone, the sad realization hit him that she probably didn't want to see him and his making a surprise visit to her apartment wouldn't be desired nor the best thing to do at all.
He felt the warm trail of a tear slide down his already stained cheeks and it made him break down even more. But this wasn't from the searing pain still very much present in his knee cap but from realizing that the love of his life truly didn't want to speak with him. She was done. She had moved on and he was still stuck in the past like a dumb clinger that wasn't ready to call it quits… But he had to.
It washed over him like a tidal wave; she was done, therefore, they were done.
'Ohh, sometimes love's intoxicating
Ohh, you're coming down, your hands are shaking
When you realize there's no one waiting'
Sadly, Finn picked himself up from the ground, his knee no longer bothering him after sitting there for a good ten minutes just letting everything sink in, and stumbled back to his house.
He had to be done even if he didn't want to and he had to move on, even if he felt like he couldn't.
… At least he still had Sam and Puck... Those assholes... but they were his assholes.
'She said nothing
Oh, I wanted words but all I heard was nothing
Oh, I got nothing
Oh, I got nothing
Oh, I wanted words but all I head was nothing
I got nothing'
That would be my interpretation of the song and its meaning to the best of my ability. I'm sorry it's not a happy Fuinn story but I was dying to write a angsty/sad one. Is that messed up? But whatever it is, I did enjoy writing it. I had to get it out of my brain before I wrote more for A Gleeful Reality.
I hope you liked it! A review would be great to tell me so and I have half of the chapter done for AGR so I'm hoping to have it finished in the next week but being back in school is really a killer. It's midterm week coming up soon :/
Thanks for reading!