Logan wakes to a knock at the door rolling over he looks at the clock that reads 3:23AM last time he looked it had just rounded on three.
Well it's more sleep than you've gotten most nights in the last two weeks jackass. He thinks to himself as he rolls over hoping whoever is at the door gets the hint and goes away. That fateful night plays back in his mind again. The anger when she made the accusation, the look of fear when she realized it was true and finally the look of hurt and heartbreak that had haunted him the last two weeks when she turn and left. He hears the knock again only it's louder.
I should have gone after her. He tried to call but she never responded and he couldn't blame her. He shouldn't have let her run he should have stopped her and forced her to talk it through with him until she calmed down. The night flashes through his mind again as he gives into the knocking.
"Jeans. Bold choice, I hope the maitre d' is fashion forward," he teases as she walks in for their big date in her casual clothes and her 'I'm on a mission look'.
"Did you and Madison have sex over winter break," she ignores his joke and goes straight for home. Logan looks up at her with a horrified expression before dropping his head to look at his hands and she knew Madison hadn't been lying. "I asked you point-blank," she says voice strangled.
"And I lied," he pauses for a minute before he stands and starts to move towards her. "Point-blank. It wasn't information you had a right to know," he knew what he was saying was wrong. Of course, she had a right to know he was just terrified of her reaction. "I knew you wouldn't be able to handle the Madison thing!"
Her expression turned angry and Logan was almost thankful, and angry Veronica he could deal with. "Which thing are you talking about? The 'she roofied me' thing or the thing where I stumbled to my car in the morning, wondering where my virginity was, and she'd written 'slut' on my windshield," she yells. "Was that what you thought I couldn't deal with? I am so genuinely sick right now. If I could have eaten anything today, I'd be throwing up all over your floor." Veronica turns to walk out halting when she hears his voice.
"We were broken up at the time," he yells desperately worried he's going to lose her. When Veronica whirls around he wishes he had kept his mouth shut and let her keep walking because seeing her face contorted between hurt, confusion, and anger made him sick.
"You know how I feel about her," she raises her voice again choking back the tears she feels coming on. "There's no way that, at some point while it was happening, that you weren't thinking about how much I'd hate you being with her!"
"It wasn't like that," he claims taking another step forward.
"No," she asks trying but failing to keep the hurt out of her voice and her tears at bay. "Do you want another variation? Cause' I've got a million sickening scenarios running around on a loop right now."
Logan watches at the tears run down her face, he moves forward to comfort her. "I wasn't trying to hurt you," he says solemnly as she jerks away from his touch.
"Oh really? Imagine if you tried," the venom seeping back into her voice. She turns around to walk only to again be stopped by his voice.
"What do you want me to do," he asks letting the desperation and fear into his words. "What can I do?"
"Make it not true?" she turns back to him shoulders hunched protecting herself with her arms. All the anger and venom that was there was gone as her lips quiver and the tears come more steadily, "Get it out of my head and never let me thing about it again? Cause—" her voice cracks, "Unless you can do that, this is something I'm never going to get past." She looked heartbroken and defeated, something he hadn't seen come across his beautiful girlfriends face since Lily had died.
Veronica turns on her heels and exists the hotel suite and bolting to the elevator pausing before she gets on, conflicted about leaving the love of her life. She expects him to come after her knowing she will have to wait for the elevator but he doesn't, Logan stands in the middle of the suite shell shocked fighting back his own fresh wave of tears.
I should have stopped her. He sighs as he pulls the door of the suite open to reveal the shock of his life. There stood Veronica all five feet of her. The petite blonde was wearing her signature jeans and a t-shirt with her bag slung over her shoulder. She looked like she hadn't been to bed yet and from the dark circles under her eyes he'd say that she's probably gotten as much sleep as he has in the last two weeks if not less.
"Veronica, what are you doing here," he asks concerned.
Echolls you've officially lost it. Hallucinations aren't healthy maybe it's time to see a doctor. He mentally scolds himself for the image in front of him.
"Can I come in?" she looks behind him into the empty room.
"Of course," he stands to the side allowing her to enter the space, "Are you okay?"
"Right as rain," she shrugs going to sit on the large couch as he stands in front of her. "I can't sleep, I can't eat, I still have Logan and Madison show playing on a loop in my head," Logan hangs his head ashamed.
Well that clears that up…not your imagination. He inwardly sighs.
"Veronica—" he starts.
"No, that's not why I'm here Logan I'm not trying to make you feel worse," she looks up at him with pools in her eyes threatening to spill over. "You were right we were broken up I technically have no right to be upset."
"You have every right to be upset Veronica. I was drunk and I did a stupid thing that jeopardized us," he assures her shaking his head before admitting. "I love you so much and I thought there was never a chance of us getting back together…I was just trying to numb the pain and I didn't realize who with until the morning after."
"You broke up with me Logan," she exclaims exasperated, "I never wanted to end us in the first place."
"I know Veronica, but I thought that was how it had to be," he watches as she shifts uncomfortably on the couch.
"I miss you," she whispers so quietly he almost doesn't catch it.
Wait what did she say? He tries to keep the hope and excitement out of his voice.
"I miss you too Veronica, so much, I can't even begin to explain how sorry I am," he drops his head to look at the floor.
"Look Logan," she pauses as she stands and starts pacing the room. "I am nowhere near past this and I don't know if I will ever be truly able to forget it…but I miss you." She stops pacing and looks up at him. Logan watches her as she swipes angrily at her face when a tear escapes without her permission. He takes a cautionary step forward, when she doesn't retreat he closes the distance between them and wipes away another tear that has escaped. "Staying away from you…it hurts more than trying to push past the Madison thing…it's going to take time…but if you're willi—"
"I love you Veronica, more than anything," he cuts her off hoping she won't overanalyse and change her mind. "I will be here waiting whenever you are ready to come back."
"That's the thing Logan, I don't want that time to be space I think we've had enough time apart over the years," she pauses placing a hand on his chest, "but we need to go slow until I've made my peace with this."
"Whatever you need Veronica, I honestly thought you were never going to talk to me again and I wouldn't have blamed you," he lets his hand brush he hair from her face. "This is more than I deserve."
Veronica accepts his words and his gesture leaning into his hand she utters the three words she hadn't been able to say out loud to anyone but her dad since Lily. "I love you, Logan," a small smile graces her lips as he stares blankly at her.
"Say that again," he demands.
"I love y—" she doesn't get to finish before his lip crash onto hers retreating only when air becomes necessary.
"I love you too, Veronica," he smiles pulling her into a hug. They stand quietly in each other's embrace until a drunken Dick stumbles through the door and into his room not even giving the couple a second glance.
Veronica shakes her head before looking back up at Logan. "Do you mind if I stay here," she asks and watches as his eyes light up.
"You're always welcome here V that's why I gave you a room key," he wraps his arm around her waist guiding her to his bedroom.
"Good because I'm exhausted and I think the only way I'm going to be able to sleep is in your arms," she sighs stripping as Logan closes the bedroom door.
"Well I'm glad to be of service," he smarts tossing her a t-shirt from one of his drawers and a pair of her sleep shorts she had left there. The pair climb quickly into bed, Logan pulling Veronica flush against his chest and wrapping a protective arm around her mid-section they let their exhaustion take them over and they both fell into a peaceful dreamless sleep for the first time in weeks.
A few hours later Logan rolls over and opens his eyes sitting up in alarm, Veronica is nowhere to be seen and her side of the bed is cold. He slumps down trying to ignore the knot forming in his stomach that maybe it was all a dream until he hears someone in the bathroom. Logan looks at the clock that claimed it was 7:08 AM, he cautiously gets out of bed and moves towards the door pulling on a pair of sweatpants off the chair as he goes.
"Veronica, are you okay," he asks when he hears her throwing up.
"Don't come in here I'm fine," she mumbles threw the door before turning back to the toilet. As soon as Logan hears her throw up again he opens the door to the bathroom and strides over to her ignoring her demands. He immediately grabs one of her hair elastics from her designated drawer in the vanity that he had yet to clean out. Pulling her hair away from her face he secures it with the elastic before turning his attention to rubbing her back. "I told you not to come in here," she scolds when she catches her breath.
"And I exercised my right to ignore you," he smirks running his hand over her back again before returning to the sink to wet a washcloth and fill a water glass.
"This is gross," she whines, "you shouldn't have to see this." Veronica leans back against the tub as she takes the offered water. Logan places the cold wet towel around the back of her neck as he takes a seat beside her.
"How are you doing there Sugarpuss," he asks watching as a little colour returns to her face.
"I thought I was over this," she looks over at him, "I'm sorry, had I known I was still sick I would have stayed home."
"As long as we are back together I don't care if I get sick…Wait still," he questions knowing he has seen her from afar around campus the last week and she look fine, more than fine she looked gorgeous.
"Yea, I've been sick on and off this week," she admits taking a sip of water, "ending up on the bathroom floor a couple of times a day, but then feeling completely fine once my stomach was empty."
"Have you seen your doctor," he asks as she moves like lightning back over the toilet bowl. She shakes her head as she starts to breathe evenly again. "Okay I'm going to call an make you an appointment."
"Logan no," she whines sitting back on her knees making sure she's okay before leaning into the tub again. "It's just a stomach bug I'll be fine."
"Nice try Bobcat but I'm worried so you're going," he smirks as he stands to go grab his phone, "and to make sure you actually go I'm taking you." Logan leaves the bathroom chuckling as she hears her mumble 'jackass' before resting her head against the tub ledge fighting another wave of nausea as she hears his muffled voice from the other room. He comes back in a few moments later to see her with her eyes closed and breathing evenly. Logan pick up her small frame and carries her back to bed setting an alarm for eleven-thirty so they could make her doctor's appointment before curling back up beside her holding her close to catch up on their sleep.
It was just before one when Logan reaches over the console for Veronica's hand. The drive aside from her objections at the beginning had been quiet. "Now I don't want to upset you—" he starts.
"Oh, nothing good ever comes from those words," Veronica jokes cautiously.
"I'm just curious…and this may be too soon but…" he struggles to find the words, "How did you find out about the Madison thing?"
Veronica sighs and squeezes his hand, "It's a fair question I guess," she looks out the window before turning back to him. "I didn't dig like you thought I had…I had gone into 'blush' looking for something for our special date," Logan balks at the store name not thinking his Veronica would ever go into a lingerie store knowing how shy she was about her sexuality and how innocent she still was in that regard. He then sat in awe that his girl would do that especially for him. "Anyway, I was heading to checkout when I ran into Madison and she informed me that you two had hooked up in Aspen and that is how she knew you wouldn't like the one-piece numbers I had picked out," she says snarly trying to brush off the sting of the memory as she tries to remove her hand from his as she looks at her lap but he doesn't allow it grasping hers tighter.
"Veronica, I am so sorry you had to find out like that…I…I should have just told you, I was just so scared you'd run," he says as he pulls into a parking spot in front of her doctor's office making a mental note never to buy her lingerie unless she asks for it.
"And I probably would have…I'm a runner Logan…I always have been…but it might have only taken me two days to come back instead of two weeks," she tells him looking up at him as he turns off the ignition and squares himself to her.
"But we're moving forward right," he asks concerned grabbing her other hand in his and looking her in the eyes.
"Yes, babe we are," she smiles at him squeezing his hands tighter, "like I said it's going to take me time, and I'm telling you, for now sex is off the table until I can at least get the vison of Madison riding you and giggling out of my head..."
"That's fair…I don't like it but it's fair," he grimaces at the thought of just how long his hand might be his only action. Veronica lets a chuckle past her lips at his facial expression.
"I love you, Logan, and I want us to be able to push past this," she watches as his face lightens and a smile graces his lips.
"God I'm never going to get tired of hearing you say that," he moves in to place a gentile kiss against her lips, "I love you too Bobcat, more than I can say!"
They share one more heartfelt loving kiss before heading into the doctor's office. Taking their seats after signing in Veronica reaches for his hand, lacing their fingers immediately she leans into his side taking in the moment. "Mars, Veronica," the nurse calls out.
"Do you want me to stay here," Logan asks as she stands. Shaking her head, she tightens the grip on his hand, "if I didn't know any better I'd say you're scared of the doctors," he quirks an eye at her as she drags him along, "you know, between the fuss about coming and the death grip you have on me."
"It's a good thing you know better than," she says smiling shyly at him. He sees the spark of fear in her eyes and wraps his arm around her pulling her closer as they walk into the exam room.
"Alright hun, if you just take a seat the doctor will be in to see you in just a moment," Veronica just nods as she takes a seat on the table Logan still holding her hand trying to ease her obvious discomfort. They don't say anything as they wait for the doctor, just looking around and exchanging casual intimate touches and brushes of the fingers.
The door opens and a young woman in her late twenties walks, "Miss. Mars, I'm Dr. Hastings, how are you doing today?"
"I'm good," she gives the doctor a tight smile.
"And who do we have here," she asks turning her attention to the man beside her.
"I'm the boyfriend, Logan," he extends his hand toward her, "took a little arm twisting to get her to come."
"And I will apologize for his instance that I come just for you to tell me that I have a stomach bug," she glares in Logan's direction as Dr. Hasting laughs at the couples' antics.
"Well why don't you lay back veronica so I can assess you and we'll get you out of here as soon as possible," she says moving towards the bed. "Logan if you don't mind taking a seat over there," she points to the chair across the room, seeing Veronica's unease at the suggestion she makes an amended suggestion of just standing on the other side of the table. The doctor went about her test, poking and prodding, and asking her questions, "alright I'm just doing to take some blood and check your levels. Would you like to wait for the results or we can call you when they come in."
"We'll wait," Logan claims before Veronica can even comprehend what the doctor has asked. Dr. Hasting nods her head and leaves the room. He sees the look on his girls face and smirks, "Sorry V, but we're staying put until we know what's wrong with you."
"Logan, you realize waiting for these results could take hours right," she looks over at him skeptically.
"Then they take hours, but I feel like if we're sitting here she will put a rush on it," he leans over and kisses her forehead. Veronica moves to the head of the table crossing her legs to make room for him to sit beside her. They talk about what their lives had been like for the last two weeks and make plans for a reconciliation date in the forty-five minutes it takes for Dr. Hastings to re-enter the room.
"Well Veronica you most definitely do not have the flu," she says with a smirk.
"What's wrong then? Is she going to be okay? I don't care what treatment costs I'll pay it," Logan rushes on freaking out not seeing the humor on the doctor's face.
"It's nothing like that I assure you, Veronica it seems that you're pregnant, congratulations," she smiles broadly at the shocked couple.
"I'm sorry come again," she says trying to comprehend the information she was just given, Logan beside her sitting still as a board both shell socked.
Pregnant…how is that even possible? I mean we are careful…we have always been so careful! She runs through in her head all the times they had been together in the last few months and she couldn't think of a single time any guards were down.
"You're pregnant," she reiterates a little less chipper this time seeing the face of her patient. Veronica reaches out and grabs Logan's hand in a death grip terrified before meeting his eyes. Where she expects to see anger, fear and regret she only sees joy, relief and love, unconditional love. Seeing the pure happiness in his eyes immediately calms her making her melt.
"A baby, Bobcat, we're having a baby," he exclaims kissing her hard before pulling her tightly to his chest.
"Apparently," she lets out a strangled giggle as the tears pool in her eyes feeling the same sense of joy, "you and your stupid overachieving super sperm, I think your ego just increased tenfold!" Logan laughs at her joke retracting from her enough to kiss her once again, leaning their foreheads together and just appreciate the moment. A Baby…A teeny-tiny human…Our teeny-tiny human…
"Alright, lovebirds obviously this came as a surprise but assuming from your reactions you'd like to keep the baby, yes," she asks looking at them form confirmation. Veronica's nod was slightly less enthusiastic than Logan's, not because she didn't want the baby but because the fear of her impending motherhood was starting to creep up on her. "In that case, would you like to see your baby," and just like that all of her fears quieted and she nods quickly. Dr. Hasting instructs Veronica on how she would like her situated while she goes to find the machine. Slowly she lays back once again, lifting her shirt and unbuttoning the tops of her jeans tucking them down a little. Logan keeps a tight grip on one of her hands while his other forms to her cheek stoking it in a loving manner. Dr. Hastings arrives several minutes later setting up the machine. "This is going to be a little cold," she says about to squeeze the ultrasound gel onto Veronica's stomach. She tenses slightly and hisses as the gel touches her overheated skin. Dr. Hastings presses a few buttons and starts to move the gel around on her abdomen pausing for a moment when she finds the fetus. "There is your baby," she smiles pointing to the bean shape on the screen.
"Is it okay," Veronica asks unsure feeling a sudden urge to protect the little being inside of her.
"Everything is looking good," she says clicking a few more buttons, "measurements look right on track, I'd say you're about seven weeks along."
"What is that flicking in the center of the screen," she questions still needing the reassurance that her baby is okay.
"That is your baby's heartbeat, if you're lucky we might be able to hear it today," she turns back to the monitor and turns the volume on the doppler. The room is quickly filled with a fast whooshing sound and tears run down the sides of Veronica's face. The immediate love that washes over her, she automatically knows there is nothing she wouldn't do for this little person. She turns her head from the screen momentarily taking a breath she looks over at a misty-eyed Logan.
"This is really happening," he says looking down at her when he feels her thumb brush a tear off his cheek. "That's our baby Veronica, we made that!"
"Yea, we did," she tilts her head for a kiss as Dr. Hastings begins to clean off her stomach.
"I will let you get situated and when you're ready I will meet you out front," the good doctor says leaving them to their moment and so Veronica can fix her clothing.
The couple kiss again before Logan dips his head and kisses her belly lingering momentarily before standing straight and helping Veronica from the table. They exit the exam room hand in and heading for the front desk where Dr. Hastings was waiting for them.
"Alright Veronica, I've put together a little folder for you here," she says passing over a light but intimidating file folder. "In there you will find a list of dos and don'ts in regards to food, exercise, and daily activities. I've compiled over the years the best liked baby books from patients and put them into a list for you if you like research. There is a prescription for your prenatal vitamins. Estimated due date. Pictures and video from today's ultrasound and I've included your next appointment card in there as well. If you have any questions please don't hesitate to call me and if that is all I will see you in four weeks."
"Thank you, Dr. Hastings," Veronica says smiling at the woman as she starts to retreat.
"You ready to go then Sugarpuss," Logan ask placing his palm on the small of her back.
"Yea, let's go get this prescription filled and then you're taking us for food…baby's hungry," she smirks as they walk towards the XTerra.
"Oh yea," he asks opening her door for her, "and what is it baby wants?"
"Luigi's," she replies automatically bouncing a little as he gets into the driver's side.
"Why does that sound more like something Mama wants," he raises his eyebrow at her as he starts the ignition.
"Same thing," she smiles, "at least for the next thirty-threeish weeks give or take," she leans over kissing his cheek before taking a deep breath. "We do have to talk about this though."
"I know Veronica…I know," he sighs, "can we just be happy about it today though and talk about it tomorrow? One day to just enjoy the fact that we are going to have a baby. One day to ignore the possible problems or complications that come with that?"
"One day," she agrees easily going against her nature not really wanting to ruin their bubble just yet either.