Disclaimer: not mine of course

"Corporate Raiders" ... Season 10 episode 2

Takes place at the end of the episode, when Mattie leaves for the second time (she came back in the apartment because she forgot her sweater).

===== JAG =====

Harm's apartment
North of Union Station
1730

Harm watched Mattie leave and let out a heavy sigh. He looked at the door for one more minute and then went back to work. He heard a soft knock on his door and, thinking it was Mattie again, he said "Enter" without looking up from the report he was reading.

He heard the door opened and said:
"Did you forget something again?"
"I don't think so."

He lifted his head and saw Mac there, by the closed door. She was dressed in civvies and looked absolutely gorgeous.
"I'm sorry. I thought it was Mattie coming back."
"So I gathered."

She smiled at him and approached his desk. He dropped his pen and stood up.
"Would you like something to drink?"
"No thanks."
"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?"
"I came for advice on one of my case. But that can wait. Are you alright?"
"Yes. Why are you asking?"
"You seem… sad."
"No, I'm fine."

He went to the kitchen and took two bottles of water out of the fridge. He handed one to Mac and went to sit on the couch. Mac joined him and sat too. She knew he wouldn't tell her. He had his walls back up around him and she hoped she could reach him again. So she tried to sound casual by asking a few questions. She knew what bothered him. Now, she just needed to make him tell her.

"I saw Mattie on my way here. She is a great kid, isn't she?"
"Yes."
"I thought you would have gone with them see the movie."
"I had work to do."
"Oh, right. Sturgis' reports."
"Yeah."

She decided she had enough of his short answers so she pushed him harder.
"You won't lose her you know."
"What?"
"Mattie. The fact that she is talking to her dad again doesn't mean that she will forget about you. You are a part of her life now."
"I know."

He was tired of her questioning. He just wanted to be left alone.
"Look Mac. I'm fine with that OK? Now if you don't mind, I have to finish with those reports."

He made the mistake to look at her at this moment. He saw the hurt in her eyes.
"OK. I'll leave you alone."

She stood and went to the door. She turned around. He had his back to her, his face in his hands.

For his part, Harm was cursing himself. He knew she just wanted to help, to be there for him, like he promised he would be there for her. Even if she was always pushing him away. But he wanted to talk to her, to tell her his fears and his feelings about Mattie. He needed her to reassure him. To listen to him. To hold him. He felt like crying. So when he heard the door opened, he talked:

"I'm gonna lose her Mac."

She sighed with relief, closed the door and put her stuff on the counter top before joining him on the couch. She hesitated a brief second but took his hand in hers and squeezed it to let him know she was there.

"You know, I always wanted her to have a good relationship with her father. That was the goal at the beginning. And now I realize that she took a big place in my life and in my heart. And it's hard to let her go. I'm gonna lose her."
"No you're not. Like you said, she took a place in your life and she will always be there. She will always need you."
"She'll probably go back to live with him."
"Probably. But she'll never forget you Harm. She will come to visit you whenever she can."
"Will that be enough?"
"It will be hard. But you'll manage."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Chloe. I know it's not exactly the same but I used to see her every week before Bud found her father. And now I see her during some school breaks, it's not often. It's not enough but I enjoy every minute spent with her."

He squeezed her hand and smiled at her.
"Thank you Mac. For helping me with Mattie's guardianship. For being my friend. And for being here now."
"There's nowhere else I'd rather be!"

They looked at each other for a minute. Harm cupped her cheek and caressed it tenderly. She leaned on his hand without taking her eyes off of his.

"You're not alone Harm. I'm here."
"Thank you" was his whispered response.

She saw a tear falling down his cheek and wiped it off with her thumb. More tears came after this one. So she just put her arms around him and held him tight for several minutes, letting him cry against her chest. He held onto her for dear life and let his sadness and his pain expressed in this embrace. When he calmed down, he backed away just so he could see her.

"I love you so much Sarah; I need you… don't leave me."
"Never. I love you Harm. You'll never be alone!"

THE END

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